After what felt like hours, Roan had finally returned to the confines of his home. He more or less plopped to his bed, his eyes tired and his face dreary. He still felt the sharp pain of a sword cutting through his chest, and mumbled to himself, “Never again.”

Roan wasn’t sure himself yet, but there was a pretty high chance he was going to develop himself as a glass cannon. Not because he wanted to get one-shotted, but because he doesn’t want to get hit in the first place.

With teleportation by his side, and the ability to become immaterial at a moment’s notice, he had all the requirements needed to become unhittable. He just lacked the reflex and reaction speed to do so.

And it’s not like I won’t develop my defenses. Roan glanced at his leather armor stored neatly in his inventory. But it’s better to not get hit and strike back with a one-hit blow.

“Not only that,” he murmured, glancing at the silver ring on his hand. “But this puppy right here sure is neat.”

Ring of Lesser Haste

Casts lesser haste on the wearer, doubling their speed for five minutes.

He had already tested it out, and it doesn’t just double your speed, it dilates time.

“A time dilating effect…” Roan guffawed at the sheer absurdity of this seemingly normal magical object. “I’m pretty sure a lesser haste spell doesn’t do that, even in a high-fantasy magical world.”

The only downside this ring had was that it had a limited number of uses per charge, and it could only recharge within the dungeon. Outside the dungeon, the ring was no better than a battery that would slowly lose its power the more it was used.

However, to dilate time? Oh please, that was more than okay.

To already warp time at the tip of my fingers. Roan grinned. Yag-Shath, you truly are powerful.

Roan had to respect the creator of the dungeon. They didn’t just serve with the game design, the monsters, and the floor layout, but their rewards were bangers. Just what kind of almighty being made that place where time-warping rings could be found on the fifth floor?

A hundred floors of this madness, and an infinite variations of this dungeon to exist across time and space. Roan shivered as he realized the sheer scale of Yag-Shath’s strength. Holy hell. I’m really tempting my luck with this one.

And did he tempt his luck good because the results were amazing.

My strength should be akin to a pro athlete already, a professional fighter’s physique. Roan flexed his muscles, enjoying the view. And if my hypothesis is correct, using Zarrok as alchemical material would hopefully provide me bountiful strength.

That was for later though, when he finally… when he finally registers for a gym.

“Damn it, should I just buy weightlifting equipment and set up in the basement?” Roan furrowed his brows before getting a much better idea. “Or maybe!”

His eyes lit up. I could just weightlift in an alternate universe!

It was genius!

He could find himself a nice island in the middle of nowhere, enjoy the scenery of nature while pumping iron, and if he was lucky enough, enjoy the pleasure of time dilation where he could train for an hour straight and barely a minute had passed in his home universe.

Just why had I been so unlucky with my parallel world travels? Roan sighed. Besides the homo-earth universe he had found, the other parallel realities he had explored were nothing out of the ordinary. One of them even had a slower flow of time, where one hour in there was two hours in here.

This had to be fixed.

“Tomorrow and on Sunday, I’ll find it,” Roan promised himself. He had to find that reality, because not only would it bring him a lot of convenience, but it would also serve as a nice universe for his base of operations.

Of course, if he was desperate, he could bunker up in the Dungeon of Yag-Shath, but Roan would much rather spend time on Earth than in a fleshy god’s creation disguised as a normal labyrinth.

For now, though, he had another thing to attend. He checked the time, this world’s time, and found that it was already five in the afternoon. Classes ended rather early on Fridays, giving him enough time to explore the dungeons, reach the fifth floor, and welcome his father back home.

Right on cue, he heard the sound of his father’s voice from downstairs, “I’m home!”

The young man hurriedly changed his clothes using the very convenient function of the inventory where he could just switch gears on the fly. From blood-covered leather armor to his everyday normal clothes, Roan rushed down the stairs and saw his father in the flesh.

It had almost been a week since he last saw his old man, and he appeared as spry as ever, with his shortly cut hair, his clean-shaven face, and his lackluster office-worker drip.

And to think he berates my choice of fashion. Roan inwardly rolled his eyes while hugging his father.

“Welcome back, Dad.” Roan smiled, pecking his father on the cheeks. While strange for others, Roan had never been shy to show affection to his parents. Well, it’s also because I saw you die and not even give birth to me in another universe.

Truly, the multiverse was wack. He still vividly remembered the overwhelming horror he felt when he realized his father was dead, and Roan was never conceptualized into existence. The more scary fact was who his mother ended up with.

My uncle. Roan hissed silently.

It’s not that he hated his uncle or that he was weird or anything, it was just weird to see his mother with another man, much less his father’s blood brother.

Though not as weird as selfcest I guess. Roan deepened his smile.

After relinquishing the hug and putting on a more comfortable outfit, his father stretched his arms and said to the rest of the family, “So, where do you guys want to eat tonight?”

This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

Ah yes, the weekly family dinner time at a fancy restaurant on a Friday eve. It was one of the major reasons why Roan loved Fridays so much, besides the fact that it was also the last day of classes for the week and he could rot in his room without worry.

“How about Edelweiss Bistro? I heard their mashed potatoes, fries, and steak there are amazing.” His mother, ever the expert on stuff like this, suggested.

Roan didn’t care much about where they should eat and was happy to eat any kind of fancy food, so he just nodded his head. On the other hand, his father was too lazy to think of anything else that they could visit and also agreed.

“Edelweiss Bistro it is.”

…

The shop was a surprisingly charming, old-fashioned place that held an antiquity vibe. It felt old, warm, and cozy to be in, with olden chairs and clothed tables. Lamps lit up the interior of the cozy restaurant, with the smell of food wafting in the air, appetizing the customers.

Roan browsed through the menu with squinted eyes, trying to look for any food that might intrigue him. For a while, he nitpicked what meal he should order, contemplating deeply.

His parents, not so much.

“Mashed potatoes, fries, fish fillets, and steak.” That was their order. They had the same order.

“Ugh.” Roan groaned, and in the end, conceded. He didn’t have enough brainpower to pick the best dish that would grace his tongue and ordered the same meal as his parents. While it left a bitter taste, Roan just had to accept it.

Now that I think about it. Roan stared at the waiters who passed by his family’s table to serve the meals of other customers. What do goblins taste like? What do gnolls taste like? The horned rabbits? The kobolds?

It was as if a bolt of lightning had struck his very soul. How could have he been so blinded to the possibilities? The gods had presented him the most outlandish meal he could take, meat from another reality, the creation of a god almighty!

His eyes shone, but he held back his urges.

I should refrain from consuming stuff from that dungeon as much as possible… but food from wacky universes aren’t off limits!

Their order was then soon served to the family of three, with the aromatic scent of potatoes, filleted fish, and cooked steak drilling into their nose. Roan felt his stomach growl, with the strenuous exploration of the dungeon leaving his belly a pit to be filled.

As the waiter bowed and left the family to their own whims, Eamon, Roan’s father, coughed and clasped his hands together.

Ava did the same, and so too was Roan.

“Thank you for the food!” the three murmured, and without further ado, grabbed their spoon and forks.

With saliva already dripping from his mouth, Roan licked his lips and drove the knife into the juicy steak.

Biting into the food, Roan was met with a pleasant barrage of taste. The mashed potatoes were nice and creamy, a bit salty as well; the fries were just chef’s kiss, crispy on the outside and soft on the inside, and he could even use the mashed potatoes as a sort of sauce; the fish fillet was tender and crispy, and the fish taste was fresh and distinct; the steak was cooked to a perfect medium rare, with juices overflowing onto the plate.

Overall, it was a nice, pleasant meal, but not something that was exceptionally amazing.

Bzzt.

He felt his phone buzz just as he put down his utensils, catching the young man’s attention.

Who sent me a message? Roan expected either Ethan or Daniel to have messaged him, but it was actually his club’s coach.

“Mister Anton?” Roan murmured as he clicked on the group chat to see the full message… and felt his heart drop.

“Good evening, everyone. I’ve just received a message from the principal that the Youth Festival of Talents will officially start next month, and our kendo club has finally qualified for the nationals! We’ve been doing our best for the past year, and our efforts are showing.”

“Because of this, the principal has given us funds to train for a whole month! All of you would be exempted from your quizzes and exams and would receive perfect scores from your teachers. That also includes homework and projects as well for the first half of your semester.”

The message went on, detailing their month-long training session, details which Roan wished were untrue.

“Oh… fu-“ Roan stopped himself from cursing in front of his parents and let out a deep, defeated sigh.

“What is it?” Eamon, his father, asked.

“Did you break up with another girl?” Ava teasingly asked, even if Roan never explicitly stated he had ever been romantically involved with anyone. He’d much rather keep his previous whimsical actions a secret as much as possible from his parents.

“It’s not a girl, Mom.” Roan clicked his tongue. “And I’d much rather have a guy right now.”

Preferably myself, even.

Eamon was about to ask another question when Roan just silently gave his phone to his parents. Curious and intrigued by what could have ruined their son’s mood, they read the message, and their eyes widened in surprise.

“Oh my god!” Ava squealed.

“You… You guys qualified for the nationals?” Eamon stared at the message in disbelief.

“We did,” mumbled Roan through gritted teeth. “I did.”

Roan already knew why this happened, it’s because he got those stupid gold medals from the previous regional competition. Now, his success has come to bite him in the ass with a month-long training arc.

He deflated like a balloon, losing his will to live.

“That’s amazing!” Ava could only see things from a surface-level perspective, not at the deep sorrow this meaningless competition held.

“I thought you winning those gold medals back then would be just that, but you actually needed those to qualify for the nationals?” Eamon decided that he should do more research into his son’s hobbies. While he didn’t know the exact details, he did know that qualifying for nationals meant a whole lot of things.

“You could probably even go pro if you continue with kendo—“

“No,” Roan refused with a frown. “Nah. Never! I will not be a pro athlete, Dad.”

“Why not?” Eamon couldn’t understand his son’s adamant refusal. “If you work for a couple of years and make it big, you could easily make millions of dollars. Just look at those basketball people, like your friend Daniel! He plans on becoming a professional, right?”

“He plans on becoming a streamer, Dad.” Roan sighed.

After that fiasco with finding Ethan dead and Daniel becoming an e-boy online, Roan promptly asked Daniel if he had plans on becoming a streamer. When he heard a yes, though one that was full of uncertainty, Roan nearly jumped off a cliff.

He dreaded the idea of Daniel becoming a streamer.

“A streamer?” Eamon frowned. “Like those… uh, metubers?”

“Yes, Dad. He plans on becoming one of them, but worse.” Roan fiddled with his fork.

“But that doesn’t explain why you don’t want to become an athlete though.” Eamon put the conversation back on track.

“It’s just too stressful,” Roan muttered. “I mean, sure, you get the fame, the glory, and I could make it big considering my endowed talents.”

And that I probably have access to eldritch steroids. Roan silently added.

“But it’s just not worth it,” he continued. “I have to follow a strict diet, train weekly, and be in tip-top shape all the time, for what? A stressful time in my twenties? The prime of my life? I’d much rather be like mom, to work from home without much worries in life.”

Roan then continued. “Yes, I’d love to be rich, that’s a given, but if I have to sacrifice my enjoyment for money? No.”

“That’s…” Ava struggled to find the words she wanted to say. “That’s surprisingly wise of you. I would have taken the chance to be one in a heartbeat and earn a million buckaroos on the go.”

“Me too.” Eamon shared the same thoughts with his wife.

Me too. Roan secretly added. Who am I to spout such nonsense?

Roan was just bullshitting right now. If he didn’t have access to his spark and couldn’t travel the multiverse, he would be giddy with joy right now and would train hard for the competition. If he wins it and lands himself as the victor of the nationals, then his prospects as a professional athlete will be unmatched!

He could join a professional agency, train under elite coaches, and become a world-class champion. Money and fame would come rolling in without end!

But what does money and fame stand against the prospects of godhood, of the infinite wonders of the multiverse? Now, what Roan once would have felt joy towards was nothing but empty achievements, things that didn’t matter in the largest picture imaginable.

“Ugh, can’t I back out and quit the club?” Roan grumbled.

“Now that’s just wasting an opportunity,” said Ava.

“You don’t want to guarantee perfect scores for the first half of your semester?” Eamon raised his eyebrow.

Roan bit his lips, contemplated for a bit, and felt that having a perfect for his midterms and avoiding classes for a whole month might, and this is a big might, be worth it.

“Fine…” Roan sighed, grabbing his phone back from his parents. “I’ll try and train for this stupid little competition.”

God, and it’s fucking kendo. Roan melted like a puddle of goo. Who the hell even enjoys kendo these days? I should have just joined the football club or something instead, at least that would be a more realistic path to wealth and success.