“You’ll always be a monster. Thorns are all abominations.” The words echoed in my head as I studied the mark upon me. The white vines curling around my wrist and spiraling up my arm. The thorns growing more prominent the higher they reached. The mark finally stops at my heart, blooming into a menacing flower, thorns now all around its petals digging into my skin hard enough to draw blood. The white substance dripped slowly down my chest just to disappear. The trail leaves a permanent mark upon my skin. It’s been so hard… to keep my emotions in check. Every time I begin to feel the flower constricts around my heart, my own emotions suffocate me.
I normally keep the mark hidden as best as I can. Its writhing surface immediately gives away that it is not a simple tattoo. But tonight I had thought we would be alone. Just me and Alba. So I had focused more on dressing to impress her than on concealing the flower.
“Fleur let's go! You’re too slow.” Her words seemed to hold excitement and yet she seemed nervous. She was rushing up the hill to make it to our usual alcove and yet I was content to take my time and just enjoy the afternoon. A cool breeze drifting through the hills as the grass sways gently. I turn to see her studying me with concern on her face. “What are you looking at?”
“Nothing in particular, just enjoying how beautiful everything is.” As I finish I hold her gaze for a little longer. She seems to fidget under my attention, a blush growing on her face. As I make my way up the hill I slide my hand within hers and lace our fingers together. Smiling at her we continue our way to the alcove where we will be able to enjoy nature’s show. As we sit down among the trees with a spectacular view of the horizon I study her, fascinated by how the light causes her crimson hair to glow like fire. Set against the green of her dress I get lost in her as I have so many times before.
Not long after the sun begins to dip below the horizon, golden strands of light slowly bleed into red and orange as the light spills across the landscape. I lean over to rest my head upon her shoulder. She runs her fingers through my hair and I feel content. Like this is all I will ever need. I wrap my arms around her waist and squeeze her lightly, as if I can hold onto this moment forever. As her fingers run through my hair she begins to rub the back of my neck with her other hand working out all the stress. I feel my eyelids grow heavy as I relax into her.
We stay like this until almost all the light has faded and I can feel I am just on the edge of sleep. I begin to stir as I hear something rustling off in the woods behind us. I raise my head to search for the source of the noise when I feel her hand upon the side of my face pulling my gaze to her. Her eyes are wide and I can even feel her heart beating through her wrist so close to me. Her thumb strokes up and down my face as her gaze flits between my eyes and lips. As she leans toward me her lips part slightly, her gaze briefly flitting to my right so quickly that I’m not sure it actually happened. As our noses brush my eyes drift closed. I can feel her breath upon my face, the scent of grapes carried upon it.
As our lips finally meet I see light flicker through my closed eyes. Wait, there should only be moonlight left. As my eyes flutter open I can see a group clambering through the foliage behind us. My heart stutters when I see the distaste evident upon their faces. I turn back to look at Alba and find that she is already standing and has her arms crossed with a cool glare focused on me.
I feel the vines tighten. I look back at the quickly growing group and then back to her and I can feel the thorns digging deep. I open and close my hands and study the group. The man in front looks disheveled, his hair matted streaks of mud across his nose. Sweat beading on his forehead, his hands unsteady as he clutches a pair of shackles, fidgeting, his eyes flicker between Alba and I. Others are brandishing knives that look more useful in the kitchen than in a fight, many faces hidden within shadows cast by torch light. I turn back to Alba “how did they find this place?” I say. For a moment her cold gaze falters, behind it a look of triumph and then it’s back again. “How long did you think this could last? Did you think we could live happily ever after? That I would love you, that you’re just like everyone else?” Her words spark another constriction around my heart, the blood running down my chest a reminder of what she is talking about.
As the man who holds the shackles shuffles toward me I can see the disgust on his face. As if I have horns growing from my head and not a mark upon my arm. He slowly approaches me but seems to change his mind and hands the shackles to Alba instead. As I stare into her eyes I catch a glimpse behind her mask, but it’s not the Alba I’m used to. Her face is contorted in a snarl, her eyes full of disgust and hate, all directed at me. “I let you see the real me. I trusted you with my mark.”
“It is exactly that mark that proves you are a monster. You’ll always be a monster. All thorns are.” The venom in her voice sends quakes throughout my body. I can hear a faint ringing in my ears as the smell of ink begins to fill my nose blocking out all other smells. Vines begin sprouting all around me and the others. Through the ringing I can hear people screaming, maybe her as well but I’m not sure. I feel numb, almost empty. The vines continue to grow until all I can see is white and red. Red dripping from the thorns.
A numbness not unlike the cold began on the edge of my senses. A prickling sensation at my fingertips like the point of a needle just before it breaks the skin. The feeling slowly spreads to encompass my entire body, which I can not feel through the numbness but know is there nonetheless.
Opening my eyes I see dense foliage covered in snow and a white sky. My thoughts seem to stream by at a normal pace but when I try to bring anything to the forefront of my mind , like a cat swatting at string the thought is yanked away. As I try to stand my legs don't seem to respond, placing both palms on the ground I shove as hard as I can. Slowly my legs react allowing me to rest upon my knees as I look around me.
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Snow covers the ground and forest extends in all directions.While the trees gently sway with the wind there is no other sound. My feet crunching snow breaks the silence as I finally get them beneath me, my muscles straining, like they aren't meant for this. With the fog covering my mind all I can think of is warmth. Walking will be somewhat difficult if my muscles keep protesting the way they are, with this in mind I carefully take one step and then another. The tension does not seem to leave them, as much as I simply get used to it. “Cold. I can’t feel anything.”
“it’s hypothermia”
“No no you’re fine, there is no issue.”
“ So cold you are going to die.”
“Die? She’s already dead.”
The silence of the forest was only broken by the loud shoving sound of my feet dragging through the snow, pushing it in front of me instead of crushing it underneath. The slight breeze flowing around me but never really touching. The thought of warmth keeps me going as I push forward.
Trudging through the snow, the sky never seems to change, making time hard to tell. It could have been only moments ago that I awoke or days. Time blurs together making the journey feel like a standstill as snow covered trees seem to all be the same.
The monotony is broken when I hear the soft chirping of a bird. An innocent sound full of wonder. The thought hits me as I stop and turn toward the source, a small bird is perched upon a rock just beside me. The soft blue is out of place in the stark white of this frozen forest and I simply stare at the creature waiting to see what it will do next.
Hopping up and down the bird cocks it head to the side, studying me I presume. Approaching cautiously I hold my hand out my index finger extended horizontally toward the little ball of blue. Stopping just before the bird I leave my finger close enough for her to make the first move.
Nuzzling my finger she ruffles her feathers. I take this as acceptance and beggin trancing her back up and down feeling the soft plumage beneath my finger. She feels so warm and it brings a smile to my face.
Warmth. I slowly cup the beauty in the palm of my hands bringing her up to my cheek. Her soft warmth permeates through me as I stand there just taking it in. The soft thump thump of her little heart.
The cold everywhere and this one small piece of warmth. Suddenly the warmth is not close enough and all I can think of is how I need to escape the cold. I sink my teeth into the ball of heat and tear ravenously letting the pulsing warmth slide down my throat sticky and chewy as I devor the heat.
Heat now coursing inside me I look down at the mangled mess in my hands of torn flesh and strewn feathers
“Monster” echoes inside my head as I beggin retching , disgusted with my own actions.
“Oh fuck, oh fuck” The numbness seems to have receded some and in its place has come shivering.
Standing up, cold sweat covers me, the shivering getting worse. Stumbling, I make my way out of the clearing trying to put as much distance between me and the grotesque mass I have left lying on the snow.
“You’ll always be a monster” Echos around me no matter how far through the forest I go.
“It would be so easy to just stop, lie down.”
“Soft snow. Just for a little.”
“No!” I have to keep moving. Slowly trudging through snow the wind whispers “abomination” to me.
I can’t keep focusing on this. I have to get back. I have to know. See with my own eyes what happened.
My travel becomes once again monotonous as I pass trees and snow with barely any distinction between any one direction. The cold grips me slowly as I move. Claiming my toes first and then working its way up my legs oh so slowly, as if it enjoys creating the prickling sensation one inch at a time.
The numbness has finally returned stinging every inch of me when I stumble falling face first snow rushing to fill my mouth and nose. I roll to see that my legs did not simply fail but had tripped over something. Peering out from beneath the snow is what looks like dirt.
Reaching out I find that it is in fact rusted metal stuck within a thick packing of snow. My mind once again struggling to react I focus on trying to pry the metal loose. It seems to almost be ice but worrying it long enough it begins to crack and shift as I pull more and more up.
With one last burst it all comes free. The metal beneath the snow apparently being a ring. Large enough to fit around someone's wrist very similar to a shackle only missing the chain and second ring.
Clutching the shackle I turn around to find a clearing full of White vines creating the most bizarre foliage. What looks like red flowers are spread around the vines in a random manner unlike anything else within the forest.
The clearing seems to be calling me and I drop the shackle as I shuffle as best I can toward the vines. What initially appeared to be flowers is now indescribable, my stomach recoiling at the sight.
Chunks of meat are spread chaotically across the vines stuck to viscous thorns. Some pieces as small as my pinky others as large as my chest.
Stumbling further in I fell to my knees my body convulsing violently. My hands spasm and I look up to find a chunk right in front of me. Though this one is staring back at me, eyes dead but full of rage. Her mouth stuck open even after the mutilation a partial grimace still plastered on her face. I vomit again the hot liquid eating into the snow and ice.
Looking up I study Alba’s face. It is hard to learn anything from the mangled mess. While it is recognizable as a face not much is left untouched. Flesh has been ripped and shredded, thorns having hooking in and spread the meat like the opening of a flower.
“Monster, Abomination, Freak!”
“Shit. Alba! Fuck.” In the wake of disgust, anger rises within me. This bloody mess. This nightmare, all because of a stupid mark.
“I’m not a monster.” The garden of shredded meat responded with silence, dead and mangled bodies my only company.