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Chapter 19

It had been a whole three hours since the troop stumbled into Solaris’ study with a bag of treats. Despite his logic telling him to admonish the trio for falling to such lows, he was still somewhat warmed by their actions and couldn’t turn them away. Still, he couldn’t bring himself to fully eat it. He had maybe one or two berries before returning to his work with a horrible feeling in his stomach that strained his focus for the rest of the day until Sala edged into his room with caution.

That didn’t make him feel any better about their altercation early. He looked up at her, not saying a word, but his demeanor spoke volumes. His eyebrows relaxed, and his eyes gazed at her with no sharpness or hatred, just a simple, colourless guilt. She sighed and came fully into the room, looking at Solaris as he put away his paperwork. He was rubbing his head and didn’t stop for the entire duration of their conversation, which only put Sala on edge. She’d have to call a physician from the Kingdom of Earth, though she knew Solaris was as stubborn as he was fickle.

“It’s nearly time for the party, and you’re not dressed,” she said, straightening herself when she realized she might’ve added more stress to his already great heap of stress. Solaris frowned, burying his face in his hands as he let out a dramatic sigh. Sala fiddled uncomfortably at the display before she attempted:

“Your outfit has already been set out; you can take your time.”

“Where’s Noctifer and Leah?”

“Currently bathing and getting dressed, Noctifer had taken ash and used it on her hair, and we didn’t want to...” She trailed off uncertainly, trying to find the right words for those right on her tongue.

“To put off the gods of heaven,” Solaris said, stating in clear and simple terms what Sala’s democratic nature danced around. She sighed, realizing that his fatigue had made him blunt. No one said it, but there was apprehension that this night would be like the previous night, and Noctifer would fall back to the earth in what was described as a ‘tantrum’. Solaris slumped, looking at Sala for advice, but the goddess simply watched him without input. Rather, she walked forward and took Solaris’ hand in hers.

“Deep breaths, and try not to do anything stupid tonight,” she said quietly, tracing the lines on Solaris’ palm with intrigue, as though reading them. Solaris could do little but sigh in response, knowing that he was now the topic of intrigue when it came to parties and courts across the Aethyrs and Heavens. It annoyed him to no end, and he had only found some reprieve in his studies, though the diagrams had been reduced to some unintelligible hogwash.

“I think maybe you need a break, don’t you?”

“I’ve been on a break long enough, Sala,” he started. “Heaven is still as shaky as it was when Noctifer left.”

“Esoterically, yes, but the presence of a powerful deity has stabilized the political situation a bit more.”

“Sala, what do you know about ‘shades’?”

“The dead?”

“I read a book this morning, where it was described that every person had a sort of antithesis to their nature, a ‘shade’.”

“Alchemy?”

“Yes.”

“Then it’s a reference to some internal aspect. I don’t know much but it appears in how we are made. Ava is my 'shade’ and I am hers. Conversely, she and I both embody aspects of Creation, but in different and sometimes oppositional ways. Then, there’s the personal 'Shade', just as I have my waking ability to create and nurture, I have an indirect ability to destroy through that. Just as Ava can destroy, she possesses an intuitive quality of creation.”

“And myself?”

“If you are Solaris the Orderly, then you are also Solaris Maenolos, the ‘Frenzied’ and ‘Maddened’ Solaris.”

“Can I actually contact this shade?”

“We’re never truly out of contact with it, it’s just the degree of interaction that varies. Still, I don’t recommend it, for now, you’re too raw in your thoughts and dealings.”

“Does it make someone mad?”

“Quite the contrary, it makes the mad sane and the sane insane, and it makes the sane more sane of their reality and the mad more detached from some perceived sanity. All of it is very arcane and no two points are ever the same when it comes to it, it’s like a snake that is constantly shedding its skin.”

“My headache’s only getting worse,” Solaris huffed, running his fingers through the red hair that had become frizzy over time.

“Exactly, it doesn’t bode well if you’re not well. It’s like adding fire to an already dry forest.”

“I’ll go speak to Noctifer, please,” he said too quickly, rising from his desk. Sala’s eyes widened as she watched him practically run from the study into the halls of the building, leaving her and the pile of notes. Gods were known amongst humans for their theoretical omniscience, and Sala was no different. She could see the course of creation, all except what Solaris had written in his pile of notes. Not sparing a minute, she grabbed the pile and began to read through them, her expression only darkening as she proceeded.

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For Solaris, he had found himself getting closer to Noctifer’s room and the sensation of dread and nausea only grew over him. It felt like it was piercing into his stomach, and rending his flesh. He swayed a bit, holding onto the wall, and was glad enough that it was not in sight of the guards. Despite Noctifer’s return and the assurance of Sala, something ate at him. It was a constant reminder, a faux vision, of what may come if his weakness was seen and his fickle nature discovered. These thoughts hurt him to no end. Each one came after the other in a quick succession and it took away his breath and rationality just as quickly as it had come.

Still, upon regaining his balance, he left into the hall and nodded to the guards. Each one bowed in turn and Solaris was then present at the door to the room he had so graciously locked Noctifer in. Raising his hand, he stopped and had to think. This was his abode, his realm. He felt as though the guards were watching him, eyeing the gesture of courtesy as a sign of weakness.

‘They’ll think that Noctifer holds a higher rank,’ he thought to himself, biting on the inside of his cheek as he pushed open the door to look around. Noctifer wasn’t there, and only Leah remained. She was lying on the bed, curled up with her hair still wet and spread over a towel. Still, the absence of Noctifer struck Solaris who immediately looked around. He spun on his foot to alert the guards until he heard someone walking into the room behind him. He turned around, seeing Noctifer step out from the bathes with a towel loosely wrapped around his shoulders, but doing little else to hide his legs or the curve of his neck. Even the small baby hairs and promise of a beard stuck out in the light of the setting sun.

‘Stop it, this isn’t the first time you’ve seen him like this,' Solaris swore to himself, trying to bring his eyes up to meet Noctifer’s but he couldn’t. Despite his attempts to remind himself of their earlier trips as youths to the bathes, there was something about the matured deity that entranced Solaris. He found himself growing unseasonably hot, and trying to maintain some composure until Noctifer snapped his fingers in front of the deity’s face.

Angrily, Solaris smacked the hand away.

“You will never do that to me again.”

“The snapping?”

“Yes, the snapping,” lied Solaris, knowing full well that the snapping was just one part of the heap of stress and anxiety that Noctifer had thrown upon him. Noctifer, himself, was also aware of Solaris’ lie but chose not to say anything. Even as Solaris left the room, the image of Noctifer’s legs, and shoulders burned in his thoughts, Noctifer said nothing.

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When Sala found Solaris, he was pacing back and forth in his bedroom. The robes she had put out from him, light for the evening heat, had begun to fall off his shoulders as he fiddled endlessly with his hands. The deity did not turn to acknowledge her, instead focusing on the thoughts that assailed him at every end. It took Sala fully grabbing his shoulders to bring him back to reality, and even then Solaris was unable to look her in the eyes, choosing to look at a corner of the room where he found comfort.

“What’s going on, Adonis?” Sala said quietly, rubbing Solaris’ shoulder as she straightened his robes. Solaris didn’t answer, his brown knitting together as he tried to think of something that bothered him. He came up blank on all ends.

“Is it the gods?” Sala asked quietly, pinning the fabric of Solaris’ robe together to finish the outfit. He nodded, still not looking her in the eye but now looking down at the fancy medal that stuck to the pin. It was one of a snake coiling in on itself, in a delicate spiral with gold and eye embedded with two small rubies.

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“I don’t know, Sala, something feels off. I can’t shake the idea that something is working just outside of sight.”

“It’s okay to feel anxious, Solaris, you must just try and keep your head up when someone’s looking at you.”

“I’m trying,” he muttered distantly. Sala’s eyes softened and she pressed a small kiss to the part in Solaris’ hair, looking down at him with a fond, aged smile. There was something inherently beautiful about the goddess, and Solaris would be lying if he said that he hadn’t had thoughts of her romantically. The way her eyes glimmered and the gentle folding of the crow’s feet made her a mixture of maternal beauty and aged elegance. He had noticed, at some point, that Noctifer had similar crow’s feet, despite theirs being the same age, if not for a few seconds. There was something undeniably alluring about the maturity, which only caused more conflict for Solaris as he thought over that afternoon.

He had settled himself on drinking that evening, and avoiding as much conversation as possible, if possible. Sala must’ve picked up on this because she grabbed the young deity’s chin in her hands and said solemnly:

“No stupid things, understand?”

“Yes,” was all he said. With that, barely convinced, Sala left the room and wandered down to the hall to make final preparations and welcome the gods. She had old books dug up from the crevices of the library in an attempt to find some fire ritual with which she could officially welcome Noctifer. Unfortunately, all written knowledge had begun scrapped pieces and allusions which only frustrated her. So, in what she had gathered in her myriad centuries, she had lined the fire pit with flowers, wine, and ash before marking Noctifer’s sign in the center. Whatever would happen then would just be an adaption of pre-existing rites, and she hoped it would make due. All that mattered now was ensuring that the Court of Heaven knew that there wasn’t an imbalance of power.

‘All that matters,’ she thought to herself.

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Solaris was eventually called to the hall where he would welcome the first arriving gods. Zaeal was amongst them, and Ava immediately took to Sala’s side like a puppy. The shapeshifting deity had abandoned their prior form, taking on that of an elegant yet masculine woman garbed in a coat and other vestments assuming of a businessman. Whatever they said gave Sala cause to laugh, and it echoed like the chiming of bells throughout the room. Merriment began the festivities, and her chipper laughs carried the spirit through the other gods.

Noctifer walked into the room, and Solaris wished to run away. He wore an outfit similar to that night but with some smaller alterations. The fabric was loosely pinned under his armpit to reveal that same curve that had enraptured Solaris. He was bedecked with silver necklaces, anklets, and bangles. Rather than the ash and dirt that was his trademark, he had chosen to mark his limbs with patterns using the same grey substance. In short, he looked like a god, and it seemed that Solaris was not the only one who thought so. The bickering and gossip stopped when he had entered, and all eyes turned to him. They turned to him, and to the young girl who held onto the folds of his robe from behind. He smiled, reaching his hand backward defensively to shield her from the eyes, and their sinister thoughts and maledictions. It warmed Solaris, and a small shock of envy for Leah shot through him before it was replaced with another, more primal sensation. He took to Noctifer’s side, looking out at the gods as Leah took shelter behind both of them. He did so, despite his heart breaking out of his chest and the excessive amount of sweat on his hands.

Sala raised her eyebrow knowingly, accepting a glass of wine from Ava who watched with equal interest.

“Putrefactio has an interesting way, doesn’t it Sala?”

“It seems so,” Sala responded, taking a sip of the drink before spitting it back into the cup.

“You halfwit, you turned it into vinegar,” she hissed, hitting Ava’s shoulder. The deity chuckled loudly as they dodged Sala who glared with a vengeance. When the gods had settled back into their routine, Solaris had reached his limit. He took to his table, drinking deeply of the wine and hoping that it would inebriate him somewhat.

‘Better a drunken fool than a fearful scholar,’ he spat internally, taking another sip. Noctifer was bouncing Leah on his hip, speaking with Sala and Ava, whom he had not seen since the temple. Sala was having a grand time as she stole berries from the plates and fed them to Leah. Ava, seeing this, smiled in turn and gently took from their hair the spirit of a bird.

Sala looked at it and frowned, recognizing it as her messenger. She accepted the gift, only somewhat comforted by the fact that Ava had not just thrown it into oblivion. The bird, now in the hands of its master, looked up at Leah and pecked at her hands. The girl laughed merrily at the cold feeling and Ava stared at Sala’s smile and laugh as she watched the girl play with the bird.

This distance, a divorce from joviality, only made Solaris more inclined to drink and he had taken his share of two pitchers until he was suitably drunk enough to think without thought. His emotions came out in a blur, and he could hear the distinct whistle of what would be ‘Nihilo’ in the back of his mind. Dismayed, he got up from his chair and left towards the sanctum of his abode where he felt some peace could be found amongst the lanterns and flowers. It had been too long since he had done some formal oblation, and his drunken state thought that tonight would be the best night.

So he swayed through the halls, clawing at the clothing as it scraped at his skin in all the wrong ways, enough to make his head feel as though it was a prison cell. When he eventually came to the sanctum, looking at the flower given him by Noctifer, he smiled and knelt on the floor. He watched it distantly, as it slowly unfolded under the moonlight with its broken petals and stamen.

Noctifer had followed him, seeing the change in his demeanor in the hall. He had given Leah to Sala who graciously took her and was currently walking in the garden with Ava who took the form of various animals to entertain the girl. He rushed down the halls to the sanctum where he found the god kneeling just in front of the entrance, not even in the middle of the room itself.

Solaris’ futile attempts at clawing off the tight second skin had broken the pin and now the fabric draped down his back, revealing the skin that clung to his neck and spine.

‘You didn’t eat,’ realized Noctifer as he stepped forward into the room. Solaris turned around lazily, staring at Noctrifer with a half-smile. His eyes were glazed over as he looked back out over the mandala and the flower. Noctifer didn’t know what to do, and he felt that his words might earn him another banishment so he only chose to sit next to Solaris.

Solaris took well enough to it, much to Noctifer’s relief. In fact, Solaris leaned against the god, and the strong smell of alcohol pierced Noctifer’s senses. He grimaced a bit, but quickly adjusted to it until it was an afterthought.

“You know, I missed you,” Solaris slurred, tilting his head up to look at Noctifer who stood still, and tensed.

“I missed you too,” he responded stiffly, not knowing what to do. Solaris chuckled to himself, reaching out to touch the god’s jawline, the small stubble that had begun to grow, and the fullness of his lip. Noctifer only stiffened, but a heat grew in him. It only grew as Solaris examined his face, his jaw, and the tense muscle of his neck. It continued to grow until it had overwhelmed him, and Noctifer grabbed Solaris’ hand and yanked the god to him. He grabbed the back of Solaris’ head and pressed a kiss to the deity, hoping in the back of his mind that Solaris would reciprocate.

He did. Solaris intertwined his fingers in Noctifer’s black there, throwing off the jewel hairpin and pulling the god closer to him. Noctifer growled as he pulled Solaris onto his lap, his hands gripping the god’s thigh with a reckless desire. He pushed his hand under Solaris’ robe, feeling the warm skin of the god tense and relax under his fingers. His other hand reached up, gripping the deity’s hair with desire.

The tug sent a shiver down Solaris’ spine, and a small moan left his lips. He pushed Noctifer back, straddling the god’s hips and pressing sloppy kisses against his neck and jaw. Noctifer grabbed his hips, pressing his arousal against Solaris who reciprocated with another smaller moan. Noctifer smelled everything, the alcohol mixed with the scent of sandalwood with which Solaris anointed his hair. He smelled the softer floral scents that he perfumed himself with and the muskier scent of his sweat. His desire only grew, as he lifted more of Solaris’ robe to reveal the god’s legs and their throbbing member.

Noctifer sat up, straightening Solaris on his lap as he kissed the god’s neck, his hand wandering on the inside of Solaris’ thigh before moving down his ass and against his entrance. The god whimpered, pressing his head against Noctifer’s chest as his fingers curled around the fabrics of Noctifer’s robe.

Hungrily, ravenously really, Noctifer pushed Solaris onto his back and positioned himself between the deity’s legs. He took Solaris’ erection in his hands and began to lick it, running his tongue along the shaft to the god’s pleasure. He arched his back, slamming his hand against the floor with need. Noctifer smiled, taking the god’s length into his mouth with ease. The size of it wasn’t too much, yet it was enough that Noctifer could just feel it in the back of his mouth. He bobbed his head, running his tongue along the length as his fingers prodded Solaris’ entrance. The god, flustered and drunken, became undone. He reached out, without a care, and grabbed Noctifer’s hair, half-guiding the god into a faster pace.

Humming, the vibrations forcing Solaris into another fitful spasm, Noctifer pushed a finger into Solaris’ entrance, feeling the god resist. Solaris tried to push it out, his entirety spasming but he soon realized where he was and tried to relax as much as possible. The alien intrusion moved, and his body only grew hotter and heavier as he begged incoherently. Noctifer continued to move his finger, curling the tip until it rubbed against a small growth that sent Solaris into hysterics. The god buckled his hips against Noctifer’s hand, his grip on the deity’s hair becoming inconceivably harsh and tight that even Noctifer had to stop.

He patted the deity’s thigh, drawing Solaris back to some half-present where the god looked down with hazy eyes. Slowly, Noctifer began to move his finger, slowly this time, as he bobbed his head on the deity’s cock. Solaris, only somewhat more alert, bit down on his hand to muffle any more cries. His breathing grew ragged and hot as he found himself nearing release. His hand spasmed, gripping Noctifer’s hair in intervals which let Noctifer know the god’s current condition.

As he moved his finger, the middle, in the deity, he reached up and pressed against the perineum with his thumb, massaging the space there to the delight of his lover. He felt Solaris’ cock twitch in his mouth and withdrew, hearing a whine from the half-present deity. He knelt between the god’s legs, moving his free hand on the shaft, flicking the sensitive and engorged head with his thumb now and again. Spasming, Solaris continued biting down on his hand until his moans and cries became frantic and his body arched and relaxed.

With a smile, Noctifer withdrew his fingers, climbing over the god with his hand still working. He pressed a kiss against Solaris’ hand, his eyes dark with a raging desire.

“Take it away. I want to hear you, all of you.”

Solaris complied, moving away his bleeding hand and reaching up to take the god’s head. He pulled Noctifer down for a kiss, moaning against his lips and raising his hips to meet Noctifer’s agile movements until it became too much. He shivered, his fingers pulling on Noctifer’s hair as he let out a cry. He pressed his hips forward with one final moan, arching his back, and felt the final pumps of his body leave him. He fell back, and Noctifer smiled at the dazed god. He looked down at his hand, on which cum had spllled, both on him and Solaris, and smiled.

He pressed a kiss to the panting, sweet-sheened deity’s forehead and stood up, gathering Solaris in his arms like a bride. He haphazardly wiped his hand on Solaris’ robe, knowing that it would probably be taken care of, and carried him to his room, in a drunken, fitful bliss.