“Hey… where am I?”, I asked even though I visibly was in some sort of an… office?!
“Hello. My name is ↼⍇➲⤰⬻⬻. You can call me Bob. I specialize in brokering and trading with dreams.”
“A dream, huh? I thought that it can’t be a truck. After all, that is one thing I am safe against. There is no way one could crash into the building I am in, squeeze itself through two corridors and then start the engine again just to get to me!”
“Well… you are wrong here. Trucks are capable of many feats an ordinary person would find unnatural and unlikely.”
“...”
“You know, we met, because there is an… instability. The internet is saturated with immensely good novels which the authors never get paid for, while a lot of inappropriate content run by certain individuals hoards a lot of it.”
“But there must be some laws, right? The universe will balance it for everyone in the end and so on…”
“Normally that would be the case. But you know, this goes on for years. And then it gets complicated for everyone involved. When it comes to the novels, one website for fanfictions has even in its terms of service that it can sublicense your novel to their affiliates. Some people repost the novels of others even while using the excuse ‘it’s hard to tell what the original site for it was’, and other things. I can’t take it no more. So I am doing an experiment.”
“Wow. Nice. Will you give me some cheats?”
“You are stupid.”
“Ah, ok, but will you give me few cheats?”
“No, I mean… you will be a stupid MC. That is your cheat. Plot armor and above average talent in exchange for a much lowered wisdom and intelligence.”
“So… what world will I be in?”
“Any world you like. Something like Harry Potter, or like Star Wars…”
“Ah! Get me into Harry Potter then! That one is safe even when you are stupid.”
“Sorry. I said LIKE Harry Potter. You can’t enter the original worlds. No, you need to enter a fanfiction.”
“...”
“...”
“Just… just get me into a random fanfiction then.”
“You will be transfered into Arrogant Young Master Template A Variation 4 in five… four… three… two… one....”
---
Next time I knew, I felt really cool.
What a nice sky, huh.
When the memories rushed into me, it felt like binging a novel in one go.
The important point now is, I am a part of the Cloudless Sect. I don’t know the history as much, but we must be a really ancient sect, because there are clouds in the sky. So we were created before they were there.
See, I am really clever. There is no way my intelligence was lowered.
And since I still have my memories, I know I must sort out my priorities first.
Food. Future wife. Traning. Personal excellence of a main character.
In this very order.
“Hey sister, do you know where the hall of dining is? I am quite confused today.”
“Yeah… so only for the 242th time or something, you can arrive to the hall by going in this direction and then to the GREEN building.”
“Yes, green building.”
And so I went. Man, life is really simple here. I got a bit distracted by seeing a blue building, but then remembered it is the green one.
“Hey guyyssss! Nice seeing you there!”
It is always better to be friendly. No matter what, be friendly.
“Hi…”
“Yeah…”
“You managed to come here without getting lost, huh…”
The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.
Obviously, these guys know me pretty well. I bet we will create a superbly famous group of destroyers or something in the future.
If you were in a Xianxia world like me, you would know that cultivators prefer a balanced diet. So I took a little bit of everything. One piece of every kind of meat and vegetables, one spoon, one fork… and both the brown wood chair and the gray chair. I will sit on both, so it will be a perfect balance.
While eating, I was eyeing all the female disciples.
None of them eyed me back, obviously being too shy, but I am patient. It is inevitable that one of them will need a man to rescue her in the future. Of that, I am certain.
---
After I finished the dinner, I went out to take my ‘Lucky encounter stroll’.
It is a routine the owner of the previous body has developed, and it brings consistent results. But you must be special like me in order to be able to do that. An ordinary guy won’t make the cut.
The first stage of the stroll consists of ‘getting immensely lost’. Since when you pursue something too much and feel frustrated or you are even grieving, the fate can’t guide you.
Following the example from my memories, I took the shortcut to achieving this and jumped down from 12 meters, headfront.
Thus, I achieved the second stage, ‘seeing stars around your head’. And with unsteady steps, I let my legs to guide me…
“Hey man, all the female disciples here are mine. Don’t steal them.”
There was this one man, I’ve never seen before, obviously from another sect, who was floating in the sky and overseeing me and my fellow disciples.
As every main character, I am also territorial, and so I felt the need to remind him.
“How… do you see me?”
“I have this special method. It is so ancient and profound you won’t be able to comprehend it. But if you… help me, I could give you a hint.”
“What… do you need to help with?”
“You know, I am a really poor and dilligent cultivator. Every day, I follow my priorities. Food and future wife are okay… for today. And now I need to train. Can you help me train?”
“Hmm… I need to see if you are talented enough. Take this ‘scripture of basic wind arts’. So what is your secret?”
“I don’t have any unnecessary thoughts. Nobody can read my mind or my intentions and I see more than other people.”
“Hm. We’ll see then.”
Upon receiving the scripture, I felt encouraged to do more. You know, there is a rule for every MC - always want more.
That’s why Ron from Harry Potter treated the girl who was after him really badly and instead of communicating with her properly, and treating her like a human being, he let her chase after him in vain in the end and let her feel all the frustration - because he wanted Hermione.
But the trick is, it works only for the minor MCs. If you are a major one like Anakin, and want some unnatural dark abilities, you will end up with nothing.
Naturally, I am no minor MC.
And so I just went on to look for a place to train in.
“Hey, sister, do you know a place with a lof of wind?”
Naturally, it needs to be really windy in there, because I have a wind scripture.
“Yeah, our grandmaster is in a closed cultivation. As he calls down all the energies in the world, it is really windy underneath the mountain he is on. It is the perfect place, trust me.”
“Oh, really?”
“And that is not all. It is only seven hundred meters from here. You just go there, see… and take the yellow portal.”
“Oh, really?”
“Hm-hm. It will teleport you to the exact place. Don’t think about anything else. It is a really windy place.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yes.”
“...”
“Just go, ok? You must go fast, trust me.”
It is the best when your fellow disciples care about you.
---
The place I arrived at is a lot more than I imagined it to be. It is REALLY windy in here. Be it the falling rocks from nearby mountains, the tornadoes in the background or the swirling energies all around, this must be the ideal place for practicing a wind scripture.
It’s just that due to me flailing all round, I have currently certain issues opening it.
I just… can’t… pull my hands close to each other.
Desperate, I let the scripture open at a random page, part of it getting out of the hold of my fingers.
The depiction was fortunately something I can practice. The figure of a man was drawn, with his legs quite apart from each other...
It had the following sentence: ‘The humming of a wind penetrates all’.
The humming of a wind… humming of a wind… Tell me, what kind of a sound does a wind make?
Something like… moo… no, that goes for cows. Yet, suddently, my immense comprehension figured it out!
“BOOOOOOOO…!”
Not enough.
“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”
It… it must be the frequence. Right. Sounds of a certain frequence make different changes.
“BOOOOOOOOOO!”
---
On a mountain nearby.
‘What the …!’
‘What kind of m….!!!’
Then, after few seconds, it started again…
“BOOOOOOO…”
Sometimes from the right, then from the left, the strange sound was reaching here from all directions, not letting me finish in peace. Normally, a cultivation at my level can’t get disrupted by sounds...
But it is a different story when you secretly practice a dual demonic cultivation and forcibly refine the energies in the body of an elder you killed few days ago.
I need utter concentration for this!
“BOOOOOOOOO…”
Few strands of my hair fell down, as I failed to control the energies going through the aperture.
“BOOOOOO…”
After the fifth try, I vomitted blood, along with my essence of qi.
‘Please… no more… no… more.... I can’t stop this now…’
“...”
‘Perhaps…?’
“BOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”
Driven mad and exhausted, I tried to smash parts of the mountain, with the hopes of vanquishing the enemy. But as my skin got purple and my bones were shattering, I tried one final attack, an omnidirectional blast.
‘Hah… hah…’
‘...’
‘...’
At this stage, resembling a zombie, and slowly raised my head…
“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”
---
No scripture is as powerful and no MC is as badass as I am. Man, even the mountain started to shatter itself as I hummed like the wind.
It really... penetrates all!
When it reached the final stage, even the wind stopped blowing and the energies stopped swirling.
I slowly, with epic steps like a MC in a final cut scene, moved toward the center, where the brightest energies clashed against each other.
There were also some crooked and demonic, ying ones, from perhaps dual cultivation, but as MC, I want obviously only the brightest stuff. Because only the brightest is the most powerful. Because I am the brightest star.
For example some people think that Anakin lost against Obi-wan in Star Wars due to not having the high ground, but the truth is that the color of his blue lightsaber did not match the color of his new red eyes.
You need to match the colors properly or you are done for. Basic MC logic.
As human cultivator, I need to have the brightest.
And so I sat there, meditating.
“Hey… what has happened in here?!”
“Perhaps the grandmaster… ascended?”
“You don’t say… we would be a fifth grade sect, then!”
“Ohh….”
“But, does he not look… quite younger now? Did he look like this when he was young?”
---
“This is Daniel.
Reporting to Merry in the Starfall Sect.
This guy is definitely… not normal. I gave him the wind scripture, and he then proceeded to vanquish the previous grandmaster and even impersonate him, all the while raising his cultivation by seven minor stages.
I repeat, he is... an anomaly.”