“Make way, or I’ll cut my way through the lot of you!” Will cried out, both hands drawing on the long grip of his estoc.

It was an empty threat unless Will was actually a monster in hiding. His meter long sword was ramrod straight with edges blunter than a father’s disappointment. Its tip—sharper than a mother-in-law’s tongue—was made for piercing through armor. With half a dozen men closing in on all sides, the length would be more hindrance than help as soon as someone grappled him.

If she let him fight, he would die. Daphne imagined Will face down on the street with blood drenching his armor and the cruciform hilt of the just out of reach estoc. It was a scene with all the critical attributes that artists loved to immortalize—tragedy, honor, a dead hero. The dead, and this is critical, cannot talk. This means artists cannot be disabused of inconvenient things like what really happened.

No, the outcome of this fight was as sure as the sunrise. Perhaps if the other guard had returned with her carriage already and Will had someone to guard his back things would be different.

“Why are you here?” Daphne asked the men, voice calm as an ocean in a painting of an insanely calm ocean.

Their leader, a middle-aged man with a great, scruffy beard brandished his knife at her. “For you.”

Not for her things, but for her. This was no mere robbery. “Are you … kidnapping me?” Daphne asked, keeping the excitement out of her words. Men were rarely so polite about it. Usually it involved a lot more shouting, or trying to sneak aphrodisiacs into her drink.

Will tensed, and pointed his sword at the man, keeping his own body between Daphne and the bandits.

“Right you are,” the leader said with a wide, toothy grin. He spat to the side before raising a brow at Will. “Move or be moved, boy. I won’t ask twice.”

“Step aside, Will,” Daphne said.

Will’s muscles tensed. “My lady?”

Daphne moved past him and beamed at the bandits. “Lead the way.”

“Lady Daphne, you can’t!” her maid said, tugging at the ruffled, slashed sleeves of her dress. “Your father—”

Will stepped in front of her again.

Their leader blinked. “What?”

“Lead the way,” Daphne said, enunciating each word slowly and clearly. A lifetime dealing with arrogant young masters had gifted her with great longsuffering. They could be particularly slow at times grasping the true meaning behind her words, like when they were being rejected.

“You … want to go with us?” the bandit said, sharing a look with his companions.

“I trust you don’t want to kill me,” Daphne said. If that was their goal, they would have just attacked immediately.

“No,” the bandit said. “We want to ransom you.”

“My father will pay handsomely when he hears about this,” Daphne said, before gesturing to Will. “You’ll have to let my servant go however.”

The bandit nodded amicably. “Gotta leave someone alive to carry the message. Course, we don’t need two people for that.”

“Well, you’ll have to bring my maid along too,” Daphne said. She felt her maid’s grip tightened.

“What for?”

“I’m a lady. I have standards.”

“Fine, we’ll bring the other girl along too,” he said.

“Lady Daph—” Will began, but she did not let him finish.

Daphne placed a finger against his lips. Shush, Will. Your senior is speaking,” she said, before turning to the bandits.“So are we agreed?”

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“You don’t have to do this,” Will said in a whisper. “I … I can hold them off for a while. You can make a run for it.”

“Run?” Daphne quirked her brow. “In these heels?”

“You could take them off,” Will said.

Daphne gasped at his sacrilegious suggestion. “I would rather die,” she said vehemently. At least she’d look good while doing it! Besides, if these men were so confident as to steal away a woman of her station, surely they were successful in their profession. Who knows what treasures would be stashed away in their hideout? Maybe she’d even find a lost scripture to jumpstart her cultivation!

“I beg you to reconsider!” her maid said.

“You worry too much. It is only a matter of time before I am rescued. The heavens have ordained it,” Daphne said. And when she was rescued, she would know where their treasures were hidden. What was a little danger in the face of such rewards? “Will, put your sword down and send word to my father. I order it.”

He gnashed his teeth, but complied. “As you say, my lady.”

She stepped towards the bandits. Her ears picked up on the soft pitter-patter of wooden heels on cobblestone as her maid followed behind sullenly. All that mattered was that a servant obeyed.

“So what now?” she asked.

“Usually this is the part where you scream or struggle, and I threaten you,” the bandit said. “‘Don’t make a peep or I’ll leave a red smile on your throat!’ That kind of thing.

“We can skip all that I think.”

He nodded. “Right, we make our getaway now then. This way,” he said.

“Do you have a carriage prepared?” Daphne asked.

“No?” the bandit said.

Daphne tisked. “How inconsiderate of you. You should correct that the next time you kidnap a highborn lady. How are you supposed to make your getaway on foot?”

“We have horses nearby,” the bandit said. He took off his cloak and draped it over her, while another of his men did the same for her maid. When she looked at him in askance, he explained, “You draw too many eyes to you in that dress.”

“Thank you,” Daphne said. “That is the intent.” It was always nice when a man appreciated her clothes.

“Can’t we go any faster?” another man said in an irking, nasal tone.

Daphne glared at the offending voice. “A lady does not run.”

He swore. “This is the last time I’m takin’ a job like this ‘un.”

“After this, we won’t ever have to,” the leader said.

Ah, so they were hired by someone, Daphne thought. Careless of them to be speaking so freely when they did not even have the gold in hand yet. Unfortunately for them, there was no pill for regret.

To their credit, not only did they actually have horses and ones with swift, strong legs. Certainly not a breed just any peasant could afford. Surely these marked these men as masters in the dao of theft! Though there were enough horses for all of them, to her surprise half the men melted back into the shadows and the silence. Daphne’s hands were tied up with a coarse piece of rope, but they did not secure it very well.

The leader helped her mount, then sat behind her. Someone did the same for her maid.

“Hang on tight,” he said, the warmth of his breath tickling her ear.

Being on a horse, Daphne decided, was far preferable to riding in a carriage. She was used to looking down on others from the summit of a mountain or atop her flying sword. This didn’t quite capture the same magic, but it was better than nothing for now.

They rode the horses hard, encountering no resistance along the way. Once they were safely beyond the furthest possible reach of any array formations protecting the town, they switched to their spare horses, but kept up their breakneck pace. The bandit’s hideout was deep within the woods, suitably far from any settlement so as to not disturb their closed door cultivation.

“Here we are,” the bandit leader said, helping her off the horse and leading her into the cabin.

Her maid, the silly girl, was sobbing. What was there to cry about when the heavens had delivered this opportunity to them? Soon, untold treasures would be within her grasp!

“Slow down,” the beaded leader said, perplexed that she seemed more eager than him to get indoors. “I thought ladies didn’t run?”

“We don’t,” Daphne said. “But when the occasion calls for it, we hurry.”

It was a cozy little abode and well-lived in. One of the men, made distinct by his crooked nose, went to coax the hearth back to life, while the youngest of them, about Daphne’s age if she had to guess, barred the door. Her velvet box carrying the rings had been placed on the table.

“While we’re waiting, do you mind if I try some of these on?” Daphne asked as the rope which bound her wrists was removed. “I hadn’t finished fitting them all.”

The men shared a look. “Do you even understand what situation you’re in?” the youngest one asked in that awful, weasely voice of his.

“You’re waiting for my parents to pay my ransom,” Daphne said without blinking. “Doesn’t mean I have to spend that time bored.”

The men glanced at each other, before Crooked Nose shrugged. “What can it hurt, Jared? Let her entertain herself.”

“No names,” Weasel Voice hissed.

“Do you know how many bloody Jareds there are in this region?” the leader said with a hint of amusement. “They’d have to sift through every fifth man to find you.”

“So,” Daphne asked, trying on each ring in turn, and holding it up against the moonlight, “do you do this often? The kidnapping I mean? You seem quite prepared.”

The leader let his shoulders slump. “Gotta make a living. You seem awfully relaxed for a woman who’s just been abducted. Lots of experience getting kidnapped?”

“In a manner of speaking,” Daphne said. What had she to fear from these men? All they sought was wealth. Far more dangerous were those demonic cultivators who wished to use this divine body of hers as a cauldron.

They were already a vast improvement over the usual toad lusting after swan meat.