How many roads must a man traverse to be a man ?

How many doors must he open ?

How many ancient evils must he slay ?

“Three.” I answered .”At least.Ancient Evils that is.”  Not that anyone cared to listen to me . 

The Bard continued on with his song . It was a somber tune . It was made interesting contrasting the marching drums and the pounding of hundreds of iron clad orcs all around us .The beasts shouted and grunted as they went .

For not all who wander are lost .

To hope and breathe a song his own .

As the sun may rise so a man is to be born …

I lay quite listening to the man . He was quite good . Considering he had no instruments but his voice and the cage we were in was constantly shaking violently.

The warband was around three hundred strong . It pushed on as it had for days past , marching with a speed rivalling men on horseback . I counted at least four different kind of bests . Of at least tens or so clans . 

Through dark s the night ,

Though deep the fog .

We all must die

and thus we are born !

“Ending on a high note . As is proper .Good man .” I nodded .

” Oh shut up you fucker ! If the bests could understand us I would beg for!! …you know what ? It doesn’t matter …”

Apparently not everyone could appreciate the moment as I did . I shook my head :

“ …It is to be expected that the wonder of it all is lost to you people . I would be surprised if it did not though . You are all going to die.” 

Soldier A glared at me for a moment before his head fell of once more . I could see him going through the emotions of rage and then horror , ending in defeated apathy . Someone spat at me . I had no eyes to see who amidst our merry band in the cage did so. The carriage we were on was quite large , packed with at least two dozen men . And I was a bit busy at the moment .

“ …The least you could do is use the realisation and enjoy yourself as is .” I wiped out the spit from my face . “ What s your name Bard ?”  

“…Logan sir .Are we truly …hopeless ? “

He had quite nice a voice - smooth and baritone , coloured by youth and terror . 

“ That’s on you to decide my good man . “ 

I had a strong sense of deja vu .

Which gave me all the assurances I needed . A smile came up on it s own as I cast one last glance to the fading sunset to look at Logan . “ On account of your song let me gift you with a piece of wisdom : “ the young man was investing all his attention on me and my words .

I smacked my lips in satisfaction as I returned my eyes on the horizon “ A Man pays no heed to mood or emotions .” We were fast approaching the forest now , half the warband already in it .”Be they his own or others’ .”Great cypress stood tall pointing up while wide leaf trees of all kind were flowering amidst them .

“A Man has eyes but for one thing .” The red sky , the shadows of the trees , the smell of trampled greenery  , the sound of drums - unrelenting - the beastly grunts , the high speed and energy all around -

“…and what may that be sir ?”

- along with the overhanging despair , the smells of shit and pee and blood and rot and the pained whimpering of the other prisoners - the mirth in my voice and smile , my eyes went up high - 

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“ Do you truly not know Logan ? “ 

A hawk circling . Or at least what one may see as a hawk . No cloud in the open sky !

Someone spat at me again . Again on my face , I wiped it without looking back .

” …Enlighten us fucker…”

It was perfect .

I breathed in . 

And I called as I spoke Her name : 

“ Beauty.”

I breathed out .

—————-

Magic is hard on the senses of the uninitiated.It messes up the perception of those stubbornly insisting of gazing out to the world as is . Not. The air itself grows heavy with emotion , colours may fade out and intensify all together in but fractions of a moment . Time itself goes funky . Synesthisia may occur , visuals sensed as sounds , smells as visuals , one s own body as something foreign and so on . Even orc shamans experienced in all kinds of psychotropic substances are inevitably overwhelmed by The Art , for what they know is but the shadow of the thing itself . 

“ How can one explain colour to the blind ?!?!“ the arrogant nobleman stood up . There should have been iron bars that prevented him from doing so .

“How one can show music to the deaf ?!?!”  He shouted as the storm raged all around them . Where there was nothing but calm open skies one moment prior . Or at least what felt as one , Logan heard a voice in his head commenting. 

”Hahahahahahahahahah!”  laughter rang out but while the sight of the man was the one laughing the trees were the ones voicing the feeling . 

The wizard is going bonkers and reality seems happy to accompany him for a dance . You think so ? Yea , I do think so .

Logan nodded agreeing with the voices . They were all a family and of one thought . Was it his though ? 

Or am I yours ? he hugged the thought . They watched the man jump up and down while holding his belly from silent laughter .

They were alone in the cage …that was .The war chariot now .The sunrise was making the armour of everyone around gleam with it s rays . 

Look . He looked . The warband had already devolved to a chaotic mess after the infighting that started during the night . He could see how it begun , the sentries already worn out from the unrelenting march spooked out by sightings of the dragon and then being attacked through the night by unseen predators chittering like insects . 

It all makes sense doesn’t it ? The voices asked and he nodded . Warm in their embrace . 

Exhaustion and the inherent nature of orc kind , set off a chain of aggression once they were treated as prey while in the presence of so many different groupings . Orcs lash out and use shows of aggression to solve any issues of hierarchy .And so they did.

But what of the cage ? And of the other men ? 

He frowned . An arrow pushed the air next to his head . 

Shush . He heard the voices admonish him . 

He felt a bit of shame colour his cheeks . 

He nodded .

He could see the other men fighting all around them to protect them . They fell one by one as they valiantly pushed the orcs back . Two dozen soldiers serving as their bodyguard holding off the orcs that had enough sanity left as to attack them instead of their kin . And the warband was surrounded by yet more men in gleaming armor , arrows flying from the sides of the formation that came from up ahead the orcish encampment.  

But how can there be a storm at the same time as radiant daylight ? And why , by the gods , does lighting strike the orcs and not the trees ? The trees are taller after all . And how did the orcs not spot the approaching humans ? Why would they ignore a group of them in the centre of their camp in the first place ?!? 

Logan argued with the voices . It was a lover’s quarrel. He was soothed and given love in all the ways that mattered , 

He returned in kind .

———————

The orcish warband was pushed hard by the pursuing force . Into the forest of Achtorn. And into the spear tips of the battalion laying in wait for them . Besieged throughout the night by illusions of all kind their formation was cut to two by a band of brave veterans . That had the great luck to eliminate almost all of the largest and most intelligent ones . Their innate nature manifested in the worst way possible for them as they begun fighting each other , dazed by the illusions .

The following battle took place as dawn broke through the trees , the best time possible for mankind and worst for orcs to fight at . Despite all the advantages the men had to trade their lives to eliminate the beasts . They were after all lacking any sort of cavalry or shock troops , composed only of light infantry and rangers . The brave veterans that cut the enemy forces apart were slain to a man . 

Still it was a great victory .They buried their dead and loaded their loot tired yet proud .And marched in peace and contentment back home ,

There was a great celebration to be had when they returned to civilisation.

They entered the town and the folk cheered at them . Young girls picked out flowers and gifted them to men of their choice as they paraded through the main road towards the castle . Where the Lord awaited for the man of the hour with his daughters smiling and blushing behind him .

A great feast was ready to welcome them . 

And as the smell of roast meat , the sound of laughter and merrymaking and toasting and the thirst of men both bodily and spiritual was satiated the man of the hour was offered the title and armaments of Knight and gold . To go along with the sweet attentions of all the female population of the town and the envy of all it s men .

That day would mark the founding of the band of The Spitters .

The name is treated as an inside joke within it s ranks and it never fails to bring a smile to the face of the great leader - though he is quick to remind them that the disgusting habit will only be tolerated as long as they spit the earth .