There is no chapter 1 here.

“Hey, you!”

“Yeah, you!”

“Don’t think I din’t see dat camment on da page before dis one.”

“Why ya break da law and camment? Dere an’t no story here to camment on. What ya readin now is all just a figment of ya imagination. It’s all in ya head.”

“What? Ya say iz not in ya head and I’m talkin to ya right now?”

“Are ya crazy? I’m not eben here. How can I talk to ya when I ain’t here? Are ya an idjiot?”

“Ya clearly gon and lost ya mind.”

A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

“Ya probably tought ya real smart wid dat camment by tryna pretend dere ain’t no comments dere. But we all kno da truth. Ya lyin ta yaself. Ya just in denial. I know it may be hard on ya, but look, dere really ain’t no ribbiting story in hyere to find. No matta how much ya want dere to be one, ya just lyin to yaself by readin on.”

“What waz dat? Ya think deres something deeper hyere dat ya need ta have a 200 IQ big brain to read between da lines to find da nonexistent story? Look, ya really tinkin too had if that’s da conclusion ya came ta. Just stap readin and whateva ya do don’t press dat next chapta button. Dere an’t no moar chapters afta this. That button is broken, trust me. Eben if ya click it a hundred times ya not gonna suddenly strike gold.”

“Only great disappointment lies beyond pressin that button. Look, I know it looks like it’s actib but ya really not gonna get any sort of fulfillment outta pressin it. Just stop now while ya ahead ya idjiot.”

“Wait! Stoo! Whatcha doing? Why is ya cursor movin down dere. Wait! What da hell are ya doin random mobile usa? When da hell did ya even get here? I was talkin to da idjiot pc usas readin dis for some reason. Stop! Freeze! Slide ya hand off da button and no one gotta get hurt. I swear ta god, if you press dat but-