“Detective…”

I stated it as if it were a curse word. By all rights it should be. Detectives on this station always end up dead. The minute you announce yourself as one to any of the perps, they’ve got a laser beam focused on your head and then—Boom! So long, been nice knowing ya. I sat there in the change room, half naked, with my pants still slumped around my ankles, depressed as shit as I continued to utter my title out loud. Raven, opposite to me, switching out her clothes (got she’s got a nice rack), patted me on the head like my mother trying to comfort me and smiled. Ew, did I just compare her to my mother? Yikes!

“Stop being such a whiny bitch.” She said, finishing pulling up her tight jeans. “This is an opportunity of a lifetime!”

“For you…” I pouted. “I hate this crap.”

“Oh, shut up…” She rolled her eyes at me and snapped the back of my undies. “You’ve never even been one before. It’s like being a beat cop… but now… you get to ask more questions and check out areas we’ve never been before.”

“Whoopee…” I said, twirling my finger in the air.

“Jesus,” She moaned. “You’d better not be doing this the entire time we’re questioning people. I may just put you in the airlock and end your suffering right then and there.”

The offer was rather enticing. I almost took her up on it. But, no, I like living too much, I suppose. I just finished kicking off my pants, grabbed my civilian garb, and dressed up. It was time to go home. I’d have to go and process all this, preferably with a stiff drink in hand. Raven waited for me at the end of the change room and approved of my choice in clothing. She must have read my mind, and suggested a night of drinks to celebrate (or in my case, drink in sorrow), feeling that we both needed some R&R before setting out in the morning.

Yeah, I know, morning––on a space-station no less. Good god, that always made me chuckle. This place rarely sees any sunlight at all, let alone orbiting enough to even technically have a morning, as such. It seemed comical continuing to use the term. There is no night, just as there is no morning. The only difference is using a clock to determine the time. And, oddly enough, we’re all still going by Earth-standard time.

There is a sun, say about… oh, twenty-five AU from here, but there’s a big ol’ gas giant that blocks it for several days at a time. Triton was built into an asteroid that borders the very edge of its massive ten ring orbit. So, the station has to use an artificial light source when the other (barely visible) sunlight strikes this area. At least that way, they can control the whole day vs night thing. I won’t get further into the semantics of it, just because it’s all very boring nonsensical science shit that I can’t stand yammering on about.

Now then, getting back to us having a night out and getting loaded. Once I slammed my locker door and grabbed my well-worn grey fedora hat, I was ready to go.

“Have you ever cleaned that thing?” Raven mused as she jokingly tried to remove my hat.

“Once… before I came here.” I stated, keeping her hand away. “It’s got charm, character, it’s dignified…”

“It smells…” She held her nose. “Sweat and booze… I don’t even want to know why.”

“Yeah…” I nodded with a grin. “Best you not know.”

* * *

Taffy’s bar on fifth-level was always busy. Some would call it the half-way point for any drinker on station. Go up any higher, and you might not get into one of the swankier places. Go too far down and, well—you may not leave there alive. Taffy’s is about the only moderately priced place to get a drink, it had a decent supply and the food was tolerable, and that’s putting it mildly. I mean, let’s face it, supply is in short demand, so you literally get what you pay for. It’s better not to ask where the food comes from, if you expect to hold it down long enough.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

The music is always loud, the dance floor is full of people who think they know how to move, but Raven and I tend to show them how it’s done right, of course. After a few of our teaching sessions to the unimpressed youth, we headed back to the main bar and got our much deserved refreshers. I savoured the whisky-type imitation brand, just as Raven started talking to me after throwing back a few shots.

“I wonder why the security fields didn’t keep that ship from colliding with the docking platform…”

It took me a few seconds to realize she was talking about that ship again. I sipped the glass one more time, gritted my teeth from the un-smooth taste of fake alcohol and looked at her.

“Probably because they let it through before realizing the ship was coming in too fast. It’s happened before, but, not to the extreme like this, I will admit.”

“Makes no sense though.” She said, leaning her drunken’ head onto hand as she used the bar to stabilize herself. “They’ve got contingencies upon contingencies for this sort of thing. There’s even a repelling magnet to push the ship back before crossing the landing zone.”

I gave a long frustrated sigh. Even drunk, she was on about work, now there’s someone that enjoy their job way too much. I tried to humour her and explain further.

“Well, maybe someone tampered with all that stuff. You know, to keep it off the books, as it were.”

Her head shot up and looked at me funny. That looked like a surprise and a smile all at once. Raven kissed me full on the lips and leapt off her seat.

“Oh, you are a fucking genius!” She squealed. Let’s go up to the landing dock there and check the vids!”

“Hang on a sec…” I motioned with my free hand, the other one far too busy with my drink it, which I apply took a swig from. “That’s just a theory, I never said it was true. Besides, it’s far too late for that. They’ll be off duty up there and the place will be shut down till the next shift cycle.”

“Perfect!” She said, clasping her hands excitedly.

“What?” I glared at her in my drunken stupor.

“We can scope out the place, look for the clues and maybe even get into the computers before anyone can stop us.”

It took me a minute to process that. I took another sip of my drink, eyeballed the glass, and then put it down with a long sigh.

“Raven, I’m not going to go do that. I way too tired, and too drunk to boot. I think you’re taking this new job a tad bit too seriously.” The disappointment in her face morphed quickly. I could see she wasn’t happy with my statement, going from a frown, and then right into stern glare. I tried to rephrase that a little better. “Look, it’s late, we just got off shift, and that’s a hell of a long way to go after so much alcohol in our system. And even if we did, what you’re suggesting…”

“You mean you suggested…” She rebutted.

“Okay, sure,” I conceded. “What I suggested, fine… we might possibly be exceeding our authority in doing all that. Remember, we’re only temporary detectives.”

The music in the bar conveniently shifted from loud-in-your-face kind, to the soft-and-lets make out kind. She seemed to consider my words for a minute, glancing at the patrons slow dancing with each other and making out (rather overly), and tapped her glass in hand with a steady rhythm. It would have been great if it matched the music, but, no. Raven sighed and placed her drink back on the bar.

“Maybe you’re right.”

I nodded back. “Yes, yes I am.”

She came close to me, place her hand on my arm, and gazed at me intently. Woo, I felt like there was a big ol’ kiss heading my way, possibly turning this night into something a bit better––nope. Before I knew it, she hoisted me away from the bar, causing me to drop my precious drink, and muscled me along side with her as she left the place.

“But, maybe I’m right too.” She said, grumbling under breath. “Let’s go do that thing that you said, and that I want to actually do. Come on, partner!”

Nothing draws attention like seeing a woman dragging an unwilling man out of a bar. Like a two year old not wanting to leave a birthday party, I caused a scene that would have made any parent roll their eyes and spank the bottom of that spoiled brat. That would have been kinky if she did… but, no such luck. I even tried to hold onto the side of the door frame just before we exited out. Raven applied her knee to my testicles and I crumbled like a really dried out cake. Yes, I’m aware that allegory wasn’t the best, but hey, who’s telling the story here, huh? The point is, she dragged my ass out that semi-nice bar, and into something we should never have done in the first place.

Looking back on it now, I think that was the biggest mistake she ever made. I shouldn’t have gone out for drinks with her. At least we would have been safe and not in that horrible situation afterwards. Oh, sorry, I think I’m getting ahead of myself here. That’s why you’d never want me to read you a book, I’d probably be the guy skipping to the end and ruining it all for you. Fine, I’ll try to restrain my usual habits, just for you, okay? Let’s just leave it here with her dragging me along the ground by the ankle as we headed to the elevator. I know you’re laughing at this point getting a mental image of it, so I’ll wait until your done and then we can get back to my story here. Ah, fuck it, I need a pee break, be back in a jiffy.