Once we got to Mariah’s office, she welcomed us both with open arms and her usual cheery attitude.
-How are both of you darlings? Getting ready for the plague? I hope you bought life insurance!
-Har har, laugh all you want, but once you’ll see what this is all about, you'll know I’m right. Here, have a gander of what’s written over here. I know you comprehend English well enough to understand this.
I propped up my laptop in her face and left her to read my correspondence with Wu. I then told her about the death of Elias and his wife, who had also been her patients, and that of the sailor. Noticing that they had all died due to similar causes, Mariah quickly understood what this was all about, so she quickly handed us the prescriptions for the recommended medicine. She told us bluntly that we should keep our distance, just in case we had been infected for real. The situation in China had become somewhat dire, but I was hoping it would not develop in the same way in my country as well. What I was especially concerned for was the life of my daughter. I was not that much bothered by the prospect of my own demise, not to mention that of the old hag big mama, who had eroded my nerves for thirty years, since both of us had lived a decently fulfilled existence so far, but my daughter had her whole life ahead of her.
On our way back, we took a cab and headed to the closest pharmacy. After reading the prescriptions and seeing us both with face masks, the pharmacist lady began fidgeting. I assumed that she also knew something about the virus.
-Chill out, lady. So far, we have no symptoms, but it’s better to be safe, than sorry. Having the pills at hand is a smart thing to do.
-Did you return from China or any other part of the globe recently? Or have you come in contact with anyone else that came from there ever since?
The evil midget inside my brain was urging me to cough in her direction just to scare her some more. I slapped the little bastard aside.
-No, we have not left the country nor have we been in contact with anybody foreign. We just want to take all the caution necessary, just in case something does happen.
Hearing my answer, she stopped being so panicky, took my prescription, then came back from the end of the store with a bundle of colorful medicine and a stack of about ten boxes of surgical masks and latex gloves each. After splitting the load with my daughter, we both headed home.
When we stepped inside the apartment, we stumbled upon a huge racket. Cornered by the French revolutionary barker, the tuxedo cat had jumped high on the stove, while two of the “eyes” were still on fire. As a result, Othello had fried the end of his tail, and the whole house was stinking of burnt cat fur and singed flesh. The poor meower was softly licking his tail while sporting a pained grimace on his face, and Obelix was gazing down on him with a victorious smirk from the top of the couch.
At the insistence of my family, I shoved the silly cat inside one of those plastic carriers he hated so much, then I rushed him to the vet’s office. I made it there with barely one hour before closing time, and I was lucky that there was no queue. Funny enough, even the vet was sporting a face mask, and I could bet we all looked to the cat like aliens did to the abduction victims, before the usual anal probing took place. The vet cleaned his wound and shaved off the singed hair, put some anti-burn medical ointment on it, then bandaged it firmly. In the end, she also mounted around his neck one of those plastic cornet-things that disallowed him from scratching his tail or removing the bandage. Sure enough, the mountain climber really looked like a satellite dish now, ready to summon his alien overlords at any given moment. The vet told me to come back within three days for a bandage change, then passed me a bunch of pills and ointments that I was supposed to stuff down the throat of the recently-charred pest. On my way back, I was forced to keep the satellite-cat in one hand and the carrier in the other, since he did not fit inside anymore. Add the face mask to the mix, and I looked like someone recently escaped from the circus. Good thing that the vet office was close to home.
During the first night after finding out that I might be a carrier of the China virus, nothing happened. It was only during the second and third day that stuff began to happen. I woke up with a fever, and I was getting the shivers even though the temperature inside the house was quite warm. A dry, sore throat and a nasty cough were also cropping up from time to time. Sure enough, the signs were all there. I grabbed the phone, then called the Chief of the Tropical Disease Hospital.
-Greetings, Doc! Apparently, what I was afraid of has happened. I’m fever-ish with 39 degrees Celsius, and I have a hacking cough in my throat. I think I’m screwed!
-Greek, chill. Don’t panic or make a big deal out of it for no reason. Take the pills Wu recommended for you, some vitamins, eat some chicken soup for the soul, then continue writing. Keep your mind away from the whole stupid virus. I already read your book, so I’m looking forward to the second part. You’re not allowed to die before completing it!
-Should I try the chloroquine too? Wu said it worked on some of the cases.
-If you have any, sure, give it a try. Even If you won’t get rid of the virus, you will sure as hell get rid of any malaria within you. Anyway, it does seem to do SOMETHING positive to the patients, which is better then zero. Anyway, just hit the sack and keep writing.
-Aren’t you afraid, Doc? Wu tells me that the pool lil’ Chinamen are dying in batches over there. Did you receive the testing kits yet?
-Nope, it’s going to take a while before those get here. And if I were to be affraid of any random common cold, I would have not become the Chief of Staff at a f*****g PLAGUE HOSPITAL. I'm tougher than the Gibraltar Rock. Everybody is pissing their pants nowadays over this Chinese virus, I swear, everybody’s gone crazy.
-Well, at least don’t say that you have not been forewarned, after you come crawling back to me while bawling your eyes that you got infected too. Anyway, did you get in touch with pal Wu?
-Yeah, I just sent him an email. Don’t take the whole virus that seriously! Even though you got infected, that’s only because of an odd circumstance. How many people do you think will run into a SICK sailor coming from China, out of the whole country? You’re the exception, not the rule. The virus is probably much too “bourgeois” to lower itself and infect the meager lowlifes from our country.
-Whatever, Doc, your call.
I hung up the phone, took some of the pills with a sip of hot tea that had been prepared by my daughter, then I picked up the laptop and wrote back to Wu. I told him about my symptoms, and my general state of health. He was obviously worried about my wellbeing, but he had no way to help, except for some more medical advice which I took in spades. After Wu, I wrote to Alfie. I told him about the three dead victims, and about my wonky state of existence. After half an hour of writing, my head was already killing me and my mood to do anything had plummeted to zero. It freaking sucks being sick! I felt woozy and sleepy, so I decided to just take some shuteye, and leave my body to do its thing.
I woke up later from a bitter cough. I had slept for about three hours. When I tried to climb down from bed, I felt like my legs were made out of jello. I quickly climbed back inside my fortress of pillows and covers, then called for my daughter. I was still getting the shivers, even though I was burning up at the same time. It just shows how messed up the organism can become when exposed to unknown pathogens, making me feel like I was out in a blizzard, when in fact I was burning hot enough to dry towels on my skin.
-How are you feeling, daughter? Any coughing? Fever? Myself, I’m feeling cold all over the place.
-I saw. When I came earlier into the room, you were shivering like jello, so I tossed some extra blankets over you. I made you some hot turkey and dumplings soup. Want a bowl?
-Thank you, young female spawn of mine. Please, go grab me a serving and a big spoon. I just love dumpling poultry soups. Also, what’s going to happen to the mountain climbing cat? He’s scheduled for a bandage change in two days from now, but I don’t think I can make it.
-I’ll take him over when it’s time, don’t fret about it. I already shoved today’s antibiotic medicine down his gullet. Grandma helped to hold him still, because he was thrashing about like a feral beast. He’s freakin’ hilarious with that cornet thing around his head. For now, he’s locked in my room, because Obelix keeps poking at him.
-Thanks, missy, I hope to be back on my feet as soon as possible.
My daughter brought me an oversized bowl of freshly made hot soup with dumplings. I ate the whole thing, but my whole system was still upset. The shivering and the whole cold sensation was annoying the hell out of me, especially since I knew that it was a “fake” sensation. In gamer terms, my stamina “bar” felt drained and I was not regenerating any back. Big mama and my daughter had made a list full of fruits and veggies that help increase immunity, and were planning to force feed them to me like I was some foie gras goose.
When they left for the shops to get the stuff, I remained locked in the house with only both of the furries, which were competing again at destroying the order of the house. Taking advantage of the cat's medical problem and the cornet that had been placed around his neck, the pooch was managing to catch up to poor Othello very easily now, and was administering a decent ammount of corporal punishment to the tuxedo victim. Since I wasn't able to come down out of bed and stop them, the pooch did whatever he pleased, cherishing his time at a vengeance. Whater. Damn the pets. I was still hoping that my sickness was just some common cold and not the fierce virus, since I did not feel the shortness of breath symptom yet, which meant my lungs were still in decent shape.
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And just like that, ten days of me lying in bed like a sack of potatoes passed in the blink of an eye. I would love to regale you with the stories of my internal struggle, and how my heroic metabolism, after a series of defeats, rallied back the troops and charged fiercely into the ranks of the viral invader, cutting a swathe of death and destruction across the virion army, but the truth is that the only thing I did was to do nothing, because I only felt like shit throughout the whole period. The shivers and the sensation of languidness passed away, but I still had a nasty cough and a fever, albeit of a lesser degree. I was now able to abuse the laptop once again, which was wonderful. I kept in touch on a daily basis with my friend Wu. He told me that I had passed the critical stage, where the danger was at its peak, but still urged me to take the test as soon as possible. Taking his advice, I called again the Chief of Staff from the Tropical Disease Hospital. It was only after many attempts that I managed to get through to him, the line proving to be quite busy. I assumed he was getting a lot more calls nowadays, since more and more cases were being discovered, even in my country.
-Hello, Doc! I’m calling to ask about those viral tests. Did they arrive yet? I really need to have myself, my daughter and big mama tested. Payment is not an issue.
-Bzzt, ERROR! This is not about the money, greek! It’s about the f***ing slow ass system and the retards that were supposed to acquire them from China and ship them over here. Leave anything in the hands of the State and it’s going to take ages for them to get anything done because everything gets buried in bureaucracy. I’m told that the tests will arrive only three days from now. Today's monday, so call me back on thursday. If the thing arrives as promised, I'll schedule you and your whole family for a friday morning appointment. Also, assuming that you DID catch the virus, I’m prohibiting you to go out of the house. Seriously. Stay the f**k inside, or I’ll come over and break your legs!
-Hah! Thanks Doc. I’m not worried about me, I'm troubled that my daughter and mother-in-law might have caught this dam bug off of me. I don't want to have them on my conscience.
-Bleh, your worries are unfounded. Call me back thursday evening. Here, write down my private number, since this office phone has been ringing non stop as of late, and the line is choked.
While the doctor’s optimism was a little bit over the top, I had to give it to the guy. He was an extremely smart and professional kind of a dude. I hoped deeply inside that he was right, and I was panicking for no reason. Whatever, “que sera, sera”. It was a long time till friday.
Othello had been released from the confines of the cornet and his mummy-tail had been unwrapped. The burn had transformed into only minor surface wounds, and they had healed almost completely. It was now his turn to camp out and execute the barker at every corner. The bulldog was now full of claw marks and was squeeling like a medieval torture victim quite a few times every day. Othello sure knew how to hold a grudge. Now it was the pooch’s turn to be on the receiving end. The semi-permanent quarrel between the two was amusing me. It was a piece of much welcomed “normality”, if you could call it that. Slowly, Thursday evening arrived. By then, I was feeling alot better, even though not still 100%. I called the Chief once more, and he answered me much more rapidly this time.
-Evenin’ Doc. How are the kits doing? Have they arrived yet?
-Yeah, hold your horses, we got them about two hours ago. I have not even read the whole manual for them yet! Can you all come tomorrow morning at 10? Someone will wait for you at the main entrance and take you to my office. I’ll have a nurse take samples. One kindley out of you should be enough for a sample, greek!
-Amusing as usual, Doc. We’ll be there at 10. Thanks a lot, I owe you one. You’re a great guy!
Sure enough, that was one less thing to worry about. From what I could gather from the global press, the situation seemed to be picking up all across the civilised world. Sadly, Alfie and Cheryl had also told me that they had flu-like symptoms, and were staying cooped up inside of their homes as well. I told them what medication I had taken, and were quite amused at the Quinine part. Wu had become strangely silent, but I knew he was going to be alright, he was a tough frontline “soldier” in the fight against the virus. I was hoping that his family was safe too. Still, I had two days or more for the results of my test to come back, since the first batch of tests had not been those instant kind-of test kits.
Sure enough though, the ever enterprising minds of the scumbags from my country had come with a “brilliant” idea again, and the news were exploding head lines everywhere about how a group had sold expired pregnancy kits and had passed them off as virus tests, peddling them for an absurd amount of money.
Next day at 10'o clock, we found ourselves in the office of the Chief of Staff at the Tropical Diseases Hospital. The doctor had kept his word and had reserved a few test kits for me and my family. I gifted a box of cuban cigars to him, since he had mentioned he liked them much. He thanked me for the gift, and after getting swabbed by a nurse for samples, he told me that the results will arrive two days from now. After that we left for home. Big mama had become a lot more pessimistic as of late, and she had stopped displaying that air of indifference. In about an hour we arrived back home. Immediately I grabbed my laptop and I began to write a new message for Wu, from which I had not heard a peep in over a week. While I was searching through my inbox, I was also stunned to find a message from Cheryl, who began telling me that she had admitted Alfie to the hospital the night before. The poor guy could barely breathe anymore, and because he was already suffering from hypertension, he was also having unwanted heart palpitations. I was sincerely hoping that he would just get better, but I also did not put it beside him to just croak and leave poor Cheryl alone in the world.
The two days of waiting for the test results passed in the blink of an eye. The atmosphere inside the house was quite tense and everybody was sitting on pins and needles. Even the two villainous furballs were aware that something important was happening, because the entire morning they had behaved in a surprisingly placid way. At about one PM I received a phone call on my mobile, with the Chief of Staff on the other end of the line.
-Good day to you, doctor, we were waiting for news from your side of the fence. What do the tests say?
-I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news, Greek, but you and your whole family have already been infected with the troublesome virus. On the other hand, it seems that you have already been through the whole ordeal and are already “clean”, with only traces of the antibodies that have killed the virus in your system. I will run a second test for you only, during Tuesday morning, and I'm certain that it will come out negative. I wrote you a prescription and I’ll pick up the medicine from my pharmacy. The pills are going to be for your daughter and for your mother-in-law. I even put that chloroquine thingy that apparently aided you on the list. Give me your exact address and I'll come and drop the medicine off. All of you are disallowed from stepping out of the house anymore. I cannot in good conscience, now that I know for certain that all three of you have the virus, to allow you to spread it to anyone else, willing or unwilling. Since nobody else but me and the guys at the lab know of your results, let's not over-complicate things, so just stay put at home. I do not want to have to fill 3 more extra beds over here for no real reason, leave those spots for the people that develop actual problematic symptoms. Can you handle the treatment of your girls? If you have any questions related to the pills, just ask.
-Well, what about yourself? Don’t you count as an outside contact?
-Sure, you’re right, but if you gave me the virus sometime during those two weeks we were in contact, then I’m screwed anyway. Plus, at least I know what to do if I get infected, so I’m not like the rest of the population.
-Thanks a lot for taking the time, Doc, I’ll pay you back tenfold!
-Cut the chatter, and go take care of the girls. For now, don’t tell them anything. If they ask, tell them it’s just a new strand of the old common flu, and that they should stay inside and not infect other people from work.
I hung up the phone. I was feeling rage against my helplessness again. Still, if I was capable of beating the disease even at my age and not-that-stelar of a base health, I don’t see why my daughter would fare any worse. As far as the old hag was concerned, well...it was a coin toss. But all throughout her life, big mamna had proven to be quite a resilient type of a creature. Whatever “deities” were playing with this Earth, if any, I knew they would keep her alive, only just to spite me. Alas, hope dies last, in the form of a fat lady having a heart attack while singing her last song. I forcibly muscled my face into a pleasant grin, then went to tell the girls the news.
-We’re ok, big mama. You shall live to 100 and continue to annoy me forever. It’s only a stronger seasonal flu, but we all have it. The Chief is going to come over, and drop off some medicine. He says we should all stay inside for now.
-Meh, better to prevent sickness than to have to treat it, I always said. Your Chief of Staff friend is a nice man for coming to deliver those.
-True that, old fart.
-Cut it out you two! You old fossils are going to wind up like sponges If you keep poking holes into eachother!
I began to play with the two furry critters, just so I could distract myself from all of the dark thought brewing inside of me. All I wanted to do is to make sure my daughter would be alright. Finally, after a while, the doorbell rang. The doctor had come as promised. I opened the door, and signaled him to not spill the beans.
-Come in, Doc, make yourself at home. I got you a little something that you might enjoy.
-I’m not going to stay long. The situation back at the office is getting more and more dire. I don’t know what we’re going to do, we don’t have enough beds for a full outbreak, if it comes to that. At least you folk got away from being admitted, for now.
The doctor went inside the living room together with me, and got a “welcome” series of growls and barks out of Obelix, who can’t stand strangers. Othello had “installed” himself inside the arms of my daughter, and was acting dead. Big mama brought some appetizers from the kitchen, playing the polite host. There were a few slices of bread with Roquefort cheese and onions on top. Nobody could resist the allure of such a treat, tomcat included. Therefore, as soon as the goodies arrived in the room, the tuxedo pilferer had immediately rebooted, and was now struggling out of my daughter's hands to reach the platter. My daughter began to pick him up so she could lock him in the other room, but the doctor told her to pass him the cat, since he had a critter like that of his own.
-Let me see that furry little thief, young lady! I got one of these back at home, and they steal everything in sight.
-Umm...are you sure? He’ll scratch you. He does not like strangers that much.
-Hah, it’s all about how you approach them. Here, let me have him.
Sure enough, the daughter passed him over, but the Doctor began to bait the cat with a thimble of Roquefort, and got him to behave if he wanted to get the treat. In ten minutes, the Doc and the cat were best friends. That got us to forget about the virus for a while. Impressed by the doctor’s beast taming skills, I filled a couple of crystal glasses with Martell, for me and the Chief. After chatting for a while, and having him tell me how I should treat the girls in case they got symptoms, he left to get back to his office, even though he was already outside of the working hours. Apparently, the paperwork was cumbersome enough to require putting in extra hours to solve. I was staring at another empty bottle of Martell as he left, but it had been worthed. I went to sleep a little unsettled that night, but I hoped that tomorrow would be a better day.