I look around while rubbing my head to see that i'm in an unfamiliar place.
"What the hell is this place"
That's when I hear a voice.
"I am the Goddess known as Iris and you are in heaven little one, you died on earth."
Hearing those words made my nonexistent heart drop.
"NO THAT CAN'T BE... I REMEMBER GOING OUT TO BUY A GAME I'VE WAITED YEARS FOR"
"Now that I think about it.. what happened."
After saying those words I hear a snicker... Did this bitch just laugh.
"You died in a rather.... comical way if I must say"
"DON'T LAUGH AT MY DEATH I WAS SO EXCITED THAT DAY TOO!"
"NOW TELL ME HOW I DIED ALREADY"
After saying that I hear a full on chuckle.. This bitch really is laughing at me.
"Your death was one of the most unique deaths I have ever seen."
"You ran into the street so fast and didn't even bother to look both ways before crossing and was hit by a truck"
"That's not even the funny part.."
I hear her trying her hardest to hold back laughter... what the fuck could be so damn funny.
"The truck hit you so hard it replayed 3 different times!"
After saying so the goddess Iris burst out into laughter with tears rolling down her face.
"How in the hell do you get something to replay 3 different times in the real world!"
"I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw it."
"On top of that the scream you made had my stomach hurting!"
Iris is literally on the ground rolling around as if I didn't just die...
This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
"BE SERIOUS FOR A SECOND I JUST LOST MY DAMN LIFE SHOW SOME COMPASSION!"
She wipes her tears away and finally puts on a professional face... but I still see her snickering.
"You now have 2 options to choose from."
"You can either go to heaven or be Reinc-"
"I CHOOSE TO BE REINCARNATED"
"I... I didn't even get a chance to finish yet..."
"I know, I wanna be reincarnated!"
"C'mon! Give me some cool powers so I can go down there and be a super hero!"
Iris looks very confused for some reason...
"Don't tell me you're one of those people that think you're gonna be the main character"
"The hell do you mean?"
"Listen.. you don't get op ass abilities unless you're actually special"
wow... that one actually kinda stung
"Wait but I died right.. Don't I get crazy abilities to go beat some demon lord???"
Iris sighs
"Look, you're not a main character.. your death was the only main character thing about you"
"I still can't get over how hilarious it was, thanks for the entertainment though"
She still isn't taking me serious.... this can't be a goddess.
Where are the cameras cause I have to be getting pranked right now.
"Well, what do I get?"
"You do at least get one power"
"I DO??!"
"DO I GET TO CHOOSE?!"
"No"
"It is a power chosen at random"
"Then how the hell would you know if it's gonna be op or not lady!"
I hear her snicker again.
I really wanna slap the shit out of her.
"Your name is Ronald, you never had a girlfriend, your room smelled like corn chips and you death was so hilarious it defied the laws of the world and actually replayed itself 3 different times"
"If you ask me that doesn't seem like a person that would get broken abilities"
She just made fun of my life... does she not feel an ounce of empathy for me?!
"Since you're just gonna keep making fun of me just give me my damn power so I can go"
"I will since I have a lot of dead people to send to different places.."
"And maybe there will be a person worthy enough to be a hero"
That slut!
She knows I wanna be a super hero and she's throwing it in my face!
"Here is your power"
At that very moment I feel something coursing through my spirit.
Could this be my op ability!!?
Suddenly the feeling stops and I feel underwhelmed.
"What the hell just happened..."
"I felt power and it felt so small all of a sudden"
Iris breaks out into laughter yet again.
"I TOLD YOU THAT YOU WEREN'T GONNA GET AN OP ABILITY AND IT LOOKS LIKE I WAS RIGHT"
This so called 'Goddess' really is a waste of space.. making fun of me when i'm at my lowest.
"Watch I'm still gonna become a super hero with whatever power I was given!"
"Now let me test out my ability"
Suddenly Iris Yells
"NO YOU IDIOT DON'T DO THAT HERE!"
"ONLY GODS AND GODDESSES ARE ALLOWED TO USE POWERS HERE"
"IF YOU USE THAT HERE BOSS IS GONNA KILL ME AND STRIP YOU OF YOUR POWER"
"oh... my bad"
"Well before I go can you at least equip me with a cool super hero costume?!"
And for once Iris actually acts like a goddess and not an ass.
"Fine here"
An outfit suddenly appears on my body and...
"WHAT THE HELL WHY IS IT SO DAMN BAGGY!"
"SUPER HEROS USUALLY GET COOL SPANDEX LIKE WIDOW MAN AND THAT SUPER BOY"
"NO ONE WANTS TO SEE YOUR JUNK SO I'M NOT GIVING YOU SPANDEX!"
"Now get out of my sight"
Iris snaps and a portal appears under my feet and i'm teleported to another world..