Somewhere on the cursed isle of Japan lies a mansion. This mansion houses an average man in his 20s named Hiro who is currently experiencing a mould-induced revelation. Having betrayed and eaten the last rat living in the entire mansion he was now forced to admit to himself that there is not a single thing he could call food in his home. Faced with this cruel reality he did not break into a sob but merely allowed a lone tear to slide down his cheek as he gently stroked his computer, whispering "I'll be back" in a forlorn tone for he sensed that it was a lie and he will never return to his beloved cartoons.

His visit to the outside world was akin to a vampire making out with the pope on a sunny day. As soon as he stepped outside he was surprised to see a white van honking in front of the gates. On closer inspection the words "Free Ice Cream" were painted in a vivid and splattery red. Intrigued by the prospect of free cream Hiro ran as fast as he could to the gates, fumbling with his keys as he unlocked and slid open the gates.

This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

"Oy, want some ice cream?" said the rather large and imposing man sitting behind the driving wheel.

"Do I? Well, yes. I would like some ice cream, kind sir."

" Hop in the back then." said the driver with a beautiful smile, not spoiled in the slightest by the criss-crossing scars stretching across his entire face.

Filled with a primal glee, our Hiro wasted no time. He went behind the van, opened the doors and jumped inside. There was no ice cream. There was nothing there.

He attempted to say as such but before he could mouth the first words a hand covered his mouth. As his mind struggled to comprehend his situation he realized he was not alone. If there was an iota of resistence in him before, now it was gone. Elves, elves all around him, staring at him with their blazing , judging eyes of contempt. Sparkling and glittering they stunned him like a sledgehammer to the nuts. And then there were hands, cold hands, more hands, hands all over him as they systematically searched every part of him.

Incomprehensible singing accompanied it and it was this singing that finally put him to sleep, the last thing seen through closing eyes a disappointed elf rummaging through his wallet.