Cairn blinked—confused for a moment—before the implication really hit him. Then his eyes widened and his face began to flush.

“Your Grace, I’m not sure what you’re talking about…” Cairn’s eyes cast downward at his desk, and his voice quieted down to a mumble. “In this body?”

“You know what I’m asking, Cairn. Reincarnation. When did you reincarnate into that body?” Ailn clarified his question.

Cairn reflexively picked up his quill as if he suddenly had something interesting to write, and started inking loops and blots onto what was probably expensive parchment. Ailn stayed silent, and the tension hung between them.

It was strange. Being put on the spot like this made Cairn feel like a young man again.

Forty-seven years. That’s how long he’d lived in this body. At this point, it was his past life that felt like a distant dream. He was a young man when he’d died back then, and he couldn’t help but feel like he suffered from arrested development as a result.

Once upon a time he worked the cash register. He stocked shelves, bagged up groceries, and took whatever abuse customers threw at him when they had a bad day. Then he took the lectures from his managers too.

In that life, his parents never looked his way. They weren’t bad to him, but they didn’t have any particular love for him. He had too many siblings, and he wasn’t one of the ones that stood out.

Don’t bother. You’re not one of the talented ones. Just work hard and keep your head down. They never said it out loud, but their attitude said it all.

One of the only clear memories he had from his past life was his father’s disgruntlement, and his mother’s worried face. He’d mentioned he might save up so he could afford schooling.

‘Is that really such a wise choice?’

‘You could be using that time to earn money.’

‘Why waste your time? I won’t stop you, but you’ll give up on it, anyway.’

And he did give up on it. After a few weeks of stressed, indignant anger, putting in the extra time at work to show just how determined he was—he got sick from overworking. Wasting away in bed, the righteous storm of anger vanished, and so did the wind in his sails.

It was futile, just like they said. And he never brought it up again.

But in this world he was considered smart. He was born with the mental acuity of an adult after all. So he came in exceptionally bright, fast to speak, fast to write, and his new parents never hesitated to tell him how special he was. They held the highest hopes for him, and Cairn always contended with the ‘lie’ of his own intelligence.

No matter that he met their expectations, he still felt like an impostor. He worked harder because of it, but that only continued to convince him that deep down he wasn’t very bright at all.

He was thrilled when he entered as an apprentice to the court physician. It was the first time he felt that he could validate his parents’ unyielding belief in him. And once he saw his path in this world, one that could be paved purely with sincerity and hard work, he committed to it.

The reward for his hard work was respect he’d never earned in his original world. But he always knew it was built on a foundation of the love his parents gave him unconditionally.

Now, just like Zhuangzi once dreamed that he was a butterfly, Cairn felt like he might wake any moment. From one dream into the next, a physician with a distant memory of being a cashier—afraid that he was a cashier living one long, absurd fantasy that he was a physician.

It was like Ailn’s question might pull him out of the dream.

“... Who are you?” Cairn asked finally, without looking up. “You’re like me?”

“I’m a reincarnator, yes,” Ailn said.

“Yesterday, when Ailn eum-Creid was attacked—the real Ailn must have died,” Cairn’s brows narrowed in realization. “You’ve only been in that body since yesterday. And that’s why you came back to life…”

“Does it ever happen any other way?” Ailn asked.

“I was born in this body,” Cairn replied. “And I’ve lived to be a middle aged man, with an esteemed court position and everything. What gave it away?”

“Come on, ‘doc.’ There were tons of little tells. No one else here even knows what a handshake is,” Ailn turned over his hand, emphasizing the web of his palm. “But I knew for sure when you filled in details about Moses yourself. I never said anything about a riverbank.”

“...Seriously?” Cairn cursed under his breath, then looked up at Ailn. “So, what’s the deal? Were you just feeling so lonely you had to expose me?”

“Let’s just say I’ve got an important mission and I’m not out to get you. What’re you so worried about? There an issue with being found out?” Ailn asked.

“A huge issue.”

“Tell me.”

“There’s a taboo here in the empire,” Cairn said. “The devils from another world. The devils with the flashing red eyes. Most people nowadays treat it as nonsense—but men have been put to death for it before.”

“Flashing red eyes…” Ailn spoke softly to himself. “Like ruby eyes?”

“...I’ve heard something like that, sure,” Cairn replied, seeming struck by it. “A long time ago.”

“Can you control your eyes? Do they ever come out when you don’t want them to?” Ailn asked.

“As a kid they sometimes came out, yeah.” Cairn leaned back in his wooden chair like it was a rocker, spinning his quill around his finger. “My dad always told me to hide them. My mom, bless her, used to bend over backwards trying to cover for me when I slipped up. Say some smoke got into my eye, things like that.”

“No one ever tried to get you in trouble?” Ailn asked.

“They were good people of the duchy who did their jobs. My mom was a scribe. Dad was a knight. Modesty kept them from having any real enemies,” Cairn said. “Even if some of their friends looked at me funny, so long as I learned to control my eyes they never had proof.”

Maybe that’s why he cared about this world more than the last, despite its dire circumstances. Cairn stared up at the ceiling wistfully, almost tipping backward completely in his chair before righting himself.

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His parents were always on his side. What more could you ask for? It was one thing that they always treated him as a child sent from heaven, brilliant and meant for greatness. But they never wavered, even when they saw his eyes.

It couldn’t have been easy, given how devout they were. By cultural taboo, all of Cairn’s seeming talent might’ve been seen as tricks of the devil. How fast he learned, the way he talked beyond his years—seeming to know things from a world they’d never heard of—and the way his eyes flashed red when he grew emotional… It wouldn’t have been strange to be scared by all these things.

But they insisted. He was gifted, not cursed, and his eyes were no exception, even if circumstances forced Cairn to hide them. His mother had always called them ‘beautiful, splendid rubies.’ He’d always just thought of it as the type of silly, loving thing a mother would say.

Yet here was Ailn, calling them the same thing: ruby eyes.

“I’ve got good news for you, Cairn. What if I told you that you’d never have to worry about your eyes being discovered again?” Ailn asked.

“I’d say you were full of it,” Cairn squinted with more than a little doubt. “Even now, I’ve got to watch myself.”

“I can take your ruby eyes away. In fact, I need to take your ruby eyes away,” Ailn pointed at Cairn’s eyes, which made him pull back a bit.

“Why?” Cairn asked, his squint getting even narrower. Anything that had to do with his eyes made him suspicious. Especially if someone had something positive to say about them.

“Would you believe me if I said it was for the sake of this world?” Ailn asked.

“Maybe. Probably not,” Cairn said.

“Look.” Ailn closed his eyes.

And when he opened them again, they flashed emerald. Cairn had never seen anything like them—not even his own eyes glittered that brightly.

He understood, then, what ruby eyes really meant. His own eyes had a soft glint when they could be seen; as a consequence, they looked like they were flashing. But Ailn’s eyes truly looked like emeralds—it almost felt like you could carve into his irises and pull them out as actual gems.

Cairn wondered if somewhere out there, someone had eyes like his own yet just as resplendent as Ailn’s—eyes that shone with such luster they looked as if they were actual rubies.

“You… can really take them away?” Cairn asked. He felt hesitant.

“I can.”

“Do you need them?”

“I do.”

By the situation alone, Cairn had no real reason to trust Ailn. But something in those emerald eyes was convincing, as if they were imbued with a message of divinity. And perhaps some small part of him remembered his mother, who always believed in his own ruby eyes.

Which made it quite bittersweet, actually.

“Okay,” Cairn said. “I believe you. What do you need me to do?”

“Just look me in the eye,” Ailn said.

The two made eye contact, and Cairn’s jeweled eyes seemed to manifest in response to Ailn’s.

Half a second later, a small red flash passed from Cairn’s to Ailn’s eyes—but only Ailn saw the flash.

Cairn, for his part, felt a sudden chill. It was like he took a gulp of ice cold water. And for the first time in his life, Cairn could no longer manifest his ruby eyes. He felt exhausted.

“I should be grateful.” Cairn closed his eyes, apologizing in his mind to his mother. Then he opened them again. “Thank you. I mean it.”

“Having regrets?” Ailn asked. With a blink, his eyes turned back to their normal blue.

“Something like that.”

Cairn noticed Ailn wincing and fiddling with his sleeve, as if he was looking for a watch that wasn’t there. Now that they could speak frankly, he was curious about something.

“Were you asking about Sophie just to throw me off?” Cairn asked.

“Half and half,” Ailn said. “I’ve got a mission, and then I’ve got the problem right in front of me. That is, someone killed this body and I need to figure out who. Bastard child looking for revenge is as good a reason as any, isn’t it?”

“You think she did it?” Cairn asked, surprised. “But how—”

He stopped mid-sentence, as the implications of their prior conversation suddenly hit him.

“I think it’s plausible someone in her position would be resentful, at least.” Ailn gestured to his own face before walking over to one of the stone shelves and absentmindedly picked up a potted plant. “But the real question is: did she inherit holy aura?”

Ailn gave Cairn a questioning glance.

“I wouldn’t know,” Cairn said, shaking his head. “It’s not the type of thing you can detect.”

“You’re saying there’s no way to know unless they use it?” Ailn said, arching an eyebrow.

“At least as far as I know,” Cairn shrugged. “Besides, why would she kill you instead of Renea or Sigurd?”

“It doesn’t make sense to me, either. But she may have been the only one in any position to kill Ailn—she’s the maid that found the body,” ‘Ailn’ said.

“Really, now… ” Cairn’s expression clouded over. “I suppose that does make her rather suspicious.”

“Cairn, how many people knew about Celine’s infidelity?” Ailn asked.

Cairn stiffened in response. Even though the secret was known between the two of them, it was one he hated to acknowledge out loud. Not simply because it was such a terrible scandal, but because he’d admired the late Saintess.

Speaking of her like this after her death was painful.

“Almost no one,” Cairn said. “The core family, and anyone who tended to Celine’s health.”

“The knights weren’t suspicious?” Ailn asked. “A girl appears from nowhere and sleeps in the family chambers?”

“Sophie slept with the servants until after Lady Renea was born,” Cairn replied. “Then, people assumed she was taken in as a playmate—like I said earlier.”

“Who’s the father?” Ailn asked.

“No idea. You think I’d go asking around? That’s crazy. I doubt even Ennieux knows,” Cairn said.

Ailn raised an eyebrow.

“Not even her sister, huh?” Ailn said, in a somewhat skeptical tone.

“They weren’t close,” Cairn said. “Celine was a wonderful Saintess, and kind to everyone in the duchy. But she always seemed a little aloof around her family.”

“What about her husband?” Ailn asked.

“Henry was a nice guy,” Cairn said, blinking a few times at the memory. “But he was a kept man. I’m sure he was upset. I doubt he could have done anything about it.”

“Did they have a good relationship, otherwise?” Ailn asked.

“No. Not really,” Cairn admitted. “Her marriage to Henry was political—his family owns the orichalcum mines out west. But I don’t know if she could respect a man who wasn’t risking his life to protect the duchy like her. Every time I saw the two of them together, the only word that came to mind was ‘polite.’”

“Yeah? Mind if I ask you how they died?” Ailn asked.

“...Henry died of what I’m guessing was a stroke or heart attack,” Cairn said. “It was a sudden death, the kind that would’ve been beyond the understanding of this world’s medical science.”

“And Celine?” Ailn asked.

“Celine… died in an attack while riding a carriage to the capital,” Cairn said, uncomfortably. “The knights keep pretty mum about it, honestly. You’d be better off asking Kylian.”

“Fair enough,” Ailn said, placing the plant back on the shelf and walking over to Cairn’s desk. “I appreciate your cooperation Cairn. And if you keep one more secret for me, I’ll make sure to keep yours.”

Ailn took out a final leaf of parchment and placed it on Cairn’s desk.

“‘Amidst the terrible cold and loneliness, it was half a stock of midnight oak, that found its way to light her hearth that ni—’ Uh, what is this?” Cairn looked up at Ailn dubiously.

“It’s from chapter three of Winter is Coming,” Ailn winced. “I accidentally ripped it out when I took all those other pages. Kylian’s gonna have a heart attack if he realizes I ruined Ennieux’s favorite book.”

Cairn blanched, noticing the well-wrinkled fold at the corner of the page. Ailn was already on his way out of his office when he called back.

“You keep my secret and I’ll keep yours.”

“Mine’s not even a problem anymore, dammit,” Cairn said, unconsciously rubbing at his eye “Don’t get me caught up in anything.”

Ailn said nothing, leaving the room with a backward wave of his hand.

With the room empty, and his ruby eyes taken, Cairn felt in the silence the melancholy that had already been present. He thought of his parents again, and decided to go visit them. He’d have to get them something nice.