13.4
‘As I said before, Davey lad, I have lived many lives. Not all of them I am proud of. But this is one thing that has never sat right with me. As strong as I may appear, I have weaknesses that I am painfully aware of. My temper has always been my downfall.’
Davey looked at him, wondering what the hell he was going to say next.
‘You’ll no doubt find this out when you’re older, Davey lad, but there are people out there who are nothing but fucking snakes. I was once married to one such woman. Her name was Nancy. Papa Grim had always had his eye on her, but she had chosen me out of the two of us and he was man enough to respect that decision.
‘We were young when we got together. I fell head over heels for her and it seemed she was the same for me. Nancy painted a perfect picture, so good that you would never have dreamt of the way we ended up. She was older than me, and had a two-year-old daughter, Marjorie, from a previous relationship.
‘This mattered not to me. I loved that kid like she was my own. More than Nancy did in fact, it would turn out.
‘So things were peachy for the few years before we got married. I’d go out and work long days, while she watched the little one. She told me she couldn’t work because of issues with her mental health and at the time this never troubled me. I was happy to be the provider.
‘As things went on, wedded bliss turned out to not be so fucking blissful. This woman was on my back 24/7, always wanting more. We had the beautiful child, we had the perfect home, we had the fancy car.
‘But she always wanted more. I told her if she wanted more she needed to work too. She told me she couldn’t and I told her that she would have to settle for what we had.
‘She was happy to bring all of this up in front of little Marjorie, whereas I felt it was a matter that should be discussed in private, so as not to upset her.
‘This was the first thing that prickled me, that she cared more for herself than for her daughter. What kind of mother puts her own needs before those of her child, Davey lad?’
*
Solomon left the question hanging for a second before continuing. Davey was enrapt, not wanting to interrupt the King. He knew from the Freelands that the King had a flair for storytelling.
‘So this continued day in, day out. I foolishly thought she’d change, but I worked longer and longer hours trying to provide. But it was never going to be enough, Davey lad. I’m sure you can see that already, can’t you?’
Davey nodded.
‘I finally had had enough. I cut my hours back, I was exhausted. I had the nerve to go to the pub one night after work with some of the lads. I came back after a good drink to find her sitting with a face like a smacked arse.
‘“Shouldn’t you be saving your money instead of pissing it up the wall?” she sneered. And that was the first time I noticed how little she smiled. And how ugly that scowl made her. It was the first time the mask slipped. And I never forgot that.
‘It was like a teaser for a horror film, revealing the nightmares to come.
‘We had a blazing row and I finally said my piece. I refused to work overtime unless she got herself a job. Well, Davey lad, this woman must have been used to having her way all her life. I don’t think her parents must ever have said no to her.
‘She went apeshit. Threw me out of the house, screaming and cursing, throwing plates and cups – in front of Marjorie, I might add. I told her she was upsetting the child and went to comfort her, but Nancy pushed me away.
‘I felt no rage at this point, only sadness. Poor Marjorie was crying fit to raise hell. And now her Papa Bear – that’s what she always called me,’ he thumbed a tear from his eye. ‘Was leaving. Marjorie went to chase me, but Nancy dragged her away from the door.
‘I blew Marjorie a kiss and told her I’d see her soon. Nancy pulled that smacked arse face and said, “We’ll see about that.”
*
‘The next night, I went back to my home – and make no mistake, Davey lad, I grafted to pay for that house while she sat on her bony arse all day, so it was my fucking home – and tried to open the door.
‘The locks had been changed. There was another man’s car in the drive.
‘I saw red. But I knew that Marjorie was in, so I reined myself in. That child meant the fucking world to me, Davey lad, and I would not do a thing to upset her.
‘I calmly rapped on the door. Nancy answered, semi-clad, eyes like pissholes in the snow. Some fucking smackhead was wittering on in the background. My stomach crawled up in my throat at the realisation of what was happening.
‘I asked why I couldn’t get in. Nancy said I was a danger to her and Marjorie and she’d decided to change the locks.
‘Already lies were being spread about me. People looked at me differently that day. But, unlike her, I never had an image to maintain. I couldn’t have given one single fuck what people thought of me.’
Davey laughed at this.
‘Only the weak put stock in the opinions of others, Davey lad. Have the strength and courage to live your life, your way. But, I digress. Anyway, I explained I was sleeping rough now. She cared not. Like I said, I now realise that I was just a cash machine to this woman. It was never love from her. Looking back, I realise she was incapable of love.
‘So I went back, asked if I could take Marjorie out for tea. Somehow me trying to spend some time with my beloved stepdaughter was twisted into me stalking them.
‘Over the next few months, things went on like this. I’d sleep on a mate’s settee or sometimes rough if circumstances made it so, go to work, try to see Marjorie on the evening, all the while putting up with the stares and whispers of those stupid enough to be fooled by her playing the victim.
‘Thing is, Davey lad, the best thing to do with a snake like this is to ignore them. They crave the attention, good or bad. Cos they lie and they manipulate things to make themselves look like a fucking saint.
‘But my fucking temper got the better of me time after time. I’d kick off with people when they were staring at me, offer to rearrange their fucking molars, y’know.
‘I now know that this was the wrong way to go about it. Silence would have been much better.
‘The next time I went to my house – and I emphasise that it was my fucking house again, Davey lad, cos that still boils my piss – and was told that the police were on the way.
‘I explained the situation to them, but Nancy had already twisted things to make me look like the bad guy.
‘I spent the night in the cells for wanting to spend time with the little girl I’d raised as my own.
‘I was told if I ever went back to the house I’d be locked up.
‘Now, Davey lad, someone who’d use a child as a weapon like that is the scum of the earth. Hurting a child for your own selfish means is reprehensible. And, let’s make no mistake, it is the mark of an unfit parent.
‘Now I went round one more time, as one flippant remark from her mother almost made me plant her one. She’d had Marjorie with her. She blew me a kiss – kids never truly swallow the poison that gets drip-fed to them by their so-called mothers, thank the Gods – and all I did was return it.
‘Her mother said something to me that brought that big ole red curtain down.
‘Now when that red curtain’s down, Davey lad, you can’t see the real world. It’s like you’re charging through a maze with a blindfold on. And Nancy knew that. She knew that she could poke away and I was weak enough to let it eat away at me.
‘Months this had gone on. For months I had bottled this all up and I was ready to fucking explode. Well that comment was like she’d stepped on a landmine. I stormed round to the house, forgetting everything those gullible policemen – Gods bless ’em – had told me, and brayed on the door.’
*
‘I told Nancy exactly what I thought of her, Davey lad. I got it all off my chest. And see, people were starting to look at her different now, cos now there were two versions of the story going round and she didn’t like that.
‘But she just pressed some more of my buttons until I exploded.
‘I didn’t hit her, or push her. In fact, I didn’t even touch her.
‘But the cold-hearted bitch got me enraged, then threw me out. Afterwards, she scratched her face just right and blacked her own eye somehow and started telling everyone that I’d kicked the shit out of her. The worst part is she did the same to little Marjorie to make it look like I’d hurt her too.
‘Anyone who tells you this used to be a man’s world is a fucking liar, Davey lad, cos you just try taking a child off the mother, even if they are a drug-addled, abusive, spiteful piece of shit.
‘This thing was all geared up in the woman’s favour, and Nancy played this to her full advantage. My family were dragged into it. They were stopped from seeing Marjorie, even though they’d done nothing wrong.
‘In the end, they just blanked her, which really got to her, like I said, these fucking snakes crave the spotlight. Turn the power off and they start drowning in their own self-doubt. I just wish I’d known that back then.
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‘So I spent a few months in jail for this fabricated assault. That really toughened me up, so silver linings and all that.
‘I was not the cheery, warm-hearted individual that sits across from you now, Davey lad. I still had much to learn about the world. And about myself too.
‘I was bitter, full of rage, on an extremely short fuse.
‘I got myself another year inside by shattering the skull of a prisoner who had the nerve to look at me wrong.
‘Word spread that I was not one to fuck with in there. No one really bothered me after that, I just kept my head down, worked out and tried to process what was happening.
‘Though I knew it was a bad idea, I went round to my house again. I just couldn’t live without seeing Marjorie, my little Huggy bear. She was six now and growing up to be a beautiful young lady. Though the sorrow on her face and the bruises on her arms saddened me.
‘Why she couldn’t have come and lived with me, Davey lad, I’ll never know. I’d have looked after her better than that lying, drug-addled slut ever could.’
There was genuine rage on Solomon’s face now, genuine hatred, but that was soon replaced by sorrow and regret.
‘What happened?’ Davey said as the King began to sob, tears streaming down from his good eye.
His huge frame shook with sobs.
‘I heard on the grapevine that Marjorie had gotten ill. The type of ill that you don’t recover from.’
The scars that this had left on Solomon’s psyche were manifest on his face.
‘And do you know what this supposed best mother in the world did?
‘When she found out about it, the only thought on her mind… was for how hard it was going to be for her to care for Marjorie. How poor Nancy would miss out.’ Solomon hawked and spat on ground in disgust.
‘As I’ve said, she never cared about that poor kid, Davey lad. Not for a fucking second. All she ever was was a bargaining chip to her.
‘When they found out about the diagnosis, she went straight to the shopping centre. Retail therapy was always something she enjoyed… especially when it was some other poor bastard’s money.
‘She took Marjorie round the shops with her then took her to McDonalds.
‘She bought her a milkshake then told her to sit tight while she went to the toilet.
‘And… this is the part that really boils my blood, Davey lad… she fucking got in the car and drove off, leaving her at the mall.
‘Only the Gods know how long that poor girl – that poor dying girl, let’s not forget – sat there before she realised that something was wrong, Davey lad, but it breaks my heart thinking about it.
‘Marjorie was taken into care and I fought my hardest to get custody of her, to even see her, to spend some time with her before she passed on. I’d have spent my every waking second with her, Davey lad, making sure she had some jokes and stories to tell the Gods when she went up to sit among them.
‘But because of that lying bitch I couldn’t even get in the same building as Marjorie.’
Solomon’s expression was equal parts rage and sorrow, but sorrow took over fully now.
‘And a few weeks later that beautiful child died surrounded by strangers.’
*
Davey threw his arms around the King and did his best to comfort him.
He wept openly for a few minutes, then dried his eye.
Sniffed hard.
The hateful expression was on his face again.
‘I went to the funeral, but there were police there. I couldn’t get inside to say my goodbyes to the person who meant the most to me in all of this world.
‘Nancy was there, centre of the spotlight as usual. But I made sure that people knew the real version of events. Papa Grim was the poor sod payrolling her now so he came to me to tell me to stop spreading my side of the story.
‘“Don’t you think she has enough to deal with right now?” he said.
‘As I’m sure you’ve already guessed, Davey lad, that red curtain came down again. “She left her to die with strangers, that’s what fucking type of mother she is,” I roared.
‘Nancy came out of the church and that curtain enveloped me.
‘I ran for her, fully intending to ensure she was the next one to be fitted up for a coffin.
‘The police shit themselves when they saw me running. I scattered them and ran full pelt at her, screaming my rage at her.
‘She began to cry. Someone scolded me, so I made sure they knew the truth. Everyone shunned her now. But that wasn’t enough for me.
‘I wanted blood.
‘And by the Gods, I would’ve got it too, if my brother hadn’t asked me what little Marjorie would have made of me murdering her mother.
‘I stopped in my tracks. All the strength in my legs deserted me and I fell to my knees in the dirt.
‘I was cuffed and taken away again by the police.
‘This time they were more sympathetic, in light of the circumstances and the fact that everyone now knew that this bitch was so full of shit she could have fertilised every farm in the fucking country.
‘She moved away from town after that – like I said, these fucking snakes can’t stand when someone sees behind the mask they wear for the world. And once you’ve seen behind it, things are never the same again. Never. You hate them for what they are. But you also hate yourself for being taken in. They’re so damned good at it that they take everyone in, unless you’ve seen their kind before.
‘So yes, she moved away from town, and that should have been the end of the story.’
*
‘A good few years after all of this happened, the bombs fell. The world was changed forever. I’d kind of hoped Nancy was vaporised in the blast.
‘Does that make me a bad person, Davey lad? That I want to see shitty things happen to shitty people? It’s something I’ve wrestled with for a long time now.’
Davey left the question unanswered.
‘Anyway, it was a few months after I’d escaped the City of Dogs. I was fumbling around, trying to find my way in this new world.
‘I was in one of the Grim camps on the other side of Serenity when this newcomer walked into town.
‘I laughed when I saw her, cos this woman who always had perfect makeup (gotta cover that smacked-arse face somehow I suppose), the finest clothes, that fake mask applied, was in rags, covered in shit and ashes and blood.
‘And I was at home in all of this now – in some ways I prefer this world to how it used to be. Cos this world is real. There ain’t no blagging anything now. There’s no fucking free rides any more. You have to work in this world; if you’re lazy you die. And she looked so out of place.
‘Nancy was already crying, already on the verge of a breakdown.
‘And then she saw me.
‘I stared her right in the face. I was calm. I was just kinda enjoying her discomfort. Watching her have to get off her arse and actually contribute. Watching her live in the real world for a fucking change, not some fake, paid-for-by-some-mug life of luxury.
‘She was shaking like a shitting dog. She didn’t dare look at me.
‘I told her to sit her sorry arse down and get some food. After all the world had been through, I thought we could at least sit and be civil to each other. So much had changed. But she still hadn’t got her head round the fact that this was not all about her any more.
‘Tia was there – like I’ve said, I rescued her from the City of Dogs and she had been with me ever since.
‘She looked at Tia, looked at me, with that smacked arse face that seems to be her default setting, and began to spout lies once more.
‘I shut her down instantly. After everything that had happened, she still couldn’t tell the truth.
‘She made some remark to Tia about me.
‘The curtain came down, Davey lad. The final curtain. For her, anyways.
‘I had a split-second of rational thought, long enough to send Tia away – I will always try to protect a child’s innocence, even in all of this – but after that I was a mere puppet for my rage.
‘I had no control over my actions, but I found my fist flying towards that lying mouth.
‘I heard a crack, amplified but also distorted, like I was underwater – cos that’s kinda what it feels like when the curtain’s down – and I realised I’d broken her jaw.
‘I don’t know what happened after that, but when the curtain lifted, I was sat by the campfire, blood matted to my face and beard. Dripping thickly from my hands.
‘There was a bloody chunk of masonry by my side, blood that looked black all over it.
‘There was a lot of it.
‘And I was kinda frightened, cos the punch to her jaw was the last thing I remembered.
‘I looked over and I saw her head was all caved in like a burst football.
‘I was shocked and scared. But I was happy. I had finally stopped her spouting lies.
‘And it was perfect timing, cos society’s crumbling has made shit like this more acceptable.
‘The Grims with me just commented that she was a fucking diva and continued their steaming.
‘No one batted an eyelid.
‘We were kinda hungry too, so we dragged her onto the fire.
‘She was actually the first person I ate. A little piece of Freelands history. And she finally did someone else some fucking good.
‘The only problem was that Papa Grim arrived at the camp soon after. He noticed that it was her from a tattoo she’d had. Or maybe it was from the clothes we’d cut off her, I’m not sure. He didn’t have his biker gang with him then so the lads with me escorted his ass out of there.
‘Obviously he wasn’t best pleased at me bludgeoning the love of his life to death and just merrily tucking in. But this is a different world now. Different rules. So there we be, Davey lad. There we be.’