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CHAPTER NINETEEN : CONFESSION

Slim was the chance the surveillance system didn’t capture my face for I was careless not expecting Milford Macias's little surprise.

How I wished to avoid this…

The sun blinded my eyes, I moved closer before I could see the one behind the driver's seat. In my unfulfilled guess, I froze motionless peeking inside. My right hand sustained the weight of my body as I stretched it gripping the car roof.

“Get in.”

The familiar voice gave what seemed to me an order, causing my muscles to tense in contempt. My eyes pointed invisible arrows of a calm rage, ready to launch. But I stood in a position from where there was nothing to win if I was the one to start a quarrel.

That was why I waited in that rundown restaurant for things outside to calm down, for the crowd to disperse, for Emery men to get bored, tired, and lose vigilance.

With similar shared thoughts, Travis didn’t repeat his… Order. The door lock clicked open and his head shifted forward to the long road. No room for negotiation.

Seeing him now, somehow, he looked different. I barely recognized him, even began wondering if he was the same person I had known. There hovered a shade of formality and coldness on his face I never experienced before.

As I dragged my feet to the car door, a battle of choices broke out under my skin, firing my nerves. How am I supposed to treat him? Like the dull friend, he was to me, the unqualified love rival or the betrayer of an uncompleted trust?

The moment I pulled the door open, another question popped into my head. Am I really going to sit next to him? In the place he chose?

Despite my unfavorable position, it won’t hurt showing him a hint of my rebellious self. I can still show an opinion, even symbolically, to satisfy my arrogance.

Drawing in an ecstasy of trivial win, I moved to open the rear door. And I wished I didn’t.

The outside blooming sunlight denied me a clear view, however, in no chance, I could mistake that voice for another.

“See!... He chose the backseat… I won.”

From the inside, Emery Cromwell's voice brushed near my ears. His comment wasn’t addressed to me, nor did he tick like his usual self. He sounded different than I remembered him. In… In a strange way.

The door clanged closed, I shoved my body into the seat next to him. For my pride, there were no options to back down now, even if I wished to.

Upon settling, a stench paused at the entrance of my nostrils. And from the front seat reached me a late warning, “I will tell you now, he is very different from his normal self when he is wasted.” I could care less if I was talking to Travis or any other person with an uneven personal score. My lips just moved, articulating a question. An important one.

“In what way? Did he get violent?”

The rearview mirror glassed Travis's upper visage. Our eyes mingled in a silent conversation full of threat and dread, yet the connection dwindled then ceased. The car wobbled causing a sudden loss of balance. I felt a bump under my feet and my body oscillated forward and backward. As if that wasn’t enough, a person's weight fell on my side, making the alcohol stench in my nostrils stronger accompanied by an acidic trail.

I shouted, ”are you going to throw up?” Pushing his head further from my body.

In those few seconds, I strengthened my mind for any possible outcome. However, this time, my good luck woke up from its undefined slumber coercing Emery to nod, “No”. I breathed relief while adjusting him to a safer position.

While I fixed him in his place, he mumbled between his lips unrecognizable words. I turned to Travis demanding if he had any water…

Like magic, the handful mouthful he sipped sobered him in an instant. He even started chatting, projecting sidelong glances, sliced into sleepiness and slyness.

“ Ah, it’s Kieran…” He breathed out as if he just noticed my presence. The tip of his fingers massaged his temple then added, slowly separating his lips, “how is your girlfriend?” After, he applied light pressure to his eyes scrubbing the touch of pain under his eyebrows.

The last drop of my luck seemed consumed by the striking headache befalling Mr. Cromwell. It kept him from pursuing an answer. Hence, I zipped my lips and retreated awkwardly.

“I told you… It’s been more than a month since they have broken up.”

I cringed a smile at the rearview mirror. Then blurted, "how is Anna?” To divert the conversation theme. Through the same reflective surface, I won his focus over the road. His indifferent stares slipped like water from a fist. Soon, his gaze joined the road up ahead. But, after a surprise.

“As unstable as you remember her.”

The neutrality put into his tone had me aghast, the clarity of his answer startled me. Nothing felt personal in his voice. Just the ruthless professionalism. It urged me to reason again my thoughts of him trying to provoke me. I stipulated wrong.

“Nah, he is just tricking you into thinking that they had broken up.” Emery joined the conversation. I sensed his half-closed eyes picking at my profile escorted by an incomprehensive smile. " Right?"

"Well…" He pushed his body behind the driver’s seat, whispering behind Travis’s ears, "well, let's make it a bet."

Something in my head warned me to not go against him or to indulge in this subject at all. I pursed my lips tight avoiding the constant invisible nagging and apparent anticipation from both sides.

Despite my reluctant silence, the nagging continued. Rather, it turned visible, physical. Emery's hand held my shoulder, his head leaned closer, whispering in the same manner, "did or didn't you break up with Marchetti’s daughter?"

I sought solace from the eyes reflected in the mirror. But Travis held a nonchalant look, implying that the consequences were mine to bear for opening the incorrect door.

I sighed, "she dumped me."

"No way." The sleepy, unconscious look on his face sharpened. He retreated backward and finally sat like a normal person. "No way… You are a ladies killer." He really appeared in a dilemma. Unable to believe that Hanna Marchetti dumped me. But from where did he get the part that I am a ladies killer?

As if he read my mind, he approached the driver’s seat again, blowing into Travis’s ears, yet loud enough for me to hear. "Did you know, Even Annabel had her eyes on him?"

"There is also a cute girl chasing after him,” Travis indulged the chat, “Her name?... Her name… Ah Cali Harisson, you know her, second daughter of Harrison, the lawyer at the same firm. But no, he favors the unstable, psychopathic one while he mercilessly uses the latter feelings for his own benefit."

I hardly finished digesting the meaning of those words when the sudden deceleration in the car speed ended in my head hitting the back of the front seat next to the driver.

This time, Travis overdid it. "Annabel?" He echoed, frightened, his mind fully processing the information, just now.

"Yes, Annabel, as in like your little sister." A diabolic smirk transpired against Emery's drunken mien spraying fuel over the ignited fire.

Yes, no way this was a mere bet about me being dumped. I will pray that his revenge against Evelyn leaving him will end here.

"What?" The Travis I knew made a comeback.

"He was the one who first gave her signals. I thought since he already has a girlfriend, he was doing it on purpose to get back to you. You know, the tracked phone, the whole stalking, and sniffing game."

Mmm, sniffing? Was he aware?

The car stopped and the driver’s upper body whirled towards me, shouting and swearing, "what… You… You maniac, if you get near her I will…"

"Don't worry, I warned her as in, he already has a girlfriend." Emery interrupted, pouring some water on the fire he stirred. it made me wonder, did he want us to fight or not fight? But let it be, the milk is already burned. Though, was it why Annabel tried to distance herself from me?

“What will you do? Sneak into my room in the dorm and turn it upside down?” My inquiry directed to Travis, he seemed the safest root to demonstrate some of my resistance.

The silence stormed inside the car, freezing the passage of time. Since the two of them didn’t volunteer to melt it, I continued, “I wondered for a million times why did you sneak into my room. What will you get? But yesterday I obtained the last piece of this puzzle.” When I was talking, I felt as if somebody else took control over my words, after twisting and tweaking them he spilled them using my mouth.

“How did you find out?” Emery was the first one to participate. Whether it was the influence of alcohol or something else, once I graced him my attention, his expression fluctuated between curiosity and praise.

“The print of his Shoes, all over my floor.” I closed my eyes reminiscing about the devastating state of my room after I came back alive from the Trills grip. “At first I thought maybe it was an act of retribution, but now I think it was a show of scorn.” I turned my head, confronting Travis a second time, “you should have changed them before you came to the cafeteria the next day. You made it so easy for me to identify you.”

"Yeah, but don't worry, I mean you already know that we didn’t find anything of significant importance. And you didn’t lose anything."

Emery wanted to pull the whole talking in his direction. Bearing all the blame. He gestured to Travis to turn away. A signal gnawed at my brain. I mulled the earlier question again, does this man fancy or doesn’t fancy a fight? The contradiction in his words and cues bewildered me. What was he wishing for?

Oh… During the days I spent testing him, did he find himself obligated to refund the favor?

“And I compensated you handsomely.”

Was he talking about the free hotel suit, the high-paid job? So they were a compensation? Yet they supported many of the reasons why I didn’t trust him. No one will hand gifts for nothing. A principle mended into my subconscious, the painful way.

“Compensation? Don’t make me laugh. Because when you failed, you used my sister to reach me. It wasn’t cool at all.”

Emery’s eyes shifted up front, exchanging glances with Travis through the rearview mirror. His lips pursed reluctance for he didn’t uncover the right speech to counter me or I believed.

Honestly, this wasn’t like him. I acknowledged his wit. Perhaps the alcohol diluted his thinking yet allowed a cluster of expressions to emerge I never witnessed on his face before.

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The few minutes of contemplation finally cut, “you think Evelyn can be used?”

I could smell the stench of bitterness oozing under his breath. He didn’t look at me when he said that nor at Travis. His lost gaze sunk into the void of another world known only to him. After all, who will recognize the kind of regrets and flaws in someone else but himself?

“I don’t know…” I discerned this question was not the kind that required an answer. A question for the sake of a question… Because….,

“We are mere humans, everything is possible.” I swallowed back what I didn’t know how to articulate. I didn’t deserve to paraphrase this sort of matter. However, due to the gentleman complex I suffered from. I ached to be the hero I was not, and will never be, still I comforted him.

“I think she wanted to give you a second chance with my father after you had screwed up the Olvera dinner party.” Oh boy, and that seemed very out of place, so I had to be mean too for things to be normal again.

“Did she know that you have sent your man to search my room and stalk me?”

“The Trills’ legal dealings all go through the Klangor firm, they must have a lot of dirt on them. Despite your origin, you succeeded in infiltrating it. I wanted the information you have gathered about them to compensate General McCarthy and polish my image in front of him again.”

Although he skipped my inquiry on purpose, this long declaration felt like the most honest thing he ever said during our interaction. Well, in my experience, Emery Cromwell hardly could be classified as a liar. When he told me he didn’t trace my phone he wasn’t lying. The one who did is now accomplishing the duty of being our driver. Yet what are those dreadful sensations akin to being hunted down by a beast?

I cracked a joke to lighten the air, “You thought I am going to hide such hard-earned dirt in my room, at the university dorm?”

“Then, where?”

The smile barely touched my lips to fade away. The sacrifices and risks I sweated there to collect it, he deemed oblivious to them.

“I am joking…”

Certain he wasn’t. The tone hammered at the speed of thunderlight. The desperation glittered, was my father threatening him or promising him a prize? The carrot and the tick stakes, my father’s well-loved game. What a pity I will pray him good luck in getting the approval he sought, for my father a quick to grow disappointed and rarely gives second chances.

My hands slipped to the door lock. I judged this moment the best to retreat before things develop an uglier turn. Compared to the stuffy atmosphere I was detained in, a missed fresh breeze slapped my face. Ease my stress. Yet the time was too early to celebrate my freedom. Emery’s grip tightened on my shoulder, preventing me from getting out. The scene of him crushing the red car flashed in front of my eyes. I believed it arrived… The moment when we get to the physical part.

“Where are you going?”

I swallowed my saliva.

“In the middle of nowhere.”

Should I size the opportunity, push him hard and flee for my life? He is wasted, and Travis didn’t represent a threat. He stood nearer to the nerdy spectrum rather than to the athletic one, despite being somehow fit.

No… It will be too cowardly. A disgrace to my former self before it will be a disgrace to the McCarthy name.

I relaxed my body back. Comfortable at the surface, alert in the heart, and ready if needed.

“Where should we drop you?”

My eyebrows jerked startled, “to the university’s entrance?” And to my amazement,...

The trip sailed without further complications.

Hollow-minded there, I sat obediently during most of the drive. Unable to speculate or build theories of the ending. Next to me, Emery laid motionless. Hands crossed before his chest, head inclined backward and eyes closed. I concluded his headache consumed the remaining bits the alcohol didn’t. Likewise, Travis never peeked at the mirror again. The majority of his concentration invested on the road. When the car stopped anew, we had already reached the university.

While ready to open the door, I perceived Emery’s unfocused gaze. His head leaned to the side, observing me through half-closed eyelids. He looked so harmless and encouraged me to spill out one of my many unanswered questions.

“Did you see the person whom I came with?” Not just Emery, but also Travis. “I mean over the club’s surveillance system.” Both of them must have seen me with Mr. Milford Macias.

“Mmm…”

“Do you know the man?”

“Mmm… Yeah,” His voice dropped so low as in fading to a dream, “ a legal advisor to the Olvera Conglomeration and a close confidant to August Olvera.”

I contemplated a little before I decided to add, “No I don’t think he is working for august.” In a similarly low voice. The man is already wasted, he won’t remember anything anyway. Then I walked out, unheeding, what I just said had cleared up Emery’s headache and woke him up.

The huge trees in the entrance stretched to cover my trails. When I grew sure of my invisibility to the onlookers in the parked car, the several confident strides I took toward the gate withered, little by little. The comfort shed its silky veils on my tensed limbs releasing the restricting chains of hopelessness.

Free from my control, my legs walked the usual path as I was occupied by my next move. Henceforth, where should I go? Where should I return to? Who could be my savior in this state of homelessness, joblessness, and needs?

The money with me won’t last a month of expense. Friends? Almost nonexistent, other acquaintances? Mostly not trusted. Only two options left in my narrow drawer of available options, call my family for the rescue,... Albeit I was no longer involved with the firm, one trace of connection and I will be tracked down by the remaining partners. They will be able to inflict harm on me or use me to pressure my father once more.

But, Jacob is here.

Evelyn is here.

And Emery and August, both can be called an ally, although, with unknown agenda to me at least.

What power were the Trills left with now? Father and Evelyn blew their attempt to unite with the Olvera. Marchetti ruled as good as dead. Their law firm is sinking into chaos for a new face won’t be easy for him to take control in no time. And I have accumulated a pile of dirt against them to leak and use in court.

We basically won…

We have avenged the fall of my grandfather.

I have avenged the death of my grandfather.

The ecstasy of victory overwhelmed my worries while the stream of pinky dreams flowered inside my head. A stupid smirk printed on my lips. Soon, I will receive my law degree and return to the East. Either I will join another firm or maybe I will find work in the department of justice.

My legs paused when my mind sobered enough for me to realize I was in front of the library building. Down the line, everything looked rosy and tasted sweet. I could grab its materialization in my hands. My status in the McCarthy house will rise to a higher level, obviously not equal to competing with Alfred or Jacob, however, at last, I will ditch that nasty nickname from my forehead.

The day kept progressing greater and greater. The few hours in the library turned fruitful, I decided on the bibliographies I will employ for the rest of my thesis, sped read over half of them, then decided on the big points I will discuss.

At midday, the calls of nature finally reached me. My stomach roared hungrily while the sleepless night of yesterday demanded compensation. Stretching my arms for the last rush of energy, I collected my notes, returned the books then strode off to the exit.

The earlier problem of shelter and food, I tossed into the dustbin of unwanted worries for now. I will deal with it later when my savings dry up. Who knows maybe Evelyn will hear about my fall off with Emery and send me some pocket money, the way she used to. Besides, I must find a way to give her the information I stole before someone else will try to snatch it away from me or be found out by the enemy.

As I inhaled the campus air. In the giggles and chatters of passers-by students, a trace of nostalgia caressed my heart. A knot of regret tightened my chest for I exhausted my time as a student under the filthy swam of schemes and secrets.

My eyes roamed between the flocks of moving freshwomen and men. Always alert, always on the edges.

How remorseful for a person who can only be a student once in his whole life?

I fetched up a well-acquainted silhouette. Clumsy, disorientated, bumping here and there while asking for directions.

Yet this formed the life I was born to as well as the price I will pay for bearing the Mccarthy powerful name, whether I accepted it or not as Jacob had told me.

I stopped.

The smile overpowered my resistance to not smile.

And I waited.

The distance narrowed and I finally got spotted.

Ahh… This day is getting greater and greater.

We stood face to face, well I stood taller, so in the figurative meaning of the situation.

“You promised me… You promised me you will protect her… You promised to never show her the blood test.”

Left and right, I survived the place around us for unwanted ears then I said, “let us change the location.”

I invited Mm Marchetti to the same shop where I and Hanna officially broke up. I even chose the same table. Upon seating, the touch of anxiety painted her forehead, betraying the brave face she showed to me.

I preferred to be the initiator of this conversation.

“It took you so long, I thought you would never contact me until I find the time to pay you a personal visit.”

She pursed her lips, looking down at the table decoration, “I did… You were just nowhere to be found. I also visited the dormitory but it was under construction.”

I contemplated a little about the past days of my life. Oh… She wasn’t the one to blame for the tardiness…

Without admitting I moved to the next topic.

“You have betrayed me first.” Deflecting her earlier accusation.

The soft tremble in her lower lips surpassed yet her eyes glittered by a newly formed mist.

“You don’t understand…”

“Understand what?”

“It was out of my hands”

“Out of your hands”

“I couldn’t just refuse…”

I drank her pitiful appearance trying to assess the sincerity from the acting.

“You can punish me, but not Anna…”

Ugh, a wrong move, employing the same name I once used to call her daughter.

The conversation ceased when the server brought my order. Uncourteous, I obeyed the call of nature, jumping onto the food, devouring spoon after spoon like a starved monkey pig. Whilst wondering about the last time I enjoyed my food this much. It must be the Olvera dinner party.

The gritted meat was also good until it lasted.

Mm, Marchetti kept her silence, only settling for mouthfuls of water. One after the other, as a coping mechanism.

“What are you going to do now?”

“Me?” I questioned under the chewing movements of my teeth.

“I mean to us?”

I nearly choked… “You, what are you going to do now? You get what you wanted, your cheating husband on his deathbed, the little heir is dead. All the wealth and assets will become yours and your daughter’s, exactly like you had wished.”

“I never thought of… Of… Harming anyone before, his… His action forced me to…”

“I know, I know, we all have reasons to kill someone but only a few have the guts to do so.”

A customer switched on the TV, leaving it on the news channel. The loud sound reverberated across the walls.

“No, it’s not what you think, Liam was never my target for revenge.”

I gazed at her, annoyed by the voice of the reporters. Under my scrutinized glares, the stress coerced her to explain.

“The agreement wasn’t to kill him at all. It was to put him to sleep so the kidnapping process will be easy… But… But…”

“But he is dead.” I glanced at the TV screen. Before I concentrated on any headline, the realization struck me. Why she wasn't framing me or accusing me of the murder if she only put the kid to sleep?

I eyed her in well-hidden confusion and she averted her eyes.

Oh god, I remembered that night as well as I remember the knitting needle in the boy's neck. The painful breathing and the flowing tears or raindrops.

“She found out about her father's will…” Despite she had reached the verge of sobbing she continued, “all that stress, all that weariness became anger.”

Rationally meditating, Mm. Marchetti never was the bold type. Employing a needle to kill someone deviated far away from her style. Rather she hit me as the preserving one, never the impulsive thriller seeker or the compulsive one. Not because of intelligence or wit, but instead out of fear and cowardice. Moreover, the autopsy report proved the trace of the sleeping medicine in the boy's blood.

The silence befell our table for our talk ended sooner than I anticipated. I sighed, searching for a diversion. The water glass on my right, the busy server, the sound of the TV. anything will do.

Ah… The TV, Yes, yes the TV. I will watch the news.

In a last attempt to gather my scattered, contradicted emotions. I invested all my heart in it.

Moving pictures crossed my eyes, an unrecognizable voice buzzed in my ears. They didn’t build a strong distraction. Only when I caught an image of August being surrounded by a swarm of reporters, my muddled brain dispatched a sign of revival. My eyes galloped the headlines, adding meaning to each term glowing on the big screen.

Upon absorbing the sense of the caption I jumped out of my seat, approaching the screen.

“Cargo ship laden with prohibited substances docked at the Olvera and the new manager declares…”