http%3a%2f%2fi.imgur.com%2fOFyH5Q3.png [http://i.imgur.com/OFyH5Q3.png] n the wake of the monumental battle on Yôkai Mountain, in which Yôkai and Kami seriously clashed for the first time in many years, rubble and bodies lay scattered about the shrine grounds. The overwhelming divine presence of Kanako and Suwako easily dispersed the miasma of yôki left behind by O-hakuka and her followers, returning the sacred atmosphere to the place of worship.
I rushed to the front of the main shrine, where the lifeless body of Komeiji Satori lay, ignoring the remains of the Futakuchi-onna. Utsuho was battered very badly, but stirring weakly, so I left her for now. Kneeling beside the pale and unmoving Satori, I noticed that her third eye was closed, just like Koishi’s. Praying that it did not hold the meaning I thought it did, I put my ear to her slightly parted lips while looking down her chest to check for movements. To my terror, she was not breathing. I pressed my fingers on her neck to feel for a pulse, but there was none.
I willed my left eye’s vision to work and noticed that Satori’s aura was absent. Her soul had left her body and before me was just an empty shell. Without a moment of hesitation, I began to perform CPR, holding her nose closed and breathing into her soft but cold lips. Pressing down on her chest while my mind was screaming for her to live, I could feel panic taking over my very being. I could not – would not let her die here!
“Kanako-sama…” I heard the voice of the shrine maiden behind me, followed by the steps of the straw sandals worn by the Kami approaching.
“Step aside, boy,” The firm voice of the goddess resounded from above me. I was about to protest, when she picked me up by my collar and separated me from Satori, then dropped me beside her like a sack of rice. Before I could stand up again and retaliate, lightning struck the Kami, the electricity jumping over from her causing my hairs to stand on end. Kanako put her hands on the small Yôkai’s right shoulder and under her left breast, the positions used when applying a defibrillator. The electricity coursing through the Kami was transferred to Satori’s small body, jolting it once. With her ear on the small girl’s chest, Kanako listened for a heartbeat, but apparently found none when she immediately performed another hit. Watching her small frame jolt from the shocks was heart-breaking, but the effort appeared to be in vain. After one last time, the Kami sighed, stood up and shook her head.
My mind went blank at the meaning of this gesture. A gust of scorching air washed over the area, and I turned to see the hell raven, now wingless and bleeding all over her body, but a blazing aura surrounding her, slowly approaching with unsteady steps. With her mouth hanging open slightly, she focused her empty eyes on her mistress’ body, all the while looking like her soul had left her body as well, as if she was only driven by a memory that willed her to protect Satori. When she was close enough to see that the pink-haired girl was not moving, her teeth made an audible gritting sound, her sight gained focus and the expression on her face distorted into one of anguish mixed with impotent rage. A roaring scream rose to the skies and the nuclear fusion inside her body intensified, setting the very air around her ablaze.
“Rest, sorrowful raven,” Kanako whispered and walked into the radiant light that emerged from Utsuho’s body unscathed and touched the eye-like dome on her chest with her palm. Immediately, the heat disappeared as if it had been switched off, and the hell raven collapsed in unconsciousness.
I looked at Satori with my left eye’s spiritual vision again, reaffirming myself of the fact that there was not a hint of a soul left in her body; she was really and truly dead, and there was nothing I could do to bring her back. As the realization finally hit home, my emotions, dulled by the loss of half of my soul, boiled over. Mamizô, and now Satori, had both been killed by O-hakuka and her followers, and I was the reason for their presence in this world.
I sat beside Satori’s body in a daze, Utsuho’s head resting on my lap as she lay unconscious, and watched the miko in white and blue heal the Tengu with her powers. A part of my mind reminded me oft he fact that this was the Arahitogami, a human revered as a Kami for performing miraculous deeds during her lifetime. Another part picked up on that thought and cynically questioned why she did not bring about a miracle and brought the dead back. Death was something final, or so common sense told me, but having seen all the supernatural occurrences since coming to Gensôkyô taught me that there may be a way. Shaking my head at these thoughts, I silently mocked myself for my immaturity.
Suddenly, there was an uproar when the Tengu appeared to spot new intruders and went on alert despite their wounds. I looked up to see from a distance that Suika, carrying Koishi on her back, accompanied by Rin, was on her landing approach. My heart dropped when I saw that the green-haired girl was motionless, completely unlike her usual hyperactive self. With Utsuho resting on my lap, I did not move and waited for them to come to me. However, the Tengu were lined up in a defensive formation, their weapons and shields held high against the Oni. Shameimaru Aya informed them of the identity of the three, and they reluctantly retreated, cautiously watching their natural enemy as she strode through their midst and towards me.
“Satori-sama!” Rin shouted and ran the last few steps, when she saw her mistress lying beside me. “Kagamin, what happened to her?” I could not look the Kasha in the eyes and averted my gaze. It appeared that this was enough of an answer for her, when she collapsed to the ground in a sitting position, her legs giving out at the news. “No, tell me that’s not true… Satori-sama…” As a Kasha Yôkai, she was able to smell death, and she knew that the pale girl was indeed no longer among the living.
“So you were too late?” Suika asked, as she came to stand before me. There was no hint of blame in her tone or expression, as she looked down at Utsuho. From her appearance she could tell that it had been an intense fight. She put Koishi down next to the hell raven, and covered her with a blanket. Seeing the heaving chest of the little sister, I had to hold back my tears; she was alive, but she would wake up to find that her sister was dead.
“Don’t blame yourself, Kyôma.” Suika saw through my expression. “There’s nothing you can do in a fight between Yôkai and Kami… yet.” I was not in the state of mind to pay attention to the small but important addition at the end. Rin was hunched over her mistress’ body, her face buried in the small chest, her muffled cries further serving to shatter my heart.
Utsuho stirred, opening her eyes while blinking; when she saw me, looking down at her, her expression grew grim in realization. She jolted up and looked at the Kasha crying over the motionless Satori. Only now did I notice that the red eye on her chest was gone, a large but old looking scar remainig in its place. The hell raven stood still for a moment, processing the death of her cherished mistress, before she crumbled to her knees and tears silently began to roll down her blank face.
Koishi’s empty green eyes suddenly flicked open without warning and she sat up straight, her upper body at an impressive ninety degrees angle to her legs, the blanket covering her dropping from her shoulders uncared for. Stretching as if she just had a comfortable nap, she turned to look at me with her usual emotionless smile. For a moment, I was too dumbfounded to react, but she already stood up, noticed Rin and Utsuho crying, and looked down at the seemingly sleeping Satori next to me.
“Oh, big sis! Now we’re matching!” Koishi was referring to her sister’s closed third eye. Hearing this, it felt like a boulder clogged up my throat. I wanted to tell her the truth, but my voice would not come out. The Kasha and the hell raven were not able to speak in their current mental states, either. It was up to me, after all, but I feared the consequences.
“She’s dead.” It was Suika’s voice that finally dropped the truth. The green-eyed girl turned to look at the one who spoke with a blank gaze, clearly not understanding what the Oni meant.
“Hey, big sis, if you sleep like this, you’ll catch a cold. It’s quite chilly here,” She said, neglecting to care about the fact that she was naked herself. Picking up the discarded blanket, she motioned to cover her sister with it, but Rin was still hunched over her. “Orin, can you move?” At those words, the Kasha looked up to Koishi with tear-stained eyes, realizing that the subconscious girl was still not able to grasp the situation. At that heart-wrenching fact, she broke out in empathetic sobbing but moved aside. Just watching it caused my heart to ache, and tears to form in my eyes, but I desperately held onto my composure.
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“There, now you’ll be fine. Big sis is such a sleepyhead, to be able to sleep in front of a shrine like that.” After covering Satori with the blanket, Koishi turned around to me, her smiling but empty expression seemingly staring into my soul. I could not hold on any longer and embraced her firmly, a means for myself to hide my own expression from her.
“Ah, Kyôma, you can’t! Not in front of so many people!” She cried out jokingly, acting shy. Her behavior was only making it worse for those who understood the situation, but I would not blame her for it. “It hurts…” Koishi’s muffled voice came from my chest and I motioned to let go, but she suddenly grabbed onto me, burying her face in my clothes. “No… something in my chest hurts.” I looked down in surprise, but could not see her face, feeling her warm breath permeating through my clothes.
Finally, when she separated from me and lifted her face, her expression was the same mask of emptiness as always. I took off my top and covered her with it, upon which she snuggled into the warmed fabric. “What is this feeling? Why does my chest hurt? Am I sick? Can Yôkai become sick?” The questions were clearly written onto her face, but every word she said was spoken with empty eyes, as if played back from an emotionless machine. That she could not understand her own feelings was possibly the most painful thing imaginable, being unable to mourn the death of her sister because she was incapable of feeling anything.
“That is death, right?” Koishi said, turning to look at the cold body of her sister. It was a throwback to that time I found her watching a squashed earthworm die. Then, too, she had asked me that question, without the hint of a feeling in her hollowly cheerful voice. “I’ve seen it many times. But this is the first time I have this pain in my chest.” Shifting her gaze back at me, I seemed to witness a hint of something in her eyes. “Can you tell me what this is, Kyôma?”
“It’s sadness, Koishi-chan,” I responded quietly, looking into her eyes with conviction.
“Huh? Sadness? But…” She appeared confused, when confronted with the truth. Suddenly, tears formed in her eyes, even as her face remained expressionless. When a drop rolled down her cheek, she noticed it and lifted a hand to catch it. “What’s this? Did it start raining?” Looking up, she noticed that the sky was tinted a dark red in the setting sun, but there was not a cloud in sight. “Uh, my vision is blurry… I must be ill after all…”
Watching Koishi like this made me feel like my heart was being squeezed; she was too pitiful, trying to realize the fact that emotions were resurfacing in her, despite the fact that they were supposedly irreversibly lost.
Then, as if a dam broke, the tears started flowing freely. “I… I closed my third eye… so that I… would never have to feel again.” Koishi pressed out between sobs. Apparently she possessed enough consciousness to remember that she had discarded her identity as a Satori Yôkai to free herself from all the negative feelings of the world. Even then, losing her beloved sister was an impulse strong enough to awaken the last vestiges of her previous existence and invoke feelings long forgotten. She finally broke down crying, giving voice to her grief.
The Moriya Shrine was located at more than two thousand meters above the ground, where the nights grew cold even during summer. I sat on the engawa of the residence building reserved for shrine workers, to the right side of the torii. The miko had invited everyone to stay the night after the occurrences earlier, and we had gladly accepted. Koishi had cried herself to sleep, and Rin and Utsuho were with her. Suika seemed to know the Kami and went to speak with them, leaving me to my own thoughts.
I looked up at the bright stars in the moonless sky, thinking about all the occurrences resulting from my choice to come to this world. Clenching my fists until my knuckles turned white, I fought against the emerging feelings of regret; if I had chosen to remain in the outside world and forgotten about Gensôkyô’s existence, none of this would have happened.
Suddenly arms wrapped around my neck, something pressed against my back and a chin dropped onto my hair. From the shackles on the wrists of the arms and a sweet smell, a mix of her personal scent and of alcohol, that always surrounded her, I could tell that it was Suika. She wordlessly embraced me from behind and we remained like this for a while as I closed my eyes.
“You’re still blaming yourself.”
“If I had known that coming here would cause all this…”
“It would have eventually happened, with or without you. They came to Gensôkyô because you were the last to know about their existence in the outside world. One day you would have forgotten about them, too, and the result would have been the same.” The little Oni spoke softly, soothing my muddled feelings.
“But it didn’t have to happen now…”
“No, you mean, you wouldn’t have had to watch it happen. In the end, that’s the only difference to it; you’re aware of it now, rather than blissfully living your life in the outside world, ignorant of what’s happening here.” Suika let go and I turned around to see her expression. When I did, her hands reached out and took hold of my cheeks, as she brought her face close to mine, forcing me to look into her eyes. “But you’re here, so you should only think about what you can do.” She let go and sat down in front of me.
“What I can do…” I repeated the words quietly.
“When I saved the little sister, she was involved in some sort of ritual. I broke her out of the barrier before it ended,” The Oni explained about the circumstances involving Koishi’s rescue. “I’m sure that with the catalyst removed, the ritual remains unfinished.” Her red eyes looked into mine intently. “This isn’t over yet. In fact, I think this was only the beginning.”
“Do you know what that ritual was about?” I set my mind on the future for now; there would be another time for brooding over the past.
“I’m just a simple Oni. We value strength and have no need for rituals. They’re performed by those who wish to obtain something they can’t through their own capabilities. I don’t know what exactly that O-hakuka is trying to achieve, but it’s certainly a means to gain a greater power,” Suika’s expression was serious, one of the rare times I saw her not speaking with an aloof smile. “Those who usually know about these things would be magicians and shrine maidens. I already talked to the Moriya Kami and miko, and they can’t tell what the ritual was about.”
“Magicians?” So there were humans who could fling fireballs from their hands or summon rain from the sky in this world. “Do you know someone who could help us?”
“I know a few, but our best bet would be the bookworm.” Suika’s reply puzzled me, since I assumed that all magicians were hidden away in their ivory towers, reading and writing books all day long, seeing the light of day only when it fell through their small windows.
“Then let’s go,” I said, not a shred of hesitation left in me.
“Now? Are you sure?” The Oni looked at me with a slightly worried expression. It seemed that she was considering my physical and mental state, but I showed her a reassuring smile.
“I don’t feel tired and the sooner we get more information, the better… I don’t want anything like this to ever happen again.” I was surprised to hear the resolution within my own voice.
“What about the little sister?” I understood what she meant by that question right away.
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1. “Let’s leave… she’ll be safe here at the shrine.”
2. “I’ll talk to her about it… She has to decide for herself what she wants to do.”