No, seriously.

Look, I understand liking food, but that deer is beyond just bloated. It’s basically melting from the inside out. And this thing… It’s a badger, apparently, although it doesn’t look like it. Well, okay, it does look like a badger, just not any American ones, which is pretty self-explanatory, I guess. It’s got two big, black stripes running down its face. Oh, not counting the way the entire lower half of said face is covered in black, corroded goop.

It looks like the badgers you’d see in fairy tale books as a kid. Apart from the maggots in its beard.

As I’m staring at it, unsure whether to attack or let it attack first (and subsequently dodge), it blinks slowly. Then, it turns away, its eyes moving slowly across the dark, wide and trembling. Its nose is twitching up and down, so I’m going to go ahead and make a guess. I think that, much like how these creatures are portrayed in stories, this old boy is just a little blind. Maybe.

I’m standing right in front of him, less than a metre away, and he isn’t attacking me, which he should be doing, because his current status is bloodfrenzy. As someone who has experienced bloodfrenzy maybe a few times too many by now, this old boy is probably in the mood to kill pretty much anything and everything around him. He’s a fair bit bigger than me, maybe a third or so, but I think I could take him. We’re the same rank, after all.

Besides, he’s totally sick while I’m only a bit sick.

…Now that I think about it, his internal workings have to be completely fucked by now. I mean, bloodfrenzy and sickness? That at least explains why he’s actively eating the liquified remains of a deer.

I almost pity him a little, but he attacked my burrow, so…

…Hm?

Wait a minute. Don’t badgers live in holes? I… I actually don’t know, but looking at his elongated claws, I certainly think it might be plausible. Besides, didn’t all those “Uncle Badgers” live in burrow homes? Like hobbit holes? I don’t know. But, I mean…

Look, killing this guy would be easy. I’m not saying that I won’t rip out his throat eventually, but if I had to choose between this amateur hole filled with stinking deer and the burrow of an old little badger, the choice is only obvious. The only question is how I get this guy sobered up.

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I stare at the bloated, blackened badger for a few seconds. Actually, on second thought, I’m pretty sure he’s getting there on his own. He’s starting to look awfully, eh, regretful? I don’t know. He’s got a clear-eyed gaze in there.

It takes a few deep breaths, grabs a final bite of corroded meat, and then it turns back towards me and starts waddling in my direction. Even after I visibly jump out of the way, it doesn’t react in the least. Blind fucker.

Like a fat man leaving McDonald's, it toddles out of my hole, and I, not wanting to be left alone with a dead fucking deer, follow.

The sun almost blinds me once we step out, but the badger doesn’t seem to have the same problem. Since the majority of the sun is filtered out by the pinetops high above it isn’t all that bad, but it still makes me squint for a moment. When was the last time I was actually out in the sun? The sun feels warm against my fur, but the wind is cold. I think it’s early autumn but it’s hard to tell.

For a few seconds, I just sit in one of the many flittering sun streams, almost hypnotised. From the corner of my eye, I see the badger move away slowly. Oh, yeah, I was in the middle of something.

I follow it at a bit of a distance. Since its vision is shit and we’re moving upwind, it can neither see nor smell me. Personally, I have to sniff its ass while we walk. It’s not even trying to hide itself, just all out in the open. If a hawk or whatever other bird of prey Sweden has were to see it, it’d be easy prey. Unless it tried to fight back, I guess.

Badger(E)

Stage: Elder Health: 49/56

State: Sick, Bloodfrenzy

Oh, yeah, it’s sick. Stats halved. And, apparently, its health is declining. Makes sense.

After about twenty metres of walking, it takes a break to go puke behind a tree. All that emerges is black goop and yellow bile. Jesus. Somehow, it smells even worse than it looks. How in the world was this guy able to down that much without realising something was up? Weirdo.

…What, I’m no different? Hey, I at least knew what I was getting into when I ate corroded meat!

This guy is just a dumb animal, but without my rationale, he should honestly have been able to act on enough instinct to avoid all of this. Wishful thinking, apparently. I can’t wait to slit his throat. Or maybe I should level up my choke? If I don’t kill it straight away, I can probably level up my claws or teeth…

Right as I’m about to fully sink into mulling, the badger gives a horrid screech (is that what they sound like?) and I jerk in surprise, raising my head just in time to watch it throw itself at a deer I only just now notice. The deer seems startled, hardly interested in fighting, but the badger is rearing itself up, making its hair big, screaming animalistically and approaching with all the intent to kill, or, more likely, be killed.

H-, hey! Fucking idiot, what are you even-,

I’m only barely able to reach forward in an attempt to stop this madness as the deer stands up on its hind legs. The badger, apparently a bit less clever than me, just hops closer, bearing its blackened teeth. Predictably, the deer plunges its front hooves down onto it, emitting a loud crunch that makes me stop in my tracks.

…That fucker took my prey!

The badger is still moving a bit, but the deer obviously couldn’t have that as it began stomping on the body, each full-body clomp causing a crunch as the badger was flattened more and more. Eventually, its midsection ruptured, letting its life climax in a splurt of red and black. It doesn’t look exactly disgusting, but the idea that it got killed for no reason by a deer who won’t even have a bite of it feels weird.

More importantly, that fucking deer stole my prey!

And it is going to pay.