Do you ever feel like you’re having one of those days where everything just pushes you a little closer to throwing something at a wall? Where you just want to scream until your throat can’t scream anymore? Where just the slightest jolt will send you into a rage where you take the crap from your day and start shoving it down someone else’s throat?
Too far? Oh well, you get the point, at least.
At the moment, I was lugging my ass out of a dead night shift, following a crowd of drunk costumes who my manager had just thrown out. This in itself was fine, the usual. I’ve been getting used to working nights and sleeping during the day like a bat (I kinda like that comparison, actually). Nothing extreme had happened: waited on Naiads that were out late for their own reasons that I don’t care about, manage the bar while Cobalt used the bathroom (she returns the favor when she can, so it’s a fair trade), washed the dishes, helped Snapper throw out some aforementioned drunks, plaster a smile on my face to earn a tip or two, and luckily avoided any vomiting incidents. All in all, it was a decent evening, until those rat bastards decided to show up!
A group of over a dozen came stumbling into the tavern last minute, while I was literally preparing to trade off shifts. Then, they order the messiest shit that we serve, about six different drinks each, and then they have the fucking nerve to whistle and make some obscene suggestion every time I walked by! By the time I managed to leave, I was so tired that I considered just collapsing on the side of the road.
Now, take all that into consideration when you hear this next little bit. While passing a couple of these drunks fucks, one has the stones to cut me off while his buddies stood nearby. He reeked of one of our cheapest brands of liquor, whether it was on his breath or sloshed down his front I’ll leave for you to decide.
“Ain’t you sha pwetty little doll,” He slurred, stumbling as he stood in one spot. “You heada home, sweetheart?”
Great, one of these again. “I am, in fact,” I give myself a few points for not just knocking the guy aside the first second, because, ya know, I had a little good spirit remaining somehow.
“Howa ‘bout that, so em I,” A blush coated his weak, blue-tinted skin to a rather pathetic purple. “Howa ‘bout you join me?”
“I’ll pass,” I pushed past my straining teeth.
“Come on,” He pleaded. “If ya want, wona my buddies can join us, or two, if ya prefer.” Said buddies made dizzied chuckling noises and moved a little closer.
Fucking disgusting. What kind of messed up shit do these bastards get a kick from? Actually, I don’t want to know. “Again, I’ll pass.” I stepped around him, done with this shit.
“Don’t be like that,” He purred. “I bet I could convince ya~” At this, I felt a hand grab my ass.
If you haven’t caught on by now, I don’t take shit like that too kindly.
I pivoted on my foot, grabbed his wrist, pulled, and grabbed him by his tiny neck as he fell forward. I got within an inch of his nose, ignoring his stench of liquor. “Listen here, you little bitch. I have put up with too much shit tonight for my night to end with some drunk, dumbass pig grab any part of me. So if you make one more move, I’m to take you fucks and rip off your-”
For certain reasons, I have to skip over the next twenty seconds.
“-until they could be pulled out of your mouth, you damn motherfucker! Do. I. Make. Myself. Clear?” He nodded his skin a paler shade of baby blue. “Good.” I released him, and he dropped like a stone. I turned and proceeded back to my home, until I heard heavy footsteps charging at me. Fucking great! I’ve had enough of this!
I bent my knees and threw my elbow back and up, catching the throat of the guy trying to tackle me. He made a choked gasp and fell to his knees, clutching his throat.
The next was almost on me, but his movements were slowed due to his inebriation. I stepped aside, and he stumbled past. A quick kick to the back of his knees, pivot, and a well-placed backhand to his ear was enough for him to go down. Easy enough.
The last two, including the ass grabber, came at me as a pair. The buddy threw a clumsy punch. I parried at his wrist and drove my fist into his gut. The lug doubled over and emptied the contents of his stomach onto the street. The grabber got a hold of my sleeve, pulling it down my shoulder and making me fall backward. I slammed my arm against the side of his head, pulling him down so that he would fall below me. I fell on top of him, driving my elbow into his throat as we landed. Like the first assailant, he gurgled and went still.
I got up, shook out my clothes, and gave the grabber a swift quick in the gut so he ended up puking as well. Boiling, I pulled my sleeve back into place as I heard a rustle from an alleyway. I glanced over, but nobody as in sight. I sighed and walked on, leaving the drunks on the ground.
Great, somebody was watching. No need to help, you fucking cowards! I didn’t need it anyway, but just standing by and watching! Fucker! And they must have seen it! Well, add that pile to the ever-growing pile of shit that is the last few hours. Working overtime on the night shift, running across grabby creeps, and someone getting a peep at my shoulder is not exactly what I would deem an ideal evening!
I came to a pier overlooking a lake. I didn’t see much else as I walked straight off and landed in the cool water. I couldn't focus, so I just sunk until my feet touched the silt along the bottom. I marched across, my frustrated stomps sending up clouds behind me. Small schools of fish streaked by, and at one point, a creature with a few tentacles and flippers sticking it out of what I believe was its head. Weeds and other vegetation bloomed into forests, which I walked straight through.
Eventually, I felt the ground under my feet begin to slant upwards. Slowly, I continued upwards until my head broke the surface. Once I reached land, I flicked my wrist, causing the water to fly away from my body and leaving me dry. The city continued immediately from where it ended on the other as if the lake was nothing more than a hole in the road.
Now I noticed that dawn was seeping over the horizon. My trek through the lake had taken me longer than I thought. Well, shit. If my head was on straight, I could have just zipped right over the water, but no, I just had to be so pissed that I couldn’t concentrate, so I had to walk! Ugh! Whatever! Doesn’t matter now. Those fuckers are gone, so I should just forget about it for now.
A puddle in my path suddenly burst into a shower of droplets and mud.
Yeah, I’m still pissed.
I passed shops and homes throwing open their windows to greet the rising sun. Meanwhile, I’ll be closing my curtains to get some sleep. Woohoo. A couple and their three kids were bustling out of a bakery with boxes of goods in their arms. The baker must have been up as early as I was to be ready at this time. I strode past the window, taking a survey of the pastries in the windows. Huh. A lot of these come from the other tribes. How many places did he have to visit to learn how to make all of these? Maybe I’ll come by later to try-
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What I saw made me stop so fast that I stumbled. There, sitting on the baker’s counter, was the most delicious dessert ever to grace the land: Spew Algae Pod Puffs. The instant my eyes landed on them, my mouth started watering. My feet carried me through the door of their own volition. A bell chimed as I entered, alerting an older, male Naiad behind the counter, his hair coated with a fine dusting of flour. He wore an apron bearing different smears of cream and batter. He gave me a jovial smile as I approached.
“Hello there!” He said in a friendly greeting. “How may I help you today, young lady?”
I reached the counter and moved my hand towards the basket of pastries I was after. “Are these really Algae Puffs, as in Spew Algae Pod Puffs?”
He chuckled. “Why, yes they are! I’m surprised that you even know them by their full name.” He picked one up and held it up in the faint sunlight. The puff was a perfectly spherical ball of dough, excluding the flattened bottom, with a topping of light green cream that held small, juniper hued orbs. “These have never been popular among my customers, but my nephew and I are quite fond of them, so I always make a fresh batch in the morning. Can I take it that you're a fan as well?”
I nodded, staring at the puff in his hand hungrily. I felt a dribble of drool slid down my chin. Crap! I shook myself out of my stupor and wiped my hand across my face. Salvaging the rest of my dignity, I replied, “Yeah. They’re my favorite. I’ve never really had a hand in the kitchen, and hardly anyone likes them, so they’re hard to come across.”
“I have to agree, and we usually make to many so we end up with quite a few leftovers after we’ve had our fill,” He replaced the puff in the basket and pulled a paper sack from behind the counter. “How many would you like?
I checked the price tag dangling from the handle. 2 rue apiece! Holy fuck, my day just got a whole lot better! I could do with one or two…
“Eight, please!”
I’m weak.
The baker chuckled again. “Of course.” He began placing the puffs in a bag while I rifled through a pouch on my belt for the coins. I dug out sixteen rue and placed them on the counter. I took the bag from the baker as he swept the coins into a box and out of sight. “Please have a seat, if you care to enjoy the morning.” He pointed to an open door to his left that leads out onto a patio with a few tables and chairs facing the rising sun.
“I should really be getting home.”
“A purchase of at least half a dozen comes with a complimentary cup of Tangler-Wrangler tea as long as it’s a sit-down order.”
“A few minutes couldn’t hurt.” What can I say, Tangler-Wrangler tea is another one of my favorites. The baker told me he’d bring it out as soon as the tea was ready. I walked onto the patio, found a table in the far corner and took a seat. With excited fingers, I withdrew a puff and took a bite.
There are two main reasons for the Spew Algae Pod Puff’s lack of popularity. The first is the pods. The main ingredient in these puffs is Spew Pods, a type of algae that bursts like an over-inflated ball and splatters goop on anything within a three-foot radius. To get around this, you have to be careful to not burst any of the pods when you bite into the pastry. Saliva counteracts the pods’ spewing, so they become perfectly safe to eat when they’re in your mouth.
The second cause is their flavor; Spew Algae Pod Puffs are incomprehensibly bitter. As in you take a lime, squeeze the juice directly into your mouth, chomp down on the vegetables any child tries their best to avoid, and then multiply that about five times. That’s about the best description any normal person could come up with to accurately describe these puffs (An exaggeration, I know, but it paints a picture). At least, that’s what people tell me; I don’t see it. I love the way they taste and can’t get enough of it!
Either way, you can’t rush through a puff without carefully deconstructing it with every bite. I could spend hours just eating away, enjoying the feeling of rolling the pods against the roof of my mouth.
“Here you go, miss,” said the baker’s voice as he set down a steaming cup of Tangler-Wrangler tea (also known as one of, if not the most, bitter type of tea). I noticed he had a second cup and a bag of his own in his other hand. “Business is rather slow this time of day, so I hope you don’t mind if I join you?”
“Swur,” I replied through a stuffed mouth. “Takw wa seet.”
He did just that, groaning a little as lowered himself into the chair. “Sorry. I’ve been up since the moon was out preparing to open the shop.”
“Didn’t you mention a nephew earlier?” I asked. “Does he work here, or do you at least have someone else working here to help you?”
“Oh yes, he’s actually up before I am to get everything started,” I detected a note of pride as he said this. “He’s actually out on an errand for me right now. He’s a big help, but with school starting up again, it’ll be just me throughout the day. He’ll do everything he can to help, but I can’t keep up.” He looked at me and must have seen something in my expression. “Anyway, that’s enough ramblings from me. Someone your age that’s out this early must have a story of their own. Care to share?”
I felt bad for him, but I didn’t know how to help. Plus, going off of experience, if someone wants to change the subject like that, it would just upset him if I pushed on. “Not much to tell; I just came from my own job.”
“‘Just came from?’” He repeated. “My, you must have had started earlier than my nephew or I did. Where do you work exactly?”
“Deep Crawler Tavern.”
“The Deep Crawler?” Now his face showed concern mixed with his curiosity. “That place is a beacon for riff-raff and drunks! Why would someone your age take a job at a place like that?”
I shrugged. “I needed money, they had a position, here we are. It’s not bad if you know how to take care of yourself.”
“Despite that, you can’t even be old enough to work there! Are you even nineteen yet?”
“Sixteen,” I mumbled. “Snapper was having trouble finding a replacement for their last waitress, so he believed it when I faked my age.” Lines edged deeper into the baker’s face as he listened. “It’s not a problem. It’s a job like any other, so there’s nothing to worry about.” I took a sip of tea to have an excuse not to meet his eyes. Thinking ahead, I took a longer swing and drained over half the cup.
“Still, there have to be other options,” The baker kept pushing. “Why would your parents let you take such a job?”
‘Shut your mouth!’
‘I don’t give a shit for your opinion!’
‘Get the hell out of this house!’
“They aren’t really that concerned,” I replied honestly. “They know I can handle myself.” That was sort of the truth.
The baker couldn’t seem to comprehend what I had said. He passed a puff from one hand to the other, still being careful not to set off the algae’s natural defense. “Little miss, that is just not a suitable place for someone like yourself. Your parents should know that. You should talk to them about-”
“I should go now.” Rising from my chair, the remnants of the first puff vanished down my throat, with a wave of the remaining tea, in one, painful gulp. I began to walk away, reaching the patio railing before hesitating. “Thank you for the puffs.” I swung my legs over the railing and dropped into the alley. I strode off without a backward glance.
I heard the rustling of a cloak. I thought I saw the edge of a cloth disappear around the corner into the street. When I stepped out, no one was there. I disregarded this and just started on my way back.
My shit is none of his concern, so why the fuck did he keep poke, poke, poking away? Ugh, I’ve had enough of this! I should have just gone home in the first place! I know I’m still upset from earlier, but my head was pounding now. I’m so done with all this shit today. I moved the bag of puffs onto my shoulder. I’ll finish these later. If I eat them now, I’ll end up busting a pod.
Thankfully, the streets were still relatively empty this early. I barely had to see anyone else as I neared the inn I had been staying at for the last couple months. I wasn’t in the mood to pass the crusty owner, so I took the entrance behind the building. The molding staircase rattled as I climbed up to my door on the third floor. I took out my key, unlocked the door, and home sweet home.
A cot in the corner was underneath a discolored window. A cabinet was cramped next to the cot, one of the doors dangling from a single hinge. Underneath the cot was a sack in which I had stuffed all the belongings I don’t carry with me on a regular basis.
That’s it. This is my current home. Oh, the floor and walls are wooden. Now I’m done.
I flopped onto the mattress, groaning since I forgot to buy a blanket. Reaching up, I pulled the ratted rag that I called a curtain over the window. I took off my belt and let it drop to the floor with a thud. I turned onto my stomach, crossed my arms under my head, and eventually sunk into a thin slumber as sunlight streamed through the holes in the curtain.