After the fifth night, it didn't feel like a fluke that Hayashi stopped coming to the De'en's for dinner. I'd spent far too much time agonising over why. My newly quiet life allowed far too much room for idle thought. As the days ticked by, the rabbit hole my mind had disappeared down had gotten deeper and increasingly warped. One thing remained painfully clear, though; Hayashi had probably, almost definitely, left in the hurry he had because he'd felt the bulge in the front of my pants and now thought I was a disgusting pervert.
No amount of scrubbing could clean me of my dirty disposition... But I'd be damned if I didn't try. I'd be a better man. I'd taken the first step toward a fresh start. Nothing was going to hold me back, not even my bum leg.
I was still only a month and a half into my recovery from the silver poisoning, so my regenerative healing wasn't quite back to normal yet. The Doctor had speculated it could take up to three months for me to be fighting fit. Until I'd passed a complete medical service, the boss had medically suspended me from work. I'd wasted enough time feeling sorry for myself, so I started hobbling the hanging walkways. One, to get out of my room and two, to strengthen my leg. By the third day, I'd decided I'd attempt to make it downstairs.
"One step at a time," I repeated my new mantra all the way down the flight of stairs, clinging to the railing to my left as if my life depended on it. Well, just my balance. The even steps weren't the issue, but putting my weight onto my left leg and on the odd steps down was a risk each and every time.
I'd stumbled a couple of times, and for that reason, I'd only done my practising when the nest was empty. My pride couldn't take any more pitiful glances or, god forbid, aid.
After seven consecutive days of practice, I made it down the steps without holding onto the railings. Along the way, I'd collected a colourful array of bruises, but it was worth the aches and pains if I could be free of my confinement.
That night, I joined the De'en charm around the dinner table.
It had always seemed to me that Hayashi and Kenichi talked about everything, so I was thankful there didn't seem to be any awkwardness between me and the kin. We all laughed, ate, drank and had a good time. It went no way to replace the evening meals I missed with my wife and children but I enjoyed watching the De'en's family interactions, however bitter and sweet.
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It was almost midnight when I slunk down into my bed, and for the first night in ages, I fell asleep quickly without waking to any nightmares.
I was woken abruptly. I heard my name being called into my ear so closely that hot breath tickled my lobe.
"Wake up and come with me." The voice whispered, their fingers prizing my sheets away from my body. "Hurry, we don't have much time." The voice came again, their tone more insistent this time.
"Huh? What's going on?" I blinked open my eyes to find the orange glow of the crystal lamp gently lighting up Hayashi's face. "Ugh." I groaned sleepily and tugged my bedclothes out of his hand and back up my chest, figuring I'd roll over and try and get out of this dream.
"Nate?" He hissed my name, grasped my upper arm, and shook it slightly.
"Go away. You're not even really here... This is a dream..." Reaching over, I took his hand. I'd been about to shove it away, but my mind had woven such a realistic rendition of his hand beneath mine. His fingers felt just the right length, and when I intertwined my fingers through his, their nimbleness and temperature gratified a desire inside me, one that I only dared explore in my dreams. Squeezing tighter, I pleaded needily, "Touch me?"
A light chuckle fluttered into my ear like the sweet birdsong of early spring. "When we get there," Hayashi whispered, deeper, salaciously, and so close to my ear that I felt his lips brisk against me. It was almost cruel how quickly he snatched his hand from mine. I whined in disappointment; the dream wasn't going how I wanted.
The dreamscape shattered in an instant. I jolted wide awake and bolted upright when my forename was shouted in fullness.
"What the f-" I panted.
"Get up and get dressed. You're wasting time." Hayashi ordered the dark swathe of his hair fanning cloaklike behind him as he left my room.
Hopping into underwear and my cargo's, I was at a loss hunting for a top layer when Hayashi peeped back through the linen door cover and hissed, "Hurry while the Fae are still sleeping."
"I'm coming, I'm coming, I can't find a goddamn shirt..." I frantically hissed back. "Ah, this'll do," I grabbed a black hoodie from my washing pile; I couldn't imagine there was anywhere fancy to do around the Compound.
Joining him outside my room, he didn't idle long and turned toward the stairs. "Follow me."