I can’t see. Maybe I’m sleeping. But I feel like I’m awake. I remember my fourth grade teacher talked about something like this. Lucid dreaming, think she said it’s called. But I dunno. It’s not dark. Not bright either. Just can’t see. That’s weird. Dreams have stuff in them. Usually mine do anyhow. Maybe I’m dead? Hurts like it. Head’s just pounding.

How’d I get here? Last thing I… it was night I think. At a bar. I didn’t drink. Been trying to quit since big sis asked me. Charlie made a joke and took a drink. Think it was a Monster can. Had those big bright neon green letters on black. Looked like street graffiti taken right off a wall. And they just put it on an aluminum can, said, ship it.

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Then I got a headache, all loud and sharp, and went home. Just walked inside and sat down. The usual, big sis said I could crash. Asked her for something to drink. She offered water and I said fine, asked how the birds had been. Then it was her turn, said fine same as me. I smiled and she left for the kitchen. For a moment I sat there and my head pounded and pounded. It’s still pounding. Hurts like hell.

Feels like only a minute ago. But I didn’t close my eyes. Didn’t go to bed. Was just waiting on my water. Maybe I still am.

But if it comes I don’t see it.