“Where is Mister Squeck?” The Doppleganger said, looking back at Jaime and reaching behind himself and making sure the door was completely shut.
“What?” Was the only reply Jamie could voice, staring in shock as the doppelganger shifted his weight.
I should really work out, I’d look way better dropping ten or twenty pounds.
“I know you’re here Mister Squeck. I figured something was up with you staying here so long, shame for you I avoided looking into it.” The man called out while pulling an odd black device out of an oversized jacket pocket. The doppelganger was looking around again and seemed to be listening for something.
“You know the rules, I announced and called out, you’re missing your chance to come peacefully.” The doppelganger shifted the device to hold it like a gun, except instead of a barrel there was a black cube on top of the grip. It was apparent the man was keeping his back to the wall and analyzing everything he was taking in.
Jamie looked around, the phone and belt now hanging at his sides.
“What’s going on.” He said, trying to sort out why a stranger that looked like himself was in his place so late on a Tuesday night. Is that me. A healthy me. Does healthy me not have to work tomorrow? Is this like scrooge where one of us is seeing what could have been? Does that mean I’m the bad example or is he the bad example? I’ve got to be the bad example, he thought looking down at himself. He was twenty-eight and had fell asleep in only boxers on his couch since he managed to get pizza sauce on his clothes after getting home from his job at a video game shop. He wasn’t even the manager, even though he was at least five years older than any other employee there. Jamie’s mind was going in all sorts of directions.
“I’m special agent Jay, and you’ve been harboring a fugitive for at least the last 3 days. I’m here to bring him into custody. Since I don’t believe you were aware, you are not being charged. I can’t say anything further about it.” The man replied while going to one knee, eyes scanning around. The doppelganger, Jay, then began to crouch walk with his back to the wall into the kitchen.
“What?” Jamie replied, staring at the man with a confused expression. Jay had reached the edge of the kitchen that met the front wall of the house, leaving a trail of water from the door. There was a pause as Jay reached for the first cabinet under the counter, still in half crouch. Taking a deep breath, Jay snapped open the cabinet door while simultaneously moving back as though he expected something to attack him.
Who would hide in a kitchen cabinet? Jamie thought to himself, with a now thoroughly confused expression showing on his face.
Jay didn’t respond as he angled to get a better view in and down the row of connected cabinets, glancing up intermittently towards the counter and cupboards above and to the rest of the room, keeping his back towards the wall. Jamie watched as Jay repeated the process down the row of cabinets to the stove, and then crouch walked backwards so his back was against the wall again.
“What are you doing?” Jamie asked, not having moved since his doppelganger had come in. Jay didn’t answer, instead standing and reaching to snap the first cupboard open, again moving backwards as he did. While the cabinets under the counter had been empty, the cupboards were where Jamie kept the bit of food along with the few dishes and bowls he had.
Jay pulled out plastic wrapped containers of ramen one by one with his left hand, shaking each, while keeping the device trained inside the cupboard with his right. Emptying the first cupboard onto the counter, constantly looking around and back to the cupboard, waiting for something, still not saying anything further. He moved to the next cupboard, out came boxes of knock-off macaroni and cheese, one at a time, shaking each and glancing at them. After he was satisfied with one, he would put it into the first cupboard that had remained open but was now empty of ramen.
Why is he pulling out my things one at a time and putting them in a different cupboard. And why is he even looking in cupboards for a fugitive. Jamie thought about asking Jay, but ultimately decided against it. If crazy doppelganger doesn’t want to talk, probably for the best. He looked down at his phone. It was off again. Won’t even stay on long enough to make a call or take a picture. Jamie looked back up from the dead phone to see Jay shake the last box of macaroni and cheese.
Jay moved to the next cupboard and flung it open. Out came Jamie’s bag of Corn Krispies, the knock off cereal he had just opened yesterday. Just as Jamie opened his mouth to say something, Jay shook it, little puff cereal went everywhere. It didn’t seem to phase Jay though, as he dropped the bag on the counter
“You’re disgusting Squeck.” Jay called out, glancing at Jamie and motioning up to the area the cereal had come from. “See that, he pooped by your Krispies,” not commenting on the fact that there was now cereal all over the floor and kitchen.
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As Jay reached for the next bag off generic cereal, which was fortunately not opened, Jamie went from the couch to the counter to get a better view. It looked like there might be a few black dots, maybe mouse poop, in the cupboard the cereal had been in. Then he looked down at the mess on his floor, realizing it was probably close to a third of an hour’s pay spread across his floor in the form of cereal.
Okay, psycho has to go, Jamie thought, trying to come up with a way to tell him to leave. Doesn’t even have a gun. “Umm,” was all Jamie got out as some movement by the coffee pot caught his eye, followed by a rather unmanly scream as a small rodent jumped and squeaked.
Multiple things seemed to happen at the same time. Just as Jamie’s girlish scream pierced the air he jumped back. Jay started to turn from the cabinet and the mouse started to run at Jamie. While Jamie was jumping away, Jay was in motion, aiming his device and firing it. From the black cube a ball shot forward, seeming to open into a metal net with sparks jumping off it. As the metallic net hit the coffee pot it seemed to have electricity jumping through it for a split second before Jay was giving chase across the kitchen floor. The coffee pot exploded and the outlet sparked. Jamie’s brain was trying to play catch up, but was distracted by the mouse appearing to be zigzagging with an occasional jump. Even more impressive was that it seemed to be going from all fours to running on its back legs. Jamie swore he saw it do a roll to the side, all while dashing towards the edge of the counter. Just as the mouse reached the edge and jumped off Jay was going over the counter and had caught up.
All Jamie could do was shout and point.
“Rat!”
While it wasn’t his proudest moment, it was slightly better than the scream he had reflexively let out. While he didn’t think he could be any more surprised, his shout seemed to cause the mouse and doppelganger named Jay to each spin to look at him.
“What is wrong with you?” Jay asked incredulously, as he pointed the device towards the mouse and squeezed, causing another metal net to shoot at the mouse, electricity arcing before hitting the mouse.
“Mister Squeck, I apologize for variant SL37’s hate language. Please know I do not support it and will include it in my report.” Jay said as he walked over to the mouse that was now spasming under the metal net as sparks jumped. Jay squeezed the handle of his device again as he bent over, and the cracks of electric stopped. The mouse was now still aside from the occasional spasm of a leg, laying on its side under a metal net. Less than ten seconds later Jay had the mouse shoved in a plastic cylinder with a locking lid while the net and device had disappeared back into his pocket. Then he stood, went to the counter and grabbed the other metallic net that had destroyed Jamie’s coffee pot.
“You should be ashamed of yourself for using such derogatory and hateful language. Even if you feel that way, you shouldn’t vocalize it.” Jay angrily pointed and yelled. “Argh. You have no idea how much paperwork I’m going to have to do now,” he said shaking his head. He looked back at Jamie with a disgusted look for a moment before starting for the door.
Jamie watched as Jay was reaching the front door, still unsure of what transpired in the last few minutes. “What?” was all he could utter.
Jay glanced over from opening the front door and paused.
“Are you just dumb?” He asked, taking in the image of Jamie in boxers, phone in one hand and belt held by buckle in the other. “Well… I guess that’s a bit better than being a hateful prick.” He said to himself as he opened the door and looked around outside, rain beating inwards at him. Seeing no one outside, Jay flipped up his hood, pulled out what looked like a phone and began rapidly tapping on the screen with his thumb, still holding the cylinder containing the mouse in his left.
“I’m not dumb.” Jamie mumbled, staring at the man.
“Not saying it to be mean.” Jay paused and looked over. “But look at yourself. A stranger is breaking into your apartment, and you grabbed a belt. Then, you swing it like a flail, but the only metal part that you could do anything with is the buckle that is in your hand, not the end being swung. Not that you should close on an unknown intruder without having a ranged weapon to begin with. But you probably wouldn’t even use one correctly. Can’t even figure out to swing the heavy end of the belt. Even if you had a gun, you’d probably just go about trying to beat someone to death with it instead of shooting them, probably shoot yourself. You stopped trying to use your phone to call for help and just stared at me. You can’t seem to get a grasp of the situation and must have said ‘what’ five times. Finally, you called a mouse by their primitive ancestors, which is the equivalent of a hate crime. It would be the same as mister Squeck here calling you a neanderthal before biting you.” He said, while raising up the plastic container with mouse inside. If that hadn’t been bad enough, he kept up, though now having lost some steam. “I honestly don’t even know how you’re allowed to live on your own. What happened to you? Did you get hit in the head a few extra times? Was it drugs? Did you eat some paint as a kid? I mean, really, how are we so different.” Jay said, sounding a bit sad as he turned back to the doorway and focused on the device in hand.
Jamie stared at the man, mouth starting to open to say something, before closing again. I mean, being called a neanderthal isn’t that bad is it, he thought. As Jamie looked on, he could tell the doorway started to look different, with slight distortions beginning to appear in the air.
Jay stopped tapping on his device and stood up straighter with a sigh. “I encourage you to forget this happened. Please understand that should the PD feel you are at risk of creating anomalies that you may be placed into custody. Alternatively, should it not be feasible to place you into custody, they may determine an alternate approach. These actions will be determined solely by the PD and will be carried out as deemed fit for the safety and preservation of line SL37.” He recited before pausing and looking over at Jamie.
“Do not, under any circumstances, go through this door for at least 30 seconds after I leave.” Jay said before turning back to the front door and walking into the storm outside.
Like I’m going to follow doppelganger me into a storm on a cold dark night or tell anyone about this. Of course, because any good comes from that. Sure, follow mean me and the fugitive mouse into a storm and somehow wind up not being buried underground or someone finding pieces of my body in a ditch somewhere. Feel free to warn me against drinking from a toilet while you’re at it psycho. Going to have to clean up all this water here now too if I want my deposit back, Jamie thought as he walked over to the front door.
The carpet squelched as it was saturated from Jay’s earlier antics and the rain coming in through the still open door. The cold water coming up between Jamie’s toes more as he closed on the door. He reached the tile floor of the small entryway, which was also covered in cold water. As he grabbed the door to shut it, he heard a noise from behind him and turned. Seeing a mouse running at him from his bedroom, Jamie let out his second unmanly scream of the night as he slipped on the wet tile, falling down onto his butt. The mouse running right at him causing him to quickly scramble backwards without realizing he was going out the front door. The mouse reached him, ran over his leg, and took off along the wall of townhomes.
“What are you doing, get back inside!” Jay shouted, as he looked to where the scream had come from.
Jamie looked from where the mouse had run off, then towards Jay who was starting to run back at him, and then finally back at the doorway. Just as he was starting to stand up, distortions formed again for a few seconds and then were gone. Now, instead of seeing his open doorway, there was a closed door in front of him.