Covered in grass and heavily leaning on his scythe, Lem watched as the jovial dark skinned Firekin ambled towards him across the field. Lem waited and chewed on a strand of fresh grass in the lovely and crisp morning air, but he did not mirror the attitude of the approaching merchant. For he was feeling quite under the weather, for even with his decent Vitality stats he had somehow drank enough to overcome his natural poison resistance.

You’d think that I would get used to the drink by now, he thought glumly with some self-loathing as he struggled through his hangover.

“The eggs as usual?!” Lem shouted with a raised chin once Shivalteek was halfway through his grassy field.

“Why do you not deem me the ideal neighbor who would just amble along on such a fine day, just for a chat with my favorite Capybans?” shot back Shivalteek with a flash of his pearly whites that outshone his shiny dome as he spread out his arms, as if he was speaking to a larger audience than just Lem who he was addressing.

“Putting on quite the wee flip there Shival,” stated back Lem before another pulsing headache caused him to shut his eyes, as if the act would somehow soothe his post-alcohol afflicted brain.

“Why else would one such as myself have such gifts if not to entertain the easily impressed? I would wont nothing more than to behold an innocent smile due to my flames, rather than return to my past where I broiled men and Beastkin into smoldering motes because a superior told me so,” replied the Firekin with a small smile on his face. But his eyes which were the window to his soul did not share in the laughter, for they creased and betrayed the sadness of a person who was haunted by his past.

“By the Divines that’s pretty dark even for you,” grunted Lem before he too fell into silence. For the Capyban’s own past was not free of violence, even if it was for coin instead of Shivalteek’s misplaced honor. The two were well aware of what each other had done before settling in Pancreedy, as they had shared many a cup in the Scimitar’s Glint. With Lem being fully aware that the jovial Merchant’s past having a massively higher tally of death to his name then himself.

“Anyways enough of such frivolous and whimsical reminiscing, it brings such a foul taste to my mouth! Now tell me my dear Lem… How was last night? Did I miss much?” asked the Firekin eagerly once he was finally a few steps away from the Capyban.

Lem was not one for theatrics or withholding much from others, but the Capyban treated himself to a small silent pause as he eked out some more apprehension from the Firekin before answering. It was common knowledge to himself and many in town how much the shopkeeper enjoyed a good drink. With his absence from the busiest night of the week in the Scimitar last night the likely result of his wife preventing him from doing so.

Oh what a night you missed my friend, Lem happily mused to himself before another throbbing headache cursed through him. He waited for it to pass before answering, “Aye it was quite the night indeed,” before pausing and leaving the Firekin to painfully speculate on his own.

“Well! Out with it!” begged Shivalteek like a man suffering from a withdrawal, his flowery speech forgotten as another perfect smile eagerly waited for Lem to elaborate.

“Oh well tis’ nothing much… just that the Ladie’s Meet has been spreading false word that Hoarast and Joantack are eloping in the woods, and as you’d imagine they aren’t to fond of such news seeing as to how it’s not true an all. Then there was some random Hermitaur lass who tripped over and stabbed Maydock-Fem in the leg by accident, but It was all ok on account of their band providing some potions afterwards,” continued Lem with him happy to see the merchant was lost for words for once.

“Aye then me and Lok had a wee arm-wrestle between us, absolutely drunk mid you, before some others joined in. It went it’s usual course with some people starting to take bets before Shade came out of nowhere and beat everybody using his one good arm.” Concluded the Capyban before letting out a sad sigh at the memory of being so resoundingly defeated by the formidable one-armed Pantherian.

Shivalteek on the other hand, was only standing across from the Rancher without saying a word and his mouth agape in shock as he blinked furiously. But once he finally processed what a fun evening he had missed, he had to take a few calming breaths.

Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

“Are you, my good man, trying to tell ME, that I have missed such hilarious and exciting developments, on a gloriously drink-fueled occasion, because my dear Deantharla, may she forever favor me with her smile, got me to go over the books?!” shouted Shitvalteek who had lost his composure with his eyes bulging out of his head. His normally smooth, dark and Alabaster-like skin was already starting to crack as small whorls of flames sough to escape from within the Firekin.

Noting how the grass below the merchant was beginning to singe and fearing that the Firekin was likely to start a fire in his grassy field, prompted Lem to warn Shivalteek.

“Oii MISTER Shivalteek, you should watch yourself now, you wouldn’t be wanting to burn down my field and having to explain why you did so to your WIFE now would you?” rumbled Lem sternly as he tried to assuage the incensed Firekin.

A small spark of a mixture between fear and clarity returned to the crackling merchant. He then surveyed the ground around him which caused a barely noticeable dark shade of red to creep up his neck. His skin then quickly recovered by sealing up and becoming unblemished again as he reigned in his fiery temper over the long hours of paperwork he had to go through last night.

“Pardon me my dear Lem, I was momentarily in another place. I hope you can find it in yourself to forgive this crass fool,” apologized Shivalteek before leaning out his right foot and performing a small bow.

“It’s nothing,” grumbled Lem in reply for he was mightily relieved that he would not have to deal with a raging inferno in his hay-field this morning along with his raging hangover.

“Now back to the matter of our usual arrangement Mr.Brownwhisker, do you have some eggs for me?” asked Shivalteek with a smile as he straightened up once again, happy to be able to change the subject and divert away from his slight faux-paus.

“Well about that..” began Lem uneasily as he shifted his weight back onto his feet and off his scythe, which in turn caused Shivalteek to raise up one of his eyebrows as he sensed that something was amiss.

“You see I don’t have much.. or any for you this week,” confessed the Capyban.

“But it’s for a good reason,” he added with his free hand raised to interrupt the Firekin before he was able to comment.

“You see I had to use it as payment to Xerneg for some healing he did a few days prior,” explained Lem before he shrugged his hairy shoulders and dislodging a few strands of grass.

“Ahaa!” exclaimed Shivalteek in reply. For he quickly understood that the eggs must’ve been used as payment for Nosal’s healing.

“Tis good to see that young master Nosal is back to being hail and hearty, as any young strapping boy should be!” proclaimed a very happy Shivalteek, for he now had some excellent news to report to his own master.

“No, no, you misunderstand Shival, it was for Dittat, the wee little Wurm partner to Kano. The kids got into a wee scuffle with some beasties or whatnot… Nosal’s all fine and dandy, he’s got nothing for you to worry about whatsoever! Yeap nothing wrong with him whatsoever,” explained a flustered Lem as he slightly stumbled near the end of his speech.

Good way to sound suspicious to all the Realms right there you oaf, he cursed internally whilst watching the Firekin frown in confusion. I hope my Charisma Does something good for once here.

“Well if your family is in good health, then there is nothing to be concerned about. If anything you should rejoice with a GOOD DR…. nevermind,” spoke the Firekin happily before he quickly deflated at being reminded of how he had missed a great night. Lem on the other hand was quite pleased with himself as he had avoided the minefield that was the topic of the wellbeing of his Son.

Another short silence filled the air as the two stood in the field with nothing more to say, with the Firekin in a surely mood and the Capyban hanging out of his arse but slightly happy.

“Well I see that you have the things to be tending too, and I shall waver the collection of your scrumptious eggs for this week and I shall go on to explain to some bereft customers why, with the story you have told me, and with that, I shall bid you a good day and hope the twins shine on you,” excused the Firekin before he turned away with a wave to begin his trek back to his fetch his balloon/basket before heading back to town.

“I’ll see you later,” mumbled Lem in his deep voice to the retreating figure before he hefted his scythe back into a two-handed grip as he prepared to continue his work.

Wait! I should ask him about ordering some pork for Da’Nittan, I totally forgot to ask Sarking-Tars about it last night! Came the thought to Lem like a bolt of lightning through his muddy, hungover brain.

“Wait! Shivalteek! Can I order some Man-Legged Pork off you! Two whole carcasses!” shouted Lem.

The Firekin whirled round with a slightly confused and disgusted expression on his face before understanding came to him as he shouted back, “Surely you mean Many-Legged Pork?!”

Divines how did I confuse the two? Eurggh! Lem thought with disgust at the idea of eating a Man-Legged Pork.

“Yeah that’s the one! I got them confused for a second!” he shouted back sheepishly.

“Sorry no can do! Meat is strictly Mrs.Tar’s field of expertise and I don’t want to ruin my professional relationship with her by poaching her business! You should ask her instead, or I can pass on the word?!” shouted back the Firekin as he slowly continued to walk backwards through the field.

“Yes please!” shouted back Lem once he gave it a quick moment of thought.

But firstly I have some developments to report to master, thought the Firekin as he whirled around once more.