Ren had spent all night going over the papers, so he wasn’t very happy when his alarm woke him up at 7:30 in the morning, even if he knew that it was important it did so. Slowly but surely Ren clawed himself to the side of his bed, before smacking face first into the floor. Slightly more awake and a lot more coordinated, Ren picked himself up and prepared himself for his three year trip. Immediately at the thought of his near journey and a complete upturn of his life as he knew it, Ren was overwhelmed with the urge to return to his bed, but he’d already gotten out, already agreed and, most unfortunately, already signed the papers.
In truth, Ren didn't actually need to pack much at all for the trip, in fact all he would need to take with him would be a sentimental item and some clothes, which he could wear. Fenardos papers had assured that on site provisions, from clothing to food to hygiene facilities would all be provided, so Ren didn't need to worry about pretty much anything. Even so, his mother insisted he bring something with him to remember her when she wasn't around to visit.
Letting out a heavy groan Ren finally pulled himself together, fully and wholly, with a slap to the face. Staggering over to his drawers he pulled out his best long pants and shirt to put on for the day, he would need them to make a good first impression. Pulling himself into the shower he briefly set the showerhead to its hottest setting before turning it down just a notch. That was the way he liked it. He let himself soak for a moment before grabbing the soap and scrubbing himself down to the best of his ability.
After setting himself up as best he could, he put on his buttoned shirt and black leather jacket, pulled up his blue jeans and closed off the belt. Finally, after touching up his hair and putting on his socks he ran out of the room to greet his mother, who was already waiting for him on the couch. “Someone’s up early today.” She said, but her tone was subdued and the mood only barely scraped by into teasing. Doing his best to focus Ren moved to the kitchen and absentmindedly poured cereal into his bowl. “You know as well as I do why. I need to go say goodbye to my friends, I’ll be back in an hour. I swear.” Ren said as he wolfed down his “breakfast” with a spoon, not even bothering to add milk.
His mother watched on in slight bemusement, but only shook her head in the end. “One hour Ren, no later.” Ren felt bad to leave her so forlorn, but he knew she had pushed for this choice, and every moment doing nothing was another moment wasted. Even if the choice was ultimately his, it was her wish for him to do something he loved and, even more importantly, experience what this oppurtunity provided. Even so… shaking himself off and kicking on his shoes, quickly adjusting the straps in the process, Ren sped off to the beach to meet with his friends. Just as he passed the door Ren winked at his mom and grabbed something from the stand beside it in the process before closing the door behind him, looking back just in time to watch his mother smile before the door shut closed.
"Ren! Why'd you leave yesterday? Man you look like shit." Frizzy said as Ren finally closed in on them, panting heavily. Frizzys expression changed to excitement, followed by concern, before finally settling into a deep frown. Ren said nothing for a small while as he gasped for breath, only holding his hand up when Frizzy opened his mouth to speak. "I got chosen for… a special… program. The TFI themselves…. Selected me." Ren said, doing his best not to choke on his words. Frizzys mouth went wide, and Harley froze. Ryan was strangely still, as though he wasn't quite sure what to do. He looked surprised like the others, but also strangely expectant, as if he knew there might be more to it. Ren thought on that as he calmed himself from the run.
The group went silent, and for a short time the moment was only broken by the occasional sound of a soft wave before they broke out into whoops and hollers. "DUDE! THAT'S AWESOME! You accepted, right?" Frizzy said first, but Harley didn't want to be left out on the hype either. "Even I… couldn't get in." Harley did frown a little as he mentioned that, as though there might have been more to it, but once again didn't elaborate. Harley's father probably got involved with that if Ren had to guess, but they all knew Harley wasn't exactly physically fit either. Harley was always closed off, but his contemplative and unsure self from the past two days was unusual. His dad worked at the TFI, with all the activity around the TFI lately... it probably had something to do with that.
"Take it by the reins man, I believe in you." Ryan's sudden kind words gave Ren a small shock before he shook his head. "I did accept… but-" Ren hung his head then, not really feeling like he could finish the sentence. A single tear slowly crept its way down his cheek. Harley nodded in sombre acceptance, and even Ryan picked up on what was happening. Frizzy was a little slower, “But what? What is it?” Frizzy asked, a little concerned. “He’s got to go.” Ryan said before Ren could answer. “Don’t you?” He added at the end before looking Ren in the eyes pleadingly, as though he wanted it to be anything but true. The entire group turned to him and they sat in yet another lapse of silence before Frizzy spoke up, his voice struggling. “How long?”
Ren looked at him for a moment before answering, “Three years.” He said before looking at everyone from left to right, first Frizzy, Ryan, Harley. “Three years,” he said again, this time quieter and his gaze downturned once more. Ryan was the first to speak this time. “THREE YEARS!?” Ryan roared, stepping up off the ground. “Don’t you think we’ll miss you!? Don’t you think that’s a bit long? Why?” Ryan was angry, but more than that Ren knew they were hurt, and his words shook as he continued. Even so, Ren wouldn’t back down from his choice now. “I want to go, I have to. For my mum… for me.” Ryan scoffed at that, and even Frizzy threw Ren a scrutinising glare. Harley stayed silent. “For YOU!? Dude! That’s so fucked you know that?” Ryan announced, pointing at Ren as he did so. His words stung like fire.
“You know I wouldn’t leave if I had a choice!” Ren shot back, no longer willing to just be berated, but Frizzy was with Ryan too now. “You did have a choice!” Harley was inching back now, but Frizzy was just hurt. Ryan wasn’t nearly as complacent. “He’s right. You did have a choice.” Ryan paused, letting that comment sink in for a moment, and Ren recognised a level of truth behind it. He did have a choice. But that didn’t justify this, just because he wanted to live his life. He really did do it for his mom, and he wasn’t lying when he said he was doing it for himself either. He knew that his friends had every right to criticise him, but this wasn’t it, this was more than that. “I did have a choice, and I made it. Can’t you at least respect it?” Ren said, pushing back harder.
“Respect it?” Ryan spat. “What is there to respect besides your priorities? Because clearly, we aren’t one of them.” Ryan said, his glare piercing deep, and his words striking even deeper. Ryan stalked towards Ren now, but Ren was never one to back down. “You are one of my priorities! You all are! We were all going to split off at some point, this was going to happen eventually, wasn’t it? Why can’t we just leave it on a good note?” Ren said, his voice trailing off slowly but surely as he spoke. There was logic behind his words and request, even Frizzy slumped a little in thought at that, but Ryan just wasn’t taking it in.
“I DON’T CARE! Why didn’t you even tell us? You couldn’t have conferred with us first!?” With his final words, Ryan shoved Ren backwards. Ren was shocked, Ryan despite his undeniably poor temper, had never escalated an argument physically before. Ren shook his head, and even Frizzy thought this was too far. “Ryan! Come on man, that’s too far.” Frizzys attempt at peace was short-lived when Ryan quickly turned on him. “Don’t defend him! He left us man… and he didn’t even tell us.” Ryan said, but Ren just spat in frustration. He did tell them! That’s what he came to do!
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“I’m telling you right now!” Ren shouted at Ryan in futile desperation, but Ryan was quick to bare his teeth. “Why didn’t you tell us sooner!” Ryan yelled in defiance, standing at his full height in an attempt to intimidate Ren. “Because I was told yesterday!” Ren shouted in return, and to his credit stepping closer rather than further back. One must remember that Ren was shorter by Ryan, even if it wasn’t by a particularly significant amount. Ryan leaned in close and looked Ren in the eyes before he let spittle fly, “Liar! Why would they select you!? After just a day has passed since the event? Even Harley didn’t make it in! And now in a single day you go to the TFI!?”
Ryan had a point there, and everyone knew it, but Ren didn’t have that kind of connection! He never did, and they knew it! Even so, it was hard to deny the fact that it was strange he of all people had been randomly selected, not even a day after the event was dropped. The public hadn’t even known all the details before the event dropped! Actually, now that Ren thought about it, that was really strange too… Ryan took Ren’s sudden silence as confirmation and grunted. “See! He won’t even deny that.”
Frizzy looked downcast, and even Harley had to give in to Ryans logic. “I’m sorry Ren, I have to go…” Frizzy said, before slowly walking away. “Frizz…” Ren called out hoarsely, his throat sore from the shouting. But Frizzy ignored his quiet and desperate plea, and kept walking. “I’m sorry but… but I have to go too.” Harley said, slowly stepping away. “Harley! Come on, you know this isn’t right!” Ren called out, stronger this time. If anyone could see the truth behind the situation, it would be Harley. To Ren's dismay, Harley only shook his head, turned, and ran away. Harley never ran, no one in the group had ever seen him run. That day was the first day that Harley ran, even if it was with the awkward heavy strides he ran with.
“You brought this on yourself.” Ryan spat, before he too left. Ryan didn’t run, or speedily walk away, instead he walked slowly. With a long wide gait, and as Ren watched him go, he could have sworn that just as Ryan turned the corner, a single tear fell from his eye. Ren cried on his way back home, barely even managing an occasional light jog.
One thought crossed Ren’s mind as he went back home, This wasn’t supposed to happen. Even as Ren made his way to the door and greeted his mother. Even when Ren told her what had happened and kissed her, and loved her and expressed his sorrows. Even as she comforted him, encouraged him, and made him his favourite meal of butter chicken. That thought stuck with Ren, in a strange nagging kind of way. Even when he got home and said goodbye to his mother one last time, even when he made his way to an all black car with a door held open by a large, black suited man, he couldn’t help but think that one thought. This wasn’t the way it was supposed to go.
That thought nagged at Ren as he sat in the car, even as he dozed off asleep during the night drive. Even in his dream he thrashed and cried, so much so that several times the two men in the front debated on whether or not to wake him up or take him to a hospital. They kept catching "This wasn't supposed to happen," in his small and sad whispers and cries. Assuming it was just the nightmare of a young boy leaving home, they drove on.
Perhaps if Ren had been paying more attention to his surroundings when he had waved his mother goodbye, he would have seen Fenardo sitting on a bench across the street, his gaze just barely reaching above his pad. Perhaps he would have noticed the ugly smirk on his face, when he lowered that pad just a tad bit lower. Perhaps most importantly, Ren would have noticed Fenardo to the side also, looking back at himself seated on the bench with an indifferent expression. Watching.
****
In a TFI building, in a small office on the third floor, there was a wooden desk. It was nothing special, in fact it had almost nothing on it besides a nameplate and a single, black, fountain tip pen. Though the pen was in truth nothing special, its age and style were quite old, and might be surprising to find on someone's desk in the modern age. One might quickly shrug it off as a personal ornament, or a sentimental item. Perhaps in some respect, it was. The pen rattled slightly and there was a small rush of air before Fenardo appeared in the room. Fenardo glanced down at the nameplate that was lazily sat, tilted, on the desk and smiled.
Walking towards the back of the desk Fenardo pulled open a draw before reaching in and flicking through the papers stored within. After some small thumb movements and various amounts of paper pushing Fenardo pulled out one document with a satisfied grunt. Placing the document on the desk he took a seat in the black leatherback chair and retrieved the fountain tip pen from the desk. Placing it under his chin, he smiled before opening the document to the first page.
As he stared out into the window that night, he considered his day, and that early morning trip he had made. It had taken time to convince that boy, but it worked. The seeds were sown. His gaze settled on the unending horizon as the last light of the sun dipped lower, casting a shadow over the forestry and plains, as well as the title of the document on the desk and the nameplate. The document that read in bold letters on its big front page; Operation Triage, and the nameplate that read, “Karter.”
Fenardo turned his gaze back onto the document, bringing the fountain tipped pen to bear as he did so. Briefly he glanced at the detailings that graced the sides of the pen before tapping lightly on the side of the document. While Fenardo read, the tapping slowly became less and less frequent, and slowly Fenardo stopped smiling, his brow beginning to crease. By the time Fenardo had reached the last section of the document, he dropped his pen and opened his mouth in a wide ‘O’. In a frantic and sudden race Fenardo rushed to the door and opened it wide before freezing in shock.
Blood scattered across the floor of the room, and Fenardo fell to the floor, gurgling lightly and spasming, if only for a short moment. The door clicked closed as heavy footsteps fell across the floor. The man walked slowly and swiftly with long strides toward the desk before examining the document. "Always so predictable…" the man muttered as he picked up the fountain pen. Briefly the man reached into his pocket before producing a clean and folded white cloth. He spent a short moment polishing the pen before setting it down on the desk and closing the document. "Let's hope things are different this time." The man whispered as he set the document back into the drawer it had been in earlier, before dragging his hand across the chair. He turned slowly before looking out the window.
With one last longing gaze toward the stars, the man reached his hand up towards his collar, and pinched. A small soft click and a swish of air was all that remained before he was gone.
***
Ren wasn’t sure when, but he had woken up during the drive, probably because of a speed bump or two if he had to guess. Not that it really mattered much to him. Ren did his best to avoid the thought of his crumpled friend group, his lonely mother, and the broken life he now left behind. Not that he was particularly successful. Something inside Ren whispered to him that all of this was wrong, that none of this was supposed to happen, and yet it also felt right somehow… Ren shook his head in an attempt to clear his thoughts before looking out the window.
The moon shone brightly that night, against the well lit world below it looked dimmer than usual, but still bright. The landscape felt unnatural in a way, not because anything had changed particularly, although maybe Ren was just homesick, but the lighting seemed… off. It was as though there was a constant dim light coating everything, instead of true darkness. One could argue that was how it was supposed to look, but Ren decidedly came to the conclusion that the lighting was too flat and even, the shadows didn’t play through enough to be significant.
As Ren watched the world around him pass, he thought back again, despite his best efforts not to do so, to his friends and those he had left behind to grasp the opportunity he now had. Whether or not this was supposed to happen, Ren thought slowly, I am here now. Ren remembered his crying mother, how much she had wanted him to grow and succeed, even if it cost her only son and her only pastime. I will do it for you. Ren decided. I will show them that I did it for you, and I will show them that it was worth it. Ren wasn’t aware, but that night his fist grew tighter, his heart tightened and, perhaps most importantly, his resolve heightened. As he drifted off again that night, he dreamt not of past, but of future fame.