A portrait of a brown haired woman with hazel eyes and a eye-catching smile sat on a eisel in the front of the church. There was not a lick of sunlight on that day. The clouds must’ve told the sun to take a hint.

Stephanie was actually dead.

Cries of deep anguish bounced off the wall of the church, drowning out the faint piano music. At least five rows were filled with people dressed in all black.

I stood far back, watching the rows fill up. I had found an old black dress of mine that must’ve shrunk seeing how it didn’t go past my thighs. I decided standing would be best until the service started.

The funeral was closed casket for obvious reasons but people still came up to touch her casket or say a few words.

When the ushers finally closed the door, I took a seat far back, strategically placing a pamphlet on my lap.

“Thank you all for taking the time to celebrate the life of Stephanie Marlow.”

I looked up. Behind the podium stood a brown haired woman with a few streaks of grey that had been pulled into a bun. She looked at the crowd with her piercing blue eyes though at the moment her stare was distant. She was Stephanie’s mother and one of the only few lawyers in town.

She’d often pick Stephanie and I from football practice or would invite me over to have dinner when I was in high school so I had nothing but great things to say about her. Other people in this room, not so much.

But it seemed like everyone collectively agreed that whatever reservations they had for her or Stephanie could wait. A mother’s grief is a terrible thing to witness and even worse to experience.

I tuned out most of the service. Many of Stephanie’s relatives came up and said a few things about her character but couldn’t get much words out before they started crying.

I couldn’t help but relive the same horrifying moment of Stephanie’s body lying on the forest floor. It was terrifying to think how quickly someone could disappear from your life. I knew that first hand, and yet it still hurt the same. Probably even more.

I should’ve called. I get I was young, stupid, and jaded but if I knew then what I know now I wouldn’t have even bothered fighting with her. I would’ve not said anything about her stupid boyfriend if it meant just being with her for a moment longer.

It was during the closing song that I heard the door open and a man with a black button down and a matching cap entered the room.

I thought it was pretty shameless to show up a few minutes before the service ended; it was as if you wanted everyone to know you came for the free reception food. That seemed to be the case for most people here. Half of Stephanie’s neighborhood was here, but I doubt any of them knew her life or that she absolutely adored the color yellow.

I ignored the man and played around with the pamphlet. The date read October 6th, two weeks after Stephanie's death. The funeral had taken place two weeks after Stephanie’s death to allow her relatives time to fly in. Considering all these people were here, my presence didn’t matter.

I wasn’t sure if I was here to accept Stephanie’s death, or because her mother invited me. Maybe both.

But when I decided to attend the reception, I wasn’t expecting Stephanie’s mom to actively seek me out. In fact, I didn’t even know she remembered me.

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She had pulled me into a hug and squeezed my shoulders. “Thank you for coming.”

I nodded, forcing myself to accept the hug and she continued. “As crazy as it sounds, it’s refreshing to see you again, Janae.”

“Thank you for inviting me, I wasn’t sure you’d even want me here.”

She furrowed her eyebrows. “Why wouldn’t I want you here, dear? You were Stephanie’s best friend.”

Well, I used to be Stephanie’s best friend until she got with that boy, but it seemed irrelevant to point it out when her mom was grieving. Her brown eyes were surrounded by dark circles, that were barely covered by her concealer. Her lipstick was slightly smudged from what I assumed was from wiping her face. Her skin looked pale and sickly as if she were dead herself. And who could blame her? Her daughter was treated like a piece of meat.

I looked over her shoulder and began to search for Stephanie’s brother. “Where’s Andrew?”

She sighed heavily. “He couldn’t make it. His professor wouldn’t allow him to miss his exam.” She put her hand on her hip. “Besides, I think it’d be in our best interest if Andrew doesn’t attend. We don’t need any drama.”

I nodded as if I understood her. She then went on to tell me about how her firm was doing, how hard it was to walk in Stephanie’s room, and how empty the house felt without her.

I gave her a sad smile as she brushed her hand through my locks. I gained a sense of comfort and nostalgia from being around her. I remembered the late nights she would take Stephanie and me for ice cream, and always make sure to go when the worker I had a crush on was there. She was the closest thing I had to a second mother before Stephanie and I fell apart.

Ms. Marlow’s smile fell when she was approached by a man with a tacky suit, his head bald and lips burnt as if he were smoking.

“Is there something you need?” She asked, her soft voice now firm.

“Sorry to disturb you ma’am, I’m just here to offer my condolences and to give you this on behalf of the De La Cruz’s.” He reached into his suit and pulled out a fancy-looking envelope with Ms. Marlow’s full name on it.

She eyed the envelope suspiciously, but reluctantly took it. Once she opened it, I watched as her face turned from white to pink. Her jaw clenched and she held up the piece of paper in the air. From what I could see, it was a check.

“Is this some sick joke?”

The man seemed to be taken aback by her reaction. He cleared his throat. “No ma’am. The senator would like to help cover the costs of the funeral. He apologizes for not being able to attend.”

Her muscles tensed up and her eyes practically popped from her head. “The senator has my number,” She spat. “If he wanted to offer his condolences, he should’ve told me himself.”

“I apologize, I’m sure he didn’t mean to offend you.”

“I’m sure he didn’t. My daughter is dead and all he can do is offer me some money?” Her eyes stung with tears and her voice got louder, catching the attention of the other attendees in the reception.

She balled up the check and tossed it at his head. “How dare you! How dare you come here and give me this as if it makes a difference! They killed my daughter in his backyard!”

The man whispered another apology and quickly sprinted off. That should’ve been the end of it, but Ms. Marlow’s tears didn’t stop streaming down. Her voice only got louder and she began to flail her arms around as if she wanted to punch something. Anything.

I stood there in shock. I wanted to comfort her, but my feet seemed to be moving backward. I could feel my heart beating out of my chest and I felt the need to escape the situation. The closer people got, the more I needed to evade. I could not handle this.

I ended up on the steps outside, leading to the church. The cool breeze felt relaxing on my skin and the quiet seemed therapeutic. While attendees scurried inside, I got a waft of the food they were serving, but I wasn’t hungry. If anything, I felt like vomiting.

I pulled out my phone and began to mindless scroll through social media to kill time. It felt disrespectful to leave without saying good bye to Ms. Marlow, but I didn’t have to heart to go back inside yet. My distraction was interrupted, by a sarcastic deep voice.

“I didn’t know the diner was catering a funeral today.”

I looked up. It was my favorite person, vegan man. Or vegetarian. I didn’t know anymore.

I felt like ignoring him, but my mouth moved for me. “Funerals are our specialty. We get better rates.”

He chuckled, taking a seat next to me. It seemed he took my response as an invitation to continue bothering me. He still had the same hat on, but now a black button up. He was severely underdressed. His dark hair was peeking out from behind his neck and his cap covered his eyes. Even though I could barely see him, something felt familiar about him.

We sat in silence for a moment, it wasn’t uncomfortable, but it seemed appropriate considering we were at a funeral.

“How did you know Stephanie?” He asked.

I rubbed my lips together. “She was one of my childhood friends.”

“Damn, that’s rough.” He pulled down his cap as if he were paying respect. “It’s always the ones we grow up with that tend to leave the fastest.”

I gave him a dry laugh. “That was awfully profound of you, vegan man. Didn’t know you had it in you.”

He grinned. “Vegetarian.” I could feel him roll his eyes. “And I can be intelligent when I try.”

“I’m sure that’s true in another world, but how did you know Stephanie?”

He shuffled his feet a bit as if he were trying to choose his words carefully. “We were… close at one point, but fell apart. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, but neither one of us wanted to be in each other’s lives anymore.”

“That’s super vague. You gotta give me more than that. How do I know you’re not Stephanie’s stalker?”

He tilted his head towards me. “Stalker?”

“Yeah. You’re always wearing that cap and you don’t eat meat. That’s certified stalker behavior.”

“God, you won’t let the vegetarian thing go, won’t you?”

I shook my head. “I’ll drop it if you tell me more about Stephanie. Or I don’t know…your name?”

He bit his lip and stared out towards the street. His head snapped towards the right and he stood up from the steps.

“Where are you going?” I asked.

“Oh shit…” He said in response.

A woman appeared from a white car in black sunglasses and a large dark veil.

“Xai?” The woman called out.

Vegan man took off sprinting down the street, leaving me with more questions than answers.

How did he know Stephanie?