No matter where you find him, no matter how ready he thinks he is, no matter whether he has had nine months or nine years to plan... no man is ready for a baby. Never. His own or otherwise.

Nathan learned this much earlier than he had expected. At one in the morning, to be precise. He couldn't decide which was worse: the baby, or the nightmare her screaming had interrupted.

He tried feeding her. He tried holding her. He tried changing her diaper, only to realize that on Swalk's boat and maybe in the whole world there was no such thing as a diaper. The extent of his knowledge exhausted, Nathan gave in to a slowly mounting despair as his head rang with her wails.

Maggie raised her arms. "Dear lord, give her to me."

Nathan gently rocked the infant in his arms and was rewarded with an earful of scream. "No."

"It-does-no-good-assassin," Jabberwisp peeped from the rafters. "I-have-offered-to-help-too-but-the-young-master-is-ignoring-me."

"Don't call me that, twig." she peered sightlessly in Nathan's direction. In the dark she looked like an owl caught in a kind of grumpy, rumpled amusement. "Worried I'll 'cheat?' I promise I'm just going to hold her."

"It's not that..." Nathan winced as the baby in his arms gave yet another massive wail. He offered the baby a bottle of milk (Maggie had disappeared and returned with it and a handful of other baby things she claimed to have 'found') and sighed as it was refused again. "I wanna figure this out."

"You've been trying to figure it out for the past twenty minutes." She replied as she slid from under the covers and to his side. "If I'm this annoyed, I can't imagine what the crew is thinking, who we should not be pushing."

"Whom."

Maggie's eyes narrowed and before Nathan could protest she offered the baby a finger to hold. The infant grasped it reflexively and Maggie smiled sadly. "She wants her mother, or at least someone who knows how to hold her. Give her here."

Nathan handed the child over and almost immediately she quieted down. A few moments later she had fallen asleep.

"I told you," Maggie said as she crawled back into bed with the baby carefully nestled in her arms. "I do spend a lot of my off-time in an orphanage, after all."

Nathan folded his arms and leaned against the bulkhead. "I imagine an assassin gets paid pretty well. Good place as any to unload a wallet."

"Even after the guild fees it's still a lot of coin," she nodded. "And free food and lodging whenever I like. Gran insists I keep something for myself, but she barely scraped by before I started helping."

"Guild fees?"

"It's..." Maggie tensed and glanced towards the door a moment before it shook with a pounding knock.

"Come out of there! Come out!"

A chorus of furious yells and catcalls came through the blanket they’d draped over the window . For a crazed moment Nathan thought it was another attack before he realized some of the voices were familiar. Maggie set down the baby, impossibly still asleep, and cursed as she started pulling clothes over her nightgown. "Why won't they leave you alone?"

Nathan shook his head. "I think they mean you too."

"What?"

"They may not like it, but they know they owe me… well, Jabberwisp their lives. Everything they know about you they got from Swalk's face when we left that ship." Nathan grimaced "And... maybe what I told them."

Maggie's sightless eyes gleamed, though with what Nathan couldn't say. "What did you tell them?"

Nathan backed to the door with his hands up and jumped as the heavy wood shivered against his shoulders. "Only that you brought me here! Swalk asked, and he looked as though he might chuck me overboard if he didn't get the truth."

"The truth, huh?" Maggie sighed and plucked something from her pack before joining him at the door. "Well, let's see how much truth these guys can have before they choke on it."

Nathan smiled to himself as he pushed it open. He knew he should be worried, but after demons, torture, and a naval battle an angry mob just didn't seem so bad.

"Can I help you?"

The lank-haired bulldog had his hand raised for another blow and was almost hit by the door as it swung open. Much of the crew was behind him, and to a man they seemed utterly shocked by the flippancy of Nathan's greeting.

Or maybe it was the fact he was wearing nothing but his boxers. Undoubtably the mob was impressed by the superman symbol proudly covering his crotch.

After a moment's uncomfortable pause the bulldog worked up the courage to speak. "We want you and your witch off the ship, boy."

"We've paid for a trip to Gallowgate. That's a..."

"A week," Maggie supplied.

"A week from here," Nathan finished. "And not even past the... the..."

"The-Everwinters?" J squeaked from inside the cabin.

"Yeah, those." Nathan shrugged. "I don't fancy walking a blind woman over a mountain range. Besides, you'd be breaking a... a..." Nathan looked toward Swalk "What's the word I'm looking for, captain?"

The captain had been scowling at the mob over his pipe as he leaned against the mast, clearly not a part of the crowd but just as clearly not a part of whatever was to follow. Nathan was gratified to see a twinkle of mirth in the old man's eyes. "A contract, lad. A contract." Swalk raised his pipe in a vague salute. "Bad business to break a contract."

"Indeed. So why don't we−"

"To hell with the contract," the bulldog hissed. "The contract was for transport of two, a wed couple. You are not wed, nor two but three, nor even people at all. We all saw the captain's face when you fetched her from that ship. It does not take a fool to guess what happened there." The little man seemed to draw strength from the crowd murmuring at his back. "We want you gone before either of you draw a curse on the ship."

Nathan hefted the small bag that he'd been palming at the pug's feet. It clinked audibly. "What if I pay extra?"

Maggie took his hand as the crowd muttered amongst themselves. You're handling this really well, I'm impressed. How did you get that?

With a guitar back at Tornic's inn. Now shush.

Wait, are you NAKED?!

Shush.

The little man's eyes glittered and he reached for the pouch, but another crewman yelled that it wasn't a matter of money. The rest took up the chorus, and Nathan's mind raced to think of something else. The bulldog, eyes on the pouch at his feet, had almost laid hand on it when Jabberwisp flitted past Nathan's ankles and snatched up the bag, darting back into the cabin with a barely audible "hmph."

Maggie raised a hand and the mob froze. Nathan wondered for a dull moment if she had cast a spell on them before he noticed she was showing them something. It was a small leather token not unlike a policeman's badge. Where the little shield would be there was a hand delicately worked in gold, fingers gently curled around but not actually touching a crowned skull.

"I am a senior of the Leiga Manus and I would commission this boat in the name of the guild. We will pay what you are owed and you may receive the services of a minor of our order if that is not enough." Maggie smiled in a way that Nathan was getting uncomfortably used to seeing. "You have spoken of business, and this is mine. I would advise you not to interfere."

This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.

The crowd muttered amongst themselves, visibly shaken.

The Leiga whatnow?

The League of the Hand. It's one of the premier guilds backed by the monarchy.

Assassins who kill with their bare hands?

That's where some of our money comes from, yes, but that's hardly all we do.

So when you say they'll receive 'services...'

They'll either be owed a favor by the guild or slaughtered by a trainee. I meant to imply both, after all. Guild policy. The hand isn't just a threat, it's an invitation too.

For what?

I'll tell you later. For now...Though Maggie's face was impassive Nathan could feel her smile. Shush.

The bulldog thrust his jaw forward and snarled. "You should have said that before coming aboard our ship. We could cut you to pieces and throw you to the fish and none would be the wiser for it."

"And you think the guild wouldn't miss a senior member?" Maggie retorted. "I can make you−"

"Enough."

Swalk's voice wasn't loud but it was pervasive: the ship seemed to shiver with it. He stepped through the mob and it parted around him, crewmen anxiously watching their captain as he strode towards his passengers. "My crew wants you off, girl, and sadly will not change their minds. Threatening them only makes it worse."

"If it's money you want, captain−"

"I've money enough, and I need neither favors nor threats from the guild. I am sorry, but a captain must abide by the final wishes of his crew. In the morning we will be passing a village. I'll take you ashore myself and return your money," he nodded to Nathan. "You must go."

The captain leaned forward and lowered his voice into a guttural whisper. "Girl, your man and the poor souls you saw to on that ship tell me enough that I can guess the rest, I warrant. If you are who I believe, it will be no matter for you to get to Gallowgate or indeed wherever you please. The only cost to you here is time."

Maggie bristled "Old man, if I wanted to I could−"

"We'll go."

Maggie's hand tightened before the words were halfway out of Nathan's mouth. Nathan, the army can't be more than a few days behind, and they'll catch us up in−

Maggie, he's right. You're just making things worse. You'll have to fool with their heads to get them to take us, and that I can't allow.

Allow, my ass.

Bag it. There are at least two other routes we can take that are, from what I understand, faster than going over the mountain. If we don't make it, fine. I can wait.

But I can't. I'm NOT letting you stay here any longer than you must.

We'll figure it out. It's an adventure. Now shush.

Nathan didn't need to look to know Maggie was rolling her eyes as he offered his hand to Swalk. "We understand, captain. All I ask is whatever food you can spare us, for the baby's sake."

Swalk shook his head. "At least leave the baby, boy. We'll see to her and get her to her people once we return to port."

"She's our responsibility, captain." Nathan said. "Our actions resulted in her parent's deaths. We owe them her care, and..." He cocked his head towards Maggie. "And I pity anyone that tries to cause her any more grief."

The captain smiled. "There's truth in that, to be sure. Good luck, Nathan."

"Well, this sucks."

"Ah, come on," Nathan cajoled. "At least the sun is out."

Swalk's rowboat was already a distant figure in the waves. The Terrapin herself wasn't much bigger from where they stood. Nathan was surprised to find that he actually missed it. There was something wonderful about the little ship, even considering what had happened aboard.

The village was little more than a muddy smear of ramshackle houses huddled between the shore and the road, and looming across the road was the bristling edge of the forest. The huts, so similar in their disrepair as to be identical, might have been made by the first two little pigs on an off day. The long tracks of boats dragged into the waves were everywhere, a small army of fishermen off to ply their trade. Feeble tendrils of smoke, the only signs of life in evidence, drifted up from the largest building, recognizable as an inn only by the smell of spirits wafting from inside.

"You know, I bet they wouldn't have kicked us off if the baby hadn't kept them up."

Said infant was nestled in a makeshift sling across Nathan's chest, her weight barely noticable. She peered up at him as though about to ask a question, burbling occasionally and gravely considering the finger Nathan offered her. "Give it a rest, Maggie, it isn't her fault. Hmmm... You know, we still need to name her."

"I-have-a-few-sugggestions-if-you-like-young-master!" J cheeped from Nathan's backpack.

Maggie shook her head. "What we need to do is figure out what we're going to do."

"We do?"

"Yes, ass, we do." Maggie shouldered her backpack and stalked towards the road, the hem of her robes already caked in mud. "I hate walking."

Why don't we stop at that tavern? We could buy a boat and−”

"There won't be anything better than a fishing rig, and you do not want to try sailing around the mountain range in a boat that small. We'd get eaten."

"We could buy horses−"

"Do you see any horses?!" Maggie hissed. "Stop trying to cheer me up, Nathan. This sucks." She turned and glared sightlessly at him "If we are going to beat the king's army we'll need to either go under the mountain or through the forest. Trust me, that will suck even more."

"You went through before, right?"

"I had help. I've never gone alone."

"Then we find a guide," Nathan grinned as roguishly as he knew how. "Come on, let's go to the tavern. I'll buy you a beer..."

Maggie muttered venomously under her breath but started walking.

"Nicely done, young master. Surely an opportunity will present itself inside."

Nathan checked to be sure Maggie was out of earshot. "No, she's right. This sucks. Fact is, I just wanted a beer."

They found a table near the fire pit in the center of the place Nathan had mistaken for an inn. It was actually a cleverly disguised pigpen with a bar where a trough ought to be, complete with a few shit-streaked pigs. Logs were piled high in the fire, and the merrily dancing flames were the only cheerful thing about the place; the few patrons were a rough lot, and several stared at Maggie as though she was a choice morsel. It took him a moment to realize he had moved to place himself between her and everyone else and that his hands were clenched, the edges of his sleeves smoking slightly.

"Nathan, I'm flattered, but you can chill out," Maggie whispered. "Getting through you would be the easiest part, tough guy."

The innkeeper waddled over, legs bowlegged around his massive gut, and dropped mugs and food on their table before tottering away. Nathan deeply regretted his desire for a beer, and after the first taste of the salted fish he decided to just ignore everything altogether.

"Scum and villainy, huh?" Nathan whispered, cupping a candle flame in his hand. "Maybe this time we'll find that dashing captain and hairy sidekick?"

"Shut up. You've had your beer, now can we go?"

"No, seriously. We might find a guide through the forest or the... the Reek."

"I doubt it. Nobody goes through the Reik if they can help it, and someone who can actually go into the Weymaerii for a living wouldn't be living in a sty like this. We should go."

Nathan smiled at Maggie. "Why so keen to leave? Nervous?"

"You're not the one getting eyed like a side of meat." Maggie sighed. "Glad you're here, or someone might make a move and I'd have to get ugly."

"They still might, I'm a spindly guy." Nathan stared at the fire for a moment and then noticed something peculiar. most of the logs seemed normal but there was one with a grain of rich, dark red, noticeable even in the ruddy light of the fire. It wasn’t burning. It were on fire, to be sure, but there wasn’t a trace of ash or charcoal.

"Maggie, this wood is weird."

She sat up. "What's weird about it?"

"It's on fire but it's not burning. Is that−"

Maggie was out of her seat and heading to the bartender in a flash. Nathan sat staring after her and then glanced down to the baby.

"Do me a favor. When you grow up, explain yourself before rushing off, okay?"

If she thought anything of that the infant didn't say, instead staring after Maggie. Nathan sighed and followed her gaze. Maggie was having what looked like a heated argument with a rapidly paling bartender, who eventually shuddered and pointed toward the mountains before turning away and tending to his glasses in a clear bid to ignore the aspect's apprentice. Maggie came back a moment later, her cheeks flushed with excitement. "We have to go."

"Yeah, you've been saying that. What did you say to him?"

Maggie shook her head. "Not important. Look, I've got a lead. That’s blood pine in the fire! The guy who cuts it is usually in another tavern not too far down the road. He's our best bet."

Nathan raised an eyebrow "What is blood pine? I heard someone shouting about it in Wyvern's Run."

"Everburning wood from the heart of the forest. There aren't more than a handful of people who can get it." Maggie grabbed her backpack and started pulling on Nathan's elbow. "Come on!"

The door creaked open and a man stalked into the inn, the scent of leaves and sweat hanging on him like a second skin. His hands were stained brown as his hair and Nathan found himself watching the man on instinct. The stranger exchanged a few words with the bartender and received a plate of cheese and bread, then made his way to an empty table.

"Here now..."

A drunk slurred awake and rose to stand in the man's path. "Japheth, what do ye think yer doin..."

Japheth's voice was coarse and low, a polite creak of branches not accustomed to moving. "Eating, once you get out of my way."

"Damned forest rat, what makes ye think ye can come in here−"

The rest of his words trailed into a grunt of pain as Japheth's fist sank into his ample gut.

With a rough shove Japheth toppled the drunkard out of his way, sat in the man's place and calmly started eating, his back to Nathan's table. When the drunkard started to get up a bottle tapped gently at his head.

"If I let you up," Japheth said around a mouthful of bread as he lightly pressed the bottle down. "... Will you go away?"

The drunkard nodded into the mud.

"Good." The bottle squelched as Japheth set it in the mud at the man's ear. "You didn’t finish this one. Off you go."

The drunkard stumbled to his feet and started away past Nathan's table before he noticed that Nathan was watching. He leaned down and put his stained face into Nathan's.

"You looking for trouble?"

Without turning away, Nathan leaned down and reached into the nearby fire, part of him marveling even as he did it, and plucked out a glowing ember. He popped in his mouth and chewed. It tasted terrible and Nathan spat it out on the floor, still sizzling.

"Nope," Nathan grinned with blackened teeth. "You?"

The drunkard vanished out the door.

"Nice," Maggie said appreciatively.

"Yeah," Nathan wiped his teeth. "Now if you don't mind, I think I found us that dashing captain."

"Oh?"

"Guy called him a forest rat. I'm guessing we might have found our guide."

Maggie took the baby from him and smiled. "I think you might be right. Knock yourself out."

Nathan badly wanted to laugh but reigned himself in. It wasn't every day he was cast as Ben Kenobi.