Mal, in a moment of silence that passed between them as they were telling their Death Tales, took stock of the situation.

Her day had started out like any other for Mal since her split with her ex and working at the club, and she ended up dead before it was done. She ended up back in the afterlife, surrounded by other angels, these with black wings, and another soul. Rida, her poor excuse of a guardian angel thus far in her existence, was smacked down, both by her and the angels. She found herself sitting in Gabriel’s office, with his charge. The soul that had been in her room with the other angels. Harry Potter.

To say she had been obsessed with the Harry Potter story when alive was putting it nicely. Now she wasn’t Ginny Weasley fangirl fanatic obsessive with the Boy-Who-Lived, but she was interested and did everything she could to find out more. It was a little surreal to be sitting with him on a plush couch, with a view of the cosmos beyond the window.

Course they were both dead, so that might have something to do with the feeling. She had to keep reminding herself this was real, this wasn’t a dream. While they felt no hunger here, they could feel tired and pain. That much she was aware of. She really hoped he didn’t notice her occasional pinching herself to make sure that she was in fact with him.

Sitting across from him was shocking enough, but then he’d held her in his arms. Multiple times, for a very long time. And they were sharing each other’s pasts with the other. It was a lot to take in, but she was managing it well she thought.

“So,” She smiled back at him only to find he was grinning expectantly. "A death for a death. My third dead wasn't anything as glamorous as magical exhaustion saving a loved one from Death's own creature.”

Harry snorted, but let her continue.

“As I said, Andrew was never in any of my other lives, I was alone in each life after the first one when it came to Lauren’s first marriage, then remarried to Arnold until the little blights that were my siblings were born.” Mal sighed. “I can glean from what you've said that your lives so far is that they picked up right before your death.”

He nodded in confirmation.

“Well,” She growled. “For some reason, Rida restarted my whole life from the beginning and did so with each life thereafter, and there was no Andrew, she never knew of an Andrew and accused me of making him up. You can imagine my reaction and I just gave up eventually. It wasn’t worth it to keep fighting with her. Anyway, after Freddy was forced to leave Lauren, she remarried Arnold, blah blah. I was three at the time. Due to Arnold’s abuse and focusing all of his attention to train me as Lauren hadn’t, Lauren grew jealous of his attention towards me, which in her mind, should have been on her. Lauren wanted Arnold all to herself, she told me this whenever he wasn’t home, and punish me for the attention he gave me. One night, she packed me up into the car and told me that she was going to start anew.

“It was the middle of the night, in the dead of winter. Lauren got me up, put me in the car, and drove off. At first, I was cheering, we were leaving “that scary” man mama wanted me to call Daddy, but I refused, and he hurt me for it. I was so happy. I was even in the front seat and not in the back in my booster seat. But the longer we were on the road, Lauren was quiet the whole time. Not even the radio was playing. There was a look of determination on her face that began to scare me. Soon my cheer fell into fear."

Mal sniffed and looked out the window. "We were driving for a few hours and we were on some backroad in a forest. Lauren stopped and looked at me. She said I was ruining everything, and if she was going to start over, and be worthy enough for the sect, for her family, for Arnold, then she needed to be rid of me. She opened the door, picked me up, and literally threw me out of the car and onto the dirty snow. She grinned at me, this insane grin as she slammed the door shut as I was struggling to get out of the snow bank and sped off again. I was left out in the cold.”

“At first I sat there, shivering as I cried and I cried.” Mal said as tears streamed down her face. “I tried to follow my mama home, but I was so tiny, and cold, and hungry. I got so tired, so cold, I fell into a little ball on a snowbank as fresh snow fell around me and cried and cried. Eventually, I passed out. When I woke up, I was with Rida. I wasn’t in her arms, I was on the floor, still cold, still three years old. She offered no comfort as Gabriel did for you. I didn’t want to go back, I cried and begged Rida to not send me back to those mean people who kept hurting me. Rida yelled and smacked me. I was forced to go back. No one was there yet to rebuke her, so she got her way no matter how much I fought.”

Mal hadn’t realized she was crying so hard till Harry sat forward and pulled her into his arms again. Holding her tightly as he began to rock her again as he had before.

“When I was facing the Dementors defending Sirius the first time, I felt cold, freezing, and everything the Dursley’s ever did to me was repeating over and over in my mind. The last thing I heard before I blacked out the first time was my mother crying, pleading with Voldemort to spare me before he killed her. She died screaming my name. The second time, it was worse. I was literally freezing. My fingertips were already breaking off as I tried to keep my grip on my wand. I didn't have the luxury of falling asleep as you did. I was very much awake till the bitter end. I could feel my body freezing, I could see the dark shadows circling before they encompassed me and dragged me down to the darkest coldest depths I’d ever experienced before waking up here again.”

She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him back, “I’m sorry you went through that.”

“I promise I won’t gloss over my deaths from here on. I will tell all.” He said kissing her head. “I’m sorry I lapsed into that again. It’s a habit. Or was.”

“I understand.” Mal said softly. “If anyone can, I’m that person.”

“I really want to rip Rida’s precious white wings off.” Harry growled seething with rage. “Then shove them up her arse for all she’s put you through!”

Mal pulled back and looked at him, “Careful, Rida might enjoy that.”

Harry pulled back as well with a quick shake of his head and gave her a shocked and confused look before shaking his head again to clear his mind before demanding in a somewhat shrilly voice, “What!?”

“Oh yes.” Mal nodded. “Don’t you know it’s always the quiet ones who are the kinkiest?”

Harry glared at her. “Rida is hardly a quiet one.”

“Point.” Mal conceded, “But backtracking a bit, but still on the same branch, some of the most devoted are into some kinky desires. Not that they would ever admit it.”

Harry shook his head with a grimace, “Fine then, down her throat it is.”

"Harry," He looked down at Mal's expression and did not like that raised eyebrow and smirk he saw on her face. Mal knew she shouldn't say this, but by God, she couldn't help it. "Haven't you ever heard of deep throating?"

Harry choked, and he wasn’t sure whether to scream in horror at the image of Rida liking being choked on her wings or bark with laughter. His reaction was a mix of the two.

“If you really want to punish Rida,” Mal said sounding like a teacher talking to her student. “Then perhaps after ripping them off, you should cut them up into itty bitty little pieces that would take days to put back together then cast Fiendfyre on them right before she goes to pick them up to do just that.”

Harry couldn’t help but grin at Mal. “Why, Ms. Mal, I do believe you’re going to be a bad influence on me.”

Mal fixed him with a look, “If you’re not already twisted, you’re a liar.”

“You’re not wrong.” Harry did laugh now. “But you’re opening up all new avenues for me. Things that will make Dumbledore cry and say I’m going dark.”

“And yet, you love that.” Mal said with a grin.

“Indeed,” Harry merely grinned back, “I do.”

“Expanding on our little timeout here,” Mal said as she looked at him curiously. “How powerful are you really? If you had your unlocked.”

Harry shrugged. “If Gabriel is to be believed, and I have no reason not to, I’m easily more powerful than Voldemort and Dumbledore combined. Which is probably why Dumbledore bound my core. So he wouldn’t have competition in the future. To put it in perspective, I’m pretty sure I’ve scared Gabriel a few times when my magic reacts here.”

Mal really wasn’t sure what to say to that, and it was clear to her that Harry wasn’t done explaining.

“My core was bound in every lifetime,” he explained. “Sometimes, more than once, and by more than just Dumbledore, so I was never allowed to reach my full potential as I was growing up. Which is why, in my adulthood, I only ever got weaker and weaker, because my body couldn’t adapt to the stronger magic, and as it died off, so did I.”

“Was Molly the other that bound your core?” Mal found herself asking through gritted teeth.

Harry nodded. "And Voldemort that night in the graveyard before we dueled. Which you can imagine how shocked he was that I was still able to beat him in our duel and get away. He was actually glad he bound my core after that because it meant that he would have a difficult fight, but ultimately, he would win."

“I have something to say,” She said softly, “and you may not like it.”

He shrugged. “I assure you, can’t be worse than anything else I’ve heard.”

Mal began to fidget again. "Well, you see, there are theories, that you're not the first person that Dumbledore did that too."

“Riddle.” He said softly.

She nodded. "It's a theory, and even in a lot of fanfictions, that Riddle, while still a bad person, was made into the Dark Lord that he was because of Dumbledore. Now he would have been a terrible person either way, but nowhere near the extent that he was if Dumbledore hadn’t done what he did. It’s speculated that he bound Riddle’s core, Imperiused him, wiped several of his memories of their “sessions” together, and more. Dumbledore was losing his power base, and he needed to defeat another Dark Lord to get more power and fame.”

“Sounds about right.” He sighed.

"Going further into that, one of the reasons that Riddle/ Voldemort is so powerful is because of the rituals he did to enhance his core. Which may have unlocked the blocks on his core that Dumbledore placed on him. It would only add to the many reasons why Riddle hates Dumbledore. Not that he would admit it.”

“Because it would be showing weakness.” Harry nodded in agreement.

“I can offer more insights about the reasons for the weakened core.” Mal said softly, Harry gave her a nod and she continued. “Well, if a person’s core is weak, they are more susceptible to mind magics, and potions along the same lines. I mean, Molly needed to make sure those love potions would work, as did Dumbledore, and with you being able to fight off the Imperious curse in your fourth year when Crouch Jr cast it on you, Voldemort needed to make sure you were weak as well.”

He sat there for a long time in silent contemplation. Everything she said, made a lot of sense. “It’s a sound theory, I’ll ask Gabriel about it.”

“And you trust Gabriel?” Mal asked nervously.

Harry nodded. “While he’s never lied to me, he has delivered news and answers I didn’t like. I hope it will be different this time around, but I do trust him.”

To stop herself from worrying about meeting the arch Angel Mal rested against Harry again. “Tell me about your fourth death?”

Realizing why she needed this, Harry grabbed at the distraction. Funny how the whole purpose of this conversation was now a distraction from bigger issues.

“My fourth and fifth deaths were during the Triwizard Tournament.” He said resting back and playing with the tips of her hair to keep himself calm, as these deaths were as annoying as they were infuriating. “I wasn’t quick enough during the first task, and was rather exhausted, from magical, mundane, or reasons I don’t know. But the result was the dragon’s tail spike through my stomach before being swallowed alive.”

Mal looked up at him mortified and he nodded as he continued without emotion. “I was alive when I hit the dragon’s stomach. The acids began to dissolve me rather quickly. I could literally feel myself melting.”

Mal stared at him abject horror as he continued. “According to Gabriel, I’d been in the stomach for a whole five minutes before I died. The whole while, everyone was panicking, trying to save me. By the time they got the dragon to regurgitate me ten minutes later, I was nothing but a puddle of goo and a pile of bones. Gabriel let me watch the scene, and I’m glad we don’t have stomachs here or I would have thrown up.

“Dumbledore fainted and landed on what was left me. I chuckled at that because it also meant that until they realized what was happening to him, the dragon’s stomach acid was also burning him, and the damage I hear is irreversible. All of his left side was eaten away till there was nothing but bone. At least on his face. His shock was because he believed so completely in the prophecy of its literal translation, and according to his infallible logic, I could only die by Voldemort’s hand. Well, there I was, quite obviously dead, and his belief was as melted as I was. His poor senile old mind couldn’t handle the reality shock.

“Hermione and Ginny were clinging to each other, crying over the loss of “their Harry” before they realized why the other was so upset and began fighting over which one was going to have me. At that moment it didn't matter whether I was alive or dead. What mattered was which one was going to be my wife, the next Lady Potter. It was all about establishing dominance over me and over the other.

“Ron was bawling and mumbling about the loss of the Potter wealth, how they, more specifically he, would never get it now because the stupid Goblins would claim it since I had no will and there were no more Potter heirs. He was right of course. Because of no living will, didn’t matter that Dumbledore was my magical guardian according to Gringotts. What mattered, was the Potters were now dead, and with no blood left, all the money and artifacts were now forfeit to Gringotts.”

“Wasn’t there anyone who would miss you for you!?” She demanded outraged. “Wasn’t there one person who would miss you, not for the “boy who lived” bullshit or your damn money!?”

Harry, surprised by the depth of her caring, found his answer very easily, and calmly. “ I would say Sirius, but we weren’t all that close then. He would have missed the son of his best friend, or because he’d seen me as my father more often than not, he would have mourned the second passing of his brother in all but blood. So, no.

“Due to the potions, and Ron, then Hermione chasing everyone away, I didn’t have very many friends, and no one ever really knew the real me. Hell, I barely know myself because of all of that. I wasn’t allowed to be my own person, much less make my own friends. I existed for Dumbledore’s and Molly’s plots alone.

“After coming here, I learned that Dumbledore, after we helped Sirius escaped used that guilt trip and later a lot of charms and potions to keep us apart, and Sirius’s mental and physical facilities to stay the way they were and slowly diminish over time. Molly helped him when Dumbledore wasn’t able to. Apparently, they were relieved and happy when he died. They needed me to rely on them, and Sirius was in the way.”

Mal collapsed into tears. “Why!? Why were we forced to suffer so much!? Between my abandonment and abuse, and you’re being controlled, manipulated, and abused! It’s almost too much to bear! Why!? What’s the point!?”

Harry held her close and sighed. "I don't have an answer to that, as I've wondered the same thing many, many, many times myself. When I did voice it, not even Gabriel had an answer for me."

Mal got up after a while and began to pace. “What about your fifth death, the one during the tournament.”

“Isn’t it your turn?” He chuckled a bit.

He expected her to smile and oblige him as she had thus far, but she didn’t. Instead, she whirled on him with so much anger he jumped as she glared and raised her voice. “I know! But I need this! I need you to tell me your other death so I can hopefully calm down and not want to kill some angels! I’m pretty sure that will get me a one-way ticket to Hell!”

She was scary right now, and he wondered if this was how Gabriel felt all of those times he scared the angel.

“I sent back right before the stabbing, this time adrenaline kicking in so I didn’t get stabbed by dragon’s tail. I succeeded. I made up with Ron, again loyalty potions. Flashforward to February, Ron was my hostage to save. I got him fine, Krum got Hermione, and Cedric got Cho, but Fleur never showed and time was running out. Gabrielle was still tethered down, and I could see the status spell was reversing. The merwomen were already torturing her, while the mermen I think were getting ready to rape her. Because of the Veela and Merpeople war from what I understand. I acted as quickly as I could. I sent Ron up and battle the merpeople off to save Gabrielle.”

“Did they,” She stopped, gagged, then looked back at him, “Did they . . .”

She could even finish her thoughts let alone her words, and she felt so ashamed.

Knowing what she meant, he shook his head. “She was cut up, but nothing had been penetrated by anything.”

Mal sniffed back tears. “Good. Though that doesn’t diminish the traumatizing experience Gabrielle had just endured and would likely suffer for greatly for many years.”

Harry looked at her for a long moment, she looked even more vulnerable than Gabrielle did that day in the lake. He held out his hand toward her and beckoned her forward. “Come here,” he asked softly. “Let me hold, and I’ll finish this death tale of mine.”

He was surprised and euphoric when her shoulder’s slumped and she curled up in his embrace willingly. Also, a bit eagerly if he wasn’t mistaken.

“On our way back to the surface, the gillyweed was wearing off, and due to Gabrielle bleeding as well as my own, the Grindylow’s were in hot pursuit and gaining fast. As the gillyweed wore off the slower I got.” Harry explained as calmly as he could.

“I knew we wouldn’t make it at the rate we were going, so I did the only thing I could think of. I cast a floatation charm on Gabrielle and cast Ascendio on her while I was stuck going at a slower pace. Shortly after she was at the surface, a grindylow smashed into my hand and wrapped its self around my hand. This had caused me to drop my wand, so I was unable to really fight them. The pack caught up then and began to drag me down. Thankfully, they prefer fresh kills, so I was drowned before they began to eat me. All I remember was fighting them, fighting for air, the burning." He touched his throat and chest to indicate his lungs. "Then it was like falling asleep."

There was no waiting, Mal immediately began to talk. Hearing how he died, with no one to care, no one to really miss him as a person broke her heart. “My next two deaths fell around Arnold’s molestation.”

Harry’s instinct was to growl, his hands balling into fists and he hugged her closer, rage coursing through him. Given what he already knew, what she’d already been through, he knew he was not going to like this. “Go on.”

“It was after the molestation.” Mal said rubbing her hand softly over one of his fists. “I went to Lauren. She scooped me up, I was sick, scared, and hurt, so I trusted my mother. Never occurred to me as she packed me into the car that she wasn’t supposed to be driving anymore, I just thought she was going to help me. I passed out almost as soon as we were out of the driveway, and when I came to, I was in a forest in the middle of a storm. I looked around, it was clear I had been dragged some ways away from the road. I’m not sure how, as my mother was very weak, but it was clear from my clothes I was. A fog had rolled in, and with my vision swimming, I couldn’t see the ground to find the trail to find the road. I picked a random direction and started walking. But like I mentioned, vision swimming, fog so thick you couldn’t see your hand in front of your face, I couldn’t see a thing. I was cold, sick, dizzy, and when I started falling, it took me a second to realize what was happening. By the time I realized it, it was too late. I hit the ground then woke up back here.

“Needless to say, Rida had me right back to my life, and I found once again found myself where the molestation began. This time I fought. I’m not exactly sure why, or what caused me to fight back this time. It was like I felt like some part of me knew what was going to happen and that it had happened before, and I was not going to let it happen again. Obviously, that was I came to realize when I returned here, at that moment, I just didn’t want that man touching me. So I fought back, and because I didn’t accept his adorations, Arnold strangled me.”

“I’m curious,” Harry said holding up a hand. “What exactly was Rida’s excuse for all of this? Why did she keep letting the molestation happen!? From what I’ve learned about angels, both from the manuals and Gabriel, such a thing is considered the gravest sin a person could make!”

“Rida said the drowning and suffocation were simply tragic mortal choices, everything else she blamed on me.” Mal said deadpanned. “Her words, and I quote, if I had never been such a wicked soul, that never would have happened. I was obviously touched by the Devil that tainted people and their desires to allow them to commit such vicious acts. I was the cause, and I must have wanted him to do that, because why else would it happen?”

Harry hugged her close, his legs on either side of her so she was surrounded by him, resting his cheek on her head. “Tarnok told me that Rida was responsible for all of your deaths.”

“I know.” Mal sniffed. “Rida told me.”

“Are all of your deaths so horrible?” He asked softly.

Mal shook her head, “My sixth and my last death were car accidents. My sixth death was a car accident on the way to prom.”

He lifted his head and looked at her confused. “Prom?”

She laughed, “It’s kind of like a Yule Ball but in the spring. The men wear suits, the women wear gowns. It's supposed to be a magical might.” She looked morosely at him. “But I never got to go, Rida sabotaged my chance, and made sure I didn’t go to it at all after.”

Harry went back to nuzzling her hair. He just barely caught himself from saying he’d make it up to her. But how in the world could he do that? He didn’t know what year Gabriel would be sending him back, and it wasn’t like she would be going with him, so it wasn’t like he could promise to take her to that blasted Yule Ball so she could have a magical night. He might actually enjoy the damn thing if she was on his companion for the night.

“So that’s two deaths plus one,” Mal said looking up at her. “But you only have to tell me one and then we can go back to taking turns.”

"No," he said with a shake of his head. "This is a two-parter, connected by one event like some of yours have been. So I’ll tell it one go, all I ask, is that you not react till it’s all over?”

Mal took a deep breath, he'd given her this courtesy. And if it was as bad as she suspected, he would need this.

“Okay.” She nodded and nestled into his embrace. Hoping, that he was drawing comfort from her being there.

He took a shaky breath as he nodded in thanks. “Much like you, I never went into detail about my deaths, as I’ve said before. For you, you weren’t given the chance, for me, it was choice. Not even Satan got me to talk about it. Gabriel and Satan tag teamed me and we had a drinking binge before I was sent back after these two deaths. Even sodding piss drunk, I still never talked about it. Then, life and time went on, and it was easier to push it aside rather than talk about it, let alone deal with it.”

“I thought as much.” Mal said softly. “Pretty much how I dealt with issues myself.”

Knowing he needed this, for certain now, she wrapped her arms around him and stayed silent and let him work out things for himself and tell his story in his own time as he did for her.

“It was the summer after fifth year, and Sirius was dead. I was once again imprisoned at the Dursley’s, cut off from the Wizarding World, no one was checking on me. I was being starved again, and I barely registered the beatings that were their show of affection. So you can imagine that the passing of days went unnoticed to me. Kreacher did answer my call once and brought me as much fire whiskey as I could pay for from what galleons I had left. Then like everyone else he vanished and left me alone.”

Harry sighed, gulping back unshed tears. “I was drunk, I had given up on living, on people. I had no desire to live, much less sacrifice myself on the altar for the magical world. Dumbledore wanted his precious weapon safe, but all he was succeeding in doing was killing me. One day, I'm not sure when during the summer, a cup of tea and a bowl of porridge was delivered via the cat flap that was on the door.

A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

“I was ravenous, so I devoured both greedily before going back and consuming more of my whiskey. Never once did I question that something was wrong. I ate it so quickly I never registered the taste. Course that could have also been because of the fire whiskey muddling up my tastes. So when I blacked out, I thought it was because I was sodding drunk again. There was nothing I could do to stop it, I didn’t want to stop it. Though I didn’t realize then I couldn’t have stopped it even if I had been in better health.

"In the black void that I realized wasn't a natural unconscious or even a drunken blackout. I thought in that state, that Voldemort and the Death Eaters, had found me. That they’d come to kidnap me to slowly kill me elsewhere like they did everyone else.”

“Is that what happened?” Mal asked fearfully. Pulling back so she could look up at him.

His face darkened by the weight of a terrible deed done, one she knew all too well.

“If only,” he whispered. “If only.”

Mal turned a little so she could capture his hands in her own and grip them tightly in comfort as he spoke. Watching his features as he did so.

“I drifted in and out of consciousness. As I did, a few things became clear. I was tied to a bed, I was painfully erect, and there was a naked woman bouncing on my erection. Even unconscious, I could feel the woman’s channel on me, not the tightness others in my dorms had described, but not lose either. In my later lives, I would come to learn that was the feeling of a woman after years of regular sex.”

Mal looked at him horrified. "Well, it's obvious that you were drugged, but who could have possibly have done that to you!?” She looked at him furiously. "Hermione!?"

He shook his head.

“Ginny!?” She growled.

He shook his head again.

“Cho?” She asked confused.

Harry shook his head again.

“Bellatrix!?” She asked scandalized.

He cracked a bit of a smile. “No, and if I’m being honest, I would have vastly preferred that crazy bitch. In retrospect, she was rather fetching for her age once you got beyond her insanity and obsession with Riddle.”

“I’m honestly at a loss then.” Mal said looking at him fearfully.

He sighed. “You’re missing one woman, one who has been there, nearly all of my life.”

Realization dawned on Mal. “No!”

Harry nodded grimly. “Petunia was positively gleeful when I woke up, calling me James, saying how much she missed him. How she had so desperately longed for him, how much she loved him. I say him because she was talking to my father, not me."

Mal nodded knowing what he meant but didn't dare say a word.

“She said they were together now, and she was going to give him a child, better than the one her sister gave him. They would finally be together, and they would finally be a family.”

He sounded so dead, and he looked so grave, Mal had tears running down her cheeks. “Where was Vernon, or Dudley? Didn’t someone notice?”

Harry shook his head. “Dudley and Vernon had gone away on one of their summer “fishing trips”. Actually, they went to a “spa”, that catered to some rather “happy endings”. If you catch my drift.”

Mal nodded again.

“Dudley boasted about it the summer before I went to the Quidditch World Cup. They guised it as a fishing trip, but Vernon apparently wanted to prove that Dudley was a real man.” Harry sighed. “So for four whole days, I was drugged and raped by Petunia. No matter how much I begged, no matter what I said to deter her and prove that I was not James, she never let up.”

Mal was shaking so bad she almost couldn't breathe, and she was grateful she didn't need to breathe in this place.

“On the morning of Dudley’s and Vernon’s arrival home, she released me. Dragged me to the shower humming sweetly in her own way. Promising as she washed me that she would leave Vernon for my father as soon as she confirmed she was pregnant with his child. I hadn’t even been aware she dragged me to the shower to wash off the scent of what they had just been up to off of me until the water ran cold.

“Finished and dressed, she stripped the bed and left me to myself. She opened the windows, sprayed air freshener in the bedroom. I wandered downstairs, unnoticed. As Petunia was covering up her crime, I wandered upstairs to the second bathroom, I locked the door behind me and sat in the tub. All the while still naked, and holding the sharpest knife the Dursley’s had.”

Harry stared ahead unseeing. “Without blinking, I slit my wrists up to my elbows before slitting my own throat. I suspect that magic was the only reason I was able to do that. Vernon and Dudley came home, I could hear them as I was bleeding out. I still hadn’t emerged, so they went up to fetch me to unpack for them. Blood was filling the tub as it spilled out of me, so they didn't suspect when they came to the door. When I didn't answer, they broke down the door, Dudley vomited, Vernon began yelling in jubilation, it was then that Petunia came in and saw the scene. Her screams of horror and anguish were the last things that I heard.”

Harry sniffed as he continued, unaware of Mal’s own tears streaming down her face. “Mortified by what happened, the heavens were speechless, all of the angels were unsure of what to think. Gabriel was unsure of how to react, as was Michael, but Satan did. He tried to seize control of my soul. I later learned it wasn't to punish me as many had feared but to recruit me. but Satan was denied by Michael, and I was sent back to the mortal realm."

One death down, Mal thought not breathing anymore, one more to go.

"I woke in the bathroom, holding the knife, just before my suicide. This time, I didn't go through with it. I put the knife back in the kitchen, dressed, and curled up in bed. I blacked out. Later on, I woke to the sound of a shotgun getting ready to fire. When I opened my eyes, I saw Vernon holding one, and fired. He figured out what had happened and blamed me for it.”

Mal was shaking in abject horror. When Harry looked at her, she saw the fear in his eyes. It wasn't the rape that had him looking at her in that way, she knew that. It was his suicide that he worried about her reaction too. She wasn't sure how she knew it. May have been because she herself was a victim of sexual abuse, and he knew she would understand being made helpless and forced to submit to an act that you couldn’t stomach. May have been the power of Purgatory that let her know. May have been something else entirely. In any case, she knew what was wrong, and she knew what she needed to do.

She carefully turned and wrapped her arms and legs around him gently. “I thought about it.” She whispered softly in his ear as her chin rested on his shoulder. “I thought about it so many times. I had access to guns, knives, poisons. So many times, I had a weapon in my hand, but I could never go through with it. I was too scared. I envied those that could free themselves. I don't hate you, Harry. I would have reacted in the exact same manner if I had endured that situation.”

Harry broke down crying. Wrapping his arms around her waist and crying into her chest. He was relieved that she didn’t hate him, think badly of him for his cowardice, and was relieved that it was finally spoken of and off his chest. He knew a vast amount of this purging was because he was finally starting to believe that he was okay, and it didn't make him less of a man. Hearing it from someone else, another mortal soul, actually had him accepting it a lot easier.

Damn angels for being right. Gabriel, Michael, even Satan said if he couldn’t talk to them, he should talk to a mortal soul who had experienced a situation similar to his own.

He knew that no one in Heaven, or at least, no one who mattered here, held him in any way responsible for what happened. Michael flat out said, souls who took their own lives after a terrible event like that, or freed their souls from their bodies because there was literally no other way to escape that terrible fate they didn’t deserve, were not held accountable, but rather given a new life, and had to make the best of their situations.

Now souls who committed suicide to escape punishment for their sins was a different matter entirely.

Mal held him tightly as he had her before, running her fingers through his hair, massaging his scalp, and making comforting noises. There was so much more she wanted to say, but in the end, she knew he needed this purge more. And she had said all that she needed to. By telling him her own experiences, she had acknowledged his own pain, but telling him he wasn’t the only one, it allowed him to let go of his own self-loathing at his actions.

Even if he already knew about all that, she knew he needed to hear it anyway,

She already knew that he was well aware of the rape and Vernon's murderous actions weren't his fault. She was sure the angels had made him very aware of that fact in the time that had passed between now and then. He’d obviously dealt with a lot of it in his own mind. It was the fact that he had committed suicide because of it that got to Harry.

Mal knew all too well, there were just somethings that a person could not work out on their own. Which is why she never talked about her problems when alive. She buried them so deep, at times, she forgot about them. In her last life, she was so focused on living day to day, that she often forgot about the circumstances that led her to that point until she had to deal with them.

When Harry finished crying himself out, he pulled back and rested against the couch, allowing Mal to untangle herself from him and sit beside him again.

“Stupid angels always being right.” He muttered laying his head in her lap so he could look up at her and still be close to her. “They told me over and over talking about it would help.”

Mal chuckled softly. “At least you feel better now.”

“You seem a little too cheerful.” He muttered glaring at her with his bloodshot eyes.

The smile he got in return, honestly scared him more than Bellatrix ever had.

“Oh,” She said sweetly, “I’m just thinking of the best ways to kill them is all.”

Damn, she even sounds scarier than Bellatrix. Harry thought. “And exactly, what is the best way?”

Harry realized his grave mistake is asking as her grin grew wicked followed by a wicked laugh that would put both Bellatrix, and that Disney villain Maleficent to shame. He honestly thought Voldemort would be envious of the way she was reacting.

“First,” Mal said in a greedy voice, “I will skin them alive and use magic to keep them alive in that state. Then, I will rub salt, and lemon juice, and anything else that will sting! I will do it over and over for days till I grow tired of it. And the worse is yet to come.”

Harry gulped, “What’s worse than being skinned alive and enduring all of that?”

Had he thought she looked scary before, he had been wrong, so wrong. The look she gave him now was just downright horrifying.

“Did you know,” she asked in that scary sweet tone again that could make Bellatrix cry. “That male cats have barbed penises?”

He stared up at her from his head's place in her lap, "Uh, no. I did not, and honestly, that was a tidbit of knowledge I could have done without."

“I saw it in a tv show.” She said with a shrug as she carried on. “I also found this video once, it was a clip of this anime that I have no idea what it was. But the clip had what appeared to be a gang, bringing a rather good-looking young man to their leader. A giant of a man, at least as big as Hagrid. The boss then raped the young man behind a curtain while the gang stood guard trying not to look horrified, or show any emotion at all. The young man died of blood loss and being split in half.”

Harry looked mortified as Mal laughed wickedly.

“Oh yes,” Mal laughed more, “That is what I plan on doing to them.”

“Isn’t that a bit harsh?” He asked, not at all afraid that his voice squeaked a little.

Her evil grin turned into a dark glare. “An obsessed pedophile rapist and their supporter deserve far worse. The fact that they hurt you so much, just ensured their end should be painful, bloody, and humiliating. What’s more humiliating for a man, a professed straight womanizing man, to be raped himself, especially after covering one up!?”

“I’m not saying you’re wrong. I’m very biased when it comes to the Dursley’s, but could you actually go through with it?” He asked softly. “Especially knowing how close you came to being raped, and my actually being raped?”

Mal sighed and sat back with a pout. "Probably not, but I would be thinking it."

He couldn’t help but chuckle and raise a hand to stroke her cheek. “If it helps, I’ve envisioned a fiery death for them many times over.”

“It does. Actually, that's actually one of the worst ways to die. Burning alive, I think it's fitting they burn considering that's what they want to be done to all magicals and would do if given the chance.” She said stroking his hair. “Sorry for talking about rape right after you told me about yours.”

He shrugged. “You told me you were molested basically in every life and I still talked about my experience. It’s what we endured, and wanting others to know of the pain they caused us isn’t wrong to want.”

“True.” She smiled brightly at him. “You also can’t tell me you didn’t think about feeding my mother and Arnold to the dragon or thrown in the lake to be drowned and eaten by Grindylow’s.”

He shrugged. “I was actually thinking something along the lines of Fluffy. But you’re right, the dragon and Grindylow’s would have a lot more teeth, blood, and pain.”

She smiled fondly at him and kept running her fingers through his hair, more than a little jealous at its softness. He didn’t appear to be leaving her lap anytime soon, and she honestly didn’t have a single complaint about that. “I suppose, given the horrifying nature of the last two deaths, I could give you the last of mine.”

“If you want.” He said looking up at her.

"Maybe," she sighed, "because the sixth death was so quick and relatively painless, having been hit head-on by a semi, my next two weren't so easy. My seventh death saw me brought out by my cousin to her family's lakeside property that they used as a summer home. I used to go there all the time with them as a little kid, so I just thought we would be hanging out. However, when we got there, my cousin went to another room and came back with a gun and held it in front of me. I laughed a little, and that’s when she fired at the ceiling before pointing the gun at me again. Realizing she wasn’t joking had me doing as she told me. She forced me to the edge of the dock by the still frozen lake, ice thick enough to support ice skaters. She ordered me to strip, I refused. She then shot me in the leg. I complied after that. She locked an anchor to my ankle while holding the gun to my head. I was panicking after being shot and in shock and couldn’t fight her back at all. No one was around as it was the winter season, so no one was there to help me.”

Harry sighed and shook his head. That seemed to be the pattern for all of her deaths. No one was there, or no one was willing to help her. At least in his case, some of the time there were people around who could help, they were just slow or reluctant.

“I asked my cousin why? Why was she doing this? You know like people do in those situations, never really expecting an answer, but I got one.”

When Mal fell silent, Harry cupped her cheek and caressed it with his thumb. “And that was?”

"Turns out," Mal cleared her throat, "Rebecca's, that was my cousin, boyfriend had dumped her, saying she was only good for sex but wasn't really all that pretty. Since his parents wanted him to marry straight out of high school, like most parents did in the sect, he wanted a pretty wife, who was good in bed and give him many children. There was a whole long list of other things that Rebecca rattled off, but I stopped listening after that. What it boiled down to, was I was prettier than she was to him, and I was perfect for what his family wanted for him. Turns out, he dumped her so he could start courting me. He was working up to asking me out so he could ask me to marry him that spring at Prom.”

“Is that the same guy who asked you to Prom in the last life?” Harry asked.

“Yup.” Mal nodded. “Having answered my question, Rebecca kicked the anchor off the dock and I was dragged down with it. The anchor made a hole in the ice as it was dropped, and I fell through it. The water was freezing and I felt like I was being stabbed all over till I went numb. Even if I managed to get the cuff off my ankle, the hole I was dragged down through began to freeze over again. I don’t know if I would have been able to break it. Soon I blacked out and drowned.”

Harry was surprised to see there were no tears this time. He wondered if she’d cried herself out over her lives, then his own.

“My eighth death happened on my wedding day, to said prom date, though we decided not to go at the last minute because of my cousin’s jealousy and hostility towards me. Instead, we went out on our first date, that turned into many dates. When he asked to marry me, I said yes.” Mal shook her head as she sighed. “Only I never got to walk down the aisle. My sister Agatha, who was supposed to be helping me prep slit my throat. When I came back here, Rida’s excuse for this death was Agatha was better suited to the groom. A perfect broodmare, which is what the groom needed. I was supposed to be a pure soul like Rida. Or so she claimed.” Mal took a deep breath and smiled down at him. “And that leads us to my final death, another car accident.” She looked confused. “Though I’m not exactly sure what caused it. I know it was something with my breaks, but that’s about it.”

"Your ex-husband cut your brake lines." Harry growled. "So he wouldn’t have to go through with the divorce and pay you alimony. Another reason was so he could lay claim to all that you had.” He shrugged at Mal’s shocked expression. “At least that’s what Tarnok said.”

Mal started laughing. “Wouldn’t have worked.” She eventually sighed. “Everything was still controlled by Club. I hadn’t been there long enough to get my own account. I could use my debit card all the time, but if I wanted to pull out money even if it was just a dollar, I had to show my ID and report how much it was back to the club and for why.”

“That sounds harsh.” He mused.

“The club had a very strict policy.” Mal patted his head. “Which I agree with. Given how it used to be a cesspool for illegal activity for drugs and prostitutes. Ethan rearranged things so the women would not whore themselves out or get drugs. Which is why he had the money set up the way he did, so they couldn’t, and if they did, they violated the contract. There was also random drug screening thrown in to ferret out drug users in case someone found a way around the finical thing of it.

“A lot of us had no homes of our own, no vehicles, so the club provided for both, and the rent and utilities were auto deducted out of our accounts. If we went into the negatives, we worked it off at the club to make up for it. You had to be at the club for five years to get your own account and the apartment in your name. Because it proved you were a good person and could take care of yourself. But if you do anything illegal, it’s all taken away and you’re left out on the street.”

“It was for their protection.” Harry surmised.

“Both for Ethan as well as the women.” Mal nodded. "Like I said, a lot of them were like me. Abandoned, no place willing to hire them for various reasons. Ethan would figure out what they were good at and give them a job. At least working for him was legal and we had medical insurance from the get-go. So we had to sign a contract that stated our spending would be monitored for five years, but as long as we weren’t doing anything illegal there was nothing to worry about. Because we weren’t close to anyone, no one outside of the club really knew the extent of control the club had.”

“Ethan sounded like a great guy.” Harry said, a little worried.

“He was.” Mal agreed softly. “Among the best I’d ever known in my lives. I just wasn’t as interested in him the way he was with me.”

Harry sat up and met her eyes, “Really?”

Mal nodded. “After what my ex did to me, and no, it was a different man this time around. The former groom went after Agatha in the next life as Rida had intended. Anyway, after what my ex did, it was as if my heart had frozen over when it came to romance. I honestly believed I would never love again, or that it would ever unfreeze. Then I came here, and I was proven wrong.”

He knew if he’d been alive his heart would be pounding in his chest right now, but he decided for both of their sakes, at least for this moment, he wouldn’t comment about what she said there at the end. She looked mortified by her slip, so he knew it was words of the heart coming out before the mind was ready to engage with them.

“What’s your ex’s name? You’ve never said it.” Harry asked curiously.

Mal pouted with a sigh. “It’s a rather ridiculous name, and I have no idea why I ever loved him.”

“The heart is a funny thing.” Harry shrugged. “You also have to remember, I’ve been around people with ridiculous names all of my life.” He pointed out and began to list them off, “Dudley, Ronald Billius Weasley, Albus too many middle names Dumbledore, Severus Snape, Voldemort.”

“True.” Mal bobbed her head before sighing. “Aaron Augustus Anderson.”

Harry broke out laughing. “Seriously!?”

Mal nodded. “He hated the name Aaron, there too many in the sect for his liking. So he abbreviated his middle name to August and went by that. Course all of the ladies got to call him Auggie."

Still laughing Harry shook his head and wiped the wetness from his eyes. “Well now, for my final two deaths.”

Mal nodded with a smile and sat back.

He grinned at her as he spoke. "My eighth, and ninth death, I guess you could say I died from old age and complications due to being on too many potions for all of my life. But my eighth life followed that of the story you're most familiar with, the canon verse.” Mal nodded understanding so he continued. “What wasn’t shown, what wasn’t known, was the truth of my later years. As I’m sure you’ve surmised, I was love potioned the entire time to Ginny Weasley, by that time Ginny Potter. However, these love potions brewed by the Weasley women, namely Molly because Ginny was terrible at potions, degraded one’s mental capabilities as the years went on.”

“Which explains Arthur’s one-track mind when it came to muggles and his lack of any real original thought and ambition.” Mal said with a nod. “I had wondered why he never put Molly in her place and why she seemed to rule the household and was so outspoken in a society of men.”

Harry nodded, glad she was understanding this and he didn’t need to explain too much.

“Well, Ginny was not the potions mistress her mother was as I stated, so while Arthur’s wasn’t noticeable or that bad, mine was. Later on, Molly and Arthur died when a rogue Pureblood Supremacist attacked on the anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts. After that, Ginny had to rely on her own skills at the potion to keep me in love with her when her mother’s potions ran out.

“My mind degraded fast over the years that followed. It got to the point I could no longer perform sexually, that was the first thing to go. Then I couldn’t work because I couldn’t think straight and I was just hurting myself, not to mention others. The last thing that went was my emotions. I could no longer show even the most basic of emotions. In that order. Course, even before that point, Ginny had been having affairs. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew all along. Though I will give her this, she did make sure that all of our children were biologically mine."

“Did anyone ever realize?” Mal asked softly. “Did they even know what they would be looking for?”

“Albus did eventually figure it out,” Harry nodded. “But by the time he could do anything about it, it was too late.” He sighed. “This was also the first life that was completely restarted. All of my deaths up before that started just before my last death. The ninth was also a complete restart.”

Mal shrugged. “All of my lives were complete start overs as I said, so it doesn’t surprise me that a couple of yours were.”

“And the molestation?” He asked in a dark tone not looking at her.

“Happened every time.” Mal confirmed softly. “Though at this point, it seems like a bad nightmare rather than something that actually happened to me.”

Harry turned back and grinned at her. “Purgatory has that way. It happened, but when we’re here, it’s like our lives were dreams, or some other person because we didn’t carry our true selves into that life. Which is why after talking it through, it’s easy to let go.”

“Makes sense.” Mal nodded. “How can we move onto a different life if we’re still burdened by what happened in another? Even if we don’t actively remember it, our soul does.”

Harry nodded. “That I believe is why so many people are depressed or actively trying to find something better, something they’ve lost in certain lives. They aren’t being allowed the processing time. Some of the angels here aren’t doing their job right.”

Mal sighed and shook her head. “Even in the afterlife people are getting lazy and not doing their work.”

Harry nodded, unable to disagree with that statement as Gabriel had worried about the same thing during their drinking binge.

“Was the canon life bad?” Mal finally asked softly.

Harry shrugged, “Being love and loyalty potioned since the age of eleven really put a damper on things, but overall, compared to the others no. I wasn’t allowed a chance to really become myself, or know things for myself. I was controlled by others. Sure, some part of me knew it was wrong and tried to fight, but when it starts at a young age, there's really nothing that can be done because you don't have the skills to fight it yet.

“I learned after my death that Ginny was an obsessed fangirl who only saw me as an object to have a better life. Having grown up poor, she wanted to be rich. Just like her mother. Just like Ron. Before, she thought it would be like a fairytale, and I would sweep her off her feet. She thought that's what would happen after I rescued her from the chamber. When I didn't and began to take interest in other girls, never her, she vowed that she would make me hers someday and ruin me so no other witch could ever have me of my fortune which the Weasley family so rightly deserved.”

Mal sighed morosely. That’s pretty much what she thought was the case.

“She and the rest of the Weasley’s, that’s not including Bill, Charlie, and George as they were all decent chaps, Arthur was never aware of the plots, all drained the Potter wealth.” Harry shook his head. “James and Lily grew to hate me, and followed in their mother’s example.”

“What about Albus?” Mal asked. “You said before he figured it out, and it seems to me now that he’s the only good one of the bunch.”

Harry nodded. “He was the only good one. He proved as gay as his namesake and found happiness with Scorpius. Albus was the only child who didn't actively hate me and tried to save me." He sighed. "He was put down for being a Slytherin till I pointed out it was okay, but whether it was because he was gay, or because he was going to ruin Ginny's plans, I never knew, but Albus was banished from both the Potter and the Weasley families. While they could disown him in the Weasley family, only I as the head of House Potter could disown him, which I didn’t. I refused. It was among the last emotions I had. I refused to do that to my son.”

“I take it Gabriel filled you in what you didn’t know after you died and came back here?” Mal asked him.

Harry nodded, “That’s the way it always goes.”

“Did the Cursed Child happen too?” She couldn’t help but ask.

Harry gave her a puzzled look, “What?”

“Well I’ve never read the book, actually, it was a screenplay I think,” Mal explained. “But it was something about Delphini, Voldemort’s and Bellatrix’s daughter, trying to turn Albus and Scorpius evil. Actually, she was using them to go back in time to save her father or something I think.”

Harry, wide-eyed, shook his head slowly.

“Okay, no Cursed Child.” Mal muttered. “Got it. So much for the rising Dark Lady.”

“Oh, my ninth life had a Dark Lady we were all unaware of.” Harry assured her.

Mal looked at him shocked. After everything that happened, and his canon life, who could possibly be the Dark Lady. “Who?”

“Hermione.” Was all Harry said.

Mal also answered with one word. "Explain."

So Harry did. He told her all about the life he just went through with Hermione. How she knew about the potions and used them to her advantage. How she made him sterile, slaughtered the Weasley family and used a broken Arthur to sire children, forcing Harry and the world to believe that they were his.

At the end of his story, Harry sat back and Mal was staring at him with wide-eyed fury. Ginny, she could understand, she'd never liked Ginny. But the fanfictions that paired Harry with Hermione, she could see it. She could support it, because Hermione was always there for Harry, even if she was a know it all and bossy. The books had her mellowing out because of Harry’s love for her and her for him. One even hinted that it was because of the constant obliviating of muggles and muggleborns when they performed accidental magic that was to blame for “know it all” condition.

Now she could see that Hermione was as manipulative and even more controlling that Dumbledore. She kept Harry stupid so he would need her and always rely on her, as other fanfictions who put Hermione down did.

There wasn’t one girl who truly loved Harry for just him? He wasn’t even offered the chance to be himself!?

Seething in rage, Mal stood up, walked to the spot where Harry had punched a hole in the wall earlier. She cupped her hands together on her stomach, focusing intently until a large ball of pure light filled them. With all of her might, she threw her arm back and tossed the ball of light at the wall screaming in outrage.

Four offices, six screening rooms later, the ball finally dissolved, and many scared or concerned looking faces peered through the hole at her till they closed up again. None of them said anything or went in pursuit of her for the interruption. One look at her face and they decided it was best if they stay away. Plus, she was in Gabriel’s office. If there was a problem, he would deal with her.

"Bloody Hell!" Harry yelled hysterically. Jumping up and staring at her in shock. "How long could you do that!?"

“I figured it out after my sixth life. I created this light.” Mal said raising her hand and light began to circle her fingers. “Rida was so proud, further “proof” her plans for me were meant to be. As she was promoted for her power and purity, so too would I be.”

“No.” Harry said astonished as he closed his own hand over hers, the light increasing. “That’s magic.”

“Wait,” Mal looked up at him in shock. "What?”

He nodded grinning at her. “Souls are what contains a person’s magical core, not the fleshy vessel. If you were alive on a world that had little to no magic coursing through it, it was no wonder it took so long for your afterlife to manifest it.”

"Rida argued it meant I was meant to be a white-winged angel like her. Pure." Mal said looking at skeptically. "Isn't what angels have, magic?"

“Not exactly.” Harry corrected. “Theirs is more of a divine grace bestowed by God. Some do wield magic having come from worlds that have magic. But no,” He looked down at their hands still encased in light. “This is magic Mal.”

“Can you do that?” She asked softly.

“Yes,” He says, and raises his other hand and shows her a ball of light about the size of the one she created.

“How do you know so much?”

He laughed. “I read the manuals remember?”

“I should read those sometime.” She mused softly.

As she turned to look at them, she swayed and would have fallen to the floor had Harry not caught her.

“I’m pretty exhausted too.” Harry yawned. “But I understand why you’re more so. You’ve never rested before. I’m amazed you’ve managed to stay awake this long.”

Mal, unable to say anything, pointed to where the couch should have been. Harry followed her direction and saw a large comfortable looking bed.

“Did you do that?” She whispered.

He shook his head. “Not ruddy likely. Only Gabriel can make permanent changes to his office, hence why the holes reform.”

Mal chuckled weakly. “I think your angel is telling us to shut up and go to bed.”

“We’re adults, we don’t have to.” He pouted.

“Being an adult is being mature enough to admit when you need sleep.” Mal smiled at him.

Harry returned her smile at first, then picked her up and carried her princess style to the bed. Mal tried to not let on how happy that made her. It made her want to giggle like she was a little girl again. As they took off their coats, and in Harry’s case his shoes, they curled up under the blanket.

“May I hold you as we sleep?” He asked softly. “For some reason, I don’t want to let you go.”

Giving in to the desire, Mal turned and kissed his cheek, sending a tingle down both of their spines, "I want that too."

With a relieved sigh, Harry laid down, and Mal curled up in front of him. His arms wrapped around him as he played the big spoon.

For the first time, Harry found himself enjoying a woman as she slept. The fact that it was Mal made it all the better in his mind and heart. Ginny and Hermione had made him hold them this way all the time. He never liked it, it felt wrong, but holding Mal like this, it felt right. His body wrapped protectively around hers as if they had done this a thousand times. Her bottom pressed against his crotch, he briefly thought, not for the first time, that if he had been allowed erections in the afterlife, Mal would definitely cause him some issues. Though when it came to Mal, he was rather adamant “that”, would never be an issue.

For Mal, the sexual angle did not go unnoticed. Had she not been so exhausted she would have lamented about her missing the chance to be with Harry sexually. She would have given her left leg for the chance. As it was, she was too tired to even contemplate it. With Harry holding her so close, so tightly, she felt safe, felt happy. In a way, she hadn't ever felt in all of her existence. She loved being wrapped up by him.

Sleep took them rather quickly. Both thinking there was no other place they’d rather be.