Chapter 0 - The Final Goodbye

Hmm...hmmm... huh? Where am I?

As I woke up, I realize myself being in an unknown, foreign place to me. But that was not all. I felt different, as in, worldly different. I looked down on my body and much to my surprise, I had a transparent body brimming with a white aura.

It felt scary.

To confirm my thoughts, I passed through walls and flew through ceilings. It is true. I am dead. For no particular reason, fear began seeping up in my very soul as I think of what the future held before me, now as a spirit.

I know it is reality, I really know. But I simply did not want to accept it. That I am dead.

Memories of the past flashes past by my mind as my wrongdoings were highlighted the most. I had done a lot of bad things, but I did not repent on them. Am I going to be okay? That was what had mainly been infesting my mind for quite some time, until yet another thought crept up on me.

Communication.

As a spirit, I was no longer tied to the world of the living. And so was the connection of communication between me and them. Thinking of that had my soul tremble.

Without wasting any time, I flew high up in the sky and sought for the living. There was a city. Many humans were walking down upon the sidewalk, busy with their daily lives. I landed on the ground, just in front of one of the humans, looking like a businessman.

"Uh, umm... hello!" mustering up my courage, I said it to a total stranger.

Without even looking at me, the businessman simply walked through me as he ignored my greetings. It was then, I felt a new kind of fear. The fear of being alone, which had already become a living reality for me.

Standing in the middle of the sidewalk in plain sight, I cried out loudly as I was about to experience the life as a spirit. This was only the beginning. The starting line of my new 'life' and yet, I am already like this? What is going to happen to me?

Hours by hours passed by, days by days, and eventually, months. I was standing at the edge of sanity. I was close to becoming a corrupted spirit, whatever that means. Unable to vocally communicate with anyone was taking its toll on me as my mental stress accumulates, incapable of releasing it.

I was alone. I was within the living, and yet, I was alone.

It was then, I discovered something. I was able to touch things despite being a spirit. Before, I was so occupied with my thoughts, never once did it cross my mind to actually try out what a spirit could actually do. It simply slipped my mentally exhausted mind.

I did not know how it was possible. But I could not care enough.

Instantly, I sought for something that I could write with, and write on. It did not take long as I could pass through many buildings, but I did not steal. I could not steal. Fearing to commit any more sin, I absolutely avoided the idea of stealing.

Instead, I scavenged for pencil leads or thrown pen and some boxes or papers. I did not realize that time, that I was so into it, I had forgotten my suffering temporarily because I actually had something to do. Something to fill my mind with.

Within seconds, I found exactly what I searched for. A dirty coloring pencil and a piece of torn paper. With the two, I tried something that I had been thinking of since first discovering my ability to touch things. Writing.

And thus, I finally worked out a way to communicate with the living, although it might scare the hell out of them at first.

I was able to write a few sentence on the torn piece of paper. Despite being all blurry and messy, it was still at the point of readable. For once after a long while, I actually felt relieved as I was still able to communicate with the living. It was a small discovery, but it saved myself from going insane.

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Immediately, I flew through the air, carrying my now-cleaned color pencil and a brand new piece of paper. My destination? Naturally, it was my family's house.

Arriving there, I saw my parents, tending their plants while my little brother and little sister played together outside the house. Tears fell off my cheeks as I witness my living family, now in the absence of myself.

With my honest feeling, I wish for them to never experience such events like I am right now.

It was then, as if being able to see me, my little brother who was at the age of three approached me. The other three, my father, mother and my little sister noticed his acts, thinking it was something random he is doing for fun. Or that was what they were thinking, until my little brother spoke,

"Scissor....sizer....sister!" he said while pointing his finger at me.

No words could describe my feelings at that moment, to actually be able to be noticed by someone. I was so happy, tears ran down my dried cheek once more as I pat my little brother's head softly. The little boy chuckled happily as I smiled, crouching in front of him.

"Sister...fly?..... Cry?.. Why?" asked the innocent little brother.

My father, mother and my little sister were speechless as their mind was filled with only one thought. That I was there. That I was present with them. Only that they could not notice me.

My little sister however, also noticed that there was a color pencil and a paper floating in the air. Not knowing what to do, she stepped back behind father and mother. I knew, they were probably afraid of me. They were probably wondering by then, what am I still doing here?

Sadly, I wish I knew the answer to that question myself, of which I don't.

Not wanting to scare them any longer, I proceeded to write something close to a message on the piece of paper I brought with. I tried to make it as neat as possible, but alas, spirits could not control their grip onto something as perfect as the living did.

Dropping the paper down on the ground, I picked up a dead rose flower and flew away. The rose flower was to indicate that I am truly leaving the place, allowing them to rest in safety and comfort once more.

Slowly, I noticed I had begun to disappear. My body became even more transparent, to the point I could see it no longer. I see. I had some regrets, and now, I finally have none. I will finally move on. It may be scary, but looking at the faces of my loved ones granted me my final strength to keep on going.

Only.... that I had one last question remaining till the very end. How did I die? Soon enough disappearing, I could no longer think of a way to find that out.

Within the paper was a message,

"Dear Father, Mother and my beloved little sister, I know that all three of you are scared of me. At once, I'll be leaving the moment I leave this letter. I just want all of you to know, that these past few months had been a harsh reality for me. That I suffered a lot, alone. With that, I wished to see the familiar faces I had been with for years, just so it can give me the strength to keep on living. And I finally did. I truly apologize for any mistakes I had done for all the time I lived for. And with this, this is my final good bye.

- Love, Eldest Sister."

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Author's Side : Thank you for reading this short, one shot story and hope you enjoyed it!

This story was made for me to warm-up on making my first fiction. So yeah, do forgive me for he mistakes, grammar and bad story telling that occured in this short story.

With that said, hope you enjoyed reading it really :D.