Issue 1: Slow Pacing

By far the biggest issue I've heard is the slow pacing for the entire act. Things do not pick up until Founder's Eve. While this is intentional, as is the traditional fantasy novel style heavy with description that not all people may enjoy, there are certain areas that I have recognized can be improved.

Spoiler:

Where the Heart Is serves as a chapter to introduce Ein's ordinary life up until now, some major characters, as well as establishing conflict for some of them (mainly Evaine). In the second draft, I will look at changing the events that happen in this chapter. At the moment, I'm considering adding a scene in which Alend visits Sanson to ask him whether Evaine can stay with them or not (this will require an adjustment to Sanson's personality), and in the process introducing Bran, as well as providing foreshadowing for Sanson being one of the Faceless. I will also be looking to cut Einar (the dog)'s burial. The latter half with the conversation with Evaine will stay the same.

Children of the Wind is by far the biggest culprit for the slow pace, moreso because it shifts the focus away from the relicts and onto a tangent than anything else. My tentative fix will be to rewrite that chapter from the perspective of Balinor tending to the injured, right after the relicts attack them, and I may or may not cut the visit by Ein, Evaine and Cinnamin.

The Soulsong feels largely fine, though I will probably be removing the scene with Helda since it's no longer necessary (see below). I'll also be editing Alend's memory slightly to include a third character (not really relevant at this time).

Issue 2: Ein's Characterization

Many people have stated that Ein's character is not fleshed out as much as say, Evaine's. He's mainly been reacting to things around him rather than actually taking a proactive approach. Partly this is because nothing has barely happened—he's only just gained a motivation at the end of act 1, so he has plenty of room to grow. This is a bit of a hard thing to fix in the first act.

Spoiler:

My tentative fix will be to add in more snippets of conflict to Ein pre-journey, mainly his concerns about getting married and essentially entering adulthood. I'll also place more emphasis on his admiration of his father and his desire to be included in important discussions (like the relict attacks), which directly conflicts with the previous and also the revelations regarding his heritage.

A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

Now I'll list some of the more minor changes I intend to make:

Issue 3: Relicts

I'll be making a number of small changes to the whole relict system. I wasn't entirely sure where I was going with it when I wrote it, but now I have a better idea of where I want to take it.

Spoiler:

Celadons will be downgraded to simple beasts. The main reason is so relicts all have something in common—being half man, half beast.

I will be adding in some references to Worgals and Bloodmanes in the early chapters discussing relicts, so we have a better idea of what they're like before being suddenly introduced to the different species, and also to consolidate that knowledge of certain relict types are common knowledge among people.

The descriptions of relict carnage with the wolves and sheep will be reworked to better reflect damage inflicted by a Bloodmane.

The third weakness of relicts, salt, will be changed to sunlight. This makes more sense lorewise—during the Great Winter, the sun's rays will be blocked, allowing relicts to run rampant again. I'll also remove a few parts with Helda, the medicine woman to adjust.

Issue 4: Names

Some of the names are too similar to those from popular culture, and that makes them less memorable. I'll be doing a whole comb-through and Ctrl F + replace them, but only at the end of Book 1, so that won't be for a while. This is just giving you all a heads up.

Issue 5: Miscellaneous

Spoiler:

- Misc prose fixes

- Give the Children of the Wind carriages as well as wagons

- Minor edits to dialogue in The Blood of Kings to make consistent with previous modifications

- Mention the troupers being useless during Fire and Steel since I built up their reputation too much in Children of the Wind

- Add a conversation between Balinor and Alend about Sanson being a Faceless. There's a bit of confusion whether he turned into a creature or was killed and replaced by a creature. To clarify, Faceless are ordinary men who become creatures wearing human skin when they swear their fealty to Asmodon.