CHAPTER 2

HALL PASS PT.2

I sat on a log, burying my head in my arms, completely lost. Part of me wanted to stay in this area hoping that the portal would magically appear to take me home. Knowing that this was falsely placed hope tossed that idea straight out the window.

(Ezra):” FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKK!!!”

Allowing some time to pass I Somehow managed to pull my head out of my ass, getting back on track thinking of what to do with myself. Deciding on moving out in search of a small town or maybe even a cabin would be the best plan of action. Camping was an old family tradition when I was younger. Although, that tradition has long come to a halt.

This brought upon another worry. If there happens to be nobody living in this area, I have no clue what the fuck I am doing. No water filter, nor tools I could use to even attempt at what I can only imagine would be a disaster of a camping trip. As a city boy, hunting is not something I have done either. To be fair, there was a weird phase were watching videos about sustaining life in the wilderness was a guilty pastime. Little did I know when the time really came years down the road, the information would fade away to the deepest parts of my subconscious telling me to go fuck myself. Aimlessly stumbling forward without any direction, refusing to stop, conscious of the setting sun. Which was only several hours from leaving me out in the forest alone, without shelter, light, food, water or heat, began to mess with my state of mind. Especially when the forest began to shine with a creamy orange glow as the gaps between the shade became less frequent.

At Moments like these, I wish I had a cell phone. Even when out of the service area it could have been used as a flashlight. In this situation, it would be useful since it is becoming increasingly more difficult to notice what is in front of me. Flickering out In the distance, there was a small orange glow. I got excited at the hopes it would be a light coming from a cabin or small town. After walking for what felt like a straight hour, any sign of human life would have been a blessing. Closing in on the orange light, the glow seems to be from a small village. Even though I was expecting to come across a lone cabin or a small town, fuck it, this works as well. It might have been more remote than I had anticipated. Remote or not, this was the only chance at a possible meal along with a place to stay. That in mind, I pulled my back up straight and strode towards the village.

Upon a closer glance at the village, it became quite obvious that it was rather primitive compared to my expectations. It was almost straight from a film about the dark ages. Small wooden cottages with thatched reed roofs. It Seemed villagers were gathering around a fire, having a meal accompanied by dancing, singing, and other festivities. Noticing the number of people, along with a culture I am completely ignorant of, caused my palms to turn sweaty and my throat to go dry, like what the actual fuck am I doing? What kind of situation am I actually in? this is some actual bullshit. How do I even explain my situation to these people? Do they even speak English? Will they even be willing to help some outsider in a rural area like this? I can’t very well stride up there saying, “Hey, my name is Ezra, I just got teleported into wherever the fuck this place is. May I have a meal? Also, your house looks mighty cozy may I sleepover?”… Even if that is the truth, there is major doubt anyone would believe me.

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Realizing that I had no clue how I was going to handle this situation, the entrance to the village was already right in front of me. Members of the village had already noticed my presence, my chest tightened, while my breathing turned rough. It was as if their eyes beamed lasers into all sides of my face giving the feeling, it is about to melt right the fuck off, hell I could practically hear what they were thinking.

(Man): “Stop! What is your purpose for coming to our village at this time?”

Almost immediately, there was already a wall of men standing before me.

(Ezra): “I..I a…y-yeah, so… I apologize for just popping up out of nowhere and bothering your festivities, but I woke up in the forest with no idea where I am… would it be possible to ask to spend a night in your village?”

These villagers spoke English which was a huge shock, let us be fucking honest for a quick second. Who would have been able to guess English was a language they would know in this damned upside down looking ass land. One luck-based instance did not stop me from feeling increasingly uncomfortable about my situation. They were wearing very simple clothes, it made them look like participants of a renaissance fair. Feeling confused and slightly flustered caused the nervousness to show through a crude stutter, luckily, managing to calm myself, quickly afterward, I was able to properly ask for assistance respectfully.

(Man): “Hmmm… Chief, what do you wish for us to do?”

(Chief): “Mmm…It seems like a child who got lost or possibly even abandoned. We shall allow him to rest his head tonight, figuring out the rest tomorrow.”

Luckily the people of upside down land seemed welcoming. Once the chief finished speaking, I was asked to follow. To be honest, there was still some hesitation to trust them even though I was the one asking for help. They lead me to the bonfire where we joined with the rest of the community. Villagers began passing me food and wine which again, there was a slight hesitation. Trying not to show disrespect by rejecting their goodwill, I accepted the food and wine. I figured if I am about to go out, this would be a better way then being eaten by fucking Simba in that godforsaken forest… The food ended up being extraordinarily good though. The meat bursting with flavor, while melting in my mouth like butter. The wine was sweet, almost like juice, allowing me to easily drink it down, as the villagers continuously refilled my glass as we appreciated the beautiful dancing and singing. The villagers asked about where I was from, as I explained that America was my country, and spoke about being a young high school student, they looked a bit confused as if the words I spoke made no sense to them.

Eventually, the wine began to really get to me, so I decided to excuse myself and asked where I could rest for the night. One of the men showed me to an empty stable handing me a blanket apologizing that this is the only available place they had at the moment. Honestly, I was appreciative enough to have had a warm meal along with not being forced to sleep in the middle of that forest.

Sleeping was rather rough at first due to the itch of the hay, worries of spiders, as well as other bugs crawling over me. Thankfully those thoughts quickly dissipated as I fell into a deep sleep. Due to my physical and mentally exhausted state. Oh, well…the wine helped too. Upon waking up, I felt my body shaking roughly causing small beads of sweat to form, as my mouth began to salivate and stomach began to churn. Reflecting on last night’s activities. The wine from the other night was not the best of ideas. Wiggling in an attempt to roll over I feel restraint against my arms and legs preventing me from freely moving. Confused, I finally opened my eyes to unfamiliar surroundings, with the sound of creaking wood being bombarded by small rocks. Seconds later the realization hit me. Those god damned upside down land bastards!! Those fucks tied my ass up putting me on a damned slave wagon…Each one of these poor shmucks looked as if the world was ending, so one can safely assume that even in fucking upside down land slavery ain’t much of a fun occupancy.