“Now, then, let’s get some grub! My treat!” Bargamus suddenly exclaimed after my economics lesson was done.
My reaction was delayed, “... What?”
“Bet yer hungry again after all that walkin’ an’ such, eh?” Bargamus asked, “Th’ guild here also serves meals an’ drinks fer adventurers and the occasional guest. Ye an’ Lily save us a good seat, I’m gonna put in an order an’ check in on Siggins.”
“W-Wait, then for my food, let me give you enough for—”
At the mention of food, not just my stomach, but Lily’s small one too, growled impatiently. I hadn’t noticed until then, but my Goblin’s food baby belly had gone down surprisingly quick during our walk.
“You’re hungry again after all that, Lily?” I asked, “Man, I got my work cut out for me. A-Anyway, let me pay for the food for myself and Lily here.”
Bargamus gave a hearty chuckle, “Keep it an’ save it fer somethin’ more worthwhile. It was my fault for takin’ ye out there so quick without checkin’ whether ye ate yet, so let me do that much for ye. ‘Sides, I wan’ t’ take this chance t’ talk t’ ye on some things, if ye don’ mind?”
I shook my head, “Not at all. I’ve been meaning to ask you some things while we eat, too.”
Bargamus waved a hand, “Of course, of course. Now, go get us a seat an’ get comfortable with Lily. I’ll be back in a bit.”
With that, we obliged and took a table that was sitting in a corner, a good area to ask some of my more concerning questions without attracting the attention of unwanted passersby. Then again, the guild was bustling with adventurers and patrons drinking and blabbering the night away. It may be a bit more difficult to talk over the noise than to not let anyone overhear us.
“This place is pretty packed, eh, Lily? Are you doing okay there?” I asked her as she sat next to me.
“Lily … okay,” she answered in Goblin, still mispronouncing her name as ‘Gigi.’
“You’ll probably like the food here better than what you’ve had up to now, but I’ll get you more Monsters to eat when I can,” I said while taking one of Lily’s small arms and flexing it before patting the bicep, “You’ve got a healthy appetite, so I gotta get you lots to eat so you can grow big and strong.”
I flexed my own arm to demonstrate, though compared to the adventurers here, especially Bargamus, my ‘muscle’ wasn’t all that impressive.
Lily imitated my gesture and flexed her own arm tighter with a furrowed brow, “Strong … yes. Lily will grow strong. Lily want to be strong.”
I patted Lily’s head, “You were so strong back there, Lily, and you will only get even stronger from here. I promise you, I’ll help you be the strongest Goblin you can be.”
Lily took the hand that was patting her head and held it in both of her own. Her hands were so small compared to mine, I could cover most of both of them with just one of my own. She felt her way around my palm, pressing different parts with her small thumbs, while she stared at it with a calm, but determined gaze.
“Lily … will grow strong … for family … for Grrriiiisssss,” she muttered in her breath.
This might be a bad time to mention with this serious air, but I can’t help but think how adorable Lily looked playing with my hand like this. Yes, Lily, I’ll help you grow super strong … and super cute, I thought, fantasizing the future ahead of me a little.
Sometime later, Bargamus returned and took a seat across from us with three mugs. Two of the liquids were a light amber color, while one was darker and redder, and they were all filled to the brim.
“Sorry fer th’ wait. Figured I’d get us some drinks t’ celebrate th’ occasion,” he said as he set the two light amber drinks in front of me and Lily.
“Uh … I’m not at the drinking age yet, and Lily’s not even close to it,” I pointed out.
“Don’ know what th’ age is where yer from, but it is 15 years old ‘round these parts,” Bargamus informed, “Don’ worry, though, those ales are on th’ weaker side in alcohol. Bitter, but not so much like ye will get hammered wit’ a single drink, unless yer a lightweight. I wouldn’ even call ‘em proper drinks.”
Just to make sure, I used [Appraisal] on both our drinks, and like Bargamus said, the alcohol content was quite low, and there wasn’t any poison spiked in either of them. Well … I’d be a little more comfortable if I had my first drink with Dad, but this is as close as I’ll get under these circumstances, I guess, I thought before looking over at Lily and nodding to her that it was okay.
“A toast,” Bargamus started while raising his mug, and I had Lily copy what I did as we held up our own drinks, “T’ th’ success of tamin’ yer first Companion, an’ walkin’ out of a hard-fought battle together. May the journeys ahead be good an’ memorable t’ th’ two o’ ye and others that join ye ‘long th’ way. Cheers.”
“Cheers.”
“... Cheers,” Lily followed after me in Goblin.
We clinked our mugs and took our first sips. Though the alcohol volume was quite low in our ales, it was bitter enough for Lily and I to scrunch our faces in slight disgust. The sight was apparently funny enough for Bargamus to bust a gut at our expense. Figures, this really is one of those ‘acquired tastes.’ I don’t see myself drinking this very often. Even Lily’s gagging at the taste, I thought.
I then asked one of the nearest servers for two of whatever juice they might have. They quickly came back with two glasses of orange juice—I used [Appraisal] on both to check for strange additives—and we felt much more refreshed after using the sweet, acidic drink to wash away the alcohol’s bitter aftertaste. Lily enjoyed it enough to try and down the whole glass, making a mess as liquid dribbled from her chin and onto her shirt.
“So … Augustus, I’d like to ask a few things first, if you don’t mind,” I said while wiping Lily’s face with a napkin, remembering Bargamus’ false name he was using.
“Fire away, but keep it slow this time,” he answered, referring to how I buried him with my own questions earlier.
“First off, you really don’t like Omar and how he’s running things around here as king, do you?” I asked straight up.
“I won’ deny that fact,” he answered honestly before taking a drink.
“So, how’d you end up taking the job of being my Tamer tutor?”
Bargamus shrugged, “Simple. Omar put in a request t’ th’ guild here fer th’ finest adventurers wit’ specific Jobs at th’ last minute. I was th’ best Tamer nearby, so th’ guildmaster scouted me n’ a couple others. We accepted th’ quest, an’ here we are.”
“Was the pay really good enough to make you overlook your dislike of Omar, or was there some other reason you accepted? Surely, if you explained you didn’t like him to such an extent, the guild would have just found the next best Tamer to take your place, right?” I asked.
“Ye’d be right in that, boy, an’ under any other circumstances, I’d pretend that request never existed, but … I have me own reasons t’ take ‘tis opportunity, reasons far beyond what money could buy,” he answered while looking down, his face stern.
It didn’t look like Bargamus was willing to go into details. I decided to play it safe and not press him further on it.
“Are you familiar with the situation me and the others are in right now? Why Omar had tutors assigned to us?” I asked, making sure not to spill too much about me and my class being from another world.
He nodded, “Aye, he told us himself after we took on th’ quest. We would not have known anythin’ about ye lads if we didn’.”
“And what are your thoughts to his approach? To send people like us onto the battlefield, fighting for his kingdom in this war?” I asked with a raised brow.
Bargamus took a moment to drink his alcohol before answering, “T’ me? ‘Tis nothin’ more than kidnappin’ pups an’ throwin’ them in th’ lion’s den with expectations of victory. Even if ye trained ‘em a little, it doesn’ change th’ fact they’re bein’ forced t’ do somethin’ terrifyin’ in an unfamiliar place. One er two other adventurers who took this on felt th’ same, but th’ rest could care less and was only in it fer th’ good money. It baffles me how Humans handle businesses like this.”
Oh my god … someone finally gets it! This is so big, I think I’m gonna cry tears of joy! I yelled in my mind. Sure, Bargamus could be lying out of his ass and just saying all that to lower my guard. Nonetheless, I don’t know why, but there was something in my gut telling me that I could believe in this Demon, that he was telling the truth. Maybe it was the effects of my [Skeptic] skill kicking in?
“Now, I’ll be turnin’ that question back t’ ye, boy” Bargamus then said, “How do ye feel, getting’ pulled out here all of a sudden an’ asked t’ go t’ war?”
“I want no part of this, of course,” I answered honestly, while looking down at my orange juice, “Just like you said, Omar basically kidnapped us to fight this battle for him, and we can’t get back home until we defeat the Demon King and win the war. Easier said than done, but even if we pulled it off, how do we even know he’ll keep his word and send us back? How did he get us here in the first place? What are the conditions to bring someone here and send them back? Why did this kingdom go into war with the Demons in the first place? These questions were never brought up because Rosalina and Marcus helped Omar sweet-talk everyone into accepting everything right away. It’s like I’m the only one who’s aware of what’s going on. Even if I can’t get back, I’d rather keep on living on my own than fight for someone or something when I don’t know all the details.
“That’s why … when an opportunity arises, I plan on escaping Omar’s clutches. I will abandon this war, and find some other way to live in this world with Lily at my side. If I’m going to die in this world, I’d rather do it on my own terms and not because I was forced into a corner by someone else’s hand,” I declared before downing the rest of my juice to quench my thirst.
“It seems ye have a good idea on what ye want t’ do,” Bargamus said, “An’ just for curiosity’s sake, what’s yer take on Demons in general? How do ye see th’ forces this kingdom is fightin’ against?”
“Omar was hinting that Demons are all ‘evil’ plenty enough, but those royals aren’t total saints, either,” I answered while fixing my glasses, “As a bystander to this war, I have no reason to trust his claims without some evidence to back them up. Hell, even if a Demon were to explain to me in person the situation on their side, I’d take that with as much grain of salt as I would for the Humans for the same reason. Until I get sufficient evidence that confirms either sides’, or even neither of the sides’ claims, then I can only take the ‘facts’ they give me as provisional and subject to change.
“To be unbiased, objective, and open-minded while considering every possibility is my way of dealing with controversies and conspiracies. Until an absolute truth is brought to light, I will take what intel I can get and carve my own path towards the truth with it. If neither side is willing to make a constructive argument and find some way to achieve full cooperation, then I want no part in any of it. That’s basically what this war is all about, a last resort to claim which side is ‘right’ by means of victory, the means of which I would never rely for confirmation of facts with one-hundred-percent certainty, especially when the lives of many, Human, Demon, or otherwise, are at stake.”
This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.
Bargamus stared at me wide-eyed, speechless with a half-full mug in hand. Lily only sat there looking confused.
I felt exasperated and rubbed my eyes under my glasses, “Sorry, I might have preached too much. I guess I was so frustrated with everything happening, I needed to vent about this to someone. It’s like everyone in our group has been put under a spell, and I feel like no one would listen to me if I told them. You can take my side of things however you like, Augustus, I’m sorry you had to see me like this.”
Other than my pets, Betsy and Leslie, Tamy was the only human being who would let me talk her ear off about my frustrations with other people’s shortcomings in logic and reasoning. While I was grateful to have her around as a friend, that left me a little too used to being open about my opinions and wanting to speak them out, at least in certain circumstances. I hadn’t gotten the chance to speak with her much about our situation yet, and Bargamus seemed willing enough to temporarily take her place. I didn’t know why I was willing to open up this much with him, or even if it was safe. Maybe the exhaustion and buzz of alcohol from earlier had conspired together to make me have this lapse in judgement.
“No, Chris … on th’ contrary, I should be th’ one thankin’ ye,” Bargamus said, “Fer someone still so young, ye have a special perspective on things that many of us old geezers lack, despite our experiences. If more Humans … no, more people had yer way o’ thinkin’, then I’m certain relations between countries would be much friendlier.”
“I only know this much because of the many wars that were recorded in my birthplace’s history, and I had to question those legitimacies since they’re usually written by the victors of such conflicts. Even now, back home, we aren’t even close to coming to peace with, let alone understanding and respecting, each other’s differences …” And I don’t think we ever will, not before the moment we all cease to exist, I said in my mind before shrugging, “Almost nobody really listens to my boring drawl, anyway, and arguing with people who aren’t willing to listen makes my efforts pointless. That’s why I’m better off just living how I like to live, not minding anyone’s business other than my own, unless something of benefit to me appears in my sight. I’m not too ashamed of this set of morals to admit that much.”
“I can get behind that. Ah, our food’s finally ’ere,” Bargamus pointed out.
A waitress arrived with a large platter of something fried. I say ‘something,’ because they were bigger than any sort of food I was used to on Earth. Big enough for just one ‘piece’ to take up a whole plate. I could make out some to be legs, but the other parts were alien to me. It was something that looked to give me a heart attack after eating just one.
I was intimidated by the sheer size of it, but Lily had a waterfall of drool dripping from her mouth at the sight.
“Lily, don’t openly drool like that. It’s very rude,” I lightly scolded while wiping Lily’s face with a napkin.
“This is Fried Marshhopper,” Bargamus explained, “Common monsters in th’ marshlands near here. Bigger and stronger than regular Bloodhounds, but still manageable t’ take out if yer dealin’ wit’ only one. Fried up like this, they have a great juicy texture that pairs well with the crispy outer shell.”
“… Are Marshhoppers insect-type monsters?” I asked tentatively.
“Indeed, they are!”
After looking at them closely, I could see the legs in particular resembling an insect I was familiar with back home. So … I’m basically eating a giant grasshopper? I thought.
“I’m gonna give Siggins a few pieces t’ eat. Let’s discuss how t’ make our report fer Omar when I get back. Ye two go ahead an’ dig in, an’ order anythin’ else ye may like. My treat,” Bargamus said as he took a plate of a few pieces and walked out of the guild.
Lily didn’t hesitate and started eating a large piece with her bare hands. Her beady black eyes glimmered upon discovering a tasty flavor unfamiliar to her.
“… Could I get a salad for a side, please? And more orange juice?” I asked the nearest waitress. It looked like I was going to be here for a while, so I needed something to balance out the nutrition.
~~
Despite my apprehensions, the Fried Marshhopper was surprisingly delicious. It was almost like chicken, but much juicier. Still, after only one piece, a leg at that, plus a side of salad and juice, I couldn’t eat anymore. Bargamus and Lily ended up eating most of the meat, and not only did the latter gain an increase in stats, especially in Speed, she also acquired a new skill, [Jump] LV 1. I could already imagine what that skill could do without even looking at the description.
As we ate, Bargamus and I tried to come up with a story of what happened today. In the end, we came up with the pack of Bloodhounds suddenly ambushing us after I successfully tamed Lily, and Bargamus riding to my rescue and taking them all down. He let Lily take the spoils and eat all the Bloodhounds to help make her grow stronger, but that was about the only truth to this story. When I found out the [Counterfeit] skill could also be applied to my Companions during our talk, I made sure Lily’s status was doctored to just show the levels, skills, and stats she gained from eating the Bloodhounds and the Marshhopper. If having your Companion eat enemy monsters differed that much vs defeating them like Bargamus said, then what I had set up should be believable enough.
We then discussed what I wanted to do next as a Tamer. If I wanted to escape Omar’s clutches with minimal mistakes, I felt some additional manpower, or should I say ‘Monster-power,’ would probably be a good thing to have. Getting Lily stronger while we were at it would be ideal, too. From that, Bargamus borrowed a parchment and charcoal pencil, wrote some stuff down while skimming over the guild’s quest board, and handed me a written list of Monsters that appear outside the castle city’s walls. Thanks to my [World Language Comprehension], I was able to understand his writing without a hitch. This skill will definitely be useful for me to get around when I escape.
“Look over this list t’night and let me know what catches yer eye t’morrow. Searchin’ fer that monster will be yer next assignment,” he said.
Once we made our plans for tomorrow, we made our way back to the castle. I never told Bargamus I had [Counterfeit] and other skills, but I did request that he hold onto my reward money for the time being so the others wouldn’t get suspicious. He was already aware of what I want to do, so I thought I’d ask him to do that much, and he accepted without complaint. If he’s this open with me despite our differences in race … maybe I should think about telling him everything someday, I thought while carrying Lily on my shoulders again.
By the time we finally made it back to the castle grounds, it was quite dark, and I was surprised to see that someone was waiting for us at the gates. I was even more surprised when I saw who it was.
“Chris! I’m so happy you made it back in one piece!” Rachel exclaimed.
“Yeah, man, where have you been?! And what is that on your shoulders?!” Max asked.
I was so shocked by their greeting that I spaced out a bit before answering, “Um, sorry … we got a little held up. Oh, and this is my new Companion I tamed today, Lily the Goblin. Say hello, Lily.”
“... Hell … ohhh,” she greeted awkwardly in Landrew while waving her hand, following my directions.
“That is so cool! Did you put that flower in her hair, too?! She looks so pretty with it!” Rachel exclaimed.
“I’m guessing you didn’t have lunch like we did since you left, right? You gotta be starving,” Max said before pointing a thumb back to the castle, “Everyone else already ate dinner, but we made sure to put aside some helpings for when you got back. If Lily’s hungry, I bet we could get the cooks to whip her up something, too. You gotta tell us what happened out there over some food.”
“Uh …” I trailed off, thinking whether or not to tell them we already ate, until I heard a familiar growl from Lily. Just as I was realizing how much of a glutton she was, I also realized that she had given me a way out, “… Sure, Lily’s quite hungry after today, right?”
“Mm!” Lily wholeheartedly agreed while nodding.
I seriously hope this is only temporary, or we’re going to need to get a ton of Monsters just to satisfy her hunger.
“Oh, Augustus,” I said, remembering he and Siggins were still with us.
Bargamus waved a hand, “Don’ worry about me. Go get yer food and relax a little, ye earned it. I’ll make my report to th’ king. Remember what we agreed on, and if I don’ get fired after tonight, I’ll see ye same time tomorrow.”
I nodded in confirmation, “Looking forward to it! Thanks for all your help today, Augustus, Siggins. Say thank you and good night to our friends, Lily.”
“... Thangoo ... goonigh” she followed awkwardly while waving her hand again.
With that, we parted ways, with me and Lily heading to the banquet hall with Max and Rachel, while Bargamus and Siggins went a different route to meet Omar.
The kitchen staff needed time to warm up our meal, which was stew made with meat, potatoes, and carrots, but I didn’t mind. I felt rather lucky that it was this dish, as it was a good way for Lily to start learning how to use silverware and eat with some table manners. She was very attentive as I showed her how to hold the spoon and use it to eat the stew, copying every move I made. It looked like Lily was starting to appreciate human cuisine based on how much she enjoyed her third meal of the day, and she looked proud as I gave her praise where it was due. There were some times I had to wipe her mouth of any stew broth left on her face, though.
At some point, I forgot Rachel and Max were with us until they asked me what happened during my Tamer lesson. By then, while I did eat some of my stew, I couldn’t even finish a third of my serving after my earlier dinner. Lily was actually eager to finish what I had left after she was done with hers, so I let her have the rest of mine before I went to explain things to my classmates. They were genuinely surprised at the fabricated story I told them, and by the end of it, Rachel wanted to know if she could take a picture of us for the occasion. I figured why not and had Max take a picture of us with my own smartphone while we were at it. After we found some good lighting so we didn’t have to use our phones’ flash function—I didn’t want to startle Lily with it—the two of them took a picture of me with my Companion sitting on my arm.
Afterward, a few of the castle’s maids brought over the few changes of clothes, toothbrush, and hairbrush that I requested from them for my Companion when we arrived. We bade Rachel and Max goodnight before I had Lily sit on my arm and I carried her over to the bathroom nearest to my room for us to clean up.
First off was that I made sure Lily got toilet-trained as soon as possible, but my concern in that department was unneeded. From what she told me, she and other Goblins would use whatever leaves were available to wipe while they did everything outdoors. I was genuinely glad about that, and so when I showed her how to use the toilet and toilet paper, she was ecstatic like they were the best things ever.
After I left her to do her business—which took quite a while, not surprising for how much she ate today—we started cleaning up. Just like back at the adventurer’s guild, Lily was very cooperative and well-behaved as I helped wash her hair before showing her how to clean the rest of her body. She actually enjoyed it, especially when we soaked in the large bathtub together and took our time in bonding by talking as much as we could. It was more one-sided on Lily’s end, though, with her getting excited over how amazing I was with the last Bloodhound earlier. Her praises had me a little embarrassed, but I was happy she was starting to open up to me to this extent, compared with how awkward and nervous she was in the beginning.
After that, I showed her how to take off and put on her change of clothes for the night, and brushed her black locks—I had brushed my pets’ hair in the past, so my experience in that helped me a lot here. Then, I showed her how to brush her small, pointy teeth while I did my own with our toothbrushes. By the end, compared to when we first met, Lily looked a lot cuter and more adorable after a thorough cleaning.
Back in my room, before I forgot, I took a quick skim of the list Bargamus left me to see what options I could choose to tame as my next Companion. I circled a few that caught my eye with one of the quill pens from the desk counter. I then cast [Restore] on both of us for 30 MP total, making a mental note that I’d have to spare enough for both of us from now on to stay healthy. Despite how much MP I had left, everything that happened today had me really exhausted by the time we finally got under the covers of my bed, but not before I made sure the alarm on my smartphone was set. To make sure Lily wouldn’t get startled the next morning, I showed her how the alarm would sound when it went off to wake us up.
While I had my phone out, I realized I needed to fill Tamy in on what happened today since I hadn’t seen her. I tried sending a short text that included the picture Max took of us, just to see if it would work or not.
Me: Tired from training, but I tamed my first monster! Say hello to Lily the Goblin!
Tamy: OMG SHE IS ADORBS! U HAVE 2 introduce me 2morrow! No Xceptions! Have a good night!
I guess with this, I can now confirm that we can still send texts to each other. We could probably even call, too. I doubt I can do anything broken with my smartphone like ‘In Another World with my Smartphone’, though, I thought.
I set my glasses next to my phone and Bargamus’ list on the nightstand and sighed a breath of relief that the day was finally over, “That, was one heck of a day, and we got so much to do tomorrow, too. I just hope I don’t get really sore after all that. What about you, Lily? Are you tired? … Lily?” I turned my head over, only to see she was already out like a light.
Lily laid there on the side wearing a small nightgown the maids had prepared for us, a tiny green hand securely gripped on my shirt while she slept so peacefully. I hadn’t asked her what happened before I ran into her, but she must have been so exhausted after all the stress she went through today to fall asleep just like that. If I asked her too soon, she’d probably recall some unpleasant memories, so I decided to hold it off until we knew each other better and she was ready to speak to me about it.
“Thangoo … Grriiss,” Lily thanked me in her sleep, partially in Goblin language.
Goddammit, you’re making me tear up here, Lily, I thought, moved as I pulled myself closer, gave a kiss on her head like I always did with my old pets, and held her in my arms, I swear to you, Lily, that I’m going to get us out of this stone cage called a castle, get you some new friends to join us, and we’ll have tons of fun living our new lives together.