Eleven years old Kaelys was sitting on a cold bench, stiff. Through the locked door of the doctor’s office before her, she could hear snippets of the ongoing conversation between her mother and Miss Kelly.
Miss Kelly was a really nice woman in her mid-thirties, with a loving husband and two boys slightly younger than herself. For the past five years, the Doctor had been her best friend and confidant. She asked questions, Kaelys answered honestly, and the woman wrote down her notes before smiling and asking new questions. It was nice, for the young girl. No one talked to her that way, looking at her straight in the eyes and actually listening.
However, in the last few sessions, Miss Kelly had seemed bothered by something Kaelys said and had asked for a few tests to be made. The black-haired girl didn’t really remember everything—just that they took pictures of her brain or something of the sort, and she was growing rather worried about what exactly was going on. Miss Kelly had merely sent her a gentle smile, kind of twitching, before demanding to speak to her mother.
Alone.
‘Stop worrying so much. I’m sure it’s nothing’
‘Plus, you’re giving me a headache’
“I’m giving you a headache?” muttered incredulously Kaelys.
The girl didn’t really understand what she said wrong. If there was one thing to know about her, it was that she always told the truth, no matter the circumstances. She never truly understood the necessity of lies and secrets, so she never resorted to those means.
But she wasn’t too worried. After all, Miss Kelly was her best friend. She’d help her with whatever she found, the child had no doubt about it.
‘You shouldn’t trust that woman so much’
Before she could answer, the door finally opened. She jumped on her feet as her mother came out, but her smile instantly dropped. The beautiful blue eyes of her mother, usually sparkling with laughter, were red and puffy as if she had cried a lot.
“… Mom?”
“Come on, Kaelys. Let’s go home.”
Frowning a little, the child glanced at Miss Kelly, who was still in her office arranging some papers, apparently determined not to look her way.
“Well, that’s weird,” mumbled the little girl.
‘I must agree’
‘Now you’re seeing it!?’
“Kaelys!”
“R- right!”
The black-haired child ran to catch up with her mother, whose gaze was slightly hollow and glinting with some unshed tears.
Kaelys wasn’t stupid. Whatever Miss Kelly and her mother found out, it was bad.
“I’ve got a bad feeling about this,” she sighed quietly.
‘Same’
‘Ditto’
----------------------------------------
The rest of the day passed like a blur. Her mother became all cheery when they reached the house. She made spaghetti for supper, along with a chocolate cake, before both of them settled on the couch and watched movies until very late in the night. Kaelys knew her mother’s smile was faked but didn’t call her out on it.
When she woke up, though, it was only to find her mother closing the pink suitcase that the child normally used for big trips. Her mother brushed off all her questions, simply saying that they were going to see another Doctor, even though she wouldn’t say why.
‘Not suspicious at all, uh?’
“Mom,” Kaelys tried once more, her voice rather quiet as her mother drove them to God-knows-where. “Am… am I going to die?”
That seemed to snap the woman out of her daze, and the blonde’s tightly held lips broke in an apologizing smile.
“O- of course not, sweetheart,” she then assured. “I’m sorry for worrying you like that. But no, you’re not going to die. It’s just… you’re sick. Very much so. However, you’re going to get better. It might take a while, but I promise you will.”
“What could I have been diagnosed with that mom is afraid of telling?” wondered the child, pursuing her lips.
‘You’re crazy, that’s what’
‘Don’t say that!’
“I’m not crazy!” protested rather vehemently Kaelys.
Her mother shot her a look at her exclamation, but said nothing more and kept on driving, eyes stubbornly locked on the road ahead.
----------------------------------------
The place they stopped at was… odd, to say the least. It looked like an awful mix between a hospital and a prison. It was big, with a black fence three times her size surrounding it. As they stepped inside, the smell of antiseptics became so strong it made her dizzy.
“Wherever we are, I don’t like it,” stated quietly the young girl.
‘… same’
‘Agreed’
They were escorted to an office by a woman that reminded Kaelys of a nurse, before being invited inside by a man in his twenties, with brown hair and deep blue eyes. He offered them a gentle smile.
“Ah, Miss Cloves,” he greeted, shaking her mother’s hand. “I’m Doctor Shawn. I’ve been the one assigned to Kaelys. Oh, and you must be said Kaelys, right?”
She simply stared back at him, rather intimidated.
“He’s weird,” she muttered under her breath.
‘Creepy, yeah’
‘Really? He seems awfully nice, though…’
‘The best smiles always hide the worst secrets’
The two adults started talking, but the black-haired child wasn’t paying attention anymore, her eyes wandering across the room. After a few seconds, her gaze fell upon the nameplate on the desk.
Shawn Cruz
Certified Doctor of the Hanwell Asylum
Her heart quickened its pace as the words danced before her eyes.
“Asylum…?” Her throat tightened. “Asylum…!?”
‘… what?’
‘Run, damn it! Get out of here!’
Unable to think straight anymore, Kaelys didn’t even spare a glance to her mother and ran outside, slamming the door on her way out. Cries echoed behind her but she ignored them, focused on a single thought.
“Gotta get out of here,” she gritted her teeth.
‘Turn right!’
She did as told, dashing through what seemed to be a cafeteria, which was full of people. A few nurses tried to snatch her but the girl easily avoided their clutches as she ran faster toward the door, which was leading outside. However, as she placed her hand on the handle, a security guard grabbed her from behind and lifted her from the floor, pinning her arms to her body.
She started screaming and kicking as she was forcefully dragged away from her only chance of escape. Then, through her struggle, she faintly noticed pain flaring in her neck.
“No!”
Her voice died down, her vision blurred, and darkness took over.
----------------------------------------
When Kaelys woke up, she found herself in an unfamiliar room. Lying on a cold bed, she could make out the shapes of two chairs and a table next to her, a closed window and a smaller room, which she soon realized was a bathroom.
‘About damn time you woke up’
“What happened?” Her throat felt sore and her tongue was numb. “Wait… I’m… the asylum! Mom- mom left me in a- a fricking asylum!”
‘Breathe. You need to stay calm. If you want to get out, you have to find out why you’re here in the first place’
“But I’m not crazy…” Her eyes watered, but she blinked the tears back. “Crying won’t help. I’ve got to keep a clear head.”
With that, she sat on the uncomfortable bed, her vision fully coming back in the process. Then, she slowly got back on her feet. She swayed a little, still somewhat dizzy from whatever they had injected her with. Then, she headed for the door and twisted the handle, only for it to block midway.
Her eyes widened. “It’s locked!”
‘Those bastards! Their blood will spill as soon as we’re out of here!’
‘Calm down, both of you! Try the window’
Obeying, she, however, had to come to an understanding: the window was too small, blocked by a thick glass, meaning she couldn’t use it to get out.
“Guess I’ll be stuck here for a while,” she grunted, going to sit on one of the chairs.
----------------------------------------
After what seemed like hours, there was a ‘BUZZ’ and the door slid open, letting enter a familiar brown-haired man with a white coat. He closed the door before she could even think about running again, before taking the other chair with a smile.
“What’s his name?” she mumbled, staring as he took out a few files. “Ugh, I don’t remember…”
“I’m Doctor Shawn,” he said while setting a glass of water before her. “Are you thirsty?”
She held the glass before her eyes for a few seconds, eying its contents in suspicion.
“How can I be sure he’s not trying to drug me again?” the girl wondered, wary.
“I’m not,” assured the man, still smiling. “It’s just water.”
The girl shot him a look but, her thirst winning over her paranoia, she downed everything in one go. Apparently satisfied, the doctor took out a notepad.
“So, Kaelys…” He looked over one of the papers. “Do you know why you’re here?”
“I’m not crazy,” she instantly replied. “I’m totally fine. Let me go back!”
He shook his head at that as if talking to an insufferable child.
“You’re not fine, Kaelys,” he announced, his tone even. “But you will be. So, your mother left you in our care because you have been diagnosed with a certain case of schizophrenia—“
This book is hosted on another platform. Read the official version and support the author's work.
“The voices aren’t hallucinations!” she vehemently protested. “They’re real!”
“I know they are.”
At that, she faltered, hope blooming despite all in her heart.
‘Don’t trust him!’
“Y- you… you know…?”
“I know,” he repeated softly. “But these voices, in your head… they’re not good for you. So, we have to send them away.”
Her heart missed a beat and she recoiled instantly.
“Send them away?” she repeated, almost too quietly to be heard. “They can’t do this, they’re my friends… I’m not losing them! Not when they’re the only ones who never abandoned me… Now let me out of here!”
“I know you think they’re your friends, Kaelys.” His voice was soothing, but the girl couldn't be fooled anymore. “But they can’t stay, you understand? They make you ill, and—“
“I’m not ill! Just because you can’t hear them too doesn’t mean I’m crazy! And just because I’m eleven doesn’t mean I’m stupid either! Drop the mask! It’s just your job to treat me or whatever, so stop acting as if you actually care!”
“I do ca—“
“Shut up! Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!”
Her chair fell to the floor in a metallic ‘CLANG’ as she gripped her head in her hands, gritting her teeth. She stumbled, hit the wall with her back against which she let herself slid to the floor.
“My father killed himself after I was born… My only friend moved away five years ago… All my classmates judge me ‘cause I look different… Miss Kelly is the one who sent me here… My mother is the one who dumped me in this stupid place… The voices are the only ones who never left me!” She gripped her head tighter, her knees to her chest. “They’re the only ones who never abandoned me… I won’t let you take them away… I won’t let you, you hear me!?”
Doctor Shawn got up, tucking all the papers under his arms while staring at the girl, at lost at what to do. She was obviously more under the influence of her illness than they all thought, which worried him greatly.
“I won’t let them take you away…” she kept muttering under her breath. “I won’t let them… I won’t let them…”
He sighed, before opening the door.
“Food will be brought in soon. When you’re mentally apt to get out, you’ll be allowed to meet the other patients,” he announced.
But she was barely listening, shaking violently. He would have asked for another injection, but two doses in such a short amount of time would do more bad than good, even more so on such an unstable mind like hers.
“I’ll see you later, Kaelys. Try to get some rest.”
She let out a choked sound as he left, the door locking behind him.
“I’m not crazy… I’m not crazy… I’m not crazy…”
----------------------------------------
“How many voices do you hear?”
The child kept silent pursuing her lips.
‘You can tell him’
‘Don’t!’
“… two,” she gave in.
“And since when can you hear them?” pursued Doctor Shawn.
‘Shut it, brat! I mean it!’
‘Don’t be so mean!’
‘Just you wait, I’ll—“
“You’ll what? Give me a damn headache like usual?” the girl scoffed.
That caught the attention of the man, who looked up from his notes and eyed her with curiosity.
“Are they talking to you right now?” he asked gently.
She eyed him for a few seconds, suspicion glinting in her eyes.
“They don’t like him, and me neither.” She bit her lower lip. “Should I really talk to Dr. Whatever?”
“I’m Doctor Shawn.” He wrote something down. “Are you conscious that you’re saying what you think out loud?”
“What’s it to him anyway…” She, however, looked away. “I… It’s just too crowded inside. I can’t hear myself thinking unless I say it. That’s all.”
“And don’t you want it to stop?” the man softly inquired.
“Why would I?” she raised an eyebrow at that. “It’s not like I’ve got anything to hide. Lies and secrets… what good are they, in the end? I prefer not to bother with those things. They’re annoying.”
He simply hummed as only answer. Was it in agreement or simply to humor her, Kaelys would never really be able to say.
----------------------------------------
“Hey, do you wanna play with us?”
“Get lost.”
The boy, a second sooner all happy-go-lucky, started crying as if he was told he would never be able to eat chocolate again. He ran away with his ball and the girl stare with indifference for a moment, before returning to her book.
She had been allowed outside with the other patients of her age, for she hadn’t tried to run since that first time, and even got back her suitcase, which contained her two favorite books. She wasn’t agreeing to this life, far from it, but she couldn’t do anything at the moment, being so heavily monitored and watched by all.
As if on cue, the nurse who had been assigned to babysit her came closer, having heard and seen the exchange with the little boy.
“You don’t want to play with the others, Kaelys?”
“No.” The black-haired girl turned a page, her voice lowering. “The hell does she want with me? Can’t she see I’m busy?”
“You should be a little nicer, though,” remarked gently the nurse.
With a heavy sigh, the child put down her book as if it was the most tiring experience she ever had to suffer through, before locking eyes with the nurse.
“Why?” she then asked, rather coldly. “They’re not friends. They’re not family. I owe them nothing, and kindness is nothing but another sort of lie when you think about it. I don’t lie, miss, you ought to know that by now. They could die for all I care, and so could you.”
“R- right…”
Before the nurse could say anything more, though, the boy from sooner –whom, in the meantime, had found back his smile-, fell rather harshly to the ground and hit his head on a rock. He instantly stopped moving as blood slowly started tainting the grass underneath him.
There were cries and horrified exclamations as other nurses ran to him while the one assigned to Kaelys simply gasped.
“There.” Kaelys picked up her book and returned to her reading. “Dead”
----------------------------------------
In the end, the boy lived.
‘Thank God’
‘A shame’
“Whatever.”
A month had passed since her oh-so-dear mother had abandoned her in that asylum. The supervising had lessened somewhat, but she still couldn’t find the good opportunity to flee.
“And said mother is coming back today, uh?” she recalled, lying on her bed while twirling a strand of black hair between her fingers.
‘Break her’
“Oh, I will.”
----------------------------------------
“Kaelys!”
The woman hugged her tightly, but the daughter stayed unresponsive to the embrace. Worried, the mother pulled away and locked her eyes with Kaelys’.
The purple orbs stared back, void of any emotion.
“Ka—“
“I hate you.”
The blonde took a step back, gasping for air as if she just had been punched.
“Wh—“
“I hate you,” repeated the child. “You abandoned me. Just like everyone else, you turned your back to me. You left me here to have my only true friends taken away, and you have the guts to show up a month later as if you care?”
The woman placed a hand over her mouth, unable to answer the accusations, and Kaelys’ lips twisted in a snarl.
“Get out of here.” With that, she turned her back to her and headed for the door, her tone low once more. “I don’t know who she is. She’s not my mother. Mom would never have dumped me like some sort of burden like that woman did.”
Tears rolled down the blonde’s cheeks as her daughter left the room accompanied by a security guard and a nurse. Doctor Shawn entered as soon as the girl was away, and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, not knowing what to do or say to the distraught woman.
“We’ll… we’ll do the best we can,” he assured. “Her case… it seems worse than we thought. I’m afraid she’ll have to stay longer. But I’m sure she’ll be fine.”
“Just get her better,” the distressed mother hid her face in her hands. “Please, just bring me back my baby…"
----------------------------------------
Another month passed without much more results. The girl grew even more isolated if that was even possible, and her thoughts became darker.
She’s practically apathetic about human life.
Doctor Shawn shifted on his seat, gazing at the many papers lingering on his desk while feeling a headache forming.
The girl wasn’t heartless, even cried when a bird hit her window and died from the shock, but it would seem as if her morals had just… switched. Lack of emotional responsiveness was a common occurrence for victims of schizophrenia, but he never faced such a twisted case before, which made him restless.
From what he knew, the illness had been passed down for a few generations in her family by now. Her father had committed suicide after the voices became too “troublesome” for him, so there always had been a doubt that the child would inherit this unfortunate trait. However, her case hadn’t been helped for she had been revealed to suffer from Alexandria’s Genesis. The purple eyes that resulted from this genetic disorder lead her classmates to shun her away and, already having difficulties to relate to other kids her age, it only worsened her social inabilities.
She presented most of the symptoms of “normal” schizophrenia: the hallucinations, or voices, were obviously the main one. She also showed a serious social withdrawal, termed passivity, emotional difficulty, paranoia, difficult long-termed memory and was also convinced that she wasn’t ill. Those weren’t uncommon, thirty to fifty percent of the victims of schizophrenia refused to understand that they were ill.
What made her case so… different, was how she hold actual conversations with the two voices in her heads. He hadn’t encouraged a naming, for it would only strengthen the belief of their existence, but she didn’t seem bothered by it. There was also her habit of always saying what she’s thinking out loud as if no one could hear her. If she was aware that others could hear, she never showed she knew or cared about it.
Her morals hadn’t fully switched either, as he put it sooner. While she seemed passive about human deaths in general, she seemed rather distraught at the idea of the voices “dying”. From what he understood, it was because she considered them close friends. He proposed to the child a scenario in which her mother died, but it only earned a cold “too bad” for his efforts, which lead him to conclude that she would react like any other would if she ever lost someone precious to her but, seeing how her mother “abandoned her”, she lost her value in the girl’s eyes.
He bit his lower lip, gathering his things for the new session, before heading for her room. She hadn’t made a move to flee yet, noticing right away how heavily watched she was, but he wasn’t fooled. He knew she was just waiting.
That was another troubling thing. Sometimes, the girl acted like a child her age, minus the illness. Other times, she acted like a matured adult, strategizing with frightening accuracy. He played chess against her once, instantly noticing the shift in her personality as they started the game. She never spoke once, at that time, and won in four moves.
While those sides of her resembled each other, they were clearly different, which forced him to add “potential personality disorder” on her file.
For one so young to be so messed up… Can’t she see I just want to help her?
Shaking his head, Doctor Shawn finally reached her room. The door slid open and he entered, ready to deal with another hour of utter failure, and froze in place.
“Kaelys!”
The eleven-years-old was sitting against the wall, one of the chairs lying on the floor with glass shards, which more than probably came from the now broken window.
“Security!” He ran to her side. “Bring a medical kit, quick!”
Her wrists were open, blood pouring from the numerous cuts. She was still hanging to consciousness, though, her gaze unusually sharp. Right now, he knew he was facing the Adult Kaelys.
And that’s what scared him the most.
Crouching down to her level as a security guard brought the asked-for medical kit, he sent the man back after realizing her wounds weren’t life-threatening.
“Why… why did you do this?” it took the man a few seconds to realize he was the one who had spoken.
He started cleaning the blood, before bandaging her wrists.
“Because it hurts,” she then answered, her voice but a whisper. “It hurts to be alone. They’re my friends, but it’s not the same. So, when I hurt myself physically, my heart stops aching.”
She had stated this fact with the tone another would use while talking about the weather, which made his blood freeze in his veins. Then, he realized she was slowly drifting away to sleep.
“I love and I hate so much at once…” Her eyelids dropped, her voice now a breath. “How is it possible?”
Doctor Shawn didn’t have an answer.
----------------------------------------
Due to her little stunt, she was now restrained, chained down. All day and all night, she was trapped in leather bindings or a brand new straitjacket. She struggled, kicked, bit as they forced them on, in vain. She screeched and fought back, her strength slowly draining away with what was left of her sanity.
She never hurt other patients or employees, only herself, so why? Why did they shackle her like some sort of animal? Why did they treat her like a beast in a cage?
Her throat was sore, she screamed too much.
Yet she couldn’t find the will to stop.
----------------------------------------
They came in the morning when the sun was already shining high and bright. One would think the hell awaiting her would be preceded by some rain or dark clouds, but even the sky seemed to mock her misery.
“Where are they taking me?” Her voice slurred as she felt herself being tied to a chair. “Let me go… Why did they bring me here?”
“I’m sorry, Kaelys. It’s the only way.”
She still didn’t understand. She could do nothing as they put some weird helmet around her head, and they completely ignored her screams and her struggles. She was still cursing loudly when her voice suddenly died in her throat, unable to get out due to sheer mental exhaustion. Then, without warning, the doctors and nurses stepped aside and the machines surrounding her started wiring.
“W- what’s that?” she gasped, fear gripping her guts. “What’s hap—“
There a flash of light, a crackle of electricity, and pain suddenly overcame every inch of her body. Her nerves were set on fire as they shocked her again, and again, and again…
Kaelys was screaming once more.
----------------------------------------
Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, months turned into a year and said year soon became two. Now thirteen years old, Kaelys hadn’t changed that much, if not at all. While her body survived through torture and puberty –if there was a difference, she couldn’t tell-, her mental state was more unstable than ever.
The girl had had enough of this, though. She had bid her time, bit her tongue while waiting for the day to come, the day where she would take the freedom they had stolen from her two years ago.
“They think they’re helping me, but they’re not,” she clenched her fists, tied once more to her bed.
‘It won’t last any longer, though’
‘It is time’
“Yes…” Her fists unclenched. “It is time…”
Grabbing the scalpel she had stolen sooner from an unaware nurse, she easily cut through her bindings, along with some skin.
But she didn’t care.
Getting up, she was just in time to… greet, the nurse coming inside for the usual injections. Before the woman could even process that her patient had suddenly freed herself, Kaelys moved.
The body of the nurse hit the ground, blood spilling from the now slit throat as the teen started running without another glance behind.
----------------------------------------
Kaelys didn’t know how many she killed, didn’t care to remember either. She was solely focused on escaping the asylum. After what felt like an eternity, she reached the cafeteria and instantly made her way for the door. The scene was familiar, awfully so, as she placed her hand on the handle.
“Nothing will stop me now,” she seethed, passing through.
‘Behind you!’
Reacting to the warning in the span of a second, the black-haired girl blindly slashed the scalpel while spinning around to face the oncoming threat. There was a pained gasp as none other than Doctor Shawn fell to the floor, blood oozing from the new wound adorning his right eye.
“Why, Kaelys?” He clutched his face, red liquid slipping through his fingers. “You killed so many… and we only wanted to help you… Have you no regrets!?”
“It’s not my fault,” she replied in an even tone. “It’s yours. You’re the one who made me this way. I was perfectly fine before that woman dumped me here and you decided to go berserk on me. Trying to help, you said?”
She let out a dry laugh at that, and the man suddenly understood that the Adult Kaelys he was so scared of had taken over.
“You tortured me! For two long years, you hurt me, traumatized me! I know I’m messed up, but I was perfectly fine until you came in the picture! I’m not the one who killed all those people, you are! You’re the only one at fault!”
Her grip tightened on her scalpel, which blade was glinting under the sun with slowly coagulating blood.
“Congratulations, Doctor.” For a second, her purple orbs glinted with so much disgust and hate he felt like throwing up. “You created a monster.”
With that, without sparing another glance to his trembling form, she picked up the pace once more.
“Kaelys!!!”
She kept on running.