MacEwan Student Centre
University of Calgary
El’s heart was slamming against his sternum, his skin was burning, and a massive knot was developing in his stomach. He pressed himself against the cold concrete wall, shut his eyes and tried to slow his rapid breathing. The voices of hundreds around him were a roar, beating into his eardrums, drowning out his own thoughts. The press of bodies left no room to breathe, no space for the individual. This, not battle, not physical exertion or pain, this was his greatest worry about coming to the Academy.
How can anyone find peace in these cities?
He had gotten as far as the food court of the student union before the massive press of the crowd had been too much and he had retreated to a wall. His breath continued to come in shallow, ragged gasps and his skin felt on fire. He began repeating a prayer he had often heard in the temple.
Assailed by afflictions, we discover Dharma
And find the way to liberation. Thank you, evil forces!
When sorrows invade the mind, we discover Dharma
And find lasting happiness. Thank you, sorrows!
Through harm caused by spirits, we discover Dharma
And find fearlessness. Thank you, ghosts and demons!
`Through people's hate, we discover Dharma
And find benefits and happiness. Thank you, those who hate us!
Through cruel adversity, we discover Dharma
And find the unchanging way. Thank you, adversity!
Through being impelled to by others, we discover Dharma
And find the essential meaning. Thank you, to all who drive us on!
Just as El was beginning to recite the prayer for a second time a familiar voice from next to him jarred him.
“Hey, buddy. You okay?”
His head snapped up and his eyes opened. Laura stood next to his shoulder, looking up into his flushed and burning face. Her light brown hair fell around her elfin face in loose curls. An empty backpack hung from one shoulder.
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El’s voice felt thin, fragile to his ears. “Yeah, fine.”
“Hmm. I guess you don’t get too big of crowds in Whitehorse eh?”
El shook his head. “Yukon quest. Big crowds there, but lots of dogs too so it’s alright.”
“Yeah, I guess that makes sense. Being on my horse working the herd on the family place has always been peaceful. Come on, let’s go get our books.” Her hand slipped into his. Tiny, cool, and yet possessing a surprising amount of callus suggesting many long hours of hard work. She took a step away from the wall and pulled El along with her.
Laura led them through the crowd with the expertise and long experience of a small person avoiding being stepped on. They passed rows of fast food on either side; long, jumbled lines turning into subcrowds in the larger crowd as people waited to order and pick up their orders. Burger joints, Asian barbecue, and sushi stands all stood together. This one building housed a wider variety of food than most of Whitehorse.
“Were you born in Whitehorse El?” Laura towed him passed the last of the food stalls and down the stairs to the lower level.
“Umm no, Vancouver. Moved when I was nine.” The heat in his skin was beginning to pass, but his breathing was still closer to hyperventilating.
“That's a big change. Lemme guess, to be close to nature?” Laura spoke the last part more slowly than her usual frenetic rate of conversation.
“Yeah, Dad thought that I needed nature around me,” Actually he remembered the shrieks and screams as he ran through the halls of their cramped apartment building after turning into a wolf for the first time. He had been a young wolf, still all-paw and long legs but unmistakably a wolf. Within a few weeks, he was on his way to the Yukon along with his parents. His father had recognized that his son required space around him to explore his metahuman nature. Mother had lasted a single winter before moving back to Vancouver.
El had been too wrapped up in memories to notice that they had entered the large university bookstore.
“Give me your class book lists.” At the prompt El took out the folded piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to her. Laura stuck it between her teeth, scooped up a plastic basket from a stack near the door and handed it to El. “Zoology major eh?” El nodded in agreement. “No surprise there makes you better at your..our job I bet.”
They turned down aisles crammed with stacks of books and nervous students, weaving a path through the maze in search of the incredibly expensive textbooks. Laura deposited El’s various biology and anatomy texts. He looked down at the titles and saw that she had added several psychology books for herself.
“Psych major?” He needed to get out of this place, away from the press of humanity that denied breath.
“I want to focus on criminal psych, figure out why the bad guys do what they do. I grew up loving Criminal Minds but had to sneak-watching episodes when I was younger because Mom thought it was too intense for me. Puh-lease, I helped Dad necropsy a dead cow when I was nine and pulled my first calf when I was eleven.”
By the time they were waiting in line, El came to realize his breathing had slowed and that Laura was still holding his hand. Her strong grip was reassuring, her skin warm now that the furious heat had faded from his. El’s father had never been big on physical contact, besides the big hug they had shared just before father and son separated at the bus when El had left for Calgary. He had also spent as much of his time in the woods as possible, enjoying the freedom of exploration and running, most often as a wolf, but sometimes as a human. All this had left him with little time for an active social calendar. As Laura led her teammate out of the cacophony inside the building he realized that this was the first time he had held a girl’s hand.