After my nose adapts to the smell of my ‘rose scented’ people -i mean you’d think they would cover the latrine holes at this point, thankfully being a minor chief’s son has some privileges, such as being able to shit privately in a proper latrine-
I start my way towards the entrance to the tribe, which amounts to two rough doors of wooden planks nailed together, with rope hinges and rope lock on the other side connecting them, a real ‘stalwart’ defence, as well as a somewhat dubiously made wooden tower that peeks just over the wall.
I prepare my ears but it’s of little use when the grating voice of Gryf the Gate-guard.
“HAAAALT” he screeches, his adolescent voice breaking and adding to the already metal on metal grating quality of his voice.
“WHO GOES THERE” ugh Gortan has his voice actually gotten worse from yesterday?
“it’s Tevclan who the fuck do you think it is, open the gate!” I shout
“hold on I need to go ask elder drosk” aw for fuck
“OPEN THE GATE NOW, OR I BEAT YOU TO A BLOODY PULP WHEN I GET IN THERE GRYF” the last thing I need is that old goat finding out I’ve been drinking with humans again,
then getting a lecture about how “Goblins should be proud to be independent of the human menace”
while he’s standing on an offal covered road, surrounded by stick huts and hasn’t washed in so long crusty doesn’t just describe his age.
Sure there are some humans who don’t wash regularly, but they’re usually frowned upon not revered as some sort of smelling font of wisdom.
Anyway, I digress, it seems that my threat worked as soon after I shout I can hear someone untying the knot behind the gate until unceremoniously they swing inward and I stroll through,
“Gryf” I say
“yes?” The cowering goblin responds, his 3 foot 9 inch stature cowering under my relative height, holding onto his small iron tipped spears for dear life,
“let me into the gate without fuss from now on or I swear to Gortan I will get my dad to assign you to latrine digging duty for the foreseeable future, do you understand”
His face pales even further as he responds “understood”
“Good, now get back up that tower” I say as I walk away, entering the settlement is always an experience in and of itself.
one upside of the lack of organisation of the tribe is that there’s never a dull moment, to and outsider it would seem like absolute chaos but as the years go by bye you start to recognise certain things.
For example, as I walked into the tribe there are two pot-bellied goblins rolling across the ‘road’ and at first glance this may seem like a couple of drunks toughing it out, but a more deliberating eye notes the state of half dress of one of them and the blushing goblin maid on the outskirts of the fight, it is then a greater picture of a cuckold getting his revenge reveals itself.
And another might perhaps be forgiven for thinking that the tables set up outside of a tent with patrons drinking at it as a pub, but it’s in fact an illegal moonshine seller that’s set up in the square. And the local chiefs guards aren’t shutting it down because of the simple fact that they’re the ones drinking at it.
You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.
Passing by the illicit taproom I immediately head to the grand (comparatively) hut at the centre of this separation of the tribe, with the path towards it actually cobbled and it having metal hinges and door handle on the door, plus four small rough glass windows and the skull of a wolf at either side of the door.
It’s almost opulent comparatively.
As I enter the building I’m greeted by my youngest elder brother Gromsk.
“Alright Tev- what happened to you!?”
“I fought a forest” I replied.
you see if I walked into any other house in this tribe they wouldn’t care about me being covered in cuts and sick, but with me and my 8 brothers and 5 sisters cleanliness was instilled into us by our half-elf mother (don’t ask how she’s half elven she gets terribly offended) from our birth, with the only one escaping that being my father although he is a bit less grimy than the other goblins thanks to her.
“you better get in the bath before mum catches you looking like that or she’ll smack you with the ladle again, and then dad’ll beat you blue for getting her worked up” he explained with a smirk
“sounds about right, where is it now?” I ask as I see his smirk widen into an amused grin.
“It’s in Jalveta’s room” Awh for fuck sakes.
“thanks” I say “this’ll be interesting” Gromsk simply walks away chuckling
Jalveta is….. to say it diplomatically… a complete arsehole of unrivalled proportion, truly a master at the art of being a complete prick despite the lack of one.
Not the type of pull your hair and run away type of prick but the lets break dad’s favourite shortsword intentionally and stick the remains under Tevclan’s bed kind of prick.
And that was just last week, the old man still hasn’t properly forgiven me for my transgression.
If I were to take the beating would it be better than this confrontation?
Quite a difficult one there, but in the end dealing with Jalveta came as the easier alternative, mom wielded a really heavy ladle. From the front door I go right and down the dark, undressed wooden floor hallway until I reach the last of four rooms at the end of it.
I knock on the door. “come in”, as you enter jalveta’s room the first thing you always notice is the sheer amount of animal skulls dotting her room as trophies, with her as one of the clans hunters, and as much as I hate to admit it she is one of the best in the tribe.
In the room as I entered is Jalveta facing her back to me while Fletching some arrows.
The small wooden tub sitting in the center of the room
“Jalveta I need to borrow the bath”
“Oh.. If I knew it was you I would have blocked the door, what do you want, Stumpy?”
“I’m only two inches shorter than you, and like I just said I need to take the tub”
“From the smell of you you’ll need it, but why would I give it to you exactly, rather than let mum see you and laugh at you getting battered?”
“Sisterly love?” I responded
“Not a chance” she barked back in a laugh.
“Yep, I figured that, right, what do I need to do to get the tub back” Just speaking to her is starting to return my hangover headache
“Wait what?” she turned around regarding me with surprise “oh my god you actually look worse than you smell, though that is the usual case with you” she said as she pinched her nose.
She looks pensive for a moment, a weird look on her, she gazing around the room looking for something, until her eyes landed on a small wicker box about the length of my forearm, she picks it up and hands it to me.
“This is filled with money I’ve been saving, I know you’re buying a long knife from Trovund, I want one as well”
“Hold on a minute why not just buy it yourself?, We’re not humans, no one expects you to settle down have a million brats and tend the garden. I replied confused.
“Quite frankly I don’t think that involves you, so will you do it or will I go call mother?”
“Right fine I’ll go just keep hush alright. Last thing I need is a lecture right now”
I drag the wooden tub as quietly back to my room as possible, dragging the thick wooden tub throughout the hallway while silently swearing at the foor as it creaked at every small movement. boil some water and fill the tub. Drop my clothes and steep myself into the scalding water.
Ahhhhhh…….. as the soothing warmth from the water washed over me my eyes slowly drift close.