The Logistics Incident
The delivery truck rumbled down the narrow Japanese street, its driver Tanaka-san fighting to stay awake. After finishing his regular shift at Ichipan Express, he'd picked up extra hours driving for Quiq-Ship Logistics, a decision his drowsy brain now regretted.
The truck's white paint was dulled by years of faithful service, and its Quiq-Ship Logistics logo was faded but still proud. It was just another evening run, another delivery route—at least until fate decided otherwise.
Yamada Kenji was, by all accounts, perfectly average. Average height, average grades at an average high school, and currently averaging three failed attempts per week to talk to Sakura-san from class 2-B. At sixteen, he was beginning to suspect that being the protagonist of his own life story wasn't working out quite as planned.
"Your career guidance form shows... interesting choices," his homeroom teacher had said that morning, in a tone that meant exactly the opposite. "But becoming a hero might not be the most practical career path."
Walking home in his slightly rumpled uniform, Kenji sighed. He'd spent the entire career counseling session trying to explain that "hero" was a perfectly valid dream. Yet his most notable achievement seemed to be his ability to blend into any background. Even his hair was brown – not too dark, not too light, just generically unremarkable.
That's when he heard it: the sound of a struggling engine.
Up ahead, a girl in a sailor uniform from a different school stood in the middle of the road, completely absorbed in a light novel! The book's cover showed a young man posed heroically before a dragon. Behind her, Tanaka-san's truck approached, its engine slightly protesting another evening run.
Time slowed. Kenji's body moved before his mind could catch up.
"Watch out!" he shouted, reaching for the girl.
She looked up, eyes widening. Kenji grabbed her arm and pushed her aside. The protagonist's sacrifice was at hand.
A shimmering portal appeared out of nowhere…
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In the middle of a dirt road, surrounded by trees with purple leaves and floating crystals stood an enormous white dog with three heads, each the size of a small house.
"Welcome, brave hero!" boomed the center head of what could only be Cerberus's fancy cousin. "You have been summoned to save our world from- wait, what in the name of the Ancient Ones are you?!"
The truck's headlights blinked in confusion. It tried to speak, but all that came out was a honk.
"This... this is unprecedented," muttered the left head. "The summoning spell was supposed to bring us a human hero."
"Well," grumbled the right head, "someone clearly messed up the incantation."
The truck revved its engine nervously, its windshield wipers activating from stress. Its side mirror caught its reflection in a nearby crystal - a perfectly ordinary white delivery truck, still bearing the "Quiq-Ship Logistics" logo, now parked in front of a divine beast. At least the isekai gods had been kind enough to fill its gas tank to full.
The left head sighed. "The prophecy did say 'a hero of power and steel.' We just assumed..."
"Look on the bright side," chirped the right head. "At least we won't have to explain the power of friendship or go through a lengthy training montage."
The truck honked again, this time more confidently. It had survived two back-to-back shifts with two different delivery companies – how much harder could saving a fantasy world be?
"Very well!" declared all three heads in unison. "Hero Truck, your first quest shall be to deliver... er, I mean, defeat the Demon Lord of the Western Mountains! But first, let us outfit you with appropriate gear. Gregory!"
A small goblin wearing mechanic's overalls waddled out from behind a tree.
"Fit our hero with the finest magical modifications. And please," the center head added, "remove that advertisement for 'Same-day delivery guaranteed or your money back' from the side. It's not very heroic."
---
The truck's adventure in another world had begun. Meanwhile, back in Japan, Tanaka-san found himself sitting in his driver's pose in the middle of the street, hands still gripping an invisible steering wheel, foot pressed against nonexistent pedals. A small crowd had gathered around him, smartphones recording the bizarre scene of a delivery driver seemingly pantomiming his job in the middle of the road.
Sir?" A police officer approached cautiously. "Sir, are you alright?"
Tanaka continued to make gentle turning motions with his invisible steering wheel. "Must... complete... deliveries..." he muttered, still half-asleep and completely confused.
Kenji stayed in his ducking position, as his brain tried to process what had just happened. The girl stood nearby, her light novel forgotten on the ground.
Where the truck should have crashed, there was nothing. No wreckage, no isekai portal, not even skid marks.
"Um," said the girl, picking up her light novel. "I don't think this is how these stories usually go?" She smiled.
Kenji stared at her. He had done everything right – been perfectly average, found someone to save, prepared his heroic sacrifice... and somehow the truck had gotten isekai'd instead.
"I haven't finished my gacha dailies," he said weakly, still frozen in his ducking position. "I'm on a 364-day streak."
---
In the fantasy world, Gregory the goblin mechanic approached with his toolbox. "Now then, let's see what we can do about upgrading you for battle. I'm thinking flame-throwing headlights, spike-covered wheels, and maybe—"
But before Gregory could even pull out his first wrench, another shimmering portal appeared beneath the truck's wheels.
"Oh no," all three divine dog's heads said in unison. "The divine logistics department is overriding our summoning ritual!"
The truck's horn let out a startled HONK! as it began sinking into the new portal.
"Wait!" Gregory shouted, frantically waving his wrench. "You haven't gotten your magical enhancements yet! You can't fight the Demon Lord as a regular delivery truck!"
The center head quickly shouted, "Remember, brave Hero Truck, the Demon Lord's castle is just past the—" but the truck had already disappeared through the portal, leaving behind only a small oil stain and a very disappointed goblin mechanic clutching his unused tools.
The right head sighed. "Well, that's just great. Our hero isn't even properly equipped."
"Maybe regular delivery trucks are more formidable than we think," the left head suggested.
---
The truck materialized on what appeared to be a mountain path, its tires spinning briefly before finding purchase on the rough terrain. A sign written in mysterious runes stood nearby, though somehow the truck could understand it: "Demon Lord's Castle—5 miles ahead. Adventurers will be killed on sight. Deliveries, please use the rear entrance."
Well, at least there was a delivery entrance. Some things were universal, it seemed.
The truck's headlights illuminated a narrow, winding path that would have made even the most experienced Tokyo delivery driver nervous. Below, a sheer cliff dropped into misty nothingness. Above, ominous dark clouds swirled around jagged peaks. Occasional flashes of lightning revealed grotesque gargoyles perched on outcroppings, their stone eyes following the truck's every move.
A small group of skeleton warriors guarding the path raised their rusty swords, then paused in confusion at the sight of the Quiq-Ship Logistics logo. One turned to his companion and rattled his jaw in what seemed to be a question.
The truck did what it did best – it pretended this was just another difficult delivery route. It had survived entitled customers in luxury apartments, aggressive dogs in suburban homes, and that one time it had to deliver to a yakuza compound. This was just another day at work. Sort of.
Revving its engine with determination, the truck accelerated up the mountain path. The skeletons jumped aside, not quite sure if they should attack what appeared to be a kind of delivery wagon. One of them even gave an apologetic wave.
This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.
As it climbed higher, the truck's unlikely advantage became clear. Nobody attacked delivery vehicles. It was apparently a multiversal constant – even evil minions were waiting for packages sometimes. A group of dark mages lowered their staffs as it passed, one checking his pockets for a shipping receipt. A dragon circling overhead merely gave it a cursory glance before returning to its patrol.
Finally, it reached a massive black castle. True to the sign's word, there was indeed a delivery entrance in the back, complete with a loading dock. A bored-looking goblin in a safety vest stood there with a clipboard.
The truck rolled to a stop, its engine ticking as it cooled. Now what? It hadn't actually brought any packages to deliver...
"Finally!" The goblin marched over. "You must be the delivery we've been waiting for. The Demon Lord ordered some cursed IGEA furniture three weeks ago." He squinted at the truck's empty cargo hold. "Hey, where's the—"
BOOM! The castle's door burst open. A towering figure in spiky black armor stormed out.
"What do you mean the Demon Lord is at his summer castle?!" roared the Demon General, his voice making the loading dock tremble. "I just finished organizing this surprise inspection! Do you know how much paperwork that required?! I must depart immediately..."
The truck's back doors chose that exact moment to swing open with a creak. The Demon General, still mid-rant and backward-walking as he berated his minions, stepped right into the cargo hold.
"—AND another thing! Who keeps leaving their cursed coffee mugs in the break room without washing them? We're evil, not savages—"
CLANG! A particularly enthusiastic gesture caused him to bump into the truck's interior wall. The doors slammed shut from the impact.
The truck, panicking at suddenly having accidentally kidnapped a high-ranking demon official, did what came naturally – it hit the gas and drove off. The loading dock erupted into chaos.
"After that truck!" screamed a demon sergeant. "It's stealing the General!"
"But sir," a skeleton warrior rattled nervously, "it's a delivery vehicle. We can't attack those – it's against the Evil Overlord's Union regulations, section 666, paragraph B: 'All delivery personnel must be allowed safe passage, because someone might be expecting a package.' Anyway, the general just said about his immediate departure, maybe it was planned?!"
Inside the cargo hold, the Demon General's muffled voice could be heard: "What is the meaning of— wait, is this a Quiq-Ship vehicle? Are those prices in silver? Their rates are a robbery!"
The truck barreled down the mountain path, its suspension getting the workout of its life. Behind it, the castle forces were in disarray – half wanting to pursue, half citing delivery vehicle immunity laws, and all too confused to mount an effective response.
Meanwhile, the Demon General had found an old benefits pamphlet in the cargo hold and was reading it by the light of his cursed armor. "Wait a minute... Quiq-Ship offers dental? AND a 401k?"
The truck drove through the night, its headlights cutting through an increasingly thick fog. Strange creatures skittered away from the beams of light, and eerie howls echoed through the darkness. But nothing dared to attack – the sacred sigil of "Next Day Delivery Guaranteed" protected it like the most powerful of wards.
Inside the cargo hold, the Demon General had gone through every scrap of paper he could find. Among old receipts and delivery manifests, he discovered dozens of crumpled playbills from the "Tokyo Metropolitan Opera House - Phantom of the Opera."
The General smoothed out the elegant paper in the dim light of his armor's perpetual hellfire glow. His eyes widened as he misread the ornate gothic text.
"By the seven circles of bureaucracy!" he exclaimed. "This is an invitation to the Dark Lord's Grand Masquerade Ball! Look at these illustrations – mysterious figures in masks, a grand chandelier, a creature lurking in shadows... This must be why the Demon Lord went to the summer castle!"
He began pacing in the limited space of the cargo hold, his armor clanking against the walls. "And I almost missed it because no one told me! Finally, my chance to network with upper management!"
The truck's engine sputtered – its gas gauge was dangerously low. As the fog began to lift with the approaching dawn, its headlights illuminated something that made its brake lights flash in panic: the massive walls of the Border Stronghold of the Holy Knight Order, complete with gleaming silver towers and fluttering white-and-gold banners.
Dozens of knights in shining armor patrolled the battlements, their blessed weapons glowing with divine light. A line of merchant carts waited at the gate for inspection, each being thoroughly checked by paladins with evil-detecting monocles.
"'The Phantom awaits,'" the General continued reading dramatically from the playbill, completely oblivious to their predicament. "Indeed he does! But what to wear? This formal armor is at least three seasons out of date…"
The truck's engine made a worrying sound as it rolled near the end of the merchant line. It had two problems: First, it was almost out of gas. Second, it had a high-ranking demon officer in its cargo hold, happily rehearsing what he thought was an evil ritual chant: "The phaaaantom of the opera is theeeere..."
And now a very serious-looking paladin with a particularly shiny evil-detecting monocle was walking towards them.
The truck's engine sputtered one last time. Inside the cargo hold, the Demon General had just spotted something through the rear window slats.
"A white carriage! Just as the Dark Lord's invitation prophecized!" he exclaimed, misinterpreting the truck's white paint job in his excitement. "This must be the secret entrance to the masquerade. How clever – hiding it within a holy stronghold. Truly diabolical!"
The paladin was now close enough that his evil-detecting monocle was starting to glow an alarming shade of red. The truck did the only thing it could think of – it gunned its last drops of fuel and charged straight for the gate.
"HALT!" shouted the paladin, but the truck was already moving.
It scraped past a merchant's cart of cabbages ("My cabbages!" screamed the merchant), its side mirror dangling loose as it squeezed through the narrow gateway. The General, thrown around in the cargo hold, assumed this was all part of some elaborate entrance ceremony.
"Yes! YES!" he shouted gleefully between tumbles. "Just like in the invitation – 'crash the chandelier!' Though I suppose in this case, we're crashing through the front door. How wonderfully theatrical!"
Knights scattered as the truck barreled through the courtyard, collecting scratches and minor dents like a badge of honor. A spear glanced off its hood, leaving a chip in the windshield. Someone had installed a portcullis control next to a sign reading "In Case of Demon Attack, Pull Lever." A young squire did exactly that.
The heavy metal gate began to descend. The truck's engine was running on fumes and prayers, but it managed one last burst of speed. It rolled under the portcullis just as it dropped, leaving a long scratch across its roof and scraping away part of the "Quiq-Ship Logistics" lettering in the process.
"The masquerade begins!" the General declared dramatically as they crashed through a pile of training dummies. "Such pageantry! Such drama! Though I must say, the Dark Lord's party planners have outdone themselves with all these armed guests in holy armor. The commitment to irony is impressive!"
The truck, now sporting an impressive collection of scratches, a dangling mirror, and a scraped roof, rolled to a stop in what appeared to be the central courtyard. Dozens of knights surrounded it, weapons drawn, while the evil-detecting monocles of the paladins were practically strobing with red light.
Inside the cargo hold, the Demon General adjusted his horned helmet and cleared his throat. "Now then, time to make my grand entrance. I hope my singing voice is in form for the opening number…"
The cargo doors burst open, and the General stepped out with his arms spread wide. "Ladies and gentledemons, I—" He froze mid-gesture, finally registering the dozens of blessed weapons pointed at him. "This... isn't the Dark Lord's Masquerade Ball, is it?"
"That's the Demon General Malphas!" someone shouted. "The Scourge of the Eastern Provinces! The Bureaucrat of Burden! The Fiend of Unnecessary Paperwork!"
Knights swarmed forward with blessed chains while the General looked around in confusion. "But... but the invitation... the phantom... the masks..." He was still clutching the opera playbill as they led him away, muttering about filing a complaint with the Dark Lord's event planning committee.
Meanwhile, a group of paladins approached the truck cautiously, evil-detecting monocles now showing confusing readings that fluctuated between "pure-hearted" and "possibly a demon but like, a really polite one."
"Check for the driver!" ordered the Knight-Captain. "Whoever delivered this demon to us must be a hero of incredible bravery and cunning!"
But when they peered through the windows, they found only an empty cab. No driver, just keys in the ignition, a slightly worn seat, and a cup holder containing three copper coins that had definitely not been there before.
The most senior paladin stepped forward, his monocle gleaming as he studied the scratched but still visible fragments of Japanese text on the truck's side.
"Behold!" he declared solemnly, completely misinterpreting the half-visible Quiq-Ship Logistics logo. "This is surely the Great Metal Spirit of Delivery, sent by the gods to aid our cause! Only a divine entity would think to disguise itself as a humble delivery vehicle to infiltrate the enemy's ranks!"
The truck's headlights flickered in bewilderment as the knights began to bow. Suddenly, it felt a strange sensation, like a warm tingle running through its chassis. A translucent blue box appeared in its field of vision:
Achievement unlocked: "Special Delivery - Successfully delivered one (1) demon general to the forces of good" [LEVEL UP!] Title gained: "Accidental Holy Vehicle" The class gained: Otherworldly Supplier New skill acquired: "Delivery Stealth" - Enemy forces will assume you're just there with deliveries New skill acquired: "Unstoppable Courier" - Once in motion towards a delivery point, physical barriers have a reduced effect. Special skill acquired: "Divine Fuel Blessing" - Gas tank slowly refills while parked in a safe place.
As the blue box faded, a warm golden light enveloped the truck. The scratches from its dramatic entrance began to fade like morning dew, the dents popped out with soft 'ping' sounds, and the dangling side mirror snapped back into place. The chipped windshield cleared like ice melting in spring, and even the scraped paint restored itself to a pristine white finish. The Quiq-Ship Logistics logo reformed, but now with a subtle shimmer that hadn't been there before.
The truck's engine, which had been running on fumes and divine intervention, suddenly purred as it had just rolled off the assembly line. The fuel gauge needle swung smoothly to 'Full,' the whole vehicle seemed to sit a little higher on its suspension, as if proud of its accomplishment.
"It's being blessed!" gasped a young squire. "The Great Metal Spirit is revealing its true form!"
The Knight-Captain stroked his chin thoughtfully. "You know, if it can deliver demons this efficiently, imagine what it could do with our weekly supply requisitions..."
Meanwhile, the truck was marveling at how much better it felt. Even that weird rattle from the suspension that had been there since that pothole in Shibuya was gone. If this was what happened after one accidental demon delivery, maybe getting isekai'd wasn't so bad after all.
Class: Otherworldly Supplier Titles: "The Great Metal Spirit"
"Accidental Holy Vehicle"
"Quiq-Ship's Most Reliable" (inherited from a previous life) Skills: "Delivery Stealth" - Enemy forces will assume you're just there with deliveries.
"Unstoppable Courier" - Once in motion towards a delivery point, physical barriers have reduced effect.
"Divine Fuel Blessing" - Gas tank slowly refills while parked in safe places
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