This story is true, it took place in North Dakota in 2010. The names have been changed to protect the innocent, the rest has not.

Joss was so cool, like super cool, as she saddled up to the bar, leaning on it like a so super cool person as she did the finger guns to the bartender. Holding that for a while, he went over to Boris, who was much like an ape carved of stone who did nothing.

"I'd like beer," said Joss.

"And her," said Boris, pointing at Zoe who was behind the giant stuffed bear.

"My name is Anna Chapman," said Zoe.

"I have no need of that, what do you want?" said Boris.

"As you can see we are both 2000," said Joss.

"21," said Zoe, peaking out from behind the stuffed bear again.

"Yes, that," said Joss.

Well they were nowhere near that, Boris thought. He was no one's fool. He did not live through Leningrad by being stupid. He did it by killing cats, yet more to the point money is the barometer of a society's virtue, he thought, so he didn't really care.

"Budweiser," said Joss.

Boris looked over at Zoe.

"Anna Chapman," said Zoe.

"Two Budweisers," said Boris.

Joss and Zoe sat down at a table. There were a bunch of knife marks that must clearly have come from many games of Five Finger Fillet. This place was great. Joss just knew that in her universe this place would be wall-to-wall super villains, and any minute now a super big fight would break out.

"So we're here," said Zoe.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

There was a guy in a big leather jacket with a skull on the back, and he was about to run into a tiny guy who didn't see him. Okay, any second now she would have to intervene and put another person in the hospital, which was, you know, not great.

"So what did you tell your mom?" said Joss.

"Moive, You know I have never once gotten in trouble in my life," said Zoe as she took a sip of beer and then spit it out. "She does not get how very punk rock I am,".

"So Ray and Eugenie?" said Joss.

They both were struggling for stuff to say because this detective stuff was, like hard. This place was hard. If they were animals looking for a serial killer this place would be a slam dunk for them, but it would have been a nothing night for Fritz from the hay ride, who Zoe just noticed sitting and laughing with some friends.

"Fritz?" said Zoe.

Fritz turned around and loudly waved at Zoe, then came over. He was wearing blue jeans really high up. The rest of what he was wearing didn't really matter, but them blue jeans were up too high; it must have been uncomfortable. Also they were skinny ones, which clashed with the flannel of his shirt and his hair.

"Hey Zoe, long time no see," said Fritz.

"Funny seeing you here," said Zoe.

Zoe looked closer at the people with Fritz. They were his hay ride pals. They even had shirts with that on. She put her head on the table.

"Every one knows about this place, right?" said Zoe.

"Yea," said Fritz.

"Its because he does not card, right?" said Zoe.

"Yea," said Fritz, who sat down. Joss had not said anything. 2 plus 2 make four and she just put something together.

"Why did Raymond get out of the car," said Joss.

"Because there was an accident," said Zoe.

"Whose Raymond?" said Fritz. Neither were listing

"But why did he get out? He only had a shirt on, not a coat. Eugenie had on the lumberjack coat, and if I'm not mistaken, North Dakota is cold, yes?" said Joss.

"Yea" said Fritz.

"becuse"said Joss

"...Because, Raymond knew the shooter," said Zoe,

Joss fell out of her chair. Because she was still a superhero it did not hurt her. Still, if she were human the pure adrenaline of that would have made the fall not that bad. Joss quickly ran over to the bar were Boris was.

"Half this bar is underage. My friend's mom is a cop," she said.

Boris took out some scotch and poured it neat He swirled it around in his cheek, then swallowed it.

"Who was Raymond meeting?" said joss.

"He was not meeting anyone he recognized. someone like he was famous," said Boris.

"It's an official clue!" yelled Joss to Zoe, who high-fived Fritz. Joss was about to get out of there with victory in her heart, as this thing was going good.

"You know this never ends happy for your type," said Boris.

Joss stood stone cold frozen.

"What do you mean by that?" said Joss.

"Interpret that how you wish. There is just a very popular way this ends," said Boris.

"Well I'm not popular," said Joss.