Annabelle stared at me in confusion.
“What do you mean my soul isn’t human?” she asked, a hint of disbelief in her voice.
Oh boy. Maybe I should have started with the other bit of weird news. At least that one wouldn’t have given her an existential crisis.
“I meant exactly what I said,” I said. “Your soul isn’t human. You have an inhuman soul.”
Annabelle stared at me in disbelief.
“Bullshit,” she said, her voice heated. She pulled out of my hold and stood up. “Are you telling me that this doesn’t look human to you?”
Annabelle gestured to her body.
“I look human, I smell human, I sound human.” She pointed a finger at me. “And you know from personal experience that I feel and taste human.”
I stood up as well, holding up my hands in a placating gesture.
“I never said that you weren’t human,” I said. “You have a human body. However, your soul is not.”
Annabelle crossed her arms and faced away from me.
“Oh yeah?” she said in a sarcastic tone. However, beneath her sarcasm, I could hear the fear in her voice. “If my soul isn’t human, then what is it?”
I paused, unsure if I should say this next bit. To most people, Annabelle’s soul would have looked like a humans. However, due to my memories as Immortal Celestial Thunder, I knew that it wasn’t. I recognized the signs. If I told her the truth, I wasn’t sure how Annabelle would react.
What if she loathed herself, and thought of herself as a monster? Yet, did I have the right to keep the truth away from her? Knowledge of one’s self was an important aspect of cultivation.
When I didn’t reply right away, Annabelle looked at me again.
“Gabe, why aren’t you answering me?” she asked. “Is it really that bad?”
“Not bad, no,” I said, at least from my point of view. She might think differently. In the end, I decided to compromise. “A plant.”
Annabelle just stared at me for several long seconds.
“A plant,” she said. “Are you telling me that I have the soul of a plant?”
“Yes. Specifically, a plant spirit beast. Or plant magic beast, as they would say here on Lumina.”
“This isn’t a joke, is it?” she asked. “Because if it is, I swear I will kick your ass right here and now, and leave you behind.”
“It’s not a joke,” I said.
Annabelle stared at me some more, before she covered her mouth.
“Oh god,” she said, starting to panic. Her eyes darted to and fro. “Oh god, you’re telling the truth. I can see it on your face. You’re serious. I’m not a person.”
Her chest heaved as she started to hyperventilate.
“Annabelle,” I said. “Look at me.”
“But how…?” Annabelle paused. “Oh god. Oh god. No. No no no.”
“Annabelle!” I snapped. “Look at me!”
Annabelle’s eyes found mine. She looked panicked, like a cornered animal, ready to either lash out or flee.
“Follow my breathing,” I said. “Breath with me. In.” I breathed in. “Out.” I breathed out.
Annabelle just stared at me, as if she couldn’t understand my words.
“In. Out. In. Out.
I continued to breathe, taking deep breaths. After a few cycles, Annabelle started to follow my breathing pattern. It wasn’t easy at first, since she was hyperventilating, but she soon matched the cadence of her breathing with mine.
In. Out.
It took a while, but most of the panic and fear left her eyes. However, traces of it remained. Maybe now she would be in a frame of mind to listen to me.
“Annabelle,” I said, putting my hands on her shoulders. “If you trust my words, even if it’s only this one thing, believe me when I say that you are a person.”
“But, you just said-…”
“I said that your soul isn’t human,” I interjected. “I never said that you weren’t a person.” I shrugged. “Not all people are human. Maybe it’s easier for me to say this, since I’m used to viewing intelligent magic beasts as people, but you are a person. Having an inhuman soul doesn’t change that.”
Annabelle didn’t reply right away.
“Do you really mean that?” she asked.
“Yes.” I gave her a reassuring smile, or what I hoped was a reassuring smile. “Sorry about that. I didn’t mean to give you an existential crisis. For me, something like this isn’t that weird.”
Annabelle stared off into space for a bit.
“Are you sure?” she asked. “How do you know? What if you’re mistaken?”
“I’m sure,” I said. “Your soul looks human for the most part, that’s why no one has discovered your true nature until now. However, I recognize the signs. You have the soul of a plant magic beast.”
I didn’t know about people here on Lumina, but I knew that most people on Spirit Earth wouldn’t have recognized the signs. Annabelle’s soul was that of a rare kind of plant spirit beast, one that few people knew about: a Ghost Phoenix Lily.
The reason why I recognized the signs was because I met a Ghost Phoenix Lily, a woman by the name of Immortal Dancing Lily. She was one of my allies when I waged war against the Golden Dragon.
Immortal Dancing Lily looked human, and so did her soul, but she wasn’t human. However, unlike Annabelle, Dancing Lily didn’t have a human body. She was a plant all the way through.
In that case, how did a soul like Annabelle’s end up on Earth? And how did it end up in a human body?
“How?” Annabelle asked, her question mirroring my thoughts. “How did my…soul end up on Earth? You said it belonged to some kind of plant magic beast, right? So, how was I born on Earth?”
I shrugged.
“I don’t know,” I said. “Without more information, anything I say would just be speculation.”
“So, am I like you then?” Annabelle asked. “Did I come from the same place you did? Did I die and reincarnate on Earth?”
“Again, I don’t know. There are too many unknowns. I can’t give you a definitive answer.”
Annabelle strangled the air in front of her and let out a series of frustrated sounds.
“Gah!” she said. “Then what good are you?”
Okay, ouch. That hurt a little.
As soon as the words left her mouth, Annabelle looked remorseful.
“Sorry,” she said. “I didn’t mean that. I’m just…I’m just freaking out a little, okay?”
Maybe it would have been better to keep my mouth shut altogether.
“I understand what you’re going through, Annabelle,” I said. “I went through something similar when I first regained the memories of my past lives. Your entire world feels like it’s been upended. What you thought was solid ground was actually quicksand all along. You don’t know what to trust anymore.”
Annabelle nodded, looking both alarmed and relieved. I held out my hands towards her. After a moment’s hesitation, she took them. I started rubbing her palms with my thumbs. Not for any mystical or magical reason, but because I thought that the physical contact would help her.
It worked, since Annabelle visibly relaxed under my ministrations.
“At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter,” I said. “You’re still you, Annabelle. You’re still the same person you’ve always been. Learning the truth about yourself doesn’t change that.”
Annabelle tensed again and pulled her hands away from mine, clenching them into fists.
“Am I Annabelle?” she asked. “In cultivation stories, plant spirit beasts that are in human form or are inside of another person tend to be parasites.” Her face blanched. “Oh god, I’m not a parasite, right? Someone didn’t implant me into a baby, did they? When I was born, Mother and the doctors thought I was stillborn because I didn’t move or make a sound for several minutes. What if I ate a baby’s soul?”
I shook my head.
“No,” I said. “Don’t be ridiculous. If someone implanted you into a baby, and you ate that baby’s soul, I would be able to tell. Not only that, but your body would be that of a plant spirit beast’s, which isn’t the case. You have the soul of a plant spirit beast, but your body is human. Not only that, but your body is a perfect fit for your soul. There isn’t any deviation or misalignment going on there.” I paused. “At worse, your soul ended up in a soulless body. In fact, I think that might have happened. It’s possible that the reason why your body was stillborn was because it didn’t have a soul.”
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It was impossible to know for sure at this point. To do that, I would need to travel back in time and observe Annabelle’s birth with my divine sense. That, or use some kind of divination. That…might not be a bad idea actually. However, this would require someone who was both powerful and also skilled in divination.
Annabelle didn’t look as reassured by my words as I would have hoped. More and more I regretted my decision to tell her even this much of the truth.
“That’s still pretty fucked up,” she said in a quiet voice, looking at the ground. “I’m not sure how to feel about the fact that my birth parents may not actually be my birth parents.”
In my mind, that was just a plus. Given the way they treated her, Annabelle’s birth parents didn’t deserve her.
“Wait a minute,” Annabelle said, looking back up at me. “You didn’t answer one of my questions. I’m not a parasite, am I? Gabriel?”
Fuck. I had hoped she wouldn’t notice that omission.
Yep. It would have been better if I had kept my mouth shut and skipped this entire conversation.
“Gabriel,” Annabelle said. “I’m not a parasite, right?”
“You’re not a parasite,” I said.
She narrowed her eyes at me.
“You’re hiding something from me.”
“I told you the truth. You asked me if you were a parasite, and I said no.”
“Gabriel!” Annabelle swallowed. “Please. Don’t lie to me, and don’t hide things from me. Not like this. I deserve to know the truth.”
Unlike when she used her Puppy Eyes move on me, this was an honest and desperate plea on Annabelle’s part.
I sighed. Fuck it. I might as well tell the whole truth. Half-assing it was a terrible idea anyway.
“You’re not a parasite,” I said. “Anymore.”
At this, Annabelle took a step back. Her foot neared the edge of the boulder we stood on.
“Anymore,” she repeated. “So, I used to be one?”
“You have the soul of a rare kind of plant magic beast called a Ghost Phoenix Lily,” I said. “They start out as parasitic seeds that devour the life force and soul of their host. The more powerful the host, the longer this takes. Afterwards, they create a shell out of their former host’s body and incubate. When they’re done incubating, the Ghost Phoenix Lily breaks out of the shell and blossoms. As their name suggests, they’re a magic beast with the characteristics of both a phoenix and a plant. Think of a phoenix with petals for feathers, and you’ll have a good idea of what their true form looks like.”
I gritted my teeth, because I knew that Annabelle would hate this next part.
“One thing that makes Ghost Phoenix Lilies unique is that in addition to their true form, they can take on a form similar to that of their host. A Ghost Phoenix Lily implanted into a tree magic beast could look like a tree magic beast, one implanted into a dragon could look like a dragon, one-…”
“Implanted into a human,” Annabelle interrupted. “Could look like a human.”
“Yes,” I said. “In body and soul.”
Annabelle didn’t react right away. When she did, she let out a bleak chuckle. Fuck, I was afraid of this.
“So,” she said. “That’s how it is.”
Annabelle took another step away from me. One more, and she would fall off the boulder. I reached out to bring her away from the edge.
“Don’t touch me!” Annabelle said, flinching away. “I’m…I’m a monster.”
She took another step back, and started to fall off the boulder. Ignoring her earlier words, I grabbed her and pulled her into an embrace. Annabelle struggled to break free.
“Let go of me!” she yelled. “No! Please! I’m dirty! Stop touching me. I don’t want my filth to infect you too.”
When it became clear that she couldn’t break free of my embrace with her physical strength alone, Annabelle started to use her magic. The air around us grew hotter and hotter, dispelling the ever present mist. I had seconds at most before she cast a spell. Despite this, I held onto Annabelle.
“You’re not a monster,” I said in a calm and measured voice.
I pulled back enough to look Annabelle in the face. The despair in her eyes broke my heart.
“But you said-…”
“Life and beauty are often born from death. When a creature dies, its body returns to the earth where it becomes nourishment for new life and new growth. It is a cycle. Life. Death. Growth. Decay. Your origins are simply a part of that cycle.”
Annabelle stared at me, a desperate look on her face.
“If you really believed that, then why did you hesitate to tell me the truth? Why did you wait until I all but forced you to?”
“I hesitated because I knew that you wouldn’t react well to the truth,” I said. “I didn’t do it because I’m ashamed or disgusted by you.”
I kissed her cheek.
“You are not dirty.” I kissed her other cheek. “You are not filthy.” I kissed her forehead. “You are beautiful.”
I kissed her lips. At first Annabelle didn’t react, but when I didn’t stop, she returned my kiss. After several seconds, we pulled apart.
“You are Annabelle Marie Thorne,” I said. “You have always been Annabelle Marie Thorne. As I said earlier, you are still you. You always had the soul of a Ghost Phoenix Lily. The only difference now is that now you know the truth.”
“I wish I didn’t know,” Annabelle said. “This…I don’t know if I can accept this.”
“If it helps, you have a beautiful soul.”
Annabelle started at this.
“Really?” she asked.
I nodded.
“It’s like there are two of you, each superimposed over the other,” I said, my voice filled with awe. “The first is you as you are now, but wearing a dress made from fiery red petals. The other is a phoenix made of the same fiery red petals; fierce and majestic. Most people would only see the first version, unless they knew the signs and looked for the second version.”
Unfortunately, words couldn’t adequately describe what I saw. Annabelle’s soul was beautiful. That was the best way I could put it. If I could use more of my divine sense without damaging myself in order to show her, I would.
Annabelle leaned her head against my shoulder, facing away from me.
“Thank you, Gabe,” she said in a quiet voice. “That does make me feel a bit better.” She let out a chuckle. “Don’t get me wrong. It’ll take me a while to process all this, but I don’t hate myself anymore. Still, that was hell of a bomb you dropped on me.”
“I thought about not telling you,” I said. “But knowledge of one’s self is important when it comes to cultivation.”
Annabelle stiffened, before she pulled away to look at me.
“You know,” she said, with a mystified look on her face. “I had completely forgotten about why we were doing this in the first place.” She grimaced. “You said that there were two weird bits. I…I don’t know if I want to ask about the second one.”
“You sure?” I asked. “I find it weirder than the first one, but you might not. Hell, knowing you, you’ll consider it a good thing.”
Annabelle stared at me for several long moments.
“Okay,” she said. “Now I have to know.”
All right then. I took a moment to think about the best way to put this.
“The perfect cultivation technique for you is a mirror of my cultivation,” I said.
Annabelle blinked at me.
“What does that mean?” she asked.
“Everything I do for my technique, from the mnemonics to the way I gather mana in my dantian to the way I cycle it through my being, you would do but mirrored. Or in reverse, if you want to put it that way.”
Once again, Annabelle stared at me for several long seconds.
“You find that weird,” she said slowly.
“Yes,” I said. “It’s disconcerting. You know how unlikely it is for something like that to happen? The odds are so low that it’s practically impossible.” I shook my head. “There’s no way this is a coincidence. Fate is definitely fucking with us here.”
Annabelle looked at me as if I had a screw loose in the head, and then heaved a sigh.
“Let me get this straight,” she said, in an irritated voice. “You find the fact that my perfect cultivation technique is a mirror of your own, weirder than the fact that I have the soul of a parasitic plant spirit beast?”
“Well, yeah,” I said. “Besides, only the seeds of a Ghost Phoenix Lily are parasitic. Mature Ghost Phoenix Lilies aren’t.”
Annabelle pulled out of my embrace and smacked my shoulder.
“You asshole!” she yelled. “Why didn’t you lead with this? Do you know what you just put me through?” She sucked in a breath and waved her hand around. “Fuck! Are your muscles made of stone or something? It felt like I just hit a brick wall!”
I pointed to myself.
“I practice both spiritual cultivation and body cultivation,” I said. “Right now, I could probably take a tank round to the face and live.”
I wouldn’t be in good condition, but I would survive.
Annabelle pointed a finger at me, her expression a mix of emotions. She was still angry at me, or she wanted to be at least, but I could tell that she was interested in what I just said.
“Stop trying to distract me!” she ended up saying. “As cool as I find that, I’m still pissed at you, Gabe. Why didn’t you start with the less weird bit of news?”
“Because it’s not less weird to me. It’s more weird.” She opened her mouth to yell at me some more, but I spoke up before she could. “Hey, at least we’re ending on a good note here.”
“How is that a good note?” Annabelle asked. “It’s less weird, but it’s still weird.” She paused to think about it. “Actually, no. I agree. It’s a good note. Hmm, it’s a bit romantic now that I think about it, as if we were meant to be together. Wait a minute.” She leered at me. “Is dual cultivation a thing?”
Of course she would ask about that.
“That wasn’t what I was going for,” I said in a dry voice, ignoring the question altogether. “Though you do make a good point. The reason why this is good news is because I don’t need too much time to create your cultivation technique. Since I’ve already done most of the work, I just need to adapt my technique to fit you.” I took a moment to think about it. “Honestly, I could probably finish it by the end of the day. Buuuuuuuut if you’re going to keep yelling at me, I lose the moti-…”
Before I could even finish, Annabelle hit me with a tackle hug.
“You’re the best boyfriend ever,” she said, looking up at me with her Puppy Eyes. “I love you, and I’m sorry for yelling at you.”
Okay, wow. That was fast. She must really want to start cultivating.
“Is that what we are?” I asked. “Boyfriend and girlfriend?”
Annabelle tilted her head.
“Why?” she asked with amusement. “You don’t want to be?”
Underneath her amusement, however, I detected a hint of uncertainty.
“I do,” I said. “But it sounds less…Calling you my girlfriend doesn’t really convey how important you are to me. Hmm, lover doesn’t sound right either.”
“Does it matter?” Annabelle asked, arching an eyebrow at me. “As long as we understand the truth of the matter, it doesn’t matter what anybody else thinks.”
“It matters because I want everyone to know that you are mine, and I am yours.”
“A bit possessive, aren’t you?” Annabelle grinned. “I like it. You’re right. I need a way to let those other bitches out there know that you’re my man.”
Huh. This was harder than I thought. We were more than boyfriend and girlfriend, but we weren’t married or even engaged yet.
“What about ‘beloved?’” I asked.
“Wow, talk about cheesy,” Annabelle said. “I love it. I’m your beloved, and you’re mine.” She then jumped into my arms. This was so sudden that I almost didn’t catch her in time. “Now let’s head back. You have a cultivation technique to create for me.”
I rolled my eyes.
“You only want me for my cultivation knowledge.”
“And your sweet personality,” Annabelle said, counting off on her fingers. “Your hot body, your devotion to your family, your devotion to me, the fact that I have you wrapped around my finger.” She grinned at me. “Honestly, I could keep going about all the things I love about you.”
I pursed my lips in displeasure, even though my cheeks were burning with embarrassment.
“I don’t know whether to feel about that last thing you listed off,” I said.
Annabelle leaned forward to kiss me on the cheek, before whispering into my ear.
“And I love how you aren’t repulsed by the fact that I have the soul of a parasite,” she said.
Despite her light tone, I could tell how much this weighed on her. It would be a while before she came to terms with this part of herself.
“Of course, my beloved.”
Annabelle looked away, her cheeks turning red.
“Just hurry up and head back before you get all that cheese all over me.”
I let out a laugh as I headed back to Sturm Hill Hall with Annabelle in my arms.