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Tin Can in Woe
Land of Woe

Land of Woe

The hammering ringing of the metallic alarm thunders and echoes and the man pulls himself out of the blissful sleep. A daunting task indeed. Having slept only a few hours since he came last night, he curses under his breath to whoever first drank the water of the fermented liquor and brought alcohol to this world.

"Why do I drink?" He groans and moans as he stretches, his arm flailing around trying to reach for the alarm until it finally hits the correct spot. Silence at last! His ears may no longer bleed, but God in heaven knows his stomach is about to spill other fluids out of his mouth.

Tasting the bile in his throat he gets out of the bed and rushes to the bathroom. Gagging and soon throwing up the poisonous addiction he narrowly escapes every night. Why does beer have to be cheaper than food he wonders?

But if there was anyone around to trick with that question, he would have failed. It has nothing to do with price or flavor. And as soon as he drags his body to the sink he gets a reminder of why the yellow liquid always ends up in his hands.

He grabs the toothbrush like you would hold a piece of gold you happened to find in the street one day. Same bewilderment, and shock. After all, how could a woman like her ever have loved a man like him? But alas, she is no longer here.

Just this piece of sentimental gold. Or Uranium by how Justin slowly rots the longer that toothbrush remains in his possession. He glances at the bin next to him. So easy it would be to throw it away and get rid of it for good...he is going for it! Simply let go of it!...

Of course, this never happens.

"Godammit" He whispers, waving away the acidic smell of his breath and leaving the toothbrush on the soda cup where he retrieved it. He won that cup in a game of chess once, it belonged to a friend long now gone.

Like everyone in his life. They all went away. They are still alive, but no longer nearby. Surrounded by concrete pillars the termites called people inhabit. Such a sprawling city he lives in, yet, nothing is more isolating than seeing so many people and being seen so little.

A brush of his teeth, a splash of water on his face, and he is good to go! Just collapse on top of his bed one more time to almost fall asleep, cursing the sperm that must have let him win the race knowing what awaited them if they won, and get changed for the day.

"Breakfast of champions! Hell yeah!" He pushes that hell yeah like Sisyphus, in a vain attempt to lessen the pain of the headache he has. But a single toast with butter and a glass of definitely not week-old milk is hardly a breakfast at all, and that constant pumping of pain will remain for the next hour or so.

Putting on his baseball cap he can't help but smile. Gosh darn it, it has been a while since he last swung the bat to hit that ball out of the field! Perhaps one day soon, once he gets time out of his seven-day-a-week job! The world is always progressing, surely, an eight-day for the week is soon to come.

"Crap!" He shouts noticing the hour, this time he really hit the hay like a truck! No time to waste!

He rushes out of his department, although he is certain that zoo animals get better dwellings. At least with a roof over his head and a stomach only three-quarters empty, he can say there is definitely almost a sun ray piercing through it all.

No point in looking at the eviction notice stuck to his wall, Tommy doesn't bother tearing it off by the end of the month when Justin can finally pay enough for the next twenty-nine days anymore. Or he would begin charging the money he spends printing it. So the nice red paper remains like a sort of trophy for Justin.

Always close, but never evicted! If writing that on the paper didn't feel pitiful he would have done so long ago. Victories like those are better celebrated in the privacy of his mind anyway.

Now begins the daily exercise! Nothing like twelve floors to rush through to reach the first floor! At least his cardio must be excellent nowadays.

With a spring to his step, he doesn't even feel the tiredness anymore. Today is the day! Four long years will be repaid with enough money to buy not only the fish he always wanted but the perfect aquarium for it to live in.

Just because he has to soldier on each day in that department it doesn't mean he will subject the poor fella to a life in one of those tiny glass bowls. He always wanted a pet, and if he gets one then he will make the best home he can for it.

One of us is going to live like a king little buddy he thinks as he looks at the pet store on the other side of the street. But as he runs something catches his eye that makes him pull the brakes and turn around.

"Excuse me!" He shouts at the confused business woman "You dropped this" He says, now feeling the shortness of breath catching up to him, as he hands over the wallet to its rightful owner.

"Oh," She replies, grabbing it and squinting her eyes at him as she opens it "You didn't take anything did you?" Quickly, her eyes scan everything in her wallet.

"Of course not"

The woman seems content with what she sees and offers a single hmph to him. Before putting the wallet in her purse and continuing her brisk pace to whatever place she was going.

You are welcome Justin thinks. But then, Mother always said that if you wait for anything in return after a good action, then it's no longer virtuous. So he shakes his head and takes a deep breath, there are still a few blocks to cover.

Maybe I can get her something too. Something light that won't cause the shipping price to skyrocket. Knowing how all she likes is machinery that helps clean that old wooden house, this is food for thought.

He reaches the store just in time. No one has made it yet, so he goes through his keys and can officially begin his day.

But what does he do? Sell products? Cleaning? Oh no. Justin is a go-getter, he keeps the energy no matter what and is good with people. So the boss charged him with one task and one task only. The most important job for a medium-sized store dedicated solely to cleaning products.

"Come! Buy in Cleaning Kings! I, Sir Lancespoonge guarantee products at the lowest prices and of the strongest kinds! Slay all monsters and save your pockets some money!"

Justin performs with literal years of experience for any passerby who may stop just for a second to stare at his costume. In the beginning, just a metal bucket on his head, but now, a real mascot for the store.

The same metal bucket on his head, now with a large single eye painted on the forehead and small fissures like a barcode that lets him actually see what's in front of him. A red cape flows beautifully on his back, reaching down almost to his ankles and kept in place by a lone steel button painted gold.

He considered buying a breastplate, but having to wear a costume from 7 A.m. to 5 P.m., would be unwise. Instead, he puts on a chainmail shirt on top of his white tank top. Courtesy of Janice, one of her coworkers, who put together the chainmail after collecting enough tin tabs from soda cans and gave herself the task to put them all together, a real piece of art.

For his hands a pair of pruning gloves. For his legs brown jeans with no pockets at all, the color to match his gloves. A black leather belt, and black military boots with foam painted and attached to it to make it look like a segmented medieval knight boot of some sort.

Last but not least, the most-priced piece of his costume. A bandolier that can actually hold onto items. Usually, he puts cleaning products on it to show interested buyers. But in truth, it can hold a dozen objects the size of a large can.

This is not the most well-paying job. It is tiring, and at the beginning a bit degrading. But once he began seeing the way people tried to hide their smiles when they looked at him. Not out of mockery, but genuine joy and desire to laugh...it made him feel well.

Not all jobs have to be glamorous, not all people need to be exceptional.

He is just another man in the sea of lost faces who was left by his almost four-year-long girlfriend, barely able to pay the bills, and likely not going anywhere in this mad world we live in.

But in whatever way he can, he is happy. And gives it his all to make others happy.

You've got to look at that glass of water half full, lest you drown in it.

"Hey Justin," The owner of the store says as he walks up to the tired Justin. The last rays of the sun are about to hide behind the large concrete towers of the city "Great work this year too, see you tomorrow"

"Of course, thank you!" Justin can barely contain his excitement when the boss hands him the classic gift box. With the tie on its head and everything "Merry Christmas boss"

"Merry Christmas Justin"

It may still be a week early for it. And he will still work on this holiday, but this Christmas it really seems sweeter than most others already.

He is sweaty and cold. But it's been another hard day at work for him. Soon Justin will be home, take an even colder shower, and go straight to that store. But first, he has to lock the store.

Carrying his backpack he puts the box with his payment safely inside. After working four years in that store, he has earned a one-time only payment of five times the usual.

Hearing the satisfying sound of the lock clicking in place just as the lights of the streets begin to flood the city almost makes him jump in excitement. Only to realize that he was so trapped in his own thoughts that he never took off the costume.

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

"Damn it. Well, a minute or two won't make a difference"

The shuffling of keys begins once again when a particular sound catches his attention. Looking across the street he sees a street performer that he doesn't recognize. Working out in the streets for so long has him accustomed to the usuals.

But this is the first time he has seen that girl.

Dressed far too scantily for the cold of the night, she rides on a monocycle with hanging string puppets in each hand. A pair of knights ducking it out. Long blue silk gloves and socks with bright yellow stars on them. Tied around her waist and on top of a blue mini-skirt with white stripes rests a black, worn longsleeved shirt. Her torso is almost completely exposed, a bunch of bandages managing to keep some dignity by covering her breasts but nothing more. A purple tie hangs loosely around her neck.

What draws more of Justin's attention, however, is the large top hat that rests on her head. Hell, that almost swallows it. It's so big that as she moves from left to right, seemingly close to falling face-first from her monocycle, it threatens to completely hide her head. Like his own bucket helmet.

Except there wouldn't be a way for her to see with it. It is a collection of colors and different textures stitched together. Her shoulder-length light brown hair seems as dirty as her ghostly white skin.

Despite the unique attire and admittedly impressive performance, no one bats an eye at her. She moves around the crowds like a falling leaf that avoids anyone nearby. Turning and spinning around in a chaotic, yet oddly graceful manner.

Then, she is staring straight at him. With a speed that takes him by surprise, she goes right through the busy streets full of cars, stopping so close Justin hits his back on the steel door of the store.

"Holy!...damn"

The performer stands a bit away and this time the people around them begin to walk further from them. The performer has a thin, long, ear-to-ear smile as she brings the string puppets to hi face. The two knights, one with a red cape and the other with a black one fight for a brief moment, all while she mimics the sounds of battle with her closed mouth.

Oh hell, one of those...she will not leave unless I pay her won't she?

Finally, the knight with the black cape kills the other one and the performer bows to Justin, her top hat falling to the ground in the perfect position to receive any donations.

"Well, you are very talented, but you are going to catch a cold dressed like that..." A hoodie shouldn't be too expensive, so kneeling down he opens his backpack and reaches for the gift his boss just gave him.

A rookie mistake.

In a flash, the performer snatches the box and rides away in her monocycle, a hat thrown by her feet on top of her head. The two string puppets lying now on the floor.

"HEY! STOP!" Justin tries to pull his backpack over his shoulders only to crash back onto the ground. A quick glance later, the straps are stuck beneath the door "Oh no, no" He looks back at the performer who rides away with a big grin on her face.

Around him, everyone just glances at him with an arched eyebrow or doesn't even bother at all. There is no time to think, everything he has is in that box, not the backpack with a change of clothes and empty bottles of water!

Justin gets on his feet and snatching the bucket helmet on his hands takes off with whatever energy he has left. After working the entire day his lungs burn as he sprints through the streets, causing more than one driver to pull the brakes and blast their horns at him.

Who is that lunatic running around? They all wonder.

The performer is incredibly skillful, dodging every person, sometimes not even looking ahead as she does. Rather, she turns to face Justin, laughing silently as she passes the box from hand to hand.

"Stop her! Help me, please!" Justin shouts at anyone who would listen. And a few do.

But as they turn to see the performer they just stand there with confused looks. Justin curses and forces himself to run faster.

Three blocks later the thief enters the city park, full of trees and bushes, at this hour emptying of people. Justin, taking ragged breaths and hurting in places he didn't know had muscles, manages to almost catch her. But holding his helmet on his arm prevents him from reaching out fully and he falls on his face against the cold stone floor.

Blood drips onto the stone as he takes a few seconds to gather his breath. Looking up he sees the thief silently giggling as she juggles the precious box.

Why?! I have tried to look at the bright side and treat people right! I don't deserve this! He tries one last time to look for any help but finds himself alone in the park. Not even the guards are nearby. Focusing on the thief once more he swallows hard and gets on his feet.

"Wait! Please, don't go away" He begs, and she doesn't ride away "I know it must be hard, it's hard for me too. But please, I beg you, don't steal my money. You can keep half if you want, but I really need it, please"

The thief takes a finger to her face and makes an exaggerated gesture of thinking about it. Soon her grin returns and she points at the bucket, making it clear without a word she wants him to wear it.

Justin kneels once more and puts it on. As he looks up at her she grabs his head in place, in the blink of an eye having gotten up to his face. For the first time, they look each other eye to eye.

But hers are all wrong.

Where white should be, it looks as if an artery had popped inside her eye, and her iris is just a plain, circular shade of mustard, not even pupils. Contact lenses? Before he can do anything, like grabbing her for example, she slaps him away and rides away.

Justin grunts, anger now taking over his fear and exhaustion. He is getting that box back.

He takes off towards her once more. The thief grabs the box and puts it on top of her head, hiding it beneath her top hat as they reach the center of the park. There is a large marble statue of a woman pouring water, a man looking at something in the distance, and a child at the very top of them with a star in his hand. The statue is at the center of a large fountain.

She rides up to it, and jumps onto the fountain, splashing water all around. Justin is not going to stop until he gets that box back.

The chase continues as she rides in circles around the fountain with Justin. She silently giggles to herself as they run in circles three times before Justin finally is forced to stop and breathe.

How is she still going?! Or is it just because I worked all day?

He looks up at her, noticing that there are now people around them. Too many people. Dozens of them, and they all seem drenched. All men and women simply stand there in complete silence, not even blinking. Their skin looks sick and it sticks to their bones, as if they had not been fed in days or weeks.

Creepiest of all, they have a wide grin, and their eyes are popped open.

Something is not right.

"WOE IS YOU, LOST AFTER NOON. BLEEDS AND CRIES, UNDER THE NEW MOON"

Justin snaps back at her. Her voice is a mockery of melody. He feels in his ears the same you would feel if someone clawed at a metal pan with a knife.

"RUN NOW WHILE YOU CAN, OR YOU WILL BE TORN APART, SO THINK FAST, TIN CAN!" the performer laughs as she dashes at Justin, only to jump on her monocycle impossibly high, falling into the fountain once more.

Only that this time she sinks, like a stone thrown at the sea.

Justin's breathing quickens, her words echoing in his mind as he frantically turns left and right. The people around him begin to shake, but not like they should. Rather, it's as if they were a recording that has gotten corrupted. Their forms twist and return to shape like out of a nightmare.

And they begin to approach him. Not even putting a foot in front of the other, just suddenly advancing as their images seem to fight to not stop existing.

Justin runs at the fountain and is thrown on his back by it countless arms burst and try to grab him. He can't even scream. It must be a dream, it has to be.

The actual sound of a metal pan being scratched with a knife forces him to look back at the creatures quickly shortening the distance towards him.

Nightmare or not, he can't just lay here and wait to find out.

God all mighty, in heaven, save me!

He never was religious, but given the situation, it may be better to be safe. He springs to his feet and now fueled by pure fear finds it in him the energy to run away. All lights of the park die at the same time, and the creatures now reveal their true shapes.

Long, thin humanoid creatures with slender arms and legs, but fat, morbidly obese bellies. Their feet are destroyed with leftovers of torn flesh, with white broken bones keeping them on their two legs. Caterpillar-like creatures twist and turn from somewhere in their crotchs. A human face smiling at Justin where the insect head should be.

The creatures have no head or neck. Just freakishly long arms that drag on the ground.

They run with a clear tik-tak on the stone floor, as well as the wet flapping of their mangled feet.

"Help me, sir!" "Over here! I need help!" "Please, I'm hurt!" "I'm lost, anyone there?!" Mommy! I want my mommy!"

As they chase Justin, the faces on the caterpillars shout loudly in voices of all kinds. Children, elderly, men and women. Some even sound like hurt animals or young puppies.

Justin focuses on the path ahead because the last thing he wants is to trip.

Where are the buildings?! Why are there so many trees in here?! Where am I?!

Gone are the tall concrete pillars. He should be in the middle of the city, and yet there is no towering building in sight. The night sky is completely cloudless and with no stars in sight. Only the white bright full moon staring at Justin. Right in front of him, like marking the path he must follow.

As he runs, the trees grow larger and thinner. As well as less straight. Every couple of meters he runs, they begin to get more and more twisted.

But it becomes clear that is not all that is going on. He looks at his feet and notices he is starting to tilt to the side. Only a few moments later he realizes that the whole world is slowly turning upside down, and it continues that way until he has made a 360.

At that moment his next step fails to touch the ground. Instead, he begins to levitate, slowly at first, enough for the monsters to reach out and try to grab him, but before they can, he is pulled upwards with fury.

Is as if he was falling, except that upwards.

He flails his arms around helplessly when a pain he never felt before begins to pierce his entire body. He stares at his gloves and feels the leather melt into his very flesh. The same happens with his boots, pants, and worse of all. The bucket.

It crushes his skull and he shrieks in agony. The painted eye on the bucket bulges out and begins to cry. Red veins pump it into life until it blinks, and now Justin sees clearly once more. In time to see how the moon seems to move from the horizon all the way right in front of him.

And it grows larger and larger.

Until he crashes into it. And it breaks like a window would brake if you threw a stone at it.

The first thing that happens is that he hits the bucket against something. And it hurts much more than it should. The second, he is shrouded in darkness and swallows a mouthful of water. As well as breathe it in.

Panicking, he trashes around until he sees a white dim light and goes for it.

As soon as his head gets out of the water he coughs and vomits. He is inside a not-so-deep well. Using the last of his energy he pulls himself out of it and collapses on the dirt, coughing violently as his body does its best to get rid of the water.

Desperately, he fumbles around trying to take out his gloves. But he can't, it's like trying to tear one's arm. And by how it hurts and what he feels, these gloves may just be indeed, his arms.

The same with boots, pants...and head. He pokes his own eye and screams once more.

"COME ON! WAKE UP!" He hits his bucket, the metallic sound betraying how vividly he feels each strike "WAKE UP! WAKE UP!"

But there is no pinch that can wake him up. Spent as he is, the struggle lasts little. He cowers on the dirt for some time, refusing to open his eye for as long as possible. Fearful one of those monsters may see him and kill him at any moment.

Once he has the courage, he opens it and gets a real look at where he is.

The dirt is black, and there is not a single sign of grass. All around him, there are long, thin rods that look like hairs stretching several meters up. With several frog-like creatures stuck on their surfaces. They are brown and dark green in color.

Looking up there are clouds of countless worm-like beings all tangled up, constantly moving like a revolting spaghetti of another world, floating up there. Occasionally, one or two of those worms seem to detach from the rest and fall who knows where.

Not a star in sight.

Only the moon remains exactly how he remembers it. Standing up to his feet he realizes the moon is right above his head. Peeking down at the well he can see its reflection.

"...What the fuck is going on"

What the fuck indeed.

Justin looks around one last time. There is this smell of wet dirt all around, as well as the croaking of the frogs to fill the forest with noise. As well as fireflies dancing around. The thought comes that if he came through the well, those monsters could too.

And with no other plan in mind. He takes the first step and moves forward.

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