33-This Uncle wants me to call him Big Brother?
2/2/5/4353 M.A.C - Great Western Rainforest- Afternoon
"Damn you Iron Liver!"
Arctic chuckled at his big sister's self-inflicted condition as he pulled the cart. Emi appeared to have recovered from the previous night's festivities before they had departed, but the sustained physical effort had proved too much for her weakened state and the symptoms had reappeared.
"Your fault. Stop cry and walk. You no have to pull, easy life."
"Meh, would you rather I leave you and Arctic alone? I'm the all-important buffer I'll have you know! With all the mental fatigue it is causing me, feel lucky I don't jump on the cart and have you pull me. Are we stopping for a rest soon?"
A vein started throbbing on a section of Sun Hanukong's forehead that wasn't covered by his fur as Emi pushed his patience to its limit.
"You stop asking. Take rest when stop for day. You see shelter? No ask again until answer is yes."
"Shelter? Fancy. Thought we were going to be roughing it."
"Forest floor dangerous at night. Tribe build shelters and path. Lots of work keep good during storm seasons."
Emi remembered some scenes from back on Earth that showed unpracticable forests. Between huge swathes of fallen trees, flooded lowlands, and unpredictable mudslides, storms could cause a lot of damage to this kind of environment. Emi sidled closer to Sun Hanukong and used one of her newly reacquired hands to pat him on the head.
"Thank you for your efforts Uncle Hanukong. Without the road, this would be a much tougher journey. Also, have you been studying extra hard in preparation for our journey? I feel like you got more fluent. "
Sun Hanukong jerked his head to the side and looked away, avoiding eye contact. The blood rushing to his face turned his complexion into a healthy shade of pink, matching the color of the aura he was exuding at the moment.
Man, this guy is such a softy. Is this what they call "gap moe"?
"Please call me "Big Brother" not "Uncle". I only 25. You say you over 20 yes?"
Emi nearly stumbled as Sun Hanukong dropped that bombshell of a request.
He wants me to call him "oni chan"? My opinion of him did improve, and I was technically adopted into his family...ooh I know!
"Sure, I'll call you "Big Brother", if you start calling Arctic "Little Brother". Since he started calling me "Big Sister" first after all. Also, avoid asking ladies about their ages, unless you want to offend them."
Sun Hanukong's face started twisting upon itself, like a rag being wrung out.
Heh! That's a real Sophie's choice I left you with. No sweat off my back either way.
***
"Are we there yet, Uncle Sun?"
Arctic winced as Sun Hanukong stopped pulling the handcart and turned toward Emi with an annoyed look on his face.
"You see shelter? If no, not there. Stop with uncle, I will call little brother. Because one always pull cart, no can talk together until arrive. I keep speed to arrive when sun go down, look at sun if want know distance left."
Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.
Sun Hanukong got back into position and the three resumed their journey.
"Hey, Arctic, if the forest is dangerous at night, why were you outside when we met."
"Glowing mushrooms make enough light and I can move in the treetops faster than what would hunt me. Also, it was close to the village and the adults hunt in the area, so less dangerous animals around."
"Huh? You guys keep the road in order, upkeep the shelters, and keep the dangerous wildlife in check? You should really get the Empire to pay you for your services. Back where I came from, that was a fairly well-paid job called wildlife ranger."
"We don't get paid, but we do get gifts from border villages when we go to trade, and they always give us good deals. Even when they need help during the harvest season, those who work get paid in whatever crop they helped harvest or in tools."
Sun Hanukong stopped their proceedings once more, this time to inspect some disturbed ground and bushes on either side of the path. He bent down and picked up a handful of the displaced dirt and let it sift through the opening between his fingers.
"Boars came through. Now is safe. Track at least 2 days old. Dirt dry and no bugs."
Sun Hanukong remained standing for a few seconds until Emi understood what he wanted. She walked up to him and patted his head once more.
"Good job Big Bro Sun, well done spotting the potential danger. I can see you are trying hard at your mission of keeping us safe."
Sun Hanukong appeared to be enjoying the attention, until he spotted Arctic staring at them, his eyes wide open in shock. This time, his complexion turned a mix of pink and red as anger and embarrassment competed for control over his emotional state. Arctic, being the smart monkey that he was, rushed to the front of the cart and started pulling before his Sun Hanukong could draw him into an argument. Sun Hanukong walked to the front of the carriage and started shuffling his hands together, an annoyed expression on his face.
Heh! That's funny. My ability is translating his hands shuffling as an unintelligible grumble.
"This is getting boring, how about I sing for you two?"
"No singing! Have to listen danger. Talk is ok today because close to village. Next days silent, attract danger if no."
"Gah, I'm gonna concentrate on gathering my vital energy then."
"No eat cumquat yet. Less than full day between give runny poop. Runny poop and lot of walking make painful bum."
"No wonder you don't have a romantic partner yet, if this is the way you sign to the ladies, you might grow as old as Majusculus without finding one for yourself. You obviously spent too much time with the guys, I'll give you a crash course until we split up."
Emi was thankful that Sun Hanukong could not see emotional auras the way she could, because it took all of Arctic's self-control to stop himself from showing how amused he was at the moment.
"Is fine. I find wife after become leader. You smart, make good wife. Maybe ask you then."
Emi thought it was a good thing Arctic did not have eyes behind his head because that last statement would have probably shocked him so much that he and the cart would have gone off-roading.
No. Stop it brain. I don't need you to replay the intro from Monkey Magic. There shall be no monkey born from my eggs! If I even make those. Would I be on some sort of monthly cycle, or more like a chicken? Wish I'd read up a bit more on owls before becoming one.
"Nah, too late dude. If you ever ask me, I'll just remember this conversation, with the whole bit about runny poop included. Don't worry Big Bro Sun, I'll help and be your matchmaker. Lesson 1 : Avoid asking a Lady about her age, sizes, or weight. Lesson 2: Be delicate in cases where you need to speak of anything a body produces and can't avoid it. Lesson 3: Show interest in her instead of showing off. Instead of enjoying his torment, you'd better be listening Arctic. This advice should also help with your future prospects."
As the journey progressed and the sun grew closer to the horizon, both monkeys were growing extremely tired. While one might think that this fatigue had been brought on by the strenuous exercise they had kept up throughout the afternoon, the truth was a lot dumber. While at first the two monkeys had relished their turns away from pulling the cart, they now considered it a welcome break from having to interact with Emi and her dubious romantic advice. They knew she meant well, but they could tell that she had not spent a significant amount of time with females of their species, and therefore had no idea how far off the mark some of her advice was getting.
"Lesson 46: Always keep good table manners. Use the right cutlery for the dish, keep your mouth closed when you chew, and avoid pungent foods during romantic meals."
Before Emi could think up the content of lesson 47, both monkeys let out a sigh of relief as the shelter that marked the first pitstop in their journey appeared in the distance. As the first day of their travels reached its end, Emi started dreading the silence that was imposed throughout the rest of their travels. Unbeknownst to her, both her companions were extremely pleased that her lessons would be coming to an end.
"No worries, we can always keep the lessons going while we prepare for sleep and have our meals."
The two monkeys started ferrying the contents of the cart into the shelter as Emi continued, undisturbed. While reaching this place had been their foremost goal, Emi's companions could no longer wait to be back on the road in the morning.