Everyone knew that Claud had a fixation with safety and staying alive. Granted, Dia didn’t know the reason behind this particular fixation, but now that Claud had clarified his position, everyone simply overlooked it in their own way. For instance, Schwarz was currently pouring out a second round of drinks for everyone, creating a merry fizzling sound that tickled Dia’s ears.
At the same time, Farah busied herself with some quiet conversation between herself, Risti and Nero, which made sense, considering that these three people had the most access to restricted information.
Dia turned her attention to Lily and Claud, but the two of them were currently talking about a crown or something. Since she didn’t quite know what the actual conversation topic was — maybe Lily was extoling the benefits of wearing a crown or something — Dia decided not to join their little conversation.
As a rule of thumb, any conversation that didn’t revolve around the subject of looking like a certain idol or person had to be good conversation, but that didn’t mean she had the wherewithal to join any discussion.
Still…
Dia looked around the venue a few times, before getting out of her seat. Being in Moon Mansion conferred a sense of safety, especially since today’s demonstration of her home’s anti-spatial defences proved that nothing could beat it in terms of security.
The only thing that bugged her was the loneliness she felt. Dia didn’t need to think too hard about why she felt so lonely — her time with Aunt Lumine had been one of the few rare times when she didn’t need to care about her so-called double identity. The Verdant Interrogator, Norn, had also provided her with an environment where she could speak her mind and not be worried about her disguise.
Everything simply led up to one conclusion — Dia didn’t want to live a life full of lies and disguises. However, she had dug herself in too deeply; Dia couldn’t see a way out that didn’t require a shattering of their illusions.
After another sip from her cup, Dia decided to not think about things too hard. Besides, if everyone was unlucky, the entire sovereignty would become the basecamp for the Moon Emissaries. Once that happened, no one would give a hoot about who was who and who wasn’t who, making her life so much easier. From how things seemed to be escalating from an inter-dukedom war to a war for destiny or whatever, Dia could vaguely tell that this year’s theme was conflict escalation.
“A penny for your thoughts.”
“Weren’t you pouring out drinks for the others?” Dia looked back at Schwarz with a raised eyebrow.
“It is the responsibility of all bartenders to talk to their troubled customers,” Schwarz replied. “So, my patron, what ails you on this fine morning?”
“Just troubled in general,” Dia replied. “All this talk about Moon Emissaries and Bearers of Destiny have made me lose hope. My survival forecast tells me that we are all screwed, and should therefore just lie down and wait for our deaths.”
“That pessimistic?” Schwarz asked, his bartender persona abruptly broken. “Ahem. I mean, that’s indeed a problem, yes. However, it would be sad if you were to give up at this juncture. Didn’t Nero say it himself? Us mana-users are simply weaker imitations of the Bearers of Destiny, when we look at the fabric of fate. Sure, we might not have overpowered Absolute skills, but we can definitely influence how our own story turns out.”
“What do you suggest, then?” Dia asked.
“Have a drink and live for tomorrow instead. You aren’t the kind to think and plan long-term,” Schwarz replied. “We’re all a family of misfits here. There’s me, and Farah for long-term planning, so don’t stress yourself out. Just train us well.”
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“To be honest, I’d rather train Lily, who has more talent in the sword than the two of you combined.”
“Claud’s already seduced your star pupil.” Schwarz paused. “And by that, I mean in the art of fighting dirty. Lily now has small bombs and other little cheap tricks in her arsenal, ready to unleash on anyone who is idiotic enough to challenge her to an honest fight.”
“What?”
“Yeah. And the two of them have been getting closer and closer too,” Schwarz noted. “I’m wondering if I should encourage the two of them. I think they’re cute together, but I’m going to start muttering some curses if I see the two of them flirt without restraint.”
“Flirt, huh?” Dia tilted her head. “Have they got that far?”
“Who knows? I only see them in the morning and at night, but Lily has been dropping by Claud’s room recently,” said Schwarz. “Everyone’s aware of it, naturally, but no one’s going to say anything about it.”
“…Is she going to come for my morning practices now?” Dia wondered out loud.
“Good question.” Schwarz chuckled. “And that’s it for interesting things that happened while the two of you were in Farah County. Risti and I just spend the afternoons reading intelligence reports and grunting at the appropriate timings.”
“Wait, you came here just to tell me these things?” Dia asked.
“Yeah, you seemed rather lonely,” Schwarz replied. “One of the best ways to make you feel integrated once more is to help you get up to speed with any changes, socially speaking.”
“What if there’s…a secret? That because I’m hiding something, I feel…alienated from the others?” Dia asked, choosing her questions carefully.
“Who doesn’t have a secret?” Schwarz asked. “For instance, none of you know my full name. I don’t make a point of talking about it either. Is it important? Maybe. Maybe not. How about Risti? Why is she, the daughter of the Folder Association’s president, here? She doesn’t tell us, nor do we ask. How about Claud? Have you wondered about his evasiveness at times?”
Dia considered those words, and then shook her head.
“Exactly,” Schwarz replied. “Some things seem really important to us, and rightfully so. But to the others, they might just seem like a footnote. Maybe I’m a prince of a long-destroyed empire, and Claud is the last survivor of the Third Godsfall. But none of that bothers you, right? It’s all hypothetical, especially since it’s hard to fathom what secrets our friends and family might be hiding.”
He took out a bottle and offered it to Dia.
“I’m good, thanks,” Dia replied.
“Pity.” Schwarz uncorked the bottle, and a nice fizzy sound filled the air. After taking a gulp, he said, “Point is, when you worry about your secrets, you tend to be wasting your time. No one thinks that hard. The world doesn’t revolve around you. What matters is that you aren’t lying, and that you have the courage to speak up when these secrets are critical to the situation. In this case, however, my full name isn’t going to do anything, so…”
His voice trailed off.
Dia thought for a moment, and nodded. Did the truth about her identity matter? It probably did. And yet, no one would think hard about it. Whether she was Dia the bodyguard or Princess Dia would only matter under a specific set of circumstances, so…
“Don’t force yourself this directly,” said Schwarz. “I’m just offering a suggestion. What the mind wants, the heart might not be able to do.”
“Why did you even say all that, then?”
“You seem to be alienating yourself pointlessly, so I’m telling you that there isn’t really a point to it. No one’s going to mind much, unless you’re keeping a secret that goes along the lines of ‘I killed your dad and your mum’. If it’s nothing harmful or something they need to know…what’s wrong with keeping it?”
The bartender licked his lips. “I’m extra-chatty today. Must be because you two came back. It’s nice to have more people in the house.”
“Doesn’t Nero—”
“Nero’s been taking all my drinks,” Schwarz replied. “He also hogs the bar and pays top money to nab every single extra-strong brew from my hands.”
“Isn’t that great?”
“It is, but everyone else wants their booze too. A few fights nearly broke out since some of my patrons couldn’t get their hands on my brews.”
“Wow. You should work on increasing supply. Or make an appeal to Nero. I think he’ll understand.”
“It’s hard to say no to that kid, though. That earnest expression when he asks for a drink…it makes the artisan spirit in me burn.” Schwarz folded his arms. “It is what it is, I guess. But I can’t really say no to my customers, until push comes to shove and I’m outta booze.”
“Maybe you can limit the number of bottles per customer,” Dia suggested.
“But they’ll just wheedle me for one more bottle. Bah.” Schwarz sighed. “Ah well. I’ll think about it. Maybe I won’t need to even think about it. After all, the Moon Emissaries are heading towards the sovereignty capital. If we’re unlucky, one of them might flatten the city while passing by.”
“There’s one of them passing by?”
“Maybe. I’m not too sure either.” The bartender shrugged. “Come on, let’s return to the others. Lunch should be ready or something.”