- I cannot do that, come on!

I lathered my hands with soap.

- I thought master was an all-powerful demon.

- But it would be rude to treat our host this way. Please think of something else as a reward. Wait! Are you teasing me, you little fox?

I tickled her into giggles. Soon she was completely covered with soap.

- Mercy, demon!

Meanwhile the maid lowered herself under the water so that only her head was above. I did not want to point out how meaningless it was. The water was very clear and at most distorted her silhouette.

I stopped my attack and let my slave breath some air through the mask. I repositioned myself to sit such that I was shielding the view from the maid. I took off our masks. Elfin was half sitting on the marble flooring as well.

- For teasing me I will steal something of yours.

I embraced her gently and kissed her on the lips. When we parted I had noticed her face turned crimson. Was she angry?

Argh, I am such a fool. I should not have done that.

What was I thinking?

She was the first gal I have ever kissed.

Was she some kind of succubus, seducing me like that? No, I had that checked earlier. It was my own brand of foolishness.

All I could mutter was “Sorry” as I slid the masks back on.

I could not look her in the eye.

I brought a bucket of cold water and dumped it on myself.

Suddenly an arm hugged me from behind.

I stood there in silence for a while then covered the hand with my own.

Maid was gawking at us.

- I am sorry. Don’t be angry at me. I did not think.

- It.. felt nice, my lord.

I squeezed her hand a little harder and raised my eyes. It was futile. The mask covered any trace of emotion.

- I do not want to become a master who forces himself onto his slaves.

- I know.

- I..

- Can this Elfin have a request?

- Yes, of course.

- Can master help me wash myself?

Well. I was going to do that anyway.

- Sorry, but you are going to have to think of another reward, vixen. Though, of course I will help you with that until your arm is regenerated.

I took out a hand brush and thus we returned to what one is supposed to do in bath.

The maid was still staring at us.

- Having fun ogling our naked forms, lusty maid?

Instead of the answer to my very polite inquiry all I got was:

- What kind of storage skill is that?

As always the blissful silence was interrupted by that nagging maid. I disregarded the notion that it was in any way my fault for revealing storage. And completely chantless at that. Nope, not my fault.

- Now, I want to teleport her away as well, eh.

I sighed hard.

- Then do so, master. Ha ha.

- Do not tempt this master, you temptress. It has been a long day.

We washed ourselves from all the soapy foam and together descended down the stairs of the main bath.

- Finally some warmth.

- It is my warmth!

What did the queen mean exactly? That it was her baths? This was my WORLD, lady. I had all the baths. Of course I did not show any sign of scorn on my face. Maybe except for rolling my eyes.

- No, I meant the water is warm. I shudder when I think that we will have to leave it and return to our cold room.

- Ha ha ha! And all of my rooms are plenty warm! Take that scoundrels!

- No one ever told me isekais are so cold and dirty. That the food will often be unrefined, that there would be so much evil in the streets.. no one said isekai girls are 3D, instead of glorious 2D – I complained, mostly to myself.

This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

Even the queen is sooo 3-D.. I want my 2D waifus. I could feel my otaku powers dwindling every moment. Or maybe it was just heat seeping into my bones.

Then the word of this haughty queen struck me like a thunder.

- You know how even the bed in our room is so hard and uneven?

- Good for you. Both of you should break your back, while I am sleeping on a fluffy bed.

- Is that so?

- Yes – she said with a glee and immediately started to laugh like an upper class lady would.

Her hand reached her mouth to cover it. Fortunately she only had two hands and thus once again..

- Her bosom is so huge, master demon! It is demonic. She might be the legendary succubus! – I heard Elfin whispering to me.

Indeed the bare truth struck our innocent eyes.

- My eyes are being defiled by those obscene sights. My eyes will not be able to marry now! Nevertheless you should not accuse others of being demonic with your own demonic ancestry – I whispered back.

- I hope master demon will not be forced to marry this woman.

- I hope so too. I hope so too.

I still need to research photographic magic for occasions such as those. It was hard to believe these mountains were of natural origins. Nor that there were no mention of any extraordinary skill, title or magic that could cause such unprecedented growth.

- Those mammaries are truly divine – I muttered a little bit louder.

She must have been having fun as she only just now have noticed she was uncovered.

- Do not mind us. It is indeed very funny so you can continue laughing like that.

- Eeek!

Somehow the scream was not very loud this time.

- Anyway it is true that this palace has good rooms available..

- Master is not thinking that..

- ..maybe we could freeload in one of them.

- Master cannot be seriously considering that!

- Well, we are already freeloading this bath.

- Absolutely not! – protested the maid vehemently.

- Why not?

- The palace belongs to the Queen!

- So what?

- Arghh!

- Miss is just a busty maid. Why is miss so adverse to this very idea? – chimed in my half-elf.

- She is probably working directly under the queen. Otherwise they would not let her into the baths, you dummy.

Of course it was the farthest from the truth as it could get. She was The Queen herself after all. It was convenient for her to accept “my version” of the truth. Otherwise she would have to admit who she really was. Then she would have us executed for trespassing and crimes against royalty. Of course the court would be informed we took baths with the queen so her reputation would be damaged somewhat. Capturing and killing us was also going to be a hassle. I have shown an ability to instantly teleport away. If we got away the queen would only get bad rep.

- Yes. That is right. Her Majesty would never allow such a thing to happen – said the queen.

And here it is. A bait and whole hook caught!

- She would not? – I asked in a staged surprise.

I held my chin between my thumb and index finger.

- I guess then The Dark Rose Society would have to get rid of that insignificant obstacle.

- Obstacle!?

- Yes. An obstacle between The Dark Rose Society and the warm bedding.

- Are you talking of committing regicide?!

- My myself. That would be far too drastic. What do you think, miss Vixen?

- I will follow master’s ordered, whatever they may be.

Was it true loyalty or was she simply being realistic about the collar forcing her to carry any and all orders?

- I was thinking of other methods of coercion. Maybe bribing her would work? We could make her a honorary member of Dark Rose.

- Her Majesty is known for being incorruptible.

Yeah, praise yourself.

- Come on. As her maid you must know some juicy intel. Maybe there is something she wants badly. It is just a room lease. An item or a favor from our Society should be enough.

- Is Society able to get anything? Anything at all?

- Sure. At least most of the stuff you can imagine.

Her smile became wicked.

- Haha! Give the queen a Crown of Flames from the Holy Flame Dragon’s hoard. Ha ha. Or maybe a cask of Alhambranese wine.

- Sure thing.

Out of the two the wine seemed easier to get. A dragon would probably try to hunt down its missing treasure. At least if the dragons here were like those described in Earth’s fictional works.

Searching for Alhambranese wine revealed why the Queen would ask just for some wine. There was not a single bottle in the city. There were a few hidden here and there in the Kingdom of Velia, but their Appraisal-quoted prices were exorbitant. Truly a king’s ransom.

Now it was obvious, but the queen failed to predict one thing. Wine, however rare, had to be produced somewhere and Alhambra region was a thing. It was situated almost on the other side of the planet of Thrope, which would explain the local prices.

Making a caravan traverse through monster infested lands and braving several similarly monster infested oceans and seas. It was probably a chain of many merchants that provided those two bottles in Velia.

Because the sun was currently setting over Ythall it was also rising in Alhambra. It was the best time to go there and buy a few bottles. The only thing stopping me from dropping down everything now and here was the warmth of the bath.

This time I would not forget to learn the local language. Reaching behind me I prepared to pull a kill orb out of my ass. Literally.

Clearly astonished, the maid slash queen shouted:

- Ack. Where did you get that from?

- I pulled it out of my ass – I answered politely.

I handed over the glowing light to Elfin.

- If you still nauseous from the afternoon, then you should postpone absorbing the skill orb. You have learned a lot today, even if those skills were easy to master.

- Alright, demon.

- Just keep it for now. We might not even use it.

- What is this skill orb containing anyway, master demon?

I sighed.

- Nothing much. Just a language skill.

- Language skill? Can those be obtained from skill orbs as well? – asked mu cute half-elf.

Before I could confirm and affirm her worries, the maid interjected.

- Do not bullshit freely in those baths. Such skill orbs do not exist.

I wondered briefly how the Heroes were supposed to communicate with their Thropian kidnappers then. The Hero Summoning System must give them language skills. Yup. Such function is there, as I have just checked.

Though it only gives Common and a local language(s). What? Is the language of the clergy, the well-educated and high-born actually called Common?

How uncommon.

However so far everyone in Ythall spoke Velian instead of Common.

How uncommon.

- Why would the clergy not use the Divine language? – I grumbled to myself quietly.

Now I had to learn two more languages. My head only has so much idle space inside.

Why two?

I had to get both Common and Alhambranese or whatever they used in Alhambra. As to what was inside the orb I gave to Elfin – it was of course Alhambranese.

- If such skill orbs do not exist how do you think the Summoned Heroes learn the languages?

- By the Heaven’s Grace of course.

..and where from the skill orbs originate from, lady? They only drop from “Divine” Dungeons. Divine as in run by Heavens! Duh.

It was not exactly something I should speak about without drawing suspicion. More suspicion then wearing masks in bath, I guess.

- Are you Heroes from the Otherworld?

- Nah. Far from it.

I am a god and she is half-demon, half-native. Nothing in common.

- Why do you bullshit so much?

- To level up my Professional Bullshitting skill.

- Argh.

Technically it did level up. Technically I was telling you the truth, so it should not level up.

Eh.

Such was the lovely atmosphere until we had to get out of bath.