The ant sizzled as Ryan Castlebrook put out the cigarette on its back with a hard, satisfying twist, breaking the ant in half and extinguishing any glow from above the filter. Ryan took in a deep breath, inhaling the last of the Winston's smoke into his lungs, where he held it for a brief moment before puffing out a long grey smoke trail from his mouth directly onto the ant he had just mutilated. The black bull ant, limping through the smoke with only half a body, made Ryan smile.

For this brief moment, Ryan Castlebrook felt calm and relaxed as the world ever so slightly spun around him. He stared at the ant happily and was lost in his own thoughts. Ryan was big for his age. At sixteen, he was often mistaken for an adult because of his stature, which he took full advantage of when buying a pack of smokes or alcohol from the nearest town over in Birchwood. He had gotten away with it for this long because no one in Birchwood knew him as Ryan Castlebrook but as Billy Ray, the name on his fake ID that nestled into his black Luxfold wallet.

Ryan Castlebrook was not your typical bully. Sure, he was about as thick as a rock, but it was his looks that made him more deceiving. His blonde hair and blue eyes made him look as innocent as a mouse, and most of the adults in Lewton would never believe the stories their children at school told them about him. In fact, most adults would go out of their way to talk to Ryan because of how charming he was to them. It wasn’t uncommon for Ryan to help Mrs. Newbury across the street with her groceries.

Ryan played the part of a perfect altar boy to anyone older than him, which bolstered his identity as a good boy, but it was the things Ryan Castlebrook would do behind these adults' unseen eyes that would make your skin crawl.

At sixteen, Ryan was at the age where he would experiment with his body. The difference with Ryan compared to most youths his age was that he never got a hard-on when he played with his penis. He had tried on multiple occasions, but nothing happened. Even the saucy magazine Playboy with model Alicia Fuller on the cover wouldn’t make Ryan erect. This frustrated him to no end. He was confused as to why Alicia Fuller's perky tits wouldn’t get a rise out of him.

For a brief moment, Ryan Castlebrook even thought he was gay because if his old girlfriend at the time, Ellie Westerfield, couldn’t make his little soldier stand to attention, then who could? But it was one day in Bellows Field that Ryan Castlebrook knew he was different from most.

He was alone because he had just taken a road trip earlier that day to Birchwood and was enjoying his scores. He had just finished his last beer and thrown the empty can of Echo Chill Lager into the darkness of the night. It was time for Ryan to head home.

The night was dark, but the moon glowed a deep yellow, casting enough light that Ryan could still see quite clearly across the field. Before he left the field, Ryan heard the yelping of something. Upon further examination, he saw a little Golden Retriever puppy, lost and scared, seeking Ryan’s aid. Ryan Castlebrook reached down to calm the little puppy’s nerves, but the frightened puppy nipped at Ryan's fingers, piercing his skin.

It was this moment that changed Ryan Castlebrook forever.

Anger swelled inside him as Ryan felt the warm blood exiting his finger where the puppy's razor-sharp teeth had penetrated just below his fingernails. It was a calm anger, not the rage you might imagine. But Ryan Castlebrook, in one swift, controlled movement, raised his right foot above the puppy and lowered it forcefully, crushing the puppy’s head slightly.

The dog yelped for help, its high-pitched squeal echoing across the field. But no help would come, as Ryan Castlebrook was in the field all alone.

“Fucking little cunt,” Ryan Castlebrook calmly stated. “You hurt me, and now I’m gonna hurt you.” He spoke through gritted teeth as he put his blood-stained fingers in his mouth and sucked the blood away.

The puppy, dazed and injured, got up onto all fours and was about to attempt to run, but Ryan quickly gripped its little tail and yanked it hard, flipping the damaged puppy onto its small back.

“Not so quick.” He smiled as the years of built-up frustration and temper were all being released and channelled into something pure evil.

“You bit me, so I’m gonna fucking bite you.” Ryan scooped up the small puppy, and without hesitation, bit down into the dog's neck. He remembered thinking the skin was loose and rubbery, like trying to bite a half-inflated balloon. At first, he couldn’t pierce the dog's skin, but as he pulled the puppy away while grasping it tightly with his teeth, the dog’s skin broke, and another, more intense yelp was cast across the field.

Ryan spat the chunk of dog meat and hair from his mouth, and then something unexpected happened.

There Ryan stood in the field, with a bloodied right hand next to a wounded puppy, and Ryan Castlebrook felt his penis stand erect for the first time in his life. He felt fantastic and was momentarily shocked by this occurrence.

He looked around, making sure he was alone. This experience was new to him, and Ryan unbuckled his grey, worn jeans, letting his pants fall to the grassy ground.

Ryan whispered to himself, “You’re making me excited.” His eyes watered as the joy of becoming a man overwhelmed him.

Ryan snatched the puppy off the ground again and threw it straight back to the earth, hearing something crunch as the paws bent the wrong way from the force of the blow. The puppy lay frozen in shock, still breathing, its yelps becoming softer as its life slowly ebbed away.

Ryan pulled his red jocks off, and within a second, he stood in the field naked from the waist down. He started playing with himself directly above the puppy, his breathing intensifying. The blood from his right hand acted as a lubricant, allowing his hand to slide up and down his shaft with ease as Ryan could feel himself becoming harder with every stroke.

“Fuck yes!” he screamed, losing himself in the moment. As the puppy lay there with nowhere to go, Ryan felt more alive than ever.

Minutes passed as Ryan excitedly fiddled with himself, but the feeling of excitement started to waver as Ryan felt himself becoming soft again.

“No!” he cried. “Why?”

But as he continued to rub with his hand, he felt his penis go limp and small again. His angered scream bellowed across the field, and Ryan kicked the helpless puppy, knocking it out and leaving it motionless.

He bent down and grabbed the dog's front arms, pulling them out diagonally and hearing an audible pop from the leg joints. Instantly, Ryan Castlebrook’s dick became cement hard, and he made the connection immediately. His eyes glazed with sexual delight.

Ryan beat that poor innocent puppy to death and then beat his little pekker as hard as he could until he felt an explosion inside of him, a release of orgasmic energy as the milky cum squirted from his dick onto the grass below. Ryan Castlebrook fell to the earth directly on the dead puppy with his gizz running down his leg and the smile of delight that could never be distinguished. He felt like a man for the first time in his life and he knew he would need to chase that feeling.

“What are you doing out here?” David Castlebrook’s voice questioned from the wire screen door, startling Ryan from his thoughts as he quickly brushed the cigarette butt over with some dirt so it wasn’t seen.

“Nothing, Sir.” Ryan said as he stood up quickly, responding to his father with a slight fear in his voice.

The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.

“Where’s that bitch of a woman?” David Castlebrook opened the screen with a creak. “She ain’t in the kitchen making me breakfast.”

“I’m not sure.” Ryan replied. “Do you need me to find her?”

“No.” David said, opening the door wider to reveal his hulking size to his son. “Did I ask you to find her?”

“No, Sir.” Ryan Castlebrook responded.

“Well, this is just great.” David began. “That woman knows that when I wake up, I want my breakfast.” David looked at his son. “You know how to make some bacon, boy?”

“Ah, yeah, I think so.” Ryan responded.

“You think so?” David exploded. “You better know so.” He corrected himself as he pointed to his son. He shut the wire screen door and went back inside as Ryan Castlebrook followed, knowing that if he didn’t start cooking breakfast as quickly as possible, his father could have what he called a ‘bad moment’ again. Ryan Castlebrook remembered his father’s last bad moment, which had left him with a black eye for a week.

“How many eggs with your bacon, sir?” Ryan Castlebrook asked, following his father to the kitchen and pulling out the large black frying pan from inside the cupboard.

“Am I gonna have to play a game of one hundred questions?” David sat at the small wooden table they had in their kitchen and slapped his feet up on top, taking a load off. “I think you should know exactly how I would like them.”

Ryan poured the golden, thick oil into the pan and lit the stove, letting the pan heat up.

“Yes, I remember, sir.” Ryan all but saluted his father sitting at the table. He didn’t know how much his father wanted—how could he? What he did know was that he would prefer to cook him more rather than less to satisfy his hunger. Ryan slapped an overabundant amount of bacon onto the pan, and it started sizzling almost instantly.

A large clunk on the table could be heard, and Ryan looked up to see his father’s Smith & Wesson six-shooter lying on the table, pointed in his direction. The gun itself didn’t scare Ryan; in fact, he enjoyed playing with it when his father was asleep or left it at home by accident when he went off to work. It was the gun coupled with his father that made Ryan anxious, especially in his current mood.

His father unfolded The Lewton Pioneer paper and started to read today’s story.

“Well, would you look at that,” he said from behind the black-and-white paper to no one in particular. “Fynn Drapper is gonna be the new chief of police.” David Castlebrook laughed a hearty laugh from behind the paper. “Idiot.”

David glanced up from behind the paper and looked at his son.

“I’m surrounded by idiots.”

Ryan didn’t respond and kept cooking as if no insult was thrown his way. The bacon now let off furious popping sounds as he grabbed another pan and a few eggs from their small white fridge. Ryan Castlebrook didn’t speak, but in his mind, he kept thinking of an exit plan. How could he get out of this shithole and away?

Most kids would worry about their mother and how she dealt with this on a daily basis, but for some reason, it made Ryan resent her more. Ryan’s mother didn’t work and was strictly a housewife, so where was she today? Why wasn’t she here doing her job and leaving him to cop his father’s scorn?

She’ll pay for this later, he thought to himself. When Dad’s out and I’m the man of the house, I’ll let her know the pecking order, he thought.

Ryan was deep in thought and missed his father’s question.

“You gonna make me repeat it?” David now put the paper down.

“I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t hear you,” Ryan panicked.

“What, you deaf and stupid now, are ya?” David became angry, and his patience was wearing thin. “I said get me a cold one,” referring to an Iron Ridge Ale.

Ryan pulled out his dad’s favourite beer and cracked it open for him as he put it down on the table next to the gun.

“Fucken idiot,” his dad mumbled under his breath.

Ryan didn’t say anything and went back to preparing his father’s breakfast. He put a few pieces of bread into the toaster and set it to dark—just like his dad liked it.

“Should be almost done,” Ryan said to his father as the grey Swift Dial telephone that was nestled onto the wall started to ring.

“Well, who the hell is ringing this early?” The phone buzzed and rattled on its hook.

Ryan instinctively went to answer it.

“Hey!” David yelled. “That’s not your phone.”

“I just thought...” Ryan began.

“You just thought?” David said aggressively. “Well, fuck me, son. It’s taken...”

David Castlebrook tried to remember his son’s age but drew a blank.

“It’s taken a fuck-load of time for you to have your own thoughts. Let’s not make a habit of it.”

The phone continued to ring as Ryan continued to cook, the phone giggling so vigorously it almost fell off the hook.

David sat staring at it. The toast popped up from the toaster, and Ryan turned the eggs off, knowing that his dad liked the yolk to run over his buttered bread and combine with the bacon.

The phone stopped ringing and sat still as David picked up the paper to continue reading again, but before he had the chance, the phone began again. David slammed his fists on the table as hard as he could.

“God damn it!” he screamed as he pushed the chair from the table, causing a screeching noise across the floor.

David picked up the bulky receiver of the phone. “Who’s this?” David ordered.

He sat listening as Ryan slopped the eggs onto the bread.

Ryan constantly had intrusive thoughts. They began that day with the puppy and had been constantly getting worse, almost like his thoughts were controlled by someone else, repeating themselves until he acted on them.

Ryan looked around the room and saw the six-shooter lying alone on the table, still pointing in his direction. His father stood on the phone a few metres to the left.

Get the gun, the voice in Ryan Castlebrook’s mind spoke to him as he threw the bacon on top and quickly took the plate to the table, placing it where his father had just been sitting.

“I see,” David said on the phone. Ryan was now standing at the table, and the gun was within his reach. All he needed to do was quickly reach down and click off the safety, like he had practiced a hundred times over. He would have to act quickly as his father stared at him while he was on the phone. ‘Do it,’ his inner voice commanded. ‘Kill him.’ Ryan started to reach down at the table as his father slammed the phone back onto the holder with a bang, startling Ryan, who knocked the freshly cooked breakfast onto the dirty kitchen floor. He saw the plate in slow motion, falling down and smashing, with a mix of food particles and porcelain flying everywhere. A force struck Ryan Castlebrook in the back of the head, pushing him down to the floor, his face now inches away from the broken plate.

“What the fuck did you do?” David barked.

“I’m sorry,” Ryan screamed as he felt the pressure of his dad on his back. “It was an accident.” The pressure became more severe, and he knew he was pinned, helpless.

“You are just like your mother,” David Castlebrook snarled. “Weak as piss.” David’s hands wrapped around Ryan’s neck, and Ryan’s breathing became harder as his father’s fingers squeezed tightly.

“I can’t breathe…” Ryan urged through struggled breath.

“I should have made your mother abort you!” David’s anger increased. “I brought you into this world, and I can take you out of it.” David spoke behind a grin. “You remember that.”

“Yes… sir,” Ryan Castlebrook said, with no air in his belly. The room started to go dark for him as he began to pass out, his face squished into the warm eggs mashed on the floor. Although every time this happened it terrified Ryan, there was a brief moment of euphoria right before he passed out. A calmness of knowing it was over, the pain was gone now. The world went black for Ryan Castlebrook as he lay motionless on the kitchen floor.

Time passed by in an instant in the blackness, and Ryan was alone with his inner voice. ‘Get up.’ A single light source could be seen in the distance, a bright white light. ‘You’re not as weak as he thinks,’ the voice became louder, as did the light. ‘It’s not time yet.’

Air filled back into his belly as he coughed alone on the kitchen floor. Ryan Castlebrook felt his neck sore as he lay, taking in his surroundings, trying to work out what had happened. The cold, mashed food soggily squashed into his face as he remembered the moments leading up to him passing out. Where is he? Ryan Castlebrook thought to himself. He rolled over to see if his father was still in the room, but he lay alone. He lifted himself onto his knees and looked out the front window, which was visible from his field of view. The blue Ford Falcon ute was no longer in the gravel driveway. His father had left, and he was safe for now. Why couldn’t he have reached for the gun? Ryan Castlebrook thought to himself. Why was he so scared of ending this nightmare?

He stood up, clearing his throat. He knew he wasn’t going to wait around for his father to come back, not when he was in this mood. Ryan Castlebrook opened the screen door and sat on the porch, leaving the mess in the kitchen. Mum can clean that mess up when she returns, wherever she was, he thought to himself. He pulled out his pack of Winstons from his back pocket and pulled out a cigarette, putting it into his mouth. From his other pocket, Ryan pulled out his highly polished Zippo lighter and flicked it open with a wrist twist. The flame flickered as he lifted it up to light the cigarette. Ryan looked down at the trail of ants running around in the dry dirt. He took an inhale of smoke, and his throat burned in pain as he coughed again with the lit cigarette in his mouth. He felt so small when his dad beat on him like this. He hated that feeling of being weak. Ryan Castlebrook knew that he needed to do something to make him feel like a man again. He stood up, sucking in another large inhale from the Winston. He needed to take this anger out on someone, he thought, and as he stood up, he knew exactly where to go. A place filled with little ants he could take his anger out on. A place filled with people he could beat on. He would feel like a man again, Ryan Castlebrook thought as he began walking down the gravel driveway to begin his walk to the Starcade Station.