At first black spots appeared in my vision, as the pain attacked my consciousness. I kept praying for it to stop but the pain kept coming, in waves, making me lose my grip on reality. The black spots began to melt and swell in size. And soon my eyelids started to flutter, as I lost the power to keep them open. The black spots began to flow together unifying into a dark sea that completely surrounded me.
Yet the pain didn’t stop coming. Red flashes of pain and purple agony kept striking me, illuminating the black ocean, like strikes of lightning. However they only lasted briefly, as I fell further downwards and drowned in the endless abyss. The flashes transformed into spots once more and soon the last remnants of light were swallowed.
I just existed there in the darkness, waiting to be brought back to the surface. Back into the world of pain.
I drifted in the currents of darkness helpless to its intentions. Soon my momentum slowed and I was brought to stop by something solid.
I had reached the bottom of the abyss. The darkness slowed and flowed with ease.
An odd sense of tranquility filled me as the currents washed over me like a breeze of warm air. I relaxed as I was coerced by the darkness. All of my fear and desperation vanished.
Soon a spec of light came into vision amongst the darkness, being pulled downward to the bottom. As it got closer I was able to see that it was a mixture of colors, vibrant and constantly flowing. Eventually it was brought down to the bottom next to me where it stopped.
I watched as the colors began to transform. I was mesmerized by the floating iridescent mass of colors began to shape into the form of a human. I felt strangely connected to the colors. Like they were apart of me.
No they were me. They were my soul.
I had thought that souls were pure white or silver, but before me was a piece of art. It was a reflection of myself, each color was a part of what made me, me.
Then it began. On the forehead of the body the black symbol branded on my forehead came into existence and the colors of the body began to shudder. The darkness from the brand began to spread across my soul.
I could feel myself being taken over. It wasn't painful. Part of me felt joy at being erased from the world, but really I was afraid to fade away.
My anxiety and sadness were the first to be tainted by the darkness. They had long been broken, nothing compared to the pain.
I felt a void where they used to be. An emptiness in myself. But it didn't stop there. Soon more of my soul began to waver and fade away. Each time I became less and dwindled away.
I wasn't able to do anything as they slipped away from me, just feel them slipping away.
Eventually I was with only one thing remaining. It was a ball of blue fire. As I started losing various parts of myself it had expanded, trying to fill the gaps created. I waited for it to disappear too so I could fade away as a whole.
I looked at it curiously. Why was it attempting so desperately to hold on. It crackled and strained attempting to fill my entire soul. What's the point in struggling any further?
I could tell that this strange fire was my rage, my anger. Bottled up my entire life it now wanted to burst out and refused to be extinguished.
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No that's not it. I saw a brighter light in the middle. It could barely tell it was there. It was miniscule compared to my rage. I was only able to notice it because the areas of anger around it were lighter and gentle. While the rest of the fire were flowing like a blaze, the fire near the light was more like water, just cascading around the center where a spec of light was.
The light was fragile and flickering, it looked like it was about to go out. The blue flames wouldn't let it go, and surrounding it. Protecting it and keeping it hostage at the same time.
I just existed there staring at the rage flowing around the light keeping it from fading away. I stood there and watched the flames fend off the darkness, gradually getting weaker as time passed
The flames was about half its original size when a flash of light appeared next to me.
A window of light appeared next to me. It seemed to be showing a blurry image. The light was abruptly shut off as the window blinked. When the light came back it was focused. In it I could see the same room I was stuck in for the last horrid week. The image swayed as it turned showing a pale scrawny body. I instantly recognised it as my own and realized I was seeing what reality from my own perspective.
I couldn't feel or hear anything though, just watch as my body looked up to see the dungeon door open up and Alistair stride in. He was sporting a large smile as he walked up to the slab of stone I was restrained to.
He began to speak but I was unable to hear any sound at all besides the slow crackle of my dying rage.
After speaking for a brief moment, his grin grew and he started the motions for casting a spell. I tensed up preparing for more pain, but it never came. Instead, I was surprised as the window showed me getting off the slab and standing up.
When I saw this, it clicked. I realised why this was all happening. The spell had worked and I was no longer myself. I was trapped there, watching myself as a slave, until the rest of my soul fades away.
At this point I had given up, there was nothing left that I could do, but observe the window.
My body now that it was freed, followed Alistar out of the room and walked down the dungeons hall way before stopping at one of the other doors. He turned and reached into his robe, pulling out a steel dagger. He spoke for a moment before handing the knife to me and motioning to the door.
I watched as I pushed open the door and entered into the dim room while Alistar followed behind me.
He lit the torch in the room and I was able to see what it contained. There was a small figure huddled in the corner of the room shuddering. As my body walked forward into the room, I was able to get a better look at the person. It was a girl much younger than me with filth covered hair draped across her face. I approached her and reached down to picking up the girl. She turned, attempting to push me away. She turned and looked at me with panic strewn across her features. Upon seeing my face she was quickly surprised. I was too, because in my grasp was Avery.
Surprise quickly turned to dread as I remembered what was in my other hand. My body lifted up the dagger and brought it towards Avery.
I began to wail at the window. Lashing out with everything I had. Because I knew what was coming next. My efforts showed no effects as my body back in reality brought the knife to her neck. I was trapped there pounding on the window, watching as my hand forced the knife through her neck. Blood sprayed out hitting my face, tinting the window red.
My struggles began to lessen as I watched myself drop her back to the ground lifeless.
Why god dammit?
What did I do in my last life to deserve this?
What did I do?
What did I do?
I collapsed against the window and turned away unable to watch any more.
I killed her. Just like how I killed Herold. I killed them because I wasn't able to do anything.
I was too weak.
I turned back to my soul. At this point the flames were all but gone. Only a small layer remained around the flickering white light.
Why couldn’t I have been strong?
Why can’t I be strong?
Why can’t I kill Alistar?
Why can't I kill them all?
I stood back up as I watched the blue flames begin to flare back to life. It fed off of the very thing it protected, the white light. It became a bonfire shaped as a person, using the small white light as fuel. As the flames of hatred grew and the light diminished, the flames darkened. Soon the white light blinked out of existence, completely burnt up by the flames that had become as pitch black as the darkness surrounding it.
Why can’t I kill them all?