Chapter 6

The two of them stood on a golden cloud, breezing through the skies. They passed by floating palaces and patrols riding on dragons.

Well, calling those would dragons would probably be a disservice to the real ones; these were at most reptilians with wings. Not that they would not tear his face off given the chance.

Li Zhixing had run over to Long Yonglin the moment he regained consciousness, intent on finding an explanation. It was risky to ask for help from such a dangerous individual, but death was approaching, and he would rather not die from a hallucination in the middle of a real battle.

The spar with Bai Ruxue never even occurred, which, in hindsight, made a lot of sense. After all, why would she bother wasting energy and endangering herself, especially when she had no interest in the activity? Everything was only in the confines of his spirit and mind.

As luck would have it, Elder Lin had been lecturing a class, so he found him easily enough. He even got to listen to the words of a native. It proved much more insightful to the worldview here than whatever he remembered.

That eventually led him to his present situation, standing next to Long Yonglin in this artificial sky. He put aside his misgivings at revealing sensitive information. What choice did he have? Bai Ruxue did not even want to look at him. Furthermore, it was not a good idea to show weakness in front of her, considering her prior words and reaction.

As for Long Hao, coming to him for help would be a complete joke. Zhixing was directly going against his previous orders to stay put.

To be fair, he had valid excuses. He was finding Elder Lin and travelling to Long Hao’s place for the mandated discussion.

“Elder, at first, my core began cracking. Then, just this morning, I entered a completely imaginary scenario, one that bore little difference from reality. I won’t go into detail, but suffice to say, my silver core shattered the second I returned to the real world.”

“The hallucination should have come from a cultivation demon or a cultivation divergence. Cultivators above Core Formation will have to deal with those, as you should know. Or are you telling me this is truly the first time?”

He had no answer. Li Zhixing had ultimately been a side character, after all.

The old man sighed. “How did you manage to reach your level with your ignorance? Actually, before I say anything, tell me about your upbringing. This is a give-and-take relationship. Not to mention, some context is needed if you seek meaningful advice.”

Having organized his memory, Li Zhixing said with certainty, “I came from one of the lower realms managed by your family. Not a strategically important realm, but instead merely one of the fringe worlds. There was very little upper management involved, meaning chaos and disorder was rife.”

“Sounds like a world we’ve extracted the full value out of. Let me guess, the upper limit of your world was Foundation Establishment?”

“Not even. The best cultivators can barely reach Foundation Establishment, and they’ll remain there for the rest of their pitiful existence. From what I remember, there were only 4 such cultivators in that entire realm, aside from me and Long Tian. Not that any of that mattered to the young me, scavenging for scraps like a starving mutt.”

His heart tightened in his chest and his vision blurred. He could almost see the endless grey skies above, an ever-present symbol of hopelessness and despair. He could almost taste the ashen air, the odour of death searing his nostrils. He could almost hear the rumbling of his tiny stomach, the shrill screeches of giant vultures, and the last moans of dying men.

That was his childhood, his life, the earliest lessons embedded in his mind.

That was not him. Those memories were nothing but fragments of a dead soul.

Press on, and remember who you were. Or rather, who you were not.

“You there, boy?”

“Just… remembering.”

Long Yonglin showed a sympathetic expression. The old man said nothing, which was appreciated.

“I was an orphan. My parents were nothing special. Just two unfortunate souls, one died giving birth while the other was beaten to death. Likely eaten. Either way, I was forced to scrounge the dying earth for bugs and worms. Even those were a scarcity, especially for a kid who had experienced a mere six springs.”

Images flashed by, of two scrawny arms digging up black dirt, consuming the most revolting of things. And being happy about it.

As he got a bit older, Li Zhixing banded with others, united in their mutual desperation, to go after living people. He was not a cannibal, but he had no qualms about working with them if it secured him provisions.

Whenever such operations succeeded, they had the greatest of celebrations.

Pity those companions of his all met their demise with wide-open eyes.

“And you did not get poisoned?”

“No. I grew up to be quite strong for my age. At the tender age of eleven, I was already as strong as a normal adult man.”

“Seems like you were blessed with a great metabolism. Not just on the mundane side, but more so on the spiritual aspects. Such levels of natural Refinement would have sent you straight to some larger sects had you been born in a better world. That said, your talents would not have bloomed had you lived a simpler life. As always, the sharpest blades are forged in the strongest flames.”

Inexplicable anger overcame him. Following that was a sudden urge for extreme violence.

Li Zhixing reined it in.

Raising an eyebrow, Long Yonglin said, “That’s some serious bloodlust. Control yourself. Otherwise, it will kill you.”

Ignoring his words, Zhixing said, “It’s no blessing. My abnormal strength meant I was drafted into the army of a local warlord. He was barely in the second half of Qi Refinement. As pathetic as that was, it was more than enough to lord over the backwater that was my home. Thus, I joined a small regiment of twenty newly “recruited” teenagers. Among those was one Long Tian, wide-eyed and completely clueless. He too was an orphan, having just witnessed the death of his last guardian. Yet, he retained an infectious optimism.”

Li Zhixing stopped. In his mind’s eye, a starry-eyed boy with missing teeth appeared. No stranger to suffering, yet he did not succumb to it. Far from it. Back then, Li Zhixing had felt a surge of protectiveness – the first time in his life. Thus, he had promised himself that he would protect his brightness, to keep the grin on his sole brother.

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Yet, time and time again, he had failed. Not for a lack of trying, but due to a simple lack of ability.

At some point, the young optimist of yesteryear had come to resemble his cynical ‘elder brother’. That was no cause for joy, no call for celebration.

Instead, Long Tian became the living symbol of Li Zhixing’s failures and inadequacies.

The struggles of an MC were naturally beyond the scope of any side character’s capabilities. It was not his fault that Long Tian turned out the way that he did. Indeed, for the most part, he was simply playing the role-

This was no story. It was his life.

And what did he have for it, when he himself betrayed little Tian’s trust? In his current possession was the weapon they had painstakingly created together, the culmination of their brotherhood. Something unique to them, not shared by the masses of people that had gathered around Long Tian.

Traitor, you have no right to speak.

Just then, a hand gripped his shoulder. Firmly, yet also comfortingly. With stormy eyes, Long Yonglin said, “You can stop now.”

Around them, Qi had gone into disarray and the cloud had turned into golden sand, still glowing as it dissipated in the wind. The only reason he had not fallen to his death was holding him.

“Do you know the exact causes of a cultivation demon? Or of divergences?”

“I have an idea, but please, enlighten me."

“Cultivation demons arise from one main thing. Doubt. This doubt can come from just about anything, be it one’s understanding of the world or one’s inner codes of conduct. The presence of doubt and uncertainty comes hand in hand with the challenges from the heavens. These come in the form of dreams and delusions, which shows a fake reality where a cultivator’s values are challenged. In the early stages, the delusions are a bit easier to handle and easier to perceive.”

That explained the inconsistencies in that vision. That was why Bai Ruxue acted questionably, and why he managed to perform his techniques with such proficiency.

“In later stages, the delusion is indistinguishable from reality. This has often led to… dire consequences,” the man said with a grimace. “The result of failure remains fairly consistent throughout. The loss of cultivation is very visible, as you’ve experienced yourself. However, this is not a big deal, not in my opinion. The main problem is that your mind will be fractured.”

“Fractured?”

Elder Lin continued, his voice heavy. “You will find competing voices in your head, each seeking to strengthen itself. There can be more than two, though most of the time one voice will drown out the others. The most severe instances occur when there’s a fully-developed split personality within your mind.”

Li Zhixing finally understood what had been happening. These images he had been shown, the things he had been hearing… were those the voices? Voices of pragmatic ruthlessness and casual cruelty. The death roes of the original Li Zhixing.

Because obviously, the original could not be lurking in the back of his mind. After all, he had not been given a system or any cheat coming here; there was no chance he would still have to handle a malicious personality inside of him.

Right?

“Sounds pretty easy. Now that I realize the issue, it should not be too difficult to treat it, correct? With your heritage, you should have the right methods.”

"You tell me," Long Yonglin said, unamused, “I commend your optimism and your faith in my clan. However, there’s only one way to kill off a cultivation demon. Clear your doubts. Solidify your identity. Only when you’ve made sure that your cultivation and your identity are in tandem can you be triumphant. And as always, it is easier said than done. The glaring problem is this. A person is in doubt, the doubt fosters demons, which in turn increases the person’s doubts – a vicious cycle. The cultivator’s fractured and uncertain identity is pitted against a single-minded demon, who possesses unshakable belief. Conviction thus becomes necessary, even if it comes at the expense of many things.”

"Is that why things have remained so… stagnant?”

For a civilization that supposedly existed for dozens of millenia, there seemed to be relatively few differences between the world of the past and present.

“Don’t interrupt me. But yes, such unbreakable conviction is both a cure and a poison. It helps combat cultivation demons, which not only destroy the self but also endanger others. Many crises have come due to the fall of a great cultivator to their inner demons; it is the firm conviction of our forebears and our superiors that the world has not fallen to ruin. Nothing is more beautiful than believing in something with all your heart and mind.”

“And yet it has its drawbacks.”

“Certainly. In a better world, doubt should have been rewarded and beliefs should be flexible. Moderation would be best. However, cultivation requires conviction, which is at its strongest with unrepentant fanaticism. We simply have to accept it and work with it.”

For some time, neither spoke. Zhixing let his companion slowly carry him to their destination.

Li Zhixing finally asked, “What is the consequence of losing to my demons?”

“Are you already preparing yourself for failure?” he said with a deep frown. “In essence, you die. You’ll likely become a mindless beast that will seek nothing but destruction, the embodiment of heaven’s punishment for the weak of mind. A more developed demon might become a completely new existence that bears your physical similarities. They can be discreet or bombastic, but whatever the method, they will seek to strengthen themselves. Their end goal, however, remains destruction and suffering. They simply take a long-term approach.”

“Ah.”

“Ah indeed. I’ll make an educated guess, which will help you. There are two things. First, you have a close relationship with Long Tian. Your betrayal seems to be the catalyst for your self-doubt.”

That could not have been the issue, at least not for his so-called inner demon. He simply did not feel the guilt of betrayal or rape, since he was not the perpetrator.

Even if he was Li Zhixing, was there not a problem with that interpretation? The guy was a complete lunatic, he could not have felt sorry for his actions. He would have revelled in it, as shown in his final encounter with Long Tian in the book.

As for whatever he had been hearing, those were all evil voices that were completely untrue, painting a false picture of what had happened. Simply made to make him empathize with the original, to make him lose himself.

“Second, your current path has become unsuitable, likely due to changes in yourself. I will not push for the actual causes of this, but I believe it is beneficial. You seem to follow something related to vengeance and suppression. Suppression of emotions is not necessarily bad, but it is a bit limited in output. More importantly, you seem to be a rather expressive person, which creates some disconnect.”

He did not copy Li Zhixing’s personality and mannerisms. Nor had he intended to. Completely copying him would just lead to a completely similar fate.

“As for Vengeance, that is just a ridiculous choice. Simply put, it is too dependent on external factors. It also has a low ceiling. You can claim to seek 'vengeance against the world', but that’s untenable. Your Path can only weigh as heavy as your cultivation – this is something many youngsters forget. Just claiming some higher ‘truth’ without any personal basis is not useful.”

“Sure, you lay bare the criticisms. Great stuff, even if it ignores the strengths. But what are the actual solutions?”

He had no idea why he was so quick to respond. He could be feeling defensive because he had used the powers given to him by this particular Path.

That sounded illogical and he knew it.

“I won’t give you answers. That’s for you to decide independently. That is the essence of cultivation.”

Zhixing threw his hands in the air. Just great. A lot of empty words, the same as in the past.

“Be patient. Feel free to drop cultivation – that can always be rebuilt. You are still at Core Formation, which in the grand scheme of things is not too significant. However, if you choose a Path and ascend to Soul Formation, you’ll be stuck with it forever. None had managed to change their Path after that, and I do not expect you to be the one to break the mould.”

“Any specific advice then?” He said it mostly out of spite.

"For the specific Paths, just choose something fitting. Don’t think too much about being unique. Just excel at whatever you choose and you can have a taste of ‘uniqueness’ later. And, did I not give you a clear solution? A fitting Lath will be the cure to your present woes."

"Is it?"

"If you want to be stubborn, I cannot save you. Either way, we are at our destination. Or rather, at your destination.”

They reached the base of a massive staircase, thousands of steps aimed heavenward.

“Up there is Long Hao’s residence. If you want, you can ask him about his Path. I hear it’s a good way to bond with your leader.”

Seeing his gaze at the stairs, the old man said, “I’m having you walk up because you’ve been a bit insolent in our conversation. Understandably so, which is why your legs remain attached. However, this small punishment is fair, right?”

The elder looked at him expectantly – he would not take no for an answer. Zhixing quickly nodded. Yonglin beamed.

“The main reason is that you should take some time to think. And what better time to think than a light walk? Also, walk properly. If you don't, I’ll kill you.”

He was not joking.

Once again, Zhixing nodded. Respectfully and obediently..

The old man disappeared from sight, leaving him alone with the stairs and the evening breeze.

He sighed, before jogging up the stairs. Simultaneously, his thoughts began running wild.

Time to consider his Path, whatever that entailed.