It was raining. Again. This summer was supposed to be one of the hot ones, but the unceasing heat was interrupted by the torrential downpour. I heard something on the TV about a Nordic cyclone warning, but I didn’t expect it to last for a whole week. I loved the occasional sounds of distant thunders! It really fit well with how stormy and restless my life was.
I was caught by the rain, luckily enough, really close to a restaurant. It was one of those cheap places where people bought beer in the night as they didn’t have anything good to eat. I decided to take a seat on the terrace to wait out the heavy part of the weather. I took out my pack of cheap cigarettes and picked the last one. Perfect. Something about this type of night I enjoyed. It gave me the feeling of being alone with the darkness. My legs were shaking; I wasn’t particularly worried about anything, but I had this weird habit of being in a rush for something. After taking a puff, I relaxed and started contemplating where I am going with my life.
It was more than two months since I broke up with a girl I considered the ‘love of my life’. The thing is, she was nowhere close to being a good person. She was a narcissist who was just happy to prey on my emotions and suck out everything alive out of me. I disliked everything about her, from her looks to her behavior and ultimately her wild sex appetite. Why did I date her, you ask me?
I get obsessive as soon as something new appears in my life and idealize it. I get blinded by words and totally deny my own intelligence, especially when it comes to women. In search of filling our emptiness, we find ourselves women that are emptying. Paradoxically, we find out that there is still something inside as soon as we get out of the relationship.
While I was having this monologue in my head, the waiter approached me. It was a blonde, short woman in her twenties.
“Sir, will you be ordering anything? If not, you are not allowed to smoke in here.”
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I always disliked this type of situation. I never planned to order anything, but I didn’t want to put off my last cigarette. Here, I decided I would spice up the night. I was looking for any type of conflict that would bring me some sort of short joy or raise my pride as a man. I looked her straight in the eyes and, with a sly smile, told her to have a seat.
Her eyes widened slightly, clearly taken aback by my audacity. She stood there for a moment, caught between professionalism and curiosity. Finally, she sighed and pulled out a chair, sitting down across from me.
“Alright,” she said, folding her arms. “You have my attention. What’s this about?”
I took another drag of my cigarette, feeling a twisted satisfaction in pushing her boundaries. “You see,” I began, exhaling slowly, “I’ve had a pretty rough couple of months. Life’s been... complicated. I’m not here to cause trouble, but maybe a little conversation would help. What’s your story? How did you end up working at this place?”
Her posture relaxed a bit, and she glanced around, making sure her manager wasn’t watching. “It’s just a job,” she said, shrugging. “I’m a student, studying psychology. This place helps pay the bills.”
“Psychology, huh?” I mused. “Maybe you can psychoanalyze me then. Tell me why I keep ending up in relationships that drain the life out of me.”
She chuckled, a genuine smile breaking through her initial wariness. “Well, I’m not a professional yet, but from what you’ve said, it sounds like you’re seeking validation in all the wrong places. You might be looking for someone to complete you instead of complement you.”
I stubbed out my cigarette, pondering her words. “Maybe you’re right,” I admitted. “But it’s hard to break the cycle when you’re so used to it.”
“Change starts with awareness,” she said, leaning forward. “You’ve already taken the first step by recognizing the pattern. Now, you just need to act on it.”
Her insight struck a chord within me. Maybe this unexpected encounter was exactly what I needed—a wake-up call from a stranger. “Thanks,” I said, genuinely. “I didn’t catch your name.”
“Laura,” she replied. “And you?”
“Mike.”
“Well, Mike,” Laura said, standing up. “I hope you find what you’re looking for. And remember, you’re not alone. Everyone has their struggles. It’s how we deal with them that defines us.”
As she walked away, I felt a strange sense of clarity. The rain was still pouring down, but for the first time in a long while, I didn’t mind. Maybe, just maybe, I was finally ready to face the storm within myself.