Flash!

Bang!

For a brief moment the small form of Heather Radnor glowed brighter than anything else in sight, briefly blinding everyone looking at her, or in her vague direction. At the same moment there was a thunderous explosion which deafened and disorientated almost everyone in the room. As I blinked away the spots dancing before my eyes, my ears were ringing almost enough to drown the sounds of battle. The clash of metal upon metal, something wooden being splintered. A male voice cried out as metal struck flagstones for the second time that day. Along with a body. Then a female voice giggled. The male voice laughed.

Finally able to see again I found Leonard Cowden lying on his back on the floor. Heather sitting on his chest, her gaze meeting his. Greg standing over them, sword and splintered shield in hand. He’d been in Heather’s shadow when the flash went off and had apparently been spared its effects. The shield must have taken a glancing blow before Heather did her… thing. Cowden’s sword was discarded a couple of meters away on the floor.

Heather and Cowden laughed again, in unison, as if sharing some secret joke.

“Heather, dear heart,” Amanda said, dismounting the stage and heading over. “What are you doing?”

“He was all scared and angry,” Was the reply. “So I’m filling his head with light and happiness.” I winced involuntarily.

“Please stop it,” I said. “That’s… that’s not the right way to deal with him. Or anyone, for that matter.”

“It’s not hurting him,” Heather said, “and it’s not like you or anyone else could have done anything without hurting him. I’m saving everyone pain.”

“Drake’s right,” Amanda said, “You’re controlling his mind, which is wrong. You have to stop. Right now.”

“I’m…” Heather began to speak but was interrupted by someone else.

“Heather Tamsin Radnor! You do as you are told, and stop what you’re doing this second!” The speaker was Rombe, dwarfem, more compact than Amanda, with a far more stony complexion and more luxurious facial hair.

“Aunty Anna? But…!”

“No buts young lady! You get down from that large man this instant and do as Mx and Mrs Dunn tell you!” Heather’s response was to make the groan of the forever put upon teenager, but she looked away from Cowden’s eyes and climbed off of him as he began to stir.

Another Rombe joined Anna, her husband, Findlay Drummond. The couple had been travelling with the caravan, but keeping to themselves. Findlay hefted a bearded axe from its place on his belt as Cowden sat up and looked around, perplexed. But his anger did seem to have gone from his face.

“I’m sorry I don’t… I…” He looked confused and left his sentence unfinished for a few moments before hanging his head in shame. “I saw the Lord.” He said meekly. “He told me that we are the chosen. That we were brought here to save and shape this wild untamed world. That the gods of this world are our hosts and we are their guests. We should respect that and them. Love and serve them as they love and serve us, and we would love and serve Him.” Leonard Cowden took a deep breath, standing and sheathing his sword, before continuing. “He told me that I had been misled in my last life upon Earth. Led astray onto a path that only served myself and those that led me. But that doesn’t matter. That this is a chance to make a new life for myself. Become a person better suited to serve Him, and all of us.” He bowed to the stage.

“I should go,” he said, “I have much to think on.” He turned to leave.

“Stay and break bread with us,” Amanda called out to his back. He turned and smiled back at her.

“I would like that,” he said, “But I better go.”

With him gone all eyes fell on Heather.

“I said that I made him happy. I didn’t make him smart or give him a vision or anything.” She explained. “Just happy. Everything else is on him.”

With the main business of the meeting over I adjourned with slightly more than a score of people into a side room which was either a meeting room or intended for smaller informal meals. I took my place at the head of the table without actually meaning to. Everyone else took seats around the table, and one deliberately placed herself at the far end from me. I’d left Amanda, Murdo, and the rest of my ‘cadre’ outside while I talked with my new shadowy friends. We each had a bio-plastic ‘tray’ with something resembling pasta and garlic bread; in my case an approximation of carbonara.

We went around the table introducing ourselves. I noticed Laura Bonner, the woman who Esmond Sergeant had assaulted, was among us. Still sporting an impressive black eye. Everyone had some role within the castle, from militia to kitchen staff. It was the ashen welf at the foot of the table, the last to introduce herself, who threw everything slightly off for me.

“I’m Deanna Knight,” she said, her voice carrying a tone that was both “On Earth I was a manager at Kinnettles Castle. I have a degree in business. But now it appears that I am Lady Manchwark, Delimira Sagado. I also believe that this is my castle and that you are my husband.”

My brain freewheeled for a couple of seconds, although it felt more like hours, while my brain tried to catch up and compile a response. Thankfully Amanda was outside and unable to distract me with quips, elbows to the ribs, or call me “Tiger”. I decided to see if I had an alliance with her. I did not. Merle went even further down in my appreciation than I had thought possible.

{Alliance formed with Lady Manchwark, Delimira Sagado [[Ashen] Tares] [[Nobel] Assassin(10)]}

“Excellent!” I said at long last. “I had to exile the Seneschal. Can I put you in charge of finding a replacement?” As way of a reply she gave a monosyllabic grunt and subtle nod. “Which neatly brings me to the reason I’ve brought you all here tonight.”

Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

“There’s been a murrrderrr?” The jocular speaker, who rolled his r’s like an engine with a faulty cam-shaft, had only just told me his name and to my shame I couldn’t remember it.

“Many,” I said. “Who here actually has assassin as their class?” I put my hand up and so did everyone else in the room. Eventually. The people who were hesitant hadn’t figured out how to query the interface and didn’t know what their class was. Still others thought this was some sort of sting. That they would be judged upon the deeds of the bodies they now dwelt in.

I shared what I had learnt about forming alliances and using the Cronephere. It turned out that everyone was allied to me, but not me to them. Merle the earl really was a piece of work. I quickly corrected the oversight. Thankfully nobody else had a body in their inventories.

“Skipingham castle cloaks a covert cabal of killers,” Deanna said aloud after I brought up the question of what we should do collectively. “Can we countenance such calamitous conspiracy or in caution consider contrasting choices? Concealment? Conflict? Or court culpability in the challenge of conquering our current circumstance?” We all looked at each other in silence.

“What she said,” the jokey guy said.

“I’m opposed to violence, which puts conflict off of the table,” I said. “I don’t know who you’d propose fighting. So the choice is between concealment or coming out into the open to use our skills as assassins to help improve things. Skills intended only to kill other people.” I looked around the table. “Who here actually wants to kill anyone?” To my surprise one hand went up.

“I’ve been a doormat my entire life,” Laura Bonner said, “And I’m sick of it. If killing people means nobody will walk all over me again, then tell me who I have to kill.”

“Okay,” I exhaled, “But you don’t actually haver to kill anyone Laura.”

“Yesterday I was a waitress, today I’m a servant. People are still going to treat me like shit.”

“Who or what would you rather be?“ Laura was taken aback by my question. “This is a new world. Literally a new you.” I said, “I can give you permission to be whoever and whatever you want to be. If you think you need it.”

Laura sat back in her chair and closed her eyes. We sat in silence as she obviously wrestled with herself. After a few moments Deanna went to say something, but I raised my hand and forefinger, as if to silence her. To my complete surprise she held her tongue. I nodded in thanks. My face still didn’t like to smile. A few minutes more Laura spoke at long last.

“I’d like to travel. See the world. The furthest I’ve ever travelled was to Aberdeen.”

“Okay. You can join in with the couriers. Go and tell Leslie that you’re volunteering for courier work. If she has any problems with that she can talk to me about it.”

“Thank you,” Laura smiled and then exclaimed. “My class just changed to courier!”

{…[Assassin(4) [Courier]]…}

Checking my alliance with her confirmed it. Then I realised what had happened.

“They’re cover identities!” I could have face palmed. “The classes that everyone has other than assassin, are cover identities for your roles as assassins. As master of this assassin’s guild I can reassign your covers to help you better infiltrate and reach your targets.”

“Yeah, but I now know how to ride, and move quickly,” Laura said. “I didn’t before.”

“Oh this is so O.P.” I said.

“I’m definitely Lady Manchwark, and Merle Sagado’s wife,” Deanna said, “That’s not a cover”.

“How can you be so sure?”.

“Because one of the earliest notifications I got this morning was to tell me that my husband, Merle Sagado, was being unfaithful to me with Dwongruinelyn Drakeshield.”

“Oh,” I said.

“Okay dragging this meeting kicking and screaming back on topic. All those in favour of keeping the existence of us assassins a secret, raise your hands.” Including myself slightly less than half raised their hands. I noted all eleven of us.

“Those in favour in revealing our existence, raise your hands.” Including Deanna, a total of eight hands were raised. Leaving four abstaining.

“So, we’re keeping our existence a secret for now. If something comes up, come to Deanna or I and tell us that a matter of Shade Efficiency Employee Sensitivity has come up.”

I adjourned the meeting and led Deanna to meet with Amanda and company, dreading every possible exchange.

I spent the next hour watching Amanda and Deanna, heads together, talking in hushed tones. Every once in a while they’d glance over at me and then laugh.

Leslie briefed me on the dozens of volunteers she’d found. Tomorrow was going to be a busy day for her and Murdo so they headed off to bed. Separately, mind you.

Much later, after Amanda had tired me out and had probably given Deanna multiple notifications regarding my fidelity, we lay snuggled together in one of Merle’s over sized beds. My big spoon to her small. Thankfully Deanna had her own room, so we didn’t need to share. That would have been awkward. Merle seemed to have multiple beds and bedrooms around the castle. I’m guessing Lady Manchwark would have received multiple notification of her husband’s infidelity even before the disaster that had brought the people of Earth to Lusfell.

I suddenly knew, without any need for a personal lore check, that Merle had a breeding kink. It didn’t help that, in my youth, I’d the ambition to sow as much wild oats as I could manage. Prove my masculinity and quiet the nagging suspicion that I wasn’t, deep down, a man at all. I was only hampered by the fact that I cared too much for any woman I slept with to risk impregnating them, other than accidentally., The one time I did get a lover pregnant I dropped everything and turned my life around 180 degrees to be with and support her. Eventually marrying her. Hello Amanda.

Any guy that appealed to me appealed to the wrong part of my identity. Which never helped. Neither did the fact that the words Non-Binary and Genderfluid hadn’t been invented then. And bisexual didn’t mean quite the same thing.

The fact that Merle’s gender presentation shifted in cycle with my gender identity, which shifted in cycle with my attraction to other people; my bi-cycle, was now a thing I had to deal with too. The fact that I could now find a guy attractive and shift to a feminine form. That I could risk, getting pregnant? I didn’t know if that was even possible yet the very idea was intensely appealing. The desire to experiment too immediate to resist. Yet I did resist. Turning my attention back to Amanda.

“She’s too young for you,” Amanda said out of nowhere.

“Who?”

“Deanna, she’s in her twenties. She’s basically half your age.”

“I wasn’t…”

“No? Well you should be. She’s hot. She’s Merle’s wife. I mean you can. You have my permission.” Amanda rolled over to face me.

“You’re my wife,” I objected. We’d been practising ethical non-monogamy for years. Practising but never actually gotten around to the practicalities. We have a girlfriend down in Dundee, May Swann, but neither of us was sure whose girlfriend she was and the pandemic had kyboshed anything happening. And now? I suddenly feared for her safety.

“Swanmae?” Amanda asked, using our girlfriend’s ‘nickname’. I mean it’s literally just her name.

“Yeah”

“Oh I was thinking about her too. She’ll be fine. You’re only attracted to women who can kick your arse and look after themselves. We’ll find her, bring her up here to keep you company while I’m away. She can join your harem.”

“I’m not starting a harem!”

“You are. This is going to be a harem isekai. It is! Inevitable!” She giggled.

I kissed her to shut her up.

“Oh, are you ready for round four already? I am blessed this night!”