I have always hated contracts and and anything dealing with super powers tended to be extremely complicated. The contract Jake showed me was fifty pages of definitions alone. It used the most obscure language I had ever seen and was obviously designed to hide the fine print. I looked at the contract that would have filled a old phone book and back at Jake who looked embarrassed.

Jake tapped a screen and I saw a index and breakdown of the contract. Jake cursed “The lawyers make us use this contract. We have AI now that could do this a instant but the lawyers do not allow us to use them to create contracts. At least officially I have a lawyer on call they creates the contracts. If they use a computer programme to produce the contracts in a instant well I do not know that. ”

Jake looked at me “My point is this kid the contract is still 150 pages long because otherwise the lawyers might find fault. I know the the hurdles your going to face. With me helping you out you can avoid a lot of them. So let me help you pick out the area you want to own”

Jake looked at my options “Your first choice is out I know it has a lake but its near militia territory. You remove the poisons from the water they will be around armed with plasma rifles to suggest you help them clear their own land.

Second option is out as well the locals never vote for the right party who not give you a tax break.

The third choice is good no one with guns nearby and its next to a huge zone damaged by a super hero fight. We will get a sample of the contaminated water do some surveys to make sure most of the water is all miles underground or close to the surface where you can get to it and and we are all set.”

Jake grinned “Let me guess you wanted to be a super hero and save people from burning buildings right? Well if you ever look at those old movies or tv series you notice how the hero always shows up just in time. Do you think that happens in real life? The hero is going to walk down a dark alley and just happen to find the girl he likes being mugged? No real life is coming back to your home finding the girl you like hooking for pain medication on the street.

Lets get you rich and then if you want to help people you can on your own time.”

I nodded “I do not have the power to safely run into a burning building and save people. Lets get rich or at least lets get me a farm where I can hide out if another famine hits.”

I looked at the display “When are we talking off anyway?”

“Taking off we are half way there already. Its just the shit box as I call it does not have a view screen. Why bother? I had planned on buying a private jet one with vertical take off like this box. But I guess those plans will have to be scrapped.”

I looked at the index explaining the contract and the page after page of the contract. “I am not reading all of this I will pass it my my Granny.”

Jake snickered “Having your granny do your homework?”

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“No having her hire a lawyer with a AI to look over this. I would not trust any computer system you gave me to do it.”

Jake was silent for a moment and then tapped something on his arm and I found myself looking at the image of a road which seemed to have a lake put on top of it.

Jake snorted “It looks like they built a road and it ran under a lake does it not. I am going to fly you to a local spot nearby and drop off you with half of the flying shit brick. Its all modular but I will be taking the engines with me. Just keep the door closed because outside is a mess.”

I starred at the image again “How long do I have to stay there for?

“Hopefully a month if those rich idiots forget you were hired then you stay until they stop paying you. It happened one of my clients she was told stay there and I will be back. Well she stayed in the five star hotel for a year. She got paid for every hour as well. It was too bad the client realised what happened and cut her off. He even tried to sue. Can you imagine it suing a hooker? I mean sure he was not married but she sent a copy of what happened to his parents and the local church.”

Yawning I tapped a button and my chair had pillows which shot out. I leaned the chair back as far as I could and tried to get some sleep. Glancing at Jake I opened up my email and sent my granny a note asking her to hire a lawyer or buy a decent artificial intelligence programme. Then I tried to get some sleep. It was my first time flying and I was so tired I did not even bother to ask if the the screen could show the outside.

I woke with Jake tapping me on the head. “Food bag here with a phone. The phone has the usual digital wallet with a few thousand in it consider it out gift to you. Do not message your old friends until we have had time to set you up with a proper software defence system. Artificial intelligences are best. They can not be bribed and do not make mistakes. Honestly if it were not for the fact one Artificial intelligence can do the work of a thousand men they be running the world. The unions go berserk any time they are set to work.”

Yawning I nodded “I know I am young not stupid I got fired from my waiters job last year and was replaced with a oven. It could actually wait tables and cook food at the same time. You know it was a better chef than the chef. I ate there with a date and it made a exquisite tagliatelle pasta best I have ever had. One machine could run the restaurant twenty four hours a day seven days a week.”

Jake blinked “Wait that is illegal you have to a human over seer”

“Unless the overseer has a health condition in which case he just needs to check in by video link once every few hours.” Yawning again I reached for a packet of what looked like grey goo and looked at Jake “Grey goo this stuff will have you farting flames.” Jake tapped a control at his side and a screen appeared between us. “I am off” Nodding I plugged in the phone to make sure it was charged

I woke with a start from what sounded like a trumpet as Janet appeared on the viewing screen in front of me. “Get out of the flying toilet and do it now.” The trumpet sound went off again and I pulled a emergency release lever. Outside the rain seemed to be almost a solid curtain a gust of wind had a wave of water soaking my hand.

Janet screamed “There has been a mud slide now get out of the flying toilet.”

I jumped out of the box staying just long enough to grab the phone and stick it in my pocket. The rain soaked me in seconds as I headed to higher ground. Slipping in the mud I quickly reached the top of the hill.

A single flash of lightening showed me a scene of devastation. Below me the small lake that had been on the road had turned into a actual lake. I cursed Janet in my mind. The flying machine was on rocky soil well above the area a small landslide had blocked the road. There was no way that area was going to collapse. Looking up the contact names in the phone I dialled Janet trying to keep my body between the rain and the phone.

Janet voice came out quickly “Listen I made a mistake ” At that moment I felt like reaching through the ether and strangling Janet to death. I was cold wet and needed to use the toilet. I heard typing on the phone.

“Alright Jake module had the engines which means in the 80 miles a hour winds the module might be blown into the air”

I blinked and looked down as Janet kept talking you need to get out of there before a gust of wind lifts the whole toilet and you get crushed by a flying shit box