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Transformers Revisited
Chapter 8: Susan and The Two New Transformers

Chapter 8: Susan and The Two New Transformers

"Did you see Betty?" I asked RC. "She can change into an Autobot! And she was cute!" I giggled. "She looked like a big bumblebee, with the wings and the horns... RC? What's wrong?"

I noticed that RC was having some kind of problem. She wasn't moving. She wasn't moving, and she had her eyes closed. She was breathing shallowly and was awfully pale.

I looked down at my hands - I wanted to check her temperature but my hands were covered. I took my helmet off instead and laid my cheek against her.

"You're burning up!"

"I feel weird, Suzy," RC said, almost mumbling. Later on, she explained that she was feeling weak but restless, and little aches would shoot up through her arms and legs. Nothing real bad, she said, but there were a lot of them. And over all of it, she felt like she wanted to burst out of her skin, like she wanted to do something really, really badly, but didn't know exactly what.

"Suzy!" she called out weakly.

"Are you in pain, RC?" I asked, and she moaned.

"Ms. Susan," Betty said, "the captain's temperature is now one hundred ten degrees Fahrenheit."

"Oh, my God!" I reached for her zipper and pulled it all the way down. A solid wave of heat wafted up, making me turn my face away. "My god!" Her special scent was so strong - strawberries, and her own special unique scent filled Betty's passenger cabin. I could have swooned from the heat of it.

"Her temperature is one hundred twenty now, and still climbing."

"She's burning up, Bee! What can we do?"

"I suggest you put your helmet back on, Ms. Susan. I will switch my air conditioning to high."

I put my helmet back on and Betty activated her air conditioning. Her a/c was not the normal kind cars had anymore - it was more like a blast chiller or freezer. A white vapor or mist came out of her vents, and the entire cabin became almost ice cold. I was wearing my suit and helmet so I was fine.

"Help! Someone, help!" I called into my suit's radio.

"This is Perceptor, Ms. Blu," a voice came on. "Tell us what's happening."

"RC is burning up! I don't know what's happening to her!"

"Burning up? There's a fire there?"

"No, No! It's like RC has a fever. Bee says she has a temperature of one hundred and twenty Fahrenheit."

"I'm sorry, I don't know. Is that bad?"

"Very bad!"

"Get the Captain here as quick as you can. I will have your doctors standing by." Perceptor paused. "I have been told that you must find a way to bring down her temperature drastically."

I already knew that. "I'm on it, Perceptor," I said.

To cool her down further, I started to remove her suit completely. When I had her arms out of her sleeves and her suit down around her waist, I saw what was happening to her. I doubted if doctors would be helpful.

-----

Once in the air, Sky Lynx quickly went ballistic, and got us back to Fort Lewis in less than ten minutes. And as soon as he landed and had his ramp down, Betty roared down his ramp and made straight for the main entrance. Once she had cleared his ramp, Sky Lynx blasted back up into the air, to return to our people.

Seeing what was happening to her, Betty and I came to the same conclusion that Perceptor would be more helpful than the doctors. Because, for whatever reason, RC had turned into a robot...

She still looked much the same - same beautiful face, same hair, but she clearly wasn't the same.

Her skin had turned into some kind of dull-chrome metal and had split into plates. For example, two metal plates instead of skin - one plate on the upper side and one on the other side now covered her forearms. One could see a dark structure underneath, just glimpsed between the two plates, but I didn't bother to examine it closer. The same was true for the rest of her body. Her hands, for example, were jointed like the plates on a metal glove of a medieval knight's armor, and her lower arms were just like her forearms, although there were more plates. But she still looked mostly like before. Her face was still whole - I mean, the skin on her face hadn't split into plates, so she still looked like her, but it was now made of the same dull-chrome metal.

Betty screeched to a halt inside Perceptor's main lab, and I jumped out. I ripped off my helmet, raced to the other side, opened RC's door and started pulling her out. She was incredibly heavy, and I grunted under RC's weight. Wheelie crouched beside me.

"Let Wheelie do it," he said, so I moved aside.

Wheelie easily lifted her out. He turned to me and gave me a reassuring smile.

"Wheelie got her," he said. "RC be okay."

He brought RC to what looked like a large examination table and stretched her out. Perceptor strapped her down, brought down a transparent clamshell-like cover and locked it down over her. A whole wall of screens, dials and readouts came alive and Perceptor stared at them trying to decipher what was happening to RC. Human doctors had come in, but stayed clear of Perceptor – they didn’t want to get underfoot.

Instead, they turned to me, and asked me what happened. I explained everything that had happened since we first disembarked from Sky Lynx.

-----

It was the first time I saw her stretched out, and her body was exactly like I said - robotic yet human. Her face was turned towards us, with eyes closed like she was sleeping. Someone else would probably have been horrified, but I wasn't. In less than a week, I saw more than the average girl. I wasn't too easily shocked anymore. But, more than anything, despite this, she was still her. I could tell. Though robot-like, she was still gorgeous. And I could tell it was still her inside.

Wheelie and I stared down at her.

"RC pretty," he commented. Belatedly, I just realized RC was completely naked, and I was holding her ripped suit under my arm. I blushed.

"Hands off, Wheelie," I said, smiling. "She's mine."

Wheelie chuckled, hip-bumped me playfully and gave me a wink, but since he was so tall, he hip-bumped me on my shoulder instead. I playfully shoved him back, giggling. We stayed there for hours, worried and just looking at her. Thank God for Wheelie. If not for him and his efforts to distract me and cheer me up, I would have long since collapsed from fear, exhaustion and worry.

Perceptor came over.

"Ms. Blu..."

"Call me Susan, Perceptor," I said. “I told you that before.”

"All right, Susan. I think I've figured out what is going on with RC."

"is it bad?"

"It may be. She's experiencing harmonic disturbances from various components in her life systems. It happens when organs are not performing as they should. She is also experiencing low internal pressure and some of her organs may begin to shut down soon due to a lack of energy, unless we do something. Her circuitry may also be shutting down due to the high internal thermal levels."

"What? Circuitry? Is it a virus or something?"

"No, Susan, it is not a virus. It is the birth of a Cybertronian."

After a while, I nodded. "I thought as much," I said. "She's turning into an Autobot."

"How did you figure it out?"

"After what happened to my beetle, it was sort of predictable. The same thing zapped them both after all, and then my car started to talk, and my best friend got turned into a six-foot-nine girl. And then, a little while ago, she started to turn into that." I gestured to the robotic-looking RC.

"Seven-two."

"What?"

"RC isn't six-feet-nine. She is now seven feet-two inches tall, Susan."

"Oh. So, even that's changed, too. Will she be okay?"

"I don't know yet."

"You don't? You said she was turning into an Autobot."

"What I actually said was that it was the birth of a Cybertronian. But it seems to have been a premature birth. She started transforming before her body was ready. If something is not done, she will not survive the transition."

"Well, do whatever's needed. I will take responsibility."

"That's the problem. I don't know what to do. RC is like no Autobot I have ever seen. Her transformation is unusual to say the least. I don't understand how a human can become a Cybertronian. All that I can do is let her body finish the transformation."

"You said she might die."

Perceptor shrugged. "I can keep her temperature down and therefore prevent her systems from degrading further. Maybe we can also infuse her atmosphere with the trace elements that she may need during this transformation. In essence, I am going to turn her isolation chamber into what I guess could be called an Autobot incubation chamber."

Perceptor put his enormous hand on my shoulder and turned me around.

"She's still on the edge, Susan," he said gravely, "but maybe with this assist, she will get over the crisis and survive."

He shrugged. "I'm sorry. Only time will tell. Excuse me."

With that, he turned back to his control panel. At the push of a button, super-cold neutral nitrogen at minus forty degrees Fahrenheit was piped in to RC's glass-enclosed chamber, and the billowing mist hid her from our view. Next, a reddish-gold gas that Perceptor said was oxygen full of water vapor and different suspended trace minerals was piped in. We couldn't see RC anymore.

From that point on, there wasn't anything to do. Wheelie ushered Betty and myself out of the lab. It would be twenty-four hours before I'd see RC again.

-----

Betty did her level best to distract me from worrying about RC. She wasn't successful, of course, but I loved her for trying, so I behaved as if she succeeded. It's amazing that I felt such love for what I still consciously thought of as an inanimate object, but if I were honest with myself, I'd probably realize that, deep inside me, I thought of Betty was a person. Actually, she was more than a person to me - to me, she was actually my child.

We stayed in the encounter arena and followed the battle on several monitors that the general had put there for his people to monitor the action, telemetry courtesy of Sky Lynx.

The action on the screens was very violent - robots being thrown about, and explosions all over.

Being outgunned by the human soldiers, the enemy backtracked, and was therefore forced to engage the Autobots in close-in fighting instead, with fists flying and arms swinging. But the Autobots were simply physically too large and powerful.

As for the Autobots, their strategy seemed to be to beat the enemy up, throw them in the path of RC’s soldiers, who would shower them with high explosives, and they would retreat back into the arms of the Autobots where they got beat up some more. It felt like watching the latest up-and-comer boxing star getting beat up by Pacquiao. And in half an hour, the enemy was done.

In the end, out of the thirty-two statues, we got twenty-three, and captured five of them alive. No one could find four, however, which included the Venus de Milo statue, but that probably only meant a more thorough search was needed. It was very hilly and overgrown country over there, after all, and it would be easy to miss things.

No one yet knew where these mutant robots came from, or what they wanted. To the General, the fact they were killing people was more than enough reason to stop them. I felt the same way, too, but now that they had been stopped, it was time to find out.

The Autobots came back with our people, with the prisoners in tow as well as all the grisly pieces of the dead enemies they could comb from the grass and trees, but I didn't bother to watch them as they came in. We weren't necessary at the moment. Rodimus, whom I was told was one of the leaders of the Autobots, took it upon himself to take charge. He’d direct the examination of the remains, and when they were through with that, he'd start interrogating the prisoners. Perceptor’s help was solicited to help with the autopsy of the remains, leaving everyone else free.

This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.

At that point, I was so emotionally and physically drained, I asked Betty to bring me to our quarters, where I slept for close to twelve hours.

When I woke, I found Betty in her Autobot form watching over me. I asked her if she could hustle up some food, and while she was out, I went over to the other building for a quick shower and change of clothes.

When I got back, Betty had sandwiches and a thermos of coffee for me. I gulped a couple of cups and brought a sandwich to munch on while Betty and I walked to Perceptor’s.

Betty told me that Sky Lynx had already left and gone back to his original project on the moon. That meant we didn’t have our own freight transport available anymore, but everyone else was back, and those that were injured were all on the mend, thanks to Ratchet.

Betty held my hand as we walked. Because of her large size and my comparatively tiny one, I could imagine that it was like I was Betty’s child, and she was walking me to Perceptor’s lab. But we bumped into Arlene, the girl who helped RC with her uniform. She was with some other soldiers.

“Hey, Arlene. We’re on our way to check on RC.”

“Hi, Susan. I was just there.” She looked at Betty a little curiously. She probably hadn't seen her as an Autobot.

“Remember my Beetle?”

“Oooh! I should have guessed. You’re the famous Bumblebee!”

“Bumblebee?”

“That’s what the Autobots are calling her. And they were right. She does look like you - it’s like you’re related. And she is gorgeous.” She giggled. “But even if she didn’t look like you, I would have known.”

I smiled politely. “What do you mean?”

“She acts like your little girl.” She giggled. “And you act like you’re her mom.” Huh? But she’s so big. Maybe Arlene meant it the other way around.

Still, I blushed at that, and Betty looked down, smiling shyly.

“Oooh, just look at you two!”

I cleared my throat embarrassedly, and tried to change the subject. “Did you get to see RC?”

Arlene sobered a bit at that.

“Ummm, no. Rachet and Perceptor were so busy doing things, I couldn’t get close enough to see. In any case, she was still in that glass clamshell thing, but Perceptor told us she was doing fine before we were shooed away.”

“Do you think they’d they let us in?”

“I think so. They’re waiting for you, in fact.”

She reached over and gave me a friendly goodbye hug. “Go on, Susan. I’ll see you later.”

Arlene smiled up at Betty. “And it was great to meet you, Bumblebee.”

Betty smiled. “Thank you, Sergeant. It was pleasant to see you today as well.”

She and her companions waved goodbye, and we continued on.

-----

It would have helped Perceptor if Ratchet assisted with the autopsies, but he was with Betty and me in one of Perceptor’s spare labs with about a dozen other Autobots. Guess our visit with RC would be delayed a bit.

The pictures from Sky Lynx' video showing Betty transforming into her new robot form had spread through the Autobots in the camp, and at everyone's urging, Ratchet was checking her out. So I sat in a corner while I watched Betty go through her transformation several times while adoring Autobots watched her do so, and Ratchet did his testing.

According to Ratchet, based on his sensor data, Betty seemed to be fairly average as Cybertronians go, but to the Autobots, Betty was a miracle - the first totally new Autobot in a thousand millennia, and Ratchet confirmed that her internals were indeed those of a Cybertronian.

In the long history of their race, there were Cybertronians that were born on worlds other than Cybertron - many of them becoming legendary citizens of their species. Which made Betty doubly unique and intriguing - Earth's first Autobot as well as the newest, youngest Autobot - facts that made Betty extremely intriguing to them.

With all of the information now in the Autobots' hands, it was clear how Betty came about. Perceptor's tests on the Venus de Milo statue's cube did indeed show that it was made from the fragmented pieces of the AllSpark's matrix. Not a single piece but an amalgam of several pieces that shaped itself into a cube. And given my, and RC's, accounts of our first encounter with the Venus statue, Ratchet confirmed Betty was animated by the statue’s "mini cube" in almost the same way all other Cybertronians were animated by the original intact AllSpark.

However, the only other devices that were animated by AllSpark fragments that the Autobots knew about had all shown defects - their physical structures were incomplete and therefore not viable. The biggest defect, however, was that they were all destructive and homicidal. The only thing that stopped them from becoming a complete danger to people was that not a single one of them lived longer than an hour.

Because Betty was another one of these "defectives," or rather MIGHT be one of these defectives, Autobots like Perceptor and Ratchet were rather nervous. But Ratchet's analysis of Betty's internals showed she was completely viable, and throughout the time since her creation, Betty had not acted homicidal in any way. She seemed like a normal newly activated Autobot. And, if she survived for a few more hours, thereby taking her over the five-day mark, Ratchet said that she would be safely out of the woods. (One hundred twenty hours was the normal power regeneration cycle for Autobots.)

There were a few things about her however that still bothered Perceptor and Ratchet - one was that Betty's primary humanoid form closely resembled me. They believed that this was also somehow connected to her seemingly fanatical devotion to a human master - me. But other than those, she seemed to be a completely charming young Autobot.

I've been told that there have always been very few female Autobots, and their favors have been fiercely competed for, and given Betty was an especially attractive one, in the coming weeks and months, Ultra Magnus and Rodimus would worry about how this would affect discipline amongst their people.

Many have wondered what kind of purpose female Cybertronian forms had, given the Autobots' non-sexual manner of reproduction. Many human scientists have conjectured that, since Cybertronians' primary forms were largely analogues of humanoid forms, it was reasonable to conclude that those who created the AllSpark were humanoid as well, and meant for their robotic alternates to resemble them, including differentiated male and female humanoid forms.

The facts that their secondary and third "vehicle forms" were also analogues of humanoid vehicles, tools and implements, and that their behavior was very, very close to human behavior, scientists took to be proof of this theory.

When asked about this, though, the Autobots didn't know and didn't care. All they wanted was to be left alone to live their lives the way they wanted to live them.

-----

A more detailed examination of Betty's internals showed that she didn't have any kind of projectile weapon, but she did have an impressive set of bladed weapons and cudgels. This therefore made their tactical officers, Side Swipe and Sunstreaker, conclude Betty might not be suited to be a frontline soldier. Perceptor could correct for that deficiency and provide her with such weaponry but, for the moment, General Lennox and Ultra Magnus agreed that she should be assigned to protect RC and me. So it didn't really matter.

Another point of difference was Betty's manner of taking in energy. Betty could indeed process what they called "energon," their main energy source, which, to my layman's ear, sounded like radioactivity. Apparently, the Autobots have been living off energon converted from radioactive waste trucked from various nuclear power plants to the base. After the "conversion" the inert material that that was left was still useful - good for making armor, carbon nanotubes and other carbon-based materials.

The upshot of it was that the Autobots seemed to be the country's best method of processing radioactive waste. In fact, no new nuclear waste was being processed for disposal anywhere in the country anymore. They were being trucked to the base instead, where the Autobots would do their thing and extract the radioactivity and create “energon,” whatever that was. A new unit was, in fact, being put together by the AEC to facilitate this, and to start unearthing the material currently in nuclear waste disposal areas and see if the Autobots could siphon off whatever radiation was left and convert them to inert material as well.

But Ratchet discovered Betty could also process gasoline when in her Volkswagen form. None of the Autobots could do that.

"Cool," I said sarcastically - a car, which can run on gas... "Yeah, cool," Wheelie said, echoing me, and we laughed.

Looking at Wheelie, I was reminded that I really didn't know much about these new robotic friends of ours.

"Ratchet?" I asked the big robot doctor beside me. "I was wondering if I could get a list of all the Autobots in the camp? I’m having a hard time remembering the names of those that I've met."

He nodded. "Do you have a computer tablet?"

I went to Betty, and she handed me my little Android tablet. It's like she and I were thinking the same thing.

I handed it to Ratchet and he plugged in a little USB cable that came out of his thumb. When he handed it back, there was a file open on the screen. It was a list of Autobots.

When I clicked the top of the list, I saw a picture of a robot I hadn't seen before. It was a robot called "Optimus Prime." He reminded me of Ultra Magnus somehow. His secondary form was a semi, too, and the little bio beside the picture said he was the former commanding officer of the Autobots and that he was currently missing in action.

I recognized several, like Magnus, Ratchet, Sky Lynx and Perceptor, but I saw others with pictures that were very intriguing, like the "Dinobots" Grimlock, Snarl and Swoop, and the two Lamborghini robots, Side Swipe and Sunstreaker. I also saw pictures of Autobots like Prowl, Hound, Jazz and Ironhide.

I found their names unique. Names like Ultra Magnus or Optimus Prime evoked images that implied strength and leadership. The name Perceptor seemed, well, perceptive, as it was the name of their chief scientist. And there were funny but expressive names like Kup, who, I learned had three forms instead of the normal two. Some even had more than one name, like Rodimus - he was known as Rodimus, Rodimus Prime, Major and Hotrod. There was a note that he wasn't a prime anymore, but was now just a major. I didn't know what a "prime" was, however. All the bio said after that was that he was second-in-command after Magnus.

The last picture I saw was that of a little black-and-yellow robot, also with three names: Bumblebee, Bee and, of course, Betty. I giggled. They already had Betty in their list.

"You have a new name now, you know," I told Betty. She was in her robot form.

"I do, Ms. Susan?" she said in her cultured, German-sounding voice.

"Yep. The Autobots are calling you Bumblebee now." I giggled again.

She was silent for a moment. "Do you like the name?" she asked.

"Yes, I do. Very much."

"If you like it, then I like it, too."

I reached up and gave her a hug around her neck, and I saw her human-like face that looked so much like mine smiling, and I smiled myself.

As Ratchet was finishing examining Betty, Perceptor called me on my phone.

"Ms. Blu," Perceptor said.

"I said you should call me Susan."

Perceptor nodded at that. "I will remember."

"You have news about RC?"

"Yes. She's awake now."

"How is she?"

"I think you should come over. It's better for you to just see."

Fear for RC shot through my body. I reached up for Betty's hand. "Okay." And Perceptor told us to meet him in his lab.

-----

When we got to Perceptor's lab, we saw RC sitting up on Perceptor's examination table. She was naked, but she held a blanket around her. She looked just like before - human. My gorgeous Amazon girl. Perceptor was able to bring her back.

I ran to her and jumped as high as I could to hug her, and it was her. But what happened? Why wasn't she a robot anymore?

But, really, I didn't care so long as she was okay. I hugged her and didn't want to let go.

-----

Perceptor explained that RC was clearly affected when she was struck by the statue's cube, but whatever happened only fully manifested now. He would explain it all in detail later, he said, after we'd all gotten some rest. Suffice it to say, he said RC was okay, and there was no reason that things should change for us.

I believed it though, because RC looked and felt one hundred percent human.

In our room, after we had come back from taking a shower and we were relaxing over coffee, I asked her what was the last thing she could remember, and she told me everything that happened, up to the part where we got inside Betty and we made for Sky Lynx. It was fascinating to hear, but I was mostly relieved that she was okay.

"I'm hungry," RC said.

I looked at her, at a loss for something to say.

"Hey," she said. "Perceptor said it's okay."

Before I could reply, she dragged me out of the room. Betty trailed us as we walked to the mess.

It was dinnertime and the mess was a bit full. There were a few Autobots there, too, obviously not to have dinner, but many had human friends on the base, and would usually accompany them into the mess hall to chat.

It was a bit cramped for them but they made do. And I suppose everyone was used to this by now since the Autobots were more-or-less ignored.

They couldn't fit in the human-sized furniture so just sat down on the floor, but RC did... barely, so we took seats at a corner table. I had one plastic tray with a salad, soup and a corned beef sandwich, which was already a lot for me. As for RC, she had three heaping trays. Betty, excuse me, "Bumblebee," sat on the floor beside me. I leaned over and gave her a little hug around the neck, and she gave me a light hug as well.

"Sorry there's no food here for you, honey," I said.

"It's alright. I brought my own." She produced a large sports bottle and put it on the dining table.

"Oh! What's that? Cranberry juice?"

"Hi-test gasoline from the motor pool."

"Oh."

"It's great that you found out how to transform, Betty," RC said. "How does it feel?"

"It's good to be able to manipulate my environment much more easily, Captain. In my vehicle form, it is not so easy. Hands are so much better than wheels."

"That's great," RC grinned and started eating.

We talked some more as many of the people around us watched and listened surreptitiously. As before, RC and I were getting a lot of attention, but apparently, Bumblebee was getting the same kind of thing from the Autobots. I mean, who could blame them? Bumblebee was an Autobot hottie. She looked like me, after all! Heehee.

Having gone back to our room, RC and I changed into some comfortable clothes and settled down for the night. Betty, I mean Bumblebee, insisted on staying out in the corridor.

RC put our two folding beds together and we snuggled under the sheets. I didn't want to push it, even though I badly wanted to, so I made no other demands other than cuddling. I didn't know how RC would take the girl-girl thing. I'm happy enough for now. I could wait.

She was so big, she used up most of the space from both beds, which forced me to practically sleep on top of her. She didn't seem to mind, given she was asleep and had a small smile on her face.

For me, I loved it. She was so soft and warm, and her scent surrounded me. I had my head pillowed on her boobies, her arms wrapped around me and I was surrounded in a nest of her soft and fragrant gold-and-silver tresses. Sure, the odd hipbone and elbow got in the way, but I didn't care much. I would unconsciously run my hand over her soft, smooth skin, causing her to shiver unconsciously from time to time. I tried not to do that anymore as I might end up tickling her.

But I’ve seen her as a robot girl. Clearly, she wasn’t human anymore. But I didn’t care. She was still RC.

It was the most wonderful night ever. My darling Amazon girl.

-----

I woke up the following morning cranky. I mean, wouldn't you? This business of falling asleep in someone's arms was clearly something dreamed up by some stupid romance novelist. My shoulder blades hurt! And my hip!

But when I opened my eyes, I found RC's beautiful face looking down onto mine, her hair like a waterfall cascading over me, her blue sparkling eyes looking into mine.

And my crankiness disappeared.

"I love you," she whispered. And I burst into tears.

-----

Before I let RC go to her appointment with Perceptor, I insisted on measuring her again. Perceptor said she had grown to seven feet two - five inches taller than her six feet nine two days ago. So, after all the trouble I had gone through to get her a new set of clothes that fit, all of that was thrown out the window. Ah well.

But RC was in a good mood so she didn't mind me doing the measuring thing again while we shared morning coffee. I didn't mind the little chore as well since between each measurement, I was able to sneak in a little smooch.

As soon as she had left our room, I went through all my measurements, making sure I didn't miss anything.

She was now seven feet two inches tall, like Perceptor said, five inches taller than before. According to the Guinness Book, the tallest living woman was eight feet, two inches. RC wasn't that tall, but she was now as tall as the sixth tallest woman.

Her vital statistics were now 50-32-50, an incredible 40I size bra, and a ladies size twenty-one in shoes. She essentially had the same ratio of sizes as before, except slightly larger in scale now.

I made a call to my friend Darryl again, and he said they would start going through the Base's Supply Office and look for any and all items that would fit RC. At least Darryl was able to get her off-the-shelf shoes right away, and Arlene would be coming in later in the day with new uniforms. I was disappointed that none of the shoes Darryl got were anything like Jimmy Choos or anything that I hoped for - mostly Target stuff, but with size twenty-one tootsies, there weren't too many choices to pick from. One thing Arlene helped him with was to select shoes that looked like the high-end ones, and her people did some magic with scissors and knives to remove any offending K-Mart type labels. (I know the deal about removing labels, so, shhh! don't tell anyone!)

I called Pat again, and did a little song and dance and told her that my measurements were extremely off and she needed to replace what she sent before. I, of course, got an earful about this, but she still decided to help us out. Too bad I had to pay again.

Thing was, there were strictly no off-the-shelf clothes for RC this time, and we had to make do with what we had for at least two weeks until Pat got RC's stuff ready. I didn't mind that RC would have to make do, but she had enough to get by. And besides, I was looking forward to RC wearing tight stuff too small for her.