It was dark.

It wasn't a surprise that it was dark since I rarely turned on the lights when I'm alone at home.

My eyes are sensitive to light, so I often get headaches. I've gotten used to seeing in the dark because of that. But this… this was different.

"Ughh."

I grunted as I got up from the bed.

It's winter, sure, but the house has heating, so I'm sure there's no problem with staying warm.

I can tell the room itself was warm, but this warmth couldn't make the cold I was feeling go away.

I stumbled to the bathroom and turned on the lights. I went to the sink and splashed cold water on my face. It helped clear my mind a little.

My ears were ringing, and my head was pounding.

All I could see were dim, blurry shapes.

"I think I need a painkiller right now."

I let out a nervous chuckle as I stumbled out of the bathroom.

As I walked down the hallway, holding onto the walls to stay steady, I tripped on something and fell.

The pain of falling wasn't even close to the pain I was feeling, so I didn't flinch as I got up.

"Hah… Ha… Huuu…"

Finally, I made it to the kitchen.

It was the hardest ten meters of my life.

All of the medicine was on the table in front of me. There were at least twenty bottles, a collection from everyone living in the house.

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I understood how terrible an idea this was. I could only make out blurry shapes and colors, and there was no way I could read the labels. So I had to pick by the colors and their sizes.

I rubbed my eyes to see if that would help.

"Huh?"

I was surprised. My hands were wet. Was I crying?

I guess it wasn't so surprising; this was the worst pain I had ever felt.

I started to look for the painkillers.

I dropped a few boxes of pills because my hands were shaking so much.

"I think this is it."

I mumbled, my voice cracking. If only I had some water, I thought, it would sound a lot better.

I took two pills and went to the sink to wash them down. They dissolved on my tongue, leaving a disgusting, bitter taste. The tap water didn't taste much better, but with my hands shaking so badly, I had no choice but to drink it.

The pills might help with the headache, but I didn't think any painkiller would fix the chill.

I waited for a while, but nothing got better. In fact, it only got worse. My body started to feel numb.

It was like when your legs start to tingle because you've been sitting wrong. If you've ever stayed like that long enough, you would know the feeling. It starts to feel cold, and the tingling stops. But when you move to get rid of numbness, the pain hits.

Yeah, that feeling. All over my body.

I felt like my whole being was freezing. I shivered uncontrollably, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop.

I don't know how long it took me to get to my room.

I lay down and buried myself under the blankets. I looked out the window, and that's when my vision started to darken.

"I wish my parents were here."

I spoke to myself, and the words came out oddly because I was crying.

It was strange to realize, but I had always thought I wasn't that attached to them.

I couldn't take it anymore and vomited everything in my stomach onto the floor.

I felt disgusting for that. I should have vomited in the toilet.

But I didn't have the strength to get up and go all the way to the bathroom.

I could call my parents or emergency services, but I felt like that would be a burden.

It's the worst thing, to be a burden on someone else… I'd rather die.

Still… I would at least like to hear my parents' voices one last time. To see them, just once more. To apologize for probably ruining their vacation.

They invited me to go with them. I should have accepted.

"No."

I sobbed. This was supposed to be their time to enjoy, to not worry about anything. And I ruined it. Just like I always do.

It was getting hard to breathe now. I was dizzy. I tried to vomit again, but nothing came out. My stomach had already been emptied.

I think what I took wasn't a painkiller. But it probably doesn't matter anymore. I'll most likely die tonight.

It was scary, of course. Who wouldn't be scared in the face of death?

What I was really scared of wasn't the death itself, but the unknown after it.

I wasn't that religious. I believed in God, sure, but I couldn't be certain about what happens after death.

You know, since people only die once, no one can really know what happens after. I'm not talking about people who've been resuscitated, either.

It was getting colder, and my headache only got worse. To try to stop the pain, I tried banging my head on the wall, but I didn't even have the energy for that.

"It's so cold… Ugh!"

My teeth were chattering because I was shivering so much. I bit my tongue, and the metallic taste of blood filled my mouth.

The taste in my mouth was already bad, and this didn't help.

I grabbed the water bottle beside my bed. I opened it and tried to drink, but most of it spilled on me. I was finally able to get a sip.

I'm not sure if it was the state I was in, but the water tasted bitter too.

And as I thought about these useless things, it got dark. The bottle fell from my hands. Ah, I couldn't close it. It was going to soak the carpet.

It was such a cold, lonely night...