65. Mental: Tabitha

I am hoping when we pass through Kulle I will get to meet this mysterious Lieutenant Kelda. She sounds a bit young for Wiremu. I know they are about the same age, but in life experience he has had a hard life and she sounds sheltered and spent her life wrapped in wool. I guess the army will knock that out of her in due course. I will reserve judgement until I meet her.

One of my goals for the trip to Hrothgar is to increase my Sword Skills. I didn’t really have the strength when I first started with the sword, but I have invested over ten points into Physical Strength since then. It should be plenty for the sword even though I am still weak compared to Skavt and the twins. The twins are sword users, especially Drugič. They shouldn’t have a problem training their boss. I really like Drugič, she and I could have a lot of fun picking on Wiremu.

I bought a new sword to use. I still have my brother Warren’s sword, but this one is better quality and better suited for me. Identify tells me that the Duel Wield Skill is close. It apparently takes a minimum of 20 Physical Strength, 30 Physical Agility and 30 Mental Agility. I am short one point in Mental Agility and look at that, I have one point available to spend. All I have to do now is practice to trigger the skill. I am thinking of practising with two knives, and with a sword and a knife. My Physical Agility is my highest attribute and this will make good use of it and my Spatial Awareness should make it absolutely amazing.

I am not sleeping well. I used to lie awake thinking of Warren, but now Eyslk and a host of others keep me awake as well. It is Mental Strength that keeps me going, but it doesn’t take away from the pain and emotions surrounding what I have done or not done, and people I have not kept safe or not helped. Especially Eyslk. I used to keep myself busy so I didn’t think about it, but now I am faced with long hours on the road with nothing else to occupy my mind. Maybe Hrothgar will have a Mental specialist who can help me. I have done some terrible things. Things I would never have dreamed of doing when I left Yelets. Cold blooded murder, and not just of those who I thought deserved it either. Torture. I let Nyx suck the life out of someone! I am a terrible person. Only Wiremu knows everything I have done. I don’t know how he can stand to be around me. I really need more attribute points as I need to bolster my Mental Strength or I will lose it. I am good at hiding things now. Mimic is almost Journeyman Level.

Wiremu is off doing his own scouting. I don’t know why he has not got the specialisation as a Scout. He must be missing something. More likely he never thought about it and never put some dedicated effort into it. I might remind him as the extra attributes and specialised Skills are always useful. Even though his Prospecting Class has sat at 2 for months he still got 8 attributes for it and Treasure Sense. I think he needs a boot in the backside.

He is likely to boot me back if I don’t look at my own Skills and Classes. I think I really want a Class that will help people. Like Healer, except I don’t really want to be around sick people. I made a lot of money in the last few months, maybe I could give some to charity. That just feels like not enough. I want to do something to help, you know, mitigate for some of my bad stuff.

Killing goblins helps people. I think I have had enough killing for a while. That was part of the reason for this trip. To get away from killing. Hopefully by the end of this trip Merchant will be at Journeyman level and I can see what specialisations are available. Looking at my classes most of them are around making coins, both legally and illegally. A small bit of effort on my part and I could get the Burglar Specialisation like Nijel. Nothing around here to burgle. I could probably get the Grifter Specialisation as well although that is very close to Racketeer. When Specialisations are close like that the experience goes to the existing class rather than unlocking a new one. I don’t know why.

I wonder if there is a god out there? The Empire had a state religion with priests. I always assumed it was a scam and a way to control people. I don’t know if Priest was just what they were called or if it was a Class. If it was a Class would that mean there was a god or gods? Jern didn’t have a temple or anything. Maybe there is only Wiremu’s fish god that he curses when he can’t go fishing.

This is called mental distraction and this is only the first day on the road. I need a proper distraction so I speed up Dusk in order to catch the twins. They will be my main training partners.

“Hi ya,” I greet them.

They nod back with smiles.

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“So here's a question,” I started. “Is there a god?”

They look at each other, then Najprej says, “You have just broken one of the primary rules of being in a caravan. It is the first day. You are not allowed to get bored and ask existential questions until at least the second half of the trip. It’s a rule!”

“Really?” I ask in disbelief. They both nod. “Are there a lot of rules like this I don’t know about?”

“Hundreds,” said Drugič, “but don’t worry, we will teach you!”

I knew they were the right people to come to for a distraction. After all it’s a Journeyman level Skill of mine.

I survived the first day. The second day we travelled up and down the caravan looking at the other people for potential hookups for the trip. That's another rule. What happens on a caravan stays on the caravan. It is quite common to find someone, or multiple someones, to make the trip more interesting. I never knew the importance of the size and shape of the tusk in Orc standards of beauty. Fascinating. My Sentient Lore Skill went up. The twins found it fascinating that I was rating the females as well as the males. Maybe I helped raise their Lore as well.

At sparring on the third day I got the Dual Wield Skill. It was as good as I thought it would be. We were due in Kulle that afternoon. We would have a full day's break there to rest the horses. I think it was actually because the army was there and a lot of the merchants had things to sell to them.

We camped outside Kulle. I sold all the ale, except two kegs for the trip. I seriously didn’t need to make money on this trip. In fact we could live very well for the rest of our lives. But that is not the merchant way, or the code of the thief. Yes I made a profit on the ale. I sold a few other bits and pieces for a good price. Good for me that is. It was enough to tip Merchant to Level 9. One more to Journeyman level.

I did have the conversation with Wiremu about the Scout class. He hadn’t realised and two days of determined Scouting later, he had another Specialisation and the Mapping Skill. Yes! I finally one upped him on skill advice! He was hoping to see the Lieutenant while he was here, “Just to check on her Skills, of course,” but civilians were not allowed in the camp and he was not on contract anymore. He sent word in but the camp was in a busy state because they were expecting another Platoon to arrive. He basically wasted the whole day off waiting to see if she would arrive, but to no avail. We left at dawn the following day.

The second day on the road after Kulle we passed the incoming Platoon. There was an important looking Elf with them. The rumour was that he was an Air Affinity user. I don’t put too much stock in rumours, but he certainly thought he was important.

There was a moderately sized town called Halvvägs about halfway to Hrothgar and we would spend two nights there. It was then a full seven day run to Hrothgar with no stops longer than overnight. Training every morning with Modrica was doing my Unarmed Combat the world of good. It hit Journeyman level before we got to Halvvägs. I am pretty sure Wiremu’s did as well. My Sword was up to Level 8, so progress was showing and slowing on all of them.

Wiremu suggested I talk to Ört about what I might learn to do that is good, or at least not negative. Ört suggested I look into learning a craft, to make something with my hands. I am not sure about that. I think I would rather make coin and buy whatever it is. He had other suggestions, like drawing or painting or learning a musical instrument. The musical instrument idea caught my interest. There were a couple of musicians in the caravan. One played a mouth organ thing and the other a stringed instrument called a Lute. The Lute interested me, the basics seemed easy enough and the Lutist was keen to show me. She let me have a go on her Lute and showed me some simple chords and a simple song. She thought I had quite a nice singing voice too. Then we snuck off together and had one of those interesting times that stays with the caravan. We would often meet and practise the Lute and sing together along with some other fun. She drove a wagon for one of the other Merchants based out of Hrothgar and I would join her on her wagon some days and we would chat and she would teach me a new song or way of playing.

Halvvägs was a mining and smelting town. Not a very pleasant place to be. I picked up a load for my half empty wagon. A small mining company had a load of metal they needed to deliver to some crafters in Hrothgar so I took the contract for a fixed cartage fee. My last name is Carter so I guess one of my ancestors used to cart goods? Funny that I get a last name from some ancestor’s job, yet Wiremu gets a last name from his first Class. Here in Kirghiz no one seems to have last names. Lieutenant Kelda is just Kelda. I don’t know what they do if there are two Keldas. Now that my Sentient Lore is Apprentice Level I think it is prompting these sorts of questions.

I managed to find a Lute in Halvvägs so some evenings we would play duets and she would teach me different ways to make music. The Mimic Skill was very handy in helping me learn to play the Lute. I would Mimic what she did until I had it in muscle memory. It made the trip very pleasant and the time pass quicker. I was feeling lighter in myself as well. I asked if she wanted a job with the Elemental Traders, but she had a family in Hrothgar to get to and only took the occasional travelling job. It was what I needed and she enjoyed it as well. Nearing Hrothgar my Lute Skill was Level 6 and I got a Skill called Performance. I wasn’t really performing, we were just all singing together around the campfire.