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True self
Chapter #4 Left handed

Chapter #4 Left handed

I opened my eyes to see through my blurry vision that I was still close to the pit. I was on some sort of stretcher, the elf Minalyn was there, having a shouting match with Demozas, what were they arguing about? I couldn’t hear what they were saying, every sound seemed dampened somehow like I was under water. I was so confused, my thoughts running away from me, and I wasn’t able to catch up. I tried to sit up but I grew dizzy, and there was a dull throbbing coming from my right hand. I lay back down, no one seemed to have noticed me being awake, to busy trying to calm Demozas down.

How had I gotten here? The slime, it had jumped on me, and then I had killed it, the text said so. Now I was here, had I fainted? The dull throbbing grabbing my attention was nothing compared to the pain of the slime. I looked down to my arm, where my hand used to be only a lump of red flesh remained, with pieces of bone peeking through. My bone I realized with a horrified fascination, how had that slime thing done this? It had hurt sure, but I hadn’t expected this, my writing hand, my lockpicking hand, it had been reduced to this useless piece of flesh. The healer, I could learn to use the sword in my other hand but gaining back the skill I had with locks would take a long time, no more escape attempts for me, but surely I wouldn’t have to switch hands, with Minalyn here, she could fix my hand, make it better.

“Hap me, heee me,” came out of my mouth as I tried to call for help. I had forgotten about my tongue, despite this Minalyn heard and with a last look of contempt directed at Demozas she came over to me and knelt beside me.

“Your master can be very stubborn, stupid more like. I would have liked to do this earlier when you were unconscious. I’m afraid it will hurt terribly, even through your numbed senses.” She said and took what was left of my hand in hers, I nodded frantically for her to continue. “Ok then, on the count of three,” she said, and I prepared myself, “One…” I heard, but she never got farther as green light blossomed from her hands to surround mine, the dull throbbing was replaced by absolute agony. I would have screamed, but my body was so tense I couldn’t get a breath of air into my lungs. Sweet relief came in the form of oblivion as I passed out from the pain.

I woke up with a start, I was in a bed, the other beds around me told me this was the healer’s tent. There was an ache coming from my hand now, not the agony of before. I clenched both my fists under the covers too afraid to look. My right hand felt stiff, the skin taught, otherwise it seemed to be working. I brought it out from under the blanket and stared at the bandages wrapped around it. My hand, it was whole, with all five fingers still intact, the breath of air I had been holding in rushed out of me as I sighed in relief. Being a slave was bad enough, but being a crippled slave would be worse. I had seen a couple, with missing limbs or broken bodies, heard the stories, they never lasted long under their masters. Minalyn was suddenly there, she sat herself down at the side of my bed. I had a sudden impulse, and I didn’t try to resist it as I flung my arms around her and started crying into her chest.

“An ou,” came the garbled words out of my mouth, I couldn’t even say thank you correctly, it only made me cry harder. She stroked my back until I had calmed down, she must think I was a terribly annoying burden. Here she’s saved my hand, and I go crying all over her lap, I’m so embarrassed, when I looked at her face though she didn’t seem annoyed or angry, she only gave me a gentle smile, and maybe a look of pity, but I averted my eyes before I could be sure.

“No need to feel shame, I have healed you free of charge,” she said, and I looked back at her in shock. “Yes dear, your master is a very cruel man. He refused to have you healed until I insisted on doing it for free,” this woman, my debt to her was greater than I first imagined. Had she taken no payment from the start?

“Now enough about this, there are some things you should know. I may be a great healer, but some things are still beyond me, now I have regrown your hand with all its tendons and bones intact. Some of the nerves, however, proved too much for me, what this means for you is, well, let’s say you won’t have the same dexterity as you had before.” That took a moment to sink in, the question must have been clear in my eyes for Minalyn continued.

“Can you write?” I nodded, “and you’re right-handed?” I nodded again as the healer's eyebrows drew together in a frown.

“That might be difficult for you now, if not outright painful in longer sittings.” How was I to escape then, if being able to write was difficult, picking a lock would be too. I would have to start from scratch, relearn everything with my left hand.

“Why you were in that pit in the first place I have no idea, is Demozas starting a slave fighting ring?” Minalyn said and looked at me with her penetrating eyes, “wait here,” she said as she went out through the tent flaps. Her words had surprised me, she didn’t know? What was all that talk about me growing stronger about then? She couldn’t just mean I would grow used to being a slave or grow stronger through that. No, the most obvious thing about me was my horns, did she mean my demon blood? I didn’t know much about demons, but from the status, it said they were good with magic and very charismatic. Elves lived for a long time, maybe she knew something about demons I could ask her. Most everyone else I had met had nothing but baseless rumors and superstitions to throw in my face.

“Everyone thinks you’re still healing, so we should have some time,” the healer said as she entered the tent and went to sit by my side again. She carried a small chalkboard, she gave it to me and placed a piece of chalk in my hand. “Now try and use your right hand to write something, see how it feels,” I did as I was asked, using my right hand I tried to spell ‘hello’ the letters turned out unreadable and as I tried again my hand started shaking slightly, Demozas had just robbed me of another way I could communicate or the slime had, it didn’t matter.

“It’s ok,” Minalyn calmed me as she saw how upset I was, “try it with your other hand and see how you do.” I took a deep breath and switched the little chalk to my left hand, the letters weren’t very nice looking, more like squiggles, but at least you could read them.

“Hello,” Minalyn giggled, “I don’t believe we’ve been properly introduced, my name is Minalyn, and I’m the healer of this up and coming town.” She made an elaborate bow, speaking with an exaggerated air. Millie, I wrote on the board and turned it around for her to read. “That’s a nice name,” she said as she eyed my horns and tail, “it’s not what I expected, but it kind of suits you if I’m honest,” I grinned at that, my name might not fit me, but I liked it all the same.

“Now, let’s have a conversation,” she said, and I nodded. “That light, the one that Naga brought, do you know what it was, what it did to you?” Ah, so she didn’t know what it was, should I tell her? I owed her, but what did she want to do with the information? She had fixed me up expecting nothing in return, the least I could do was give her the gist of it I didn’t need to give out all the details. I scribbled on the board, trying to be concise and using my left hand took more effort then I was used to.

“The light,” Minalyn read out slowly before her eyes flicked to me and I nodded for her to continue. “The light grows when you kill stuff,” I gave another nod and scrubbed away what I had written with my hand. I scribbled new words while the healer waited patiently to read them. Finally done I turned the board over for her to read. “Demozas wanted it, now you have it. He’s testing it, to see what it can do. Well, that explains the condition I found you in, but what does he plan to do when you grow too strong to handle I wonder? No one knows very much about the naga, but if they can use this light to improve themselves that would explain their incredible strength.” Minalyn looked thoughtful, had she met a Naga before? How old was she anyway? None of those questions made it on to the board though, as I used the chalk to have a conversation.

“Demon?” She read as I held up the blackboard for her, “yes you are a demon, a half demon,” I nodded at that and waited for her to continue with expectant eyes. “You want to know more about demons?” Minalyn asked, and I nodded rapidly, “Alright,” she chuckled, “I suppose it’s only fair, you’ve given me some information. I suppose it’s my turn, demons are a strange bunch. They come from other dimensions, other worlds let’s say, and can come in many different shapes and sizes. The word demon means stranger or from far away to be more precise. The important thing for you to know is that for a demon to enter our reality they need help, they can give power or grant a wish for a price.” She gestured to me, “resulting in half demons such as yourself, a focus or an attachment that’s similar to them that they can use as a beacon to open a portal to our world.” I was horrified, I would be used as some sort of portal for demons to climb out of?

“Calm down, they need your consent for it to work, you would tell me if you suddenly start hearing voices right?” I nodded, “and have you, heard voices I mean?” I shook my head this time, and Minalyn visibly relaxed. “Good good, there are certain measures we can take to make it easier for you to resist them. I don’t think it will happen soon, the first contact generally takes place when the half-demon grows in strength, more attuned with their blood.” I looked at her with a puzzled expression then wrote ‘grows in strength?’ It was what she had said when I had first met her.

“Ah, I should explain, as you age you may find certain abilities become available to you. People will find you more attractive and likable, your mana pool will grow no matter what you do. Those measures I was talking about requires that you can feel and manipulate your mana to some extent, have you ever set fire to something by accident?” She asked, and I shook my head, “ever heard someone's thoughts or found that you knew what they were going to do before you did it, maybe seen crazy colors floating around?” I shook my head again, I was pretty sure I would notice if I had magical powers.

“Well, you're probably not awakened, unless you have some affinity from your human side. We will be trying to make you feel your mana and locating it in your body, I’ll be teaching you some exercises, be warned however that they require a lot of introspection, willpower, and a good perception of your own body.” I suddenly had an idea, with my six attribute points could I make myself better at perceiving my own mana? It was likely, but first I would learn about this exercise of Minalyn’s, it seemed I would owe her more before this day was over.

“Now, to help you locate your mana pool I will be shooting a pulse of my own through your body, we may not have the same affinities but you should still be able to feel it,” the healer said and took my hands in her own, was this similar to what Astrid had been through, at the mages guild? “Are you ready?” Minalyn asked, and I nodded, “We’ll start slowly, close your eyes and just feel for a moment,” I did as she suggested. At first, there was nothing only the back of my eyelids and the feel of the elf’s hands in mine. Then, ever so slowly a tingling sensation began in my hands and traveled up my arms, there was a smell too, like the scent you get before the rain. I was so surprised I jerked in the bed and snatched my hands back, my eyes opened to see Minalyn staring back at me, the question evident in her eyes.

“You felt something?” I nodded, and she smiled, “was it unpleasant?” I had to think about that for a while, it had been strange. I had been surprised, but there was no pain or fear I didn’t think. I shook my head as Minalyns smile broadened, “want to try again?” I nodded my consent and offered my hands, she took them as I closed my eyes again and tried to focus.

It started quicker this time, the tingling sensation was accompanied by the smell of rain as before, other feelings came over me, and I almost forgot I was laying in a bed holding Minalyn’s hands. I was in a forest with the sun shining down on me, dark clouds were approaching bringing rain. They weren’t threatening, the forest felt almost inviting, with trees all around me I felt safe. I felt no hurry to get to some sort of cover, neither did the animals around me, the birds chirping in the trees with squirrels jumping from branch to branch. I thought I could spot a deer through the gaps in the forest, but it was gone too quickly for me to tell. Rain started falling, gently at first with a few drops and then more heavily, it was a nice shower, the water felt cool and refreshing as it ran in rivulets down my body. Suddenly there was a loud crash of thunder, and the whole world went white as the lightning bolt practically obliterated a large tree into pieces.

I was startled out of my daydream by my surprise as I flinched at the loud noise, what was that? It had felt so real like I was in a different place entirely, as I opened my eyes to meet Minalyns gaze I noticed that I was gripping her hands tightly. I relaxed my hold but didn’t let her hands fall from mine.

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“You’ve done well so far,” Minalyn said and smiled, “as you may have noticed my affinity leans heavily towards nature magic, with a focus on the weather.” I nodded, understanding dawning on me. That had been the impression of her mana, not some waking dream, now that I thought about it the feeling of safety and warmth I got from the woods was strange, a forest wasn’t my preferred environment. “This next part might be difficult, don’t be upset if you can’t do it at first,” I nodded, and Minalyn sighed nervously before she continued, not smiling this time.

“Close your eyes as before,” she instructed, and I obeyed, my hands still rested in hers, and they tingled as she began feeding her mana through my body. “Now, instead of just focusing on the sensations, take deep breaths and try to follow where the mana is going,” air flowed through my lungs in and out in deep breaths, and suddenly the tingling sensation of her mana changed. It was like the warm feeling I had felt before, but it flowed up my arms at the speed of a glacier. It reminded me of honey or tree sap as it flowed at a snail's pace through my body. “Just breath,” Minalyn said, “deep breaths, don’t be impatient,” don’t be impatient she says, she doesn’t know who she’s talking too. I none the less tried to follow her instructions taking deep breaths, trying to be calm, but it was so hard. I didn’t know being a mage would require oceans of self-control.

“Breath,” Minalyn said in a slow, tranquil voice, “let my mana flow through you, invite it into yourself and pay attention. What paths does it take, where does it gather? Don’t try to force it, let it do what it will, to take its natural form and your body will do the rest,” I breathed and observed and I tried to be patient, and slowly, ever so slowly an impression formed. It turned out that my describing Minalyn’s mana as honey was reasonably accurate. It was like a golden orangey liquid that slowly traveled through my veins, leaving its warmth where it moved. Seeing results made me less frustrated and it was easier for me to focus, with my new insight the honey’s pace increased until it had filled my entire body. It gathered in my chest though, it flowed in a maelstrom around what looked like a deep red flame with purple and green light flickering through it. The little flame was small between my breasts, but it licked at the golden honey around it. The view was spectacular, I had never seen anything like it, was that my mana, where it came from? I was lost in the sight until Minalyn’s voice brought me back to the moment.

“You did it,” she said with a smile, “you found your mana pool,” I smiled back at her like a fool, but I didn’t care I was ecstatic. “I want you to keep practicing until you can find it consistently on your own,” she said and suddenly grew serious, “only locate it though, nothing else. Don’t try to manipulate it, and absolutely under no circumstances are you to try casting a spell without me there, do you understand?” I nodded my understanding, and the smile found its way back to her face. “Good good, finding your mana without a guide will be hard enough, we don’t want you to burn down half the town by accident.” She left then after giving me a final hug and expressing her congratulations, saying that she had other patients to tend too. I tried to give back the chalk-board, but she insisted I keep it, saying I could come to her for more chalk if I ran out, my debt to her was approaching a life debt, but I would pay her back, someday. Would it really be as hard as she described, finding my mana pool on my own? Surely I could make it easier if I found the right attribute to increase.

Status:

Name: Millie Goodfellow   Species: Human/Demon   Sex: Female

Lvl: 3 Mana: 120

Scar tissue

Nerve damage

Prehensile Tail: +3 Dex +2 Agi

Demonic Heritage: +3 Cha/Lvl +50 Mana

Branded slave -3 Cha

Lost tongue -2 Cha

Attributes

Strength: 13   Endurance: 10    Constitution: 10

Dexterity: 14   Agility: 16   Perception: 13

Intelligence: 12   Willpower: 15    Charisma: 13

+3 Attribute points/Lvl    6 attribute points available

Skills:

Swords: Novice Lvl: 1

Small Blades: Novice Lvl: 5

Lockpick: Advanced Lvl: 7

Pickpocket: Apprentice Lvl: 9

Dancer: Novice Lvl 3

Cook: Novice Lvl 5

I had six attribute points available, intelligence would give me more mana but I needed to find it first, willpower would help me shape spells and make them more powerful, but wouldn’t help me perceive my mana. Then there was perception, it was in the name, wasn’t it? Perception helped you perceive things, but would it help me find my mana, there was nothing in the description that said it wouldn’t.

Then there was endurance and constitution, none of them would help with my mana, but they would help me survive. My fight with the slime hadn’t gone my way, and although my plan of avoiding damage using my agility was sound, I couldn’t always predict what my enemy would do. Being able to take some hits and keep fighting was a good idea, my survival was most important right now, but having control of my mana would be a massive tool in my escape from slavery, I decided to put three points into perception and three into endurance.

Is this your final decision? Yes/no, if you say yes the changes will be permanent and you will lose your attribute points.

Status:

Name: Millie Goodfellow   Species: Human/Demon   Sex: Female

Lvl: 3   Mana: 120

Scar tissue

Nerve damage

Prehensile Tail: +3 Dex +2 Agi

Demonic Heritage: +3 Cha/Lvl +50 Mana

Branded slave -3 Cha

Lost tongue -2 Cha

Attributes

Strength: 13   Endurance: 13    Constitution: 10

Dexterity: 14   Agility: 16   Perception: 16

Intelligence: 12   Willpower: 15    Charisma: 13

+3 Attribute points/Lvl   0 attribute points available

Skills:

Swords: Novice Lvl: 1

Small Blades: Novice Lvl: 5

Lockpick: Advanced Lvl: 7

Pickpocket: Apprentice Lvl: 9

Dancer: Novice Lvl 3

Cook: Novice Lvl 5

I confirmed my choices and looked to see what was different. The scaring and nerve damage Minalyn had told me about was listed there, although they seemed to have no adverse effects except that I needed to change hands. My charisma had gone up to thirteen with my increased levels along with endurance and perception which was now at sixteen. I wondered if that had changed anything, but I had no time to examine myself as Grog came through the tent flaps. He stopped to talk to Minalyn for a while, so I had time to speculate, had he come for sparring like last time? What time of day was it anyway, I hadn’t had any dinner last night, so I was pretty hungry.

“Our fine healer has told me you’d be useless with a sword in your right hand, lucky for us you were pretty useless already." Grog said with a hearty laugh as he came over, “you won’t have to relearn much by switching hands,” his laughter died down as he noticed the board in my hands and what I had written on it. “Food? Minalyn gave you that?” He asked, gesturing to the chalkboard. I answered with a nod, would he take it away? How was I to communicate then?

Grog hesitated before shrugging saying, “it’s not my problem, don’t go toting that around when your master is about though.” He said it so easily, where did he want me to put it, under my shirt? It would be fairly obvious I had something hidden there. Grog was walking to the tent exit and turned around when I didn’t come, what happened to his usual death grip on my arm? “Well, come along then. I haven’t had any breakfast either, so you might as well join me, but then it’s off to work with you.” So it was morning then, Grog had his usual armor on with a sword strapped to his waist, did he sleep in that get-up?

We exited the tent to walk side by side, I wasn’t being dragged anywhere, and I wasn’t in a hurry, so I had more time to take in our surroundings. Despite the early hour people were everywhere, merchants going to the square to set up their stalls, people followed in their wake, no doubt eager to get a look at the finest wares before they sold out. People with all sorts of different armor and weapons walked in and out of a building that was actually finished, the sign of the adventurers guild dangled in the wind. There were no slaves from what I could tell, and I really tried to look, there were usually at least some on the streets of every major city. You could spot them by their downcast eyes and often less than average quality clothing.

Were my group the only slaves in this area? Maybe this place was still too new, and there would be more once it was a bit more established. There were smells and sounds in the air I hadn’t noticed before, likely due to my new and improved perception I could hear the sound of hammers striking both metal and wood and smell a myriad of different kinds of food being peddled on the street. There were also the less savory scents, this place didn’t have a sewer system and even though there weren’t as many people here as in a big city the smell of waste was still prevalent in the background.

We finally came to our destination, the sparring ring, and fighting pit. It had apparently been taken over as a training area for both the hired guards and Demozas mercenaries were using it as such. There was currently sparring going on, but I couldn’t see through the ring of people who stood around cheering, bets were taking place on the outcome of the match the arguing growing quite heated. We steered clear of that finding a bench to sit down on, everyone who noticed us either dismissed us or made way for us. So did they fear Grog or did he just not know how to make friends?

Breakfast consisted of bread and an extremely watered down ale, it wasn’t much, but it was something starving wouldn’t help me survive, and I hadn’t eaten anything last night. Grog took his sweet time, that was alright though since it meant I had some time to rest before I had to work. Would we be digging latrines again today? How many could we need? I suppose new ones needed to be dug when the last ones grew full, lovely. That reminded me of something Astrid had said, so I got out my board and started scribbling on it to show Grog.

“You want me to teach you martial arts and archery, you can forget that right now,” Grog said after reading what I’d written. I huffed and brushed away what I had written so I could scribble some more to show him. “Don’t get disarmed,” he said and sighed as he realized how stupid that sounded. “Fine, I’ll talk to Demozas at least, see if I can teach you some holds, but no arrows. I don’t want you to get any bad ideas, he mumbled after agreeing to talk to my master, what did that even mean? Did he think I would use a bow to escape or to shoot up at the guards surrounding the pit? As I started considering the possibilities, Grog must have noticed the look on my face for he said, “Don’t you even start, I have enough on my plate,” he didn’t get much further for someone came up to us and interrupted him for a change.

“Hey Grog,” it was one of the other mercenaries, he was breathing heavily, probably from sparring. “Wanna go a few rounds?” He asked smiling, he seemed friendly enough, but the smile never reached his eyes. I knew his type, couldn’t handle not being on top, not being the best.

“No,” Grog answered flatly, not even looking at the guy.

“What,” the guy said, “I figured someone of your age still had a couple tricks up his sleeve.”

“I said no Randal, I’m busy.”

“Busy with what?” Randal began, but then his eyes fell on me, and he leered, predictably. “Oh, I see how it is, too busy with your little whore I see, can’t say I blame you. A man needs to take what he can get looking like you,” I could feel the bile rising at the back of my throat as I glared at the guy, I would bite his fucking cock off if he tried something. Grog laid a hand on my shoulder as he sighed deeply, keeping me from flying at the guy.

“You know she’s the one who bit Demozas’ ear of right?” Grog said with a half smile, the guy looked at me with a bit of uncertainty now, but he quickly covered it with his bravado.

“So what, Demozas is a fat merchant, see how she likes to take it from a real man,” my blood boiled at that and Grog had to physically restrain me from flying at the piece of human filth.

“You just never know when to shut up, do you? I think it would be best if you apologize,” Grog said, struggling to keep me still. He had hands like an iron trap, he could hold a bull down and not break a sweat I was pretty sure.

“As if,” Randal said then he smiled triumphantly as if he had just had a great idea. “I tell you what, if you beat me, here and now, fair and square I’ll do it.” Grog eyes the guard for a moment and then rose from the bench we were on.

“If I beat you you’ll not only apologize, you ‘ll beg for forgiveness, how’s that sound,” the guy didn’t even consider his answer before he nodded and stepped back from us, getting into a fighting stance. “A promise is a promise,” Grog said before looking back at me, “consider this your first lesson I call it personality adjustment.” Grog took a similar stance as the guard, and they walked slowly towards one another. There was a bit of a crowd forming around the impromptu sparring match, from the talk going around I learned that not many had seen Grog fight, most of them thought Randal would win, most of them were wrong. Randal only got in a couple of lucky hits that Grog used to gain the upper hand, it ended with Grog locking the human filth’s hands behind his back and leading him towards where I was sitting. Randal’s eyes were both swollen and blood was dripping from his mouth as I met his eyes and smiled.

“Get it over with, I don’t have all day,” Grog called.

“I’m sorry,” Randal managed through swollen lips.

“Ah, ah, ah, that is not what we agreed upon.”

“I beg you, please forgive me. I was wrong, it will never happen again,” came the second attempt.

“Good enough,” there was a popping sound, and Grog let the guard fall to the ground screaming in agony. Apology accepted.

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