With my breath held, I hid in the shadowed corner beside the vanity. The servants scurried past me, and scrambled to search another part of the Astana. The rattle of their footsteps on the bamboo floors faded, and I exhaled in a burning rush. As long as I held my breath, I blended unseen into shadows, a small magical ability that I had been born with.

I had merely tried it on impulse, when I had heard the servants climb my tower chamber. Where they had expected to find a silk-wrapped, ornamented princess, they had seen only an empty seat. They rushed in and out without catching me. Could it be possible that if I kept quiet and timed my breaths, they wouldn't find me? And if they didn't find me, I wouldn't have to leave, would I?

The sailors at the harbor would grumble about the wait. The chancellors would have to find another human tribute to send to Shengxin; a girl pretty and well-bred enough, but won't be missed too much by her family. Thereafter, what would I do and where would I go?

A soft voice brushed away my racing thoughts. "Saren?" My mother scaled the ladder into the chamber awkwardly, several paperback books tucked under her arm and one of her hands clenched around a small satin pouch.

"Mama!" I huffed exasperatedly, helping her up. There was a chair with hoists operated by servants that could be used to ascend into and descend from the chamber, but she almost never used it. "It's a wonder you haven't gotten injured climbing that ladder."

My mother, the lady Anaiz, waved off the chiding with a chuckle, straightening her clothes. The skirts we wore here in the Seventeenth Domain of Silang flared out only slightly, forcing us into small and lady-like motions. "Oh, I can manage. I didn't want to trouble the servants."

"That's what they're there for," I muttered.

My mother didn't seem to hear me, leading me to the cushions at the sitting area, a low table a few steps away from my bed. The princess tower was but a square chamber of bamboo, installed on top of the Astana, the residence of the Rajah and the Hara of the Seventeenth Domain of Silang. The trapdoor leading to the lower floors was in the center, and at each of the four sides were the vanity and the bed, where both my mother and I slept; the sitting area; the wardrobe and dressing area; and my study desk. The hanging tapestries were clean, though worn, and the intricate carvings on the furniture abraded. There was a window by the sitting area and another by the desk, both barely large enough for me to lean on. The narrowness was meant to protect me from spying eyes and snatching hands, but all it actually did was block the sea breeze and accumulate the suffocating heat.

Holding one my hands, my mother gazed at me with misty eyes. She traced the patterns of gold-plated buttons on my red silk blouse, smoothened the matching layered skirts, and stroked my head through the red veil, an embroidered and beaded confection of lace. "You're the most beautiful bride, my child."

I adjusted the brocade drape hanging from my shoulder to cover my embellished blouse. "I'm not a bride."

She nodded appeasingly and placed the books she was carrying on my lap. "I thought you might want books for the journey. You loved these stories so much and mastered the Sheng language from reading them again and again."

I scoffed, shuffling the frayed, stitch-bound volumes, the covers adorned with woodblock prints of dragons surrounded by peach blossoms. I had been happy to receive books filled with wondrous tales and felt proud to have found something I excelled at. Even then, I was probably already being groomed to be the tribute. "I don't need these."

"But you'll definitely need these," she said, opening the pouch to reveal the contents.

The wind was knocked out of me at the sight of the black pearls; a necklace festooned with three strands, chandelier earrings, studded bangles. This set of jewelry was the only thing my mother had received as the concubine of the prince of the Seventeenth Domain. As for me, all the man had given me was the memory of being left in the charity of the Rajah and the Hara as he gallivanted off, to be whispered about by the nobles and jeered at by the servants when my royal grandparents weren't around to hear. I swallowed a lump in my throat.

I ducked away from her hands. "You don't have to give me anything."

"I should at least bequeath you with jewelry, it's a mother's duty."

"Mama, just keep them. I don't want them."

She smiled sheepishly. "I know they're not very grand, but..."

"That's not--" I paused, sighing, and she quickly hooked the earrings in my ears. "They don't even go with my gown." That was the least of my concerns. The pearls were the most valuable thing that my mother owned, and she owned precious little of value.

"You can wear them when you have a suitable gown. An imperial concubine must have an array of jewelries after all." She finished setting the pearls and looked me over with even brighter eyes.

"I'm not going to be an imperial concubine. I'm from a tributary of little consequence. I'd be lucky if Shengxin assigns me as waiting maid instead of the laundry room."

"Your Aunt Meliza was once a maid, but now she's one of the Emperor's favored concubines."

I bristled at the mention of that woman. "She calls herself Mingzhu now… the Consort Mei."

She continued, as if not noticing my disdain. "She was always the smartest among my sisters. And you're as smart, and a princess on top of that. The Crown Prince will welcome you into his harem."

"Not just a princess. A dayang-dayang, a princess of the highest rank," I mumbled. But what did that matter? The title didn't serve me much here in my homeland, it certainly would mean less in a foreign land. And I wasn't convinced being a harem lady was much better than being a maid, anyway. "You must be happy that I'm leaving. You no longer have to cook for me, or worry about stretching the stipend for my upkeep, or clean the chamber when the maids neglect to do it."

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For a minute, I thought that varnished smile would peel off my mother's face. But she leaned closer to kiss the top of my veiled head. "I wish we didn't have to part. But I'm glad that you could have a chance at a better life, in a prosperous country."

With a shaky breath, I tried to quell the stinging in my eyes and the burning lump in my throat. "It's also possible to live a decent life here. If only I had agreed to a marriage offer when I was younger, instead of being left with no option but to be sent as tribute. If only my father were a good man and had been named the heir of the Seventeenth Domain, we would've had secured our place in the Astana. If only you hadn't eloped with him, didn't give birth to me, you would've had a better life--"

"No, no… That's not true at all," my mother said firmly, cradling my face between her hands. "You're the shining light of my life, and faced with the choice again, I'll always choose to be your mother."

I wanted to lay my head on her lap, as I had when I was a child, and I would've, if not for the rough grasp tugging me to my feet.

"There you are!" a young man hissed at my ear.

I didn't even hear him enter the chamber. Perturbed, I tried to snatch back my wrist but his grip was firm. "Let go. I'm a dayang-dayang. Who do you think you are to touch me?"

"I mean no disrespect, dayang-dayang." He dipped his head in a perfunctory bow. This mercenary, Talluan, was even more irritating for the fact that he was Consort Mei's hire. "It's because you're a lofty princess that I'm here. Precious cargo must be guarded after all."

He was a handspan taller, but I turned up my chin to glare at him in the eye. "You're trespassing in the private chamber of a lady. Leave before I call the guards on you."

The corners of his mouth quirked in a mirthless grin. "The guards themselves asked me to find the tribute, who I'm told has a penchant for disappearing into the shadows. The vinta has been ready for departure since sunrise, the Astana is in an uproar, and most importantly, the Rajah and Hara are waiting to see their darling granddaughter off at the harbor."

"But--" I found myself deposited on the seat of the lift. "Mama!" I reached for her, but instead of her hand, she gave me the books that had been left behind as Talluan had dragged me away.

He smirked at the childish covers. "Why bother with tall tales of dragons, your new master is a prince from the bloodline of dragonslayers."

I bit back a retort; what a strange thing the Sheng royals bragged about, a world with dragons would've been more interesting.

He leaped like a cat to the floor below the trapdoor to seize me off the lowered seat. I dug my heels and stumbled when he yanked my arm.

"Don't worry, dear, I'll walk with you." My mother was hoisted down as well, but Talluan stepped between us.

"The Lady can see you off at the harbor," he said, motioning the guards to flank us as he march me down the tower into the main halls. The floors were still bamboo, though the supporting beams were hardwood, and the chambers light and airy, opening to the wrap-around balconies. Here too, the woven tapestries were faded, and the lacquer on the bamboo and wood was crumbling. Today, the staff stared at me, instead of past me, as I was ushered out of the Astana.

The light of the sun high in the sky made me wince, accustomed as I was to my dim chamber. The entire Astana was raised at least one storey off the ground by massive stilts, and my feet barely touched the steps as Talluan hauled me down the steep split staircase.

I was led into a roofless bamboo palanquin that put me on display, carried through the dirt paths of the town. I doubted much had been said about my looks--my mother was hailed as a beauty yet I resembled my father--yet the people gathered for the rare sighting of their princess. They seemed gratified, tittering about my dazzling gown, my eyes looking bigger and sharper with kohl, and my skin fair and unblemished from my cloister in the tower.

The long-handled parasol that a maid held over my head as I was jostled to the harbor didn't offer much shade, but I tried not to squint, taking in this view that I couldn't see from my square chamber. The press of people was overwhelming, so I turned my gaze outwards; to the stilted bamboo houses that became smaller and cruder as I was carried further away from the Astana, the market stalls laden with clay jars and curved swords, vibrant weaves and bronze chimes. Through the smell of sweat and sun, wafted the odor of fish, the fragrance of jasmine oil, the sweetness of rice cakes. I wanted to grab one, the kind steamed in bamboo, the taste of it remembered on my tongue.

A rainbow of sails filled my vision as the harbor came into view; I cast about for my mother, who gasped to keep up with the palanquin. "Mama--where will you go now?" My chamber would be dismantled, now that there was no longer an unmarried princess kept in the Astana.

"I'll go to my birth family's house--I'll be able to care for your other grandmother."

I clenched my jaw. That would be a fine job for an abandoned concubine--to take care of an ailing old woman, in the family that sneered at her supposed failure to keep her prince.

The palanquin was set down and Talluan grabbed my arm to help me out, but I grasped my mother's hand. "But that would be too laborious, isn't there anyone to help you? Maybe... maybe you can stay in the Astana, somehow..."

"Don't worry about me," she assured, her bright smile still beautiful despite the collected years on her once flower-like face. "Live well, be happy--"

I remembered then to crack a smile, but Talluan yanked me away and my mother was swallowed by the crowd. Feeling the books slipping from my sweaty hands, I hid them in the folds of my drape. I was escorted before a platform on stilts, where the Rajah and Hara sat on cushioned chairs.

"You've grown into a lovely young woman, our granddaughter. Come, let us see your face." the Rajah instructed.

I stifled a snort; many women were veteran housewives past twenty years old, with several children for show. Schooling my face, I raised my head.

The chancellors seated around the Rajah and Hara were fidgeting. Many of them had attempted to present their sons or grandsons as my suitors--and a possible heir for the seat of Rajah--but when I proved unwilling to serve their purpose, they united in the suggestion to send me to Shengxin. I swept an impassive stare along them before I bowed to my grandparents. "Thank you, your Grace."

"I know you'll not only bring honor to our House, but find a place more meaningful and fulfilling for you," the Hara said. I could tell she meant it, but it gave me no comfort.

She motioned for a servant, who placed a leather pouch in my hands. I could tell from the reassuring weight that it was filled with taels.

"Thank you, your Grace. I'll carry the name of House Sug with care." I knotted the pouch of silver to the underside of my drape with the books.

Talluan offered his arm as I stepped through the parting crowd, to the plank leading to the vinta. It was far longer and wider than any other docked at the harbor; with several cabins, and sails in purple and gold. It must be the royal vinta, Mussa Sug. They were sending me on the best vessel of the Seventeenth Domain--although, it was to be expected, after all it would be returning with gifts from the Sheng Emperor, in acknowledgement of their receipt of the tribute.

I climbed into the boat, and the noise from the crowd coalesced into a single call of dayang-dayang, dayang-dayang. They cheered when I turned back to finally look at them, but also at the beach bordered with palm trees, the white-laced waves lapping at the shore, the cloud-wreathed mountains beyond the town, the clear sky. The land of my birth, the land I barely knew, the land I would leave.

I stood on the deck until the island sank under the blue horizon as the vinta sailed northwards.